My SIL Exposed My Mom to Covid

[DisneyJamieCA]

That’s not how quarantines work here (Midwest). Here if someone test positive that person then let’s anyone who has been around them know. Originally the health dept was doing the contacting but as there are so many cases now it’s left to the positive person to let their contacts know. Anyone considered a close contact to the positive person must quarantine for 14 days. Of course this is all done on the honor system. I am a nanny. Last week the family I work for all tested positive. They let me know and now I’m quarantined for 14 days. My husband/kids can still go to work/school. I am not going to get tested. If I did and I came back positive then my husband/kids would now be contacts of me and they would be required to stay home. Again no one is actually checking up on this but still I’m not going to get tested.

And this is why we can’t get this under control. What a completely irresponsible, selfish attitude to have.

 

[tinatark]

I believe the money is all gone now.

This is different. Employers get a payroll tax credit to cover paid time off.

 

[Christine]

This is different. Employers get a payroll tax credit to cover paid time off.

Well, I'm not sure what to say. They aren't paying it out. In looking at the CARES act, it seems to apply to companies at 500 and under. I think maybe they are larger than that. All I know is, no one got paid and will not get paid.

 

[sam_gordon]

Of course this is all done on the honor system. I am a nanny. Last week the family I work for all tested positive. They let me know and now I’m quarantined for 14 days. My husband/kids can still go to work/school. I am not going to get tested. If I did and I came back positive then my husband/kids would now be contacts of me and they would be required to stay home. Again no one is actually checking up on this but still I’m not going to get tested.

So if you don't get tested, your husband/kids don't have contact with you? Now, are you quarantining from them? Separate bedrooms/bathrooms/precautions taken for meals? Or are you doing normal interaction?

I can understand not getting tested, IF the results wouldn't change your behavior. We have employees with spouses in health care and the spouses are regularly exposed, but our employees are allowed to return to work as long as the spouse doesn't test positive. I know that's not the case with @luvsvacation.

And, at what point is testing required?
Let's say Person A has covid (positive test result). They had spent 15 minutes indoors with Person B the day before the test result came out. Person B spent time passing in the halls with Person C the next day. Person D was then around Person C outdoors. Should person D get tested? B? C?

 

[luvsvacation]

I am following the health dept guidelines...A PP was asking about differing guidelines/requirements different places and I was explaining what the requirements are where I live. I am considered a contact because I had exposure to a positive family (although my contact with them was before they got positive results) Therefor I am quarantining for 14 days as per the health dept requirements. There is no requirement that I get tested or that my family quarantine. If I were to get tested and was positive then my family would be considered contacts and they would be required to quarantine also. I am choosing not to get tested. I am on day 11 of my quarantine and have no symptoms and neither does anyone in my immediate family. Last month my son was quarantined from a contact at school. My husband and I were still able to work, just our son had to be home for 14 days. We did not get him tested either. The school actually hinted that they’d prefer people stop testing so much because at that time for each positive student about 30-40 contact students were being sent home in quarantine. Our governor has since changed the quarantine requirements and contact students do not need to quarantine at all anymore. I’m not going around any guidelines or requirements. I’m doing what the health dept says I have to do.

edited to add...I realize requirements are different in different areas. That was the point of my post. I was telling what the requirements are where I live.

 

[Christine]

So if you don't get tested, your husband/kids don't have contact with you? Now, are you quarantining from them? Separate bedrooms/bathrooms/precautions taken for meals? Or are you doing normal interaction?

I can understand not getting tested, IF the results wouldn't change your behavior. We have employees with spouses in health care and the spouses are regularly exposed, but our employees are allowed to return to work as long as the spouse doesn't test positive. I know that's not the case with @luvsvacation.

And, at what point is testing required?
Let's say Person A has covid (positive test result). They had spent 15 minutes indoors with Person B the day before the test result came out. Person B spent time passing in the halls with Person C the next day. Person D was then around Person C outdoors. Should person D get tested? B? C?

Based on everything I'm seeing/hearing where I work (and also what I would do--my opinion certainly isn't a requirement): I think Person B should be tested. I think the risk to Person C and D was infintesimal. It takes a few days after contracting the virus to have enough virus in the nasal/throat area to register positive on the test. During that period where "you just got it and it is replicating in your system", I believe the ability to shed much of anything is not really there. Not to say it can't happen or you are shedding a teeny/tiny amount. Viral load makes a difference to how much you are ejecting out into the air and into another person. If I were person C and D, I would just probably wait and watch.

 

[Starport Seven-Five]

I am following the health dept guidelines...A PP was asking about differing guidelines/requirements different places and I was explaining what the requirements are where I live. I am considered a contact because I had exposure to a positive family (although my contact with them was before they got positive results) Therefor I am quarantining for 14 days as per the health dept requirements. There is no requirement that I get tested or that my family quarantine. If I were to get tested and was positive then my family would be considered contacts and they would be required to quarantine also. I am choosing not to get tested. I am on day 11 of my quarantine and have no symptoms and neither does anyone in my immediate family. Last month my son was quarantined from a contact at school. My husband and I were still able to work, just our son had to be home for 14 days. We did not get him tested either. The school actually hinted that they’d prefer people stop testing so much because at that time for each positive student about 30-40 contact students were being sent home in quarantine. Our governor has since changed the quarantine requirements and contact students do not need to quarantine at all anymore. I’m not going around any guidelines or requirements. I’m doing what the health dept says I have to do.

So... you know the guidelines have been changed due to pressure from school districts (instead of medical professionals) and you're following them to the letter? You can do things that are not required instead of doing the bare minimum. It's your health and your burden to carry if you find out you contributed to the spread.

Common sense would say we can only contain things with data. The idea of changing restrictions because they're inconvenient is infuriating.

 

[DLgal]

I am following the health dept guidelines...A PP was asking about differing guidelines/requirements different places and I was explaining what the requirements are where I live. I am considered a contact because I had exposure to a positive family (although my contact with them was before they got positive results) Therefor I am quarantining for 14 days as per the health dept requirements. There is no requirement that I get tested or that my family quarantine. If I were to get tested and was positive then my family would be considered contacts and they would be required to quarantine also. I am choosing not to get tested. I am on day 11 of my quarantine and have no symptoms and neither does anyone in my immediate family. Last month my son was quarantined from a contact at school. My husband and I were still able to work, just our son had to be home for 14 days. We did not get him tested either. The school actually hinted that they’d prefer people stop testing so much because at that time for each positive student about 30-40 contact students were being sent home in quarantine. Our governor has since changed the quarantine requirements and contact students do not need to quarantine at all anymore. I’m not going around any guidelines or requirements. I’m doing what the health dept says I have to do.

edited to add...I realize requirements are different in different areas. That was the point of my post. I was telling what the requirements are where I live.

No one is saying you can't go get tested on your own. You can and you should, unless you didn't have contact with the family you nanny for more than 14 days before they got took their tests. In that situation, you're likely not even technically a contact. However, the fact that they notified you means you were exposed.

The CDC DOES RECOMMEND that anyone who had direct 15+ minute contact with an infected person (asymptomatic or not) get tested. Local guidelines vary, and many have indicated testing isn't mandated for asymptomatic contacts due to testing shortages or other political motivations. However, considering that asymptomatic spread is a very real thing that can cause others to become severely ill, you should get a test.

My husband was exposed to an asymptomatic person at work. His work would not authorize a test because they are following pretty loose guidelines because they are being irresponsible (IMO). FWIW, this is a branch of the military. I was not going to allow my husband to quarantine at home for 14 days without getting tested. We have 2 children in school in person, one of whom is in a special education classroom with vulnerable students. I could not, in good conscience, send my kids off to school with the possibility that my husband has the virus and has been in our home since last Tuesday. He has been masked and sleeping in a separate bedroom, but our house is small and it is impossible for him to actually isolate in just one space, so we have been around him.

Sometimes, you have to do the right thing even when the people in charge aren't. We pursued testing (free) through Walgreens. Their only requirement is that you have been exposed to a positive person. DH just came back from the self administered test. We will have results in 3-4 days. My kids will be kept home from school until we have the result because it is the right thing to do.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

And this is why we can’t get this under control. What a completely irresponsible, selfish attitude to have.

I was developing yet again an excess faith in humanity.
The Dis tends to cure me of that ailment.

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

I am following the health dept guidelines...A PP was asking about differing guidelines/requirements different places and I was explaining what the requirements are where I live. I am considered a contact because I had exposure to a positive family (although my contact with them was before they got positive results) Therefor I am quarantining for 14 days as per the health dept requirements. There is no requirement that I get tested or that my family quarantine. If I were to get tested and was positive then my family would be considered contacts and they would be required to quarantine also. I am choosing not to get tested. I am on day 11 of my quarantine and have no symptoms and neither does anyone in my immediate family. Last month my son was quarantined from a contact at school. My husband and I were still able to work, just our son had to be home for 14 days. We did not get him tested either. The school actually hinted that they’d prefer people stop testing so much because at that time for each positive student about 30-40 contact students were being sent home in quarantine. Our governor has since changed the quarantine requirements and contact students do not need to quarantine at all anymore. I’m not going around any guidelines or requirements. I’m doing what the health dept says I have to do.

edited to add...I realize requirements are different in different areas. That was the point of my post. I was telling what the requirements are where I live.

If you are positive, they should quarantine. If you’re not, they don’t have to. But it doesn’t work that because you don’t know, they magically don’t have it.

The reason the school wants people to stop testing is not for safety. Surely you see that?

 

[Heigh-Ho]

If I were to get tested and was positive then my family would be considered contacts and they would be required to quarantine also. I am choosing not to get tested.

That's why people are reacting the way they are. You aren't, and I mean this as nicely as I can, acting in an ethical way at all. If you don't want to get tested don't but that should be because your whole family quarantines with you (and that's what happened when testing supplies were hard to come by). Having people with you and taking no true isolation precautions you could be knowingly and willfully spreading COVID around. If you lived alone and chose not to get tested and you actually quarantined there shouldn't be a problem with that. But you don't live alone and your explanation comes off as a cavalier attitude, even if you don't meant to, towards the exposure people in your community could have.

 

[Summer2018]

I am so sorry for you. I would be out of my mind with frustration and anger. I pray that all of you are well.

Now is not the time to worry about manners. This is life or death in many cases.

I have offended many people saying, 'No" to invitations, waiting for the next elevator, and not answering my door. I have had many difficult conversations with coworkers asking them to please put on their mask or cover their nose.

If I lose friends over this, so be it. I plan on being alive when we emerge from this nightmare.

 

[Mango7100]

I am following the health dept guidelines...A PP was asking about differing guidelines/requirements different places and I was explaining what the requirements are where I live. I am considered a contact because I had exposure to a positive family (although my contact with them was before they got positive results) Therefor I am quarantining for 14 days as per the health dept requirements. There is no requirement that I get tested or that my family quarantine. If I were to get tested and was positive then my family would be considered contacts and they would be required to quarantine also. I am choosing not to get tested. I am on day 11 of my quarantine and have no symptoms and neither does anyone in my immediate family. Last month my son was quarantined from a contact at school. My husband and I were still able to work, just our son had to be home for 14 days. We did not get him tested either. The school actually hinted that they’d prefer people stop testing so much because at that time for each positive student about 30-40 contact students were being sent home in quarantine. Our governor has since changed the quarantine requirements and contact students do not need to quarantine at all anymore. I’m not going around any guidelines or requirements. I’m doing what the health dept says I have to do.

edited to add...I realize requirements are different in different areas. That was the point of my post. I was telling what the requirements are where I live.

Wow...so you don’t want to get tested because then your kids and husband would have to start quarantining if you were positive? But you are totally fine with potentially being an asymptomatic spreader and having your family being asymptomatic spreaders to others? I guess everyone’s ethics are different.

 

[design_mom]

I am following the health dept guidelines...A PP was asking about differing guidelines/requirements different places and I was explaining what the requirements are where I live. I am considered a contact because I had exposure to a positive family (although my contact with them was before they got positive results) Therefor I am quarantining for 14 days as per the health dept requirements. There is no requirement that I get tested or that my family quarantine. If I were to get tested and was positive then my family would be considered contacts and they would be required to quarantine also. I am choosing not to get tested. I am on day 11 of my quarantine and have no symptoms and neither does anyone in my immediate family.

I'm not in the same state as the luvsvacation, but I believe that our guidelines are similar in that close contacts have to quarantine, but contacts of those contacts do not have to. (So luvsvacation is right to be quarantining, but her husband and kids don't have to.) Testing is only recommended if you're symptomatic (which she says she isn't) or if your healthcare provider recommends it for your particular situation. A negative test will not shorten your quarantine. If you're not symptomatic, you're automatically released from quarantine after the 14 days.

However, in her first post, it sounded like luvsvacation was saying she would choose not to be tested/family would not quarantine even if she was symptomatic... and THAT is not in line with the recommendations and would be unethical.

 

[Heigh-Ho]

I'm not in the same state as the luvsvacation, but I believe that our guidelines are similar in that close contacts have to quarantine, but contacts of those contacts do not have to. (So luvsvacation is right to be quarantining, but her husband and kids don't have to.) Testing is only recommended if you're symptomatic (which she says she isn't) or if your healthcare provider recommends it for your particular situation. A negative test will not shorten your quarantine. If you're not symptomatic, you're automatically released from quarantine after the 14 days.

However, in her first post, it sounded like luvsvacation was saying she would choose not to be tested/family would not quarantine even if she was symptomatic... and THAT is not in line with the recommendations and would be unethical.

The wording the poster uses is that she doesn't want to get tested because if she ends up positive that means her family has to quarantine. Putting that in writing will get you disproval for sure because her family could be spreading it but she'd rather say ignorance is bliss in this case.

 

[luvsvacation]

I'm not in the same state as the luvsvacation, but I believe that our guidelines are similar in that close contacts have to quarantine, but contacts of those contacts do not have to. (So luvsvacation is right to be quarantining, but her husband and kids don't have to.) Testing is only recommended if you're symptomatic (which she says she isn't) or if your healthcare provider recommends it for your particular situation. A negative test will not shorten your quarantine. If you're not symptomatic, you're automatically released from quarantine after the 14 days.

However, in her first post, it sounded like luvsvacation was saying she would choose not to be tested/family would not quarantine even if she was symptomatic... and THAT is not in line with the recommendations and would be unethical.

Thank you. To clear up any misunderstanding I am not symptomatic and if I was symptomatic I would get tested. I’m on day 11 with no symptoms and no symptoms for my family either. I am not not getting tested, I am under no obligation to get tested according to the health dept and I’m not symptomatic. I have 3 days left of my quarantine.

 

[Heigh-Ho]

Thank you. To clear up any misunderstanding I am not symptomatic and if I was symptomatic I would get tested. I’m on day 11 with no symptoms and no symptoms for my family either. I am not not getting tested, I am under no obligation to get tested according to the health dept and I’m not symptomatic. I have 3 days left of my quarantine.

But you realize you can be asymptomatic, spread it to your family who is also asymptomatic who spreads it to others? That's what we're speaking to. If I could get tested because my area had the resources and I was in your shoes I would absolutely do so. I think if you didn't want your family to have to quarantine maybe you should have isolated away from your family for 14 days elsewhere.

 

[Hikergirl]

If you know you were exposed to an entire family that has tested positive, why would you not want to get tested? Wouldn't you want to know so you weren't spreading it to your own family, and to the people they would come in contact with at work, school or out?

ETA- I know several people who have been in contact with COVID + people, every single one of them got themselves tested to make sure they weren't positive.
My dd got herself tested 3 times in a 2 week span because one of her housemates had it. She never had direct contact with him (so not required to be tested) but she was really worried that she would pick it up from the house.
She was negative each time but she wanted to make sure she wasn't going to spread it to the rest of us if she came home, and then us spread it to others. I don't understand not being willing to get tested, I just don't.

 

[brockash]

I agree, but that doesn't change the fact that the SIL was exposed to a COVID positive person, and that means you should quarantine instead of visiting your MIL. You don't need a doctor or anyone else telling you what you should do, if you have an ounce of common sense and decency you know what you should do in that case.

I guess I'm confused...did she visit or drop off a dog? My sister drops off her dog to my mom almost every day and there are many days that she doesn't even see my mom...just yells hi/bye as she goes to work. Also, I was speaking about the OP saying the sil shouldn't have gone to work and how simple that is. Like it or not, the fact of the matter is telling your employer, who has the info. and yet tells you thst you still need to come to work; that you're not going to because "you feel" you should quarantine is NOT all that simple.

 

[mjkacmom]

But you realize you can be asymptomatic, spread it to your family who is also asymptomatic who spreads it to others? That's what we're speaking to. If I could get tested because my area had the resources and I was in your shoes I would absolutely do so. I think if you didn't want your family to have to quarantine maybe you should have isolated away from your family for 14 days elsewhere.

The person my daughter most likely got it from had zero symptoms, she herself had no symptoms and was positive.