I was just talking about Christmas gifts today and I think our whole family is just going to stop exchanging gifts. We all have been hit with Murphy, my car just keeps sucking in the money! Had to replace washer and dryer this year, just replaced the roof on one of my outdoor sheds, parents have both had some pricey work on their cars. Now maybe if Murphy leaves then we will do something small. Plus my mom retired in April and I left my full time job and went to one that's only 7 months.
On a different note, what did you decide about the ex?
Sounds like you've had a pretty rough year. Murphy is most definitely not on my Christmas card list!1
On the other note ... I forget exactly where I left off in the continuing drama, but had talked with the ex about what would be required for him to move back. (Had to have a job already lined up or money to support himself while looking for a job; must pay his full share of the monthly bills; needing him to get on the same page concerning paying off the cc's that I racked up supporting him, etc.) I was feeling pretty good about the conversation. When it ended, he had agreed to stay where he was, find a job and save up, continue applying online for local jobs, and would come back around the end of Oct.
3 days after the conversation, he showed up on the doorstep with a "here I am, aren't you happy" attitude. I was not pleased. He's still unemployed, still not (really) contributing to the house bills. (In fairness, he is doing most of the house/yard work, but the only thing he has taken over that I wasn't doing already - and usually better - is mowing the yard.)
I probably need to find a way to tell him that he needs to leave. My own thinking on the matter was that this would be his "third strike" so to speak. He's now been back almost 2 weeks, and doesn't have a job yet (though that's not surprising, jobs are scarce here and most of them he can't get because of the way he left when he was working there before), he is looking and applying, but it is just hitting him this week that I was serious about not being able to afford him staying. I quit buying food, drinks, and cigarettes. I personally figure that it is a healthier choice for me anyway, and I do have a pantry fairly full of food to last for quite a while, but no caffeine or nicotine has really been hitting him quite hard.
The biggest challenge I see to telling him to leave is that at this point he literally has no where to go, and no way to get there. And (though it may be considered a weakness) I don't want to kick him out to live on the street. But, it is quickly approaching not being an option. I've been talking to an old roommate that my ex drove off, and he has said that he would consider moving back if the ex is gone. And this roommate pays his bills (though, he can't pay 1/2 of all the bills. He's on a fixed income he can pay about 1/3 of the house bills).
So, I'm kind of in this inbetween area of "the ex is trying, just not currently meeting the requirements. But
IF he does, he'll be able to pay more than the former roommate who is able to pay right now, but not a full 1/2. Which would put me in the position to VERY slowly make headway, eventually."
I'm kind of thinking currently, continue talking to the other roommate, and if he makes a committment to move in when the ex is gone, that'll be my sign to kick the ex out, provided the ex has not found a job by then and is contributing at least as much as the old/new roommate.
I don't know if I'm too nice, or just really trying to avoid confrontation.
I still have hopes and dreams of getting all my cc bills paid off. I think if I quit buying food, I'll get there a lot faster.
Good idea on planning the Christmas budget. I'm prone to WAAAAAAY overspending when I see good gifts. I think this year, people are going to get a heartfelt, handmade "I'm glad you know me, I love you" card.
My dad was going to put the new parts on my car but instead he said he preferred to take it to a mechanic. Good thing - because there were more issues and if he had started I would've had to have it towed. So, instead of saving all the money by buying the parts - it was used for the new repairs (this total was to the tune of $600 
