After looking at the wedding pictures thread: so who pays for the wedding?

[Magpie]

In my mom's case, she had a stroke and went from the hospital, to a rehab center that also had nursing home care. The people at rehab told me "you don't want your mother here with 120 other patients". They set me up with a Residential Care Facility for the Elderly. These are homes in regular neighborhoods that have no more than 6 residents, each with their own bedroom and bathroom, a common living and dining area, and 24 hour care. Much cheaper, and insurance paid for rehab and nursing staff to come by every few days to check on her

Very nice!

My mother-in-law's residence was organized by floor, each having about twenty residents. Depending on your floor, there were varying levels of care. (ie, the "Memory floor" was for patients with dementia, while the "Independent living" floors were for people who didn't need assistance with daily life, etc) On my mother-in-law's floor, there were two nurses available 24/7, plus the kitchen staff (her floor had its own kitchen) who frequently helped out when the nurses were busy. As well, she was getting many hours of personal support workers each day, who would help her with her personal needs and keep her company. They came in the morning, then again at lunch, and in the evening - paid for by the province.

Every patient had their own apartment (of varying sizes) with their own bathroom. The downstairs dining room looked like a nice restaurant and had the menu posted every day. There was an activity schedule posted in the elevator and movies played twice daily in the building's theatre. Plus regular concerts and guest lecturers, etc. Near the end, my mother-in-law preferred to leave her door open, as she wanted the company when she was in her room. The nurses would pop their heads in on her, every time they passed by. She also spent a lot of time in the common area, near the kitchen, with other residents. Often sleeping in her wheelchair, but she preferred it that way (she said). She was very tired, toward the end.

I would say that her building was in a "regular neighbourhood" though it wasn't a suburb style thing. It was centrally urban, right across the street from a mall, a bus stop out front, and very close to our home, which was nice. (I'm not really sure how to define "regular neighbourhood, to be honest.)

 

[tvguy]

Very nice!

My mother-in-law's residence was organized by floor, each having about twenty residents. Depending on your floor, there were varying levels of care. (ie, the "Memory floor" was for patients with dementia, while the "Independent living" floors were for people who didn't need assistance with daily life, etc) On my mother-in-law's floor, there were two nurses available 24/7, plus the kitchen staff (her floor had its own kitchen) who frequently helped out when the nurses were busy. As well, she was getting many hours of personal support workers each day, who would help her with her personal needs and keep her company. They came in the morning, then again at lunch, and in the evening - paid for by the province.

Every patient had their own apartment (of varying sizes) with their own bathroom. The downstairs dining room looked like a nice restaurant and had the menu posted every day. There was an activity schedule posted in the elevator and movies played twice daily in the building's theatre. Plus regular concerts and guest lecturers, etc. Near the end, my mother-in-law preferred to leave her door open, as she wanted the company when she was in her room. The nurses would pop their heads in on her, every time they passed by. She also spent a lot of time in the common area, near the kitchen, with other residents. Often sleeping in her wheelchair, but she preferred it that way (she said). She was very tired, toward the end.

I would say that her building was in a "regular neighbourhood" though it wasn't a suburb style thing. It was centrally urban, right across the street from a mall, a bus stop out front, and very close to our home, which was nice. (I'm not really sure how to define "regular neighbourhood, to be honest.)

The Rehab Center/Nursing home folks said all I would do by keeping mom with 119 other people was expose her to colds and the flu and other illnesses in such a large group living situation.

 

[Magpie]

The Rehab Center/Nursing home folks said all I would do by keeping mom with 119 other people was expose her to colds and the flu and other illnesses in such a large group living situation.

Very good point. That's always a risk (and one I'm acutely aware of, as I tutor young children out of my home and it seems they're constantly sick). I counted us lucky (and a great deal of the credit goes to the staff, as well) that my mother-in-law never got any sort of communicable illness while she was there.

It was mildly entertaining, several months ago, when they called me to ask for permission to give her a flu shot, and I told them, "Just ask her!" My mother-in-law was always perfectly capable of making up her own mind. But apparently, they needed more than just her okay, so I ended up saying, "Whatever she decides she wants you to do, is what I'm officially giving permission for you to do."

She got her flu shot, of course, as did we all. It wasn't illness that took her out in the end, it was the lung cancer.

 

[punkin]

I love the way the thread evolved into a nursing home discussion. How very DIS! I guess it's all phases of life stuff.

 

[tvguy]

It was mildly entertaining, several months ago, when they called me to ask for permission to give her a flu shot, and I told them, "Just ask her!" My mother-in-law was always perfectly capable of making up her own mind. But apparently, they needed more than just her okay, so I ended up saying, "Whatever she decides she wants you to do, is what I'm officially giving permission for you to do."

.

Yeah, my "call" was when my mom refused to take her dentures out. She didn't have dentures. She had all her teeth at age 90, except the one she had pulled when she was 17.......no dentists on the farm, the VET pulled it.

 

[hereyago]

We paid for it because we we grown,lol. It was a simple JOP ceremony. My dress wasn't a conventional dress. Only a few people at the house. A friend made wedding cake and made the veil.
No money for honeymoon. And I am very glad it worked that way, because, we only lasted 3 years.

Dd knows I will be bucking tradition and not pay for her wedding.

 

[BLAZEY]

My mum (dad passed when I was 6) gave me $15000 to pay for it. We had 80 people. Ceremony and Reception at a nice hotel on the water October 2002. Out of that money mum gave me I paid for: marriage commissioner to perform the ceremony, site rental, photos and wedding album, string Quartet DJ, catering, open bar, my dress, shoes, hemming of dress, bridesmaids dresses (2), shoes for them (2). 2 hotel rooms as well one for us girls and one for the guys to get ready in. Any money left over was our wedding gift which we bough our bedroom suite with. Also my hair was paid for out of it, my sister did my makeup. In-laws( FIL & Step MIL) hosted and paid for the rehearsal dinner, flowers (Step MIL's BFF is a florist). MIL paid for the tux rentals for the groom and groomsmen, and 2 bottles of wine on each table to start. Out of my own money I bought gifts for my MofH and bridesmaid & Flower girl, as well as the marriage license.

 

[mefordis]

My DH and I paid for our wedding except my mother bought my wedding outfit. If it was on my body, veil to shoes, she paid.

How did you do it?

Paid for everything except I got $500 from my mom.

 

[Lyricallie]

My DH and I paid for our wedding except my mother bought my wedding outfit. If it was on my body, veil to shoes, she paid.

How did you do it?

My boyfriend and I have started talking about this too. My mum said she woulds pay for my dress (and my sisters) and I would assume my BFs parents would pay for a specific thing. Maybe his kilt hire? Then we would pay the rest ourselves. We would have a low key one. The honeymoon would be where we would spend our money

 

[DawnM]

My parents gave us $10,000. I had the wedding for $5,000 and used the rest as a downpayment on our first house.

We had an 11am wedding and lunch buffet with cake, all at the church. Church rental, $250 as I recall, including the reception hall.

1995.

We are still married.

I will encourage my kids to have a simple wedding and save their $$.

 

[Katy Belle]

DH and I paid for some of it, and our parents paid for some of it. I know I paid for the dress, veil, invitations, cake, erc. DH paid for the DJ , the beer, the photographer. It didn't cost much. It was 1989. Church wedding, DJ dance in the "town hall." We had a keg and sandwiches and salads made by our Aunts, a wedding cake made by a family friend. All of my friends weddings were like this. It was probably less than $1,500. It was lovely, and we are still married.

 

[Squirlz]

We paid, and a lot of friends helped out with arrangements, decorations etc.. We got married 600 miles away in North Carolina. My Wife used to live in Tennessee and was a regular on the road called The Dragon. She was one of the fastest drivers there and she made friends with all the sport bikers.

The manager of the Deals Gap Motorcycle Resort was a good friend and he let us use the diner for our reception. He also blocked out all 14 rooms for our Michigan friends who came down. The officiant was a friend and the outdoor locale was free.

So we thought we got off cheap until we checked out of our room and were presented with a 4 figure bill. Our friend the manager thought we were paying for everybody's rooms!

 

[MrsDuck]

My parents paid for everything but my dress (Grandma bought that) and the rehearsal dinner (DH and I footed the bill for that).

 

[scrapquitler]

My parents paid for the people they invited, my inlaws paid for the people they invited. My parents also paid for the flowers (They owned the flower shop, so that was a given). DH and I paid for my gown, the DJ, the photographer and the honeymoon. Almost everything else was part of the package deal for the reception (limo, cake, flowers in the reception hall, food, alcohol, etc).

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

My fiance and I will be paying for this ourselves. I am not entirely sure how we are going to divide up the costs. I am not going to ask my father, because this is number 3 for me, and I am not convinced that he approves of this.

 

[DawnM]

My fiance and I will be paying for this ourselves. I am not entirely sure how we are going to divide up the costs. I am not going to ask my father, because this is number 3 for me, and I am not convinced that he approves of this.

Who paid for your first wedding?

 

[DisAuntie]

Who paid for your first wedding?

Or second.

 

[tvguy]

Or second.

One, and done.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

Who paid for your first wedding?

Or second.

#1 My parents
#2 My parents did about half, it was a lot less budget. The two of us scraped together the rest.

 

[Jaime4004]

My parents gave us $10000 for a wedding or whatever else we wanted. DH is a party guy so we used up pretty much all of it on a wedding. I'm an eloping sort of girl but I agreed since he had the $$ for a down payment on a house already. MIL paid for the rehearsal dinner, then ended up paying for an open bar when she heard we were going to make guests pay for their own drinks. My parents gave my brother and his wife the same amount and they had a smaller wedding and used the rest for a house.
I plan on doing the same for my 3 kids (whatever I can afford at the time, hopefully I have time to save!) and they can decide how elaborate, but my daughter will definitely not get more just because she's a girl...