After looking at the wedding pictures thread: so who pays for the wedding?

[mdb78]

My parents paid for the reception (cake was included in the package), photographer, limo, flowers and the. band. Mil did the rehearsal dinner.

Dh and I paid for our attire, invitations (save the date and wedding), rings, and other little details.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

XH and I got married at the court house 4 days before he left to Iraq in 2003. My grandmother bought me a dress (off the rack at Strawbridges...now Macy's) because "her first granddaughter was not getting married in regular clothes!" It was a quickie marriage so we were just going to run in, do it and leave. Word got out and it turned into him in his uniform, me in a dress and about 30-40 family members. The mayor had to move it from her office (where she usually does them) to the court room so our entire family could watch. Gotta love them! lol

After my dad gave me $100 to have a nice dinner. We went to a local diner and then to the mall to develop our pictures. My ex MIL threw a party at her house 3 days later. She paid for a cake and food. It was a dual "reception" and going away party.

For my children we will not be paying for their weddings. We don't believe in it. My XH said he will give them a gift but he refuses to pay for weddings. His reasoning is "why am I going to pay thousands of dollars for a wedding when the odds are they'll be divorced within 10 years." Considering the divorce rate I see where he's coming from.

My plan for DS's wedding I'll pay for the rehearsal dinner and maybe the limo. For DD's wedding I'll buy her dress and something else. After the wedding I'll give a gift also.

ETA: I will be paying for my DD's quinceanera and I offered my son a trip for his 16th birthday.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

My DH and I paid for our wedding except my mother bought my wedding outfit. If it was on my body, veil to shoes, she paid.

How did you do it?

DH and I paid for everything. Which is why the dress was borrowed; we married in a wedding chapel in Nevada; no dinner or anything, just a homemade cake and drinks at the house before we left on our honeymoon; he wore the clothes he owned already; no engagement ring, and 2 cheap wedding bands; and my flowers were bought that morning at the local florists, and just wrapped together quickly.
But you know what? I wouldn't trade any of it. For us, it was perfect. It wasn't about the show, it was about us.

 

[bjscheel]

I think DH's parents paid for the photographer and rehearsal dinner. My parents paid for the rest as far as I know. I was at college and my mom basically handled everything so I don't know all the details. Mom made my dress, my sister's, and the flower girls'; MIL made her daughter's bridesmaid dress. The wedding was at church and reception at the county fairgrounds- minimal cost. My brother DJ'd and the moms made most of the reception dinner. So it wasn't a big financial hit to anyone.

 

[blana]

My parents paid somewhere under $5000 for my wedding, including my dress, food flowers. (I know it was under $5000 because my mom told me that was my budget & several years alter told me she had finally transferred all the money out of that account & closed it.) I bought my undergarments & veil. DH's parents paid for the rehearsal dinner.

 

[RedAngie]

XH and I got married at the court house 4 days before he left to Iraq in 2003. My grandmother bought me a dress (off the rack at Strawbridges...now Macy's) because "her first granddaughter was not getting married in regular clothes!" It was a quickie marriage so we were just going to run in, do it and leave. Word got out and it turned into him in his uniform, me in a dress and about 30-40 family members. The mayor had to move it from her office (where she usually does them) to the court room so our entire family could watch. Gotta love them! lol

After my dad gave me $100 to have a nice dinner. We went to a local diner and then to the mall to develop our pictures. My ex MIL threw a party at her house 3 days later. She paid for a cake and food. It was a dual "reception" and going away party.

For my children we will not be paying for their weddings. We don't believe in it. My XH said he will give them a gift but he refuses to pay for weddings. His reasoning is "why am I going to pay thousands of dollars for a wedding when the odds are they'll be divorced within 10 years." Considering the divorce rate I see where he's coming from.

My plan for DS's wedding I'll pay for the rehearsal dinner and maybe the limo. For DD's wedding I'll buy her dress and something else. After the wedding I'll give a gift also.

ETA: I will be paying for my DD's quinceanera and I offered my son a trip for his 16th birthday.

I got my wedding gown at Strawbridges too, when it was still Strawbridge & Clothier. Downtown Philly store, because they had a much bigger selection than suburban locations.

By any chance was the local diner Ponzios?

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I got my wedding gown at Strawbridges too, when it was still Strawbridge & Clothier. Downtown Philly store, because they had a much bigger selection than suburban locations.

By any chance was the local diner Ponzios?

No we went to the Phily Diner in Runnemede. But I do enjoy Ponzios too. We do a lot of business lunches there.

 

[tvguy]

I'll leave a note on the fridge

LOL. My mom took a lot of day bus trips in her retirement years (casinos, events, etc). She always left a note on the kitchen table saying where she was, where her car was parked, and when she expected to be back.
She also was very big on getting bargain cruises.....like $299 to $399 for 7 days. Her instructions if something should happen to her on the cruise...."leave me on the ship, I paid for 7 days"

 

[MomofKatie]

I paid for my own dress, shoes, veil, and DH's ring.
DH paid for my rings and his tux.
Together, we paid for half of our honeymoon.
My parents paid for the venue, food, photographer, DJ, flowers, and other items.
My inlaws paid for the rehearsal dinner, officiant (we didn't care if a minister married us, but they insisted), and half of our honeymoon.

 

[Tasha228]

We paid for everything and it was just the 2 of us. Married and honeymooned in Gatlinburg. I had been married before and never had the wedding or honeymoon I wanted. This time I did and wouldn't change a thing.

 

[shoney]

1992...parents paid for mostly everything...dress, reception, church, limos, video, photo's, favors, etc...about $20k
In laws paid for rehearsal dinner.
DH paid for balloons to fill the limo at the church.
I paid for nothing...LOL

 

[mrsg00fy]

We paid for our own and I would never have expected my mother to pay for anything. I also do not intend to pay for any portion of my sons' weddings. We do not subscribe to the traditional expectations of who pays for what. We will give them a gift to spend as they choose. We are paying for their educations and feel that is the best use of our resources.

 

[Disneyland1084]

My parents paid for the wedding, my step-dad paid for my wedding dress, and DH's parents paid for the rehearsal dinner.

 

[leebee]

I was 36 and DH was 32 when we married, living in San Francisco but married at (my) home in Maine. We paid for: Invitations, made the wedding programs, 2 weeks rental car, made my dress, veil, and embellished plain white satin shoes, DH's tux, rehearsal dinner for 20 (clambake, beer, wine), flowers, church (no limos, drove our own cars), amazing buffet dinner at a local restaurant (100 guests), champagne toast and 2 bottles of wine per table (but cash bar otherwise) DJ, favors, table decorations, balloons and twinkle lights for the hall. Frequent flyer miles covered airfare for me, DH, and his dad. My sister owns a retail shop so we ordered our wedding rings and bridesmaid's dresses wholesale, although the girls paid for the dresses ($22 each), wore their own white shoes, and the groomsmen paid for their tuxes ($50). My sister and BIL worked part-time in a bakery, so they made and gave us our cake as our gift. A friend did the photography as a gift. We went to a local rose grower for bouquets and bought 2 pails of roses and made centerpieces. We paid for DH's family's accommodations. They were all from IN and OH and I knew it'd cost for them to get to Maine, so we told them if they could get there we'd put them up. We rented family cabins directly across the street from the beach; fortunately it was just before the summer season started, so we got a good deal on 6 cabins for 4 nights. We also paid for our "honeymoon," 3 days/2 nights in Bar Harbor, although we went the weekend before the wedding to take advantage of off-season hotel rates (and we'd been living together for 8 years, so...). We set a budget of $6000 and stayed within. I cannot remember if that included attendant's gifts or not, but the girls got matching earrings to wear at the wedding (wholesale from my sister's shop) and I believe we got the guys engraved glass beer mugs. DH wants to be able to pay for as much of DD's wedding as we can. She is a practical girl who won't throw money around, but I know that she also feels that she and her boyfriend should pay for the wedding (not that they are yet engaged, but the talk...), so we shall see what happens, when the time comes.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

My parents strongly believed that the parents of the bride pay for the wedding. So they did. 1996 about $30,000 total. It was beautiful and perfect and I wouldn't change a thing.

My inlaws hosted the rehearsal dinner and paid for the honeymoon.

I don't believe my husband and I paid for anything.

 

[Magpie]

Well, on a serious note, you may not have a say in that. My mom had the financial end of things all in order (long term care insurance), but when the time came, it was on me to find the facility bet suited her needs because she was not in a position to communicate her opinions. So if you want to die in your bathtub, make sure to tell your kids, or whoever you have designated as your Medical Power of Attorney, what you want and do it TODAY.

So much this.

Also, barring certain acts which may or may not be legal in your country (or even be something you could ever contemplate), nursing homes can sometimes be your best option.

I am incredibly grateful to the attentive and compassionate staff who helped us see my mother-in-law through to the end of her life. When it was no longer safe for her to remain in our home, and when she needed specialized nursing support that I could not provide, she decided to move into a home (we were looking into installing a lift to our front door, etc, but she didn't want that - heck, she was scared of escalators!). We chose her particular nursing home (with her input and support) because it was a lively, welcoming place with residents out and about, according to their abilities, and cheerful staff who greeted each one by name. We even commented that it reminded us of a Disney resort, minus the pool. We routinely visited her for several hours every day, and got to know them all. When she passed away in the night (having a DNR), they were there for her when we weren't. And they were genuinely saddened by her passing.

We are very grateful to them all. I will never think of nursing homes the same way again.

 

[John VN]

My wife's parents paid for the majority of it. My parents paid for the rehearsal dinner and a few other things.

Been married 43 years and wife's parents paid for entire wedding, mine the rehearsal dinner. SOP back then.

 

[tvguy]

So much this.

Also, barring certain acts which may or may not be legal in your country (or even be something you could ever contemplate), nursing homes can sometimes be your best option.

I am incredibly grateful to the attentive and compassionate staff who helped us see my mother-in-law through to the end of her life. When it was no longer safe for her to remain in our home, and when she needed specialized nursing support that I could not provide, she decided to move into a home (we were looking into installing a lift to our front door, etc, but she didn't want that - heck, she was scared of escalators!). We chose her particular nursing home (with her input and support) because it was a lively, welcoming place with residents out and about, according to their abilities, and cheerful staff who greeted each one by name. We even commented that it reminded us of a Disney resort, minus the pool. We routinely visited her for several hours every day, and got to know them all. When she passed away in the night (having a DNR), they were there for her when we weren't. And they were genuinely saddened by her passing.

We are very grateful to them all. I will never think of nursing homes the same way again.

In my mom's case, she had a stroke and went from the hospital, to a rehab center that also had nursing home care. The people at rehab told me "you don't want your mother here with 120 other patients". They set me up with a Residential Care Facility for the Elderly. These are homes in regular neighborhoods that have no more than 6 residents, each with their own bedroom and bathroom, a common living and dining area, and 24 hour care. Much cheaper, and insurance paid for rehab and nursing staff to come by every few days to check on her

 

[Kitty 34]

DH and I paid for our wedding.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

We planned on paying for everything. But my parents did instead.

They bought my dress, paid for the flowers and paid for the reception. I was gifted invitations. And my maid of honor and I made our favors.