After looking at the wedding pictures thread: so who pays for the wedding?

[Turn the Page]

Traditionally the Groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner, and the flowers. That set us back $7,000 last year for DS's wedding.
Traditionally the Bride's family pays for everything else.

I was talking to a friend of the family this weekend whose son is getting married soon. He was complaining about the wedding. Apparently there are about 500 people invited, 11 attendants each, etc. It is getting really massive. He said he was told that traditionally it was the grooms parents responsibility to pay for the rehearsal dinner and open bar. It was hilarious to hear him say "I am NOT paying for an open bar for 500 people!!!" Not that I blame it a bit but it was funny to hear.

 

[focusondisney]

We're married 38 years. My parents paid for the food at our reception, about $400. FIL paid for the liquor. DH and I paid for everything else: my gown, invitations, flowers, photographer, band, engraved napkins & match books ( it was the thing back then, lol!). Our honeymoon was 3 nights in Toronto, a 90 minute drive away, we paid for that too.

Our DD was married 7 years ago at a large banguet facility with only 100 people. We paid for everything related to the wedding (invitations, d.j., her gown & accessories, venue, sit down dinner with passed hordorves, Vianese table, flowers, cake, favors, etc) except the photographer. DD & husband paid for that. His parents paid for the rehearsal dinner (12 people total) & the honeymoon. We also got hotel rooms the night before & night of wedding for us, DD & our DS. Unfortunately, the marriage only lasted 2 years. DH says she's on her own for the next wedding, lol!

DS just got married this past summer. They had 200 people at a trendy downtown restaurant. I don't know the total cost but her parents paid the majority of it. DH & I gave them $6K to spend as needed on the wedding. We did the rehearsal dinner at a waterfront restaurant for 30 people with a buffet dinner & 3 hour open bar. Total cost was about $2600. Again, we got hotel rooms for ourselves & our DD. DS & DDIL paid for their honeymoon.

We also gave each of them $1000 as a wedding gift. We were so happy to be able to help give both our kids the weddings they wanted. We enjoyed everything about both weddings. Actually, my DH, who isn't very social or outgoing, said DS's wedding was the most fun he's had since our own wedding!!

 

[ronandannette]

First wedding: Both sets of parents contributed, but exH and I paid for the bulk of it. Parents paid for the honeymoon airfare and hotels (London and Paris).

Second wedding: Very small, DH and I paid for everything.

Yep, I considered the bridesmaids dresses/groomsmen's tux rentals to be part of the cost borne by exH and me.

That's just the way it was done where I come from. I'd been in a couple of weddings and the dresses were provided; it never occurred to us not to pay for them and the tux rentals for our attendants. Come to think of it, I never really knew of the high cost of being in a wedding party probably until I read about it here on the DIS. I wish I'd known then they were supposed to take me exotic places for parties and give me lavish gifts (not to mention get their own shoes dyed)!

 

[Pacolovestacos]

Just remember, your children will be picking your nursing home.

I will die in my bathtub before I go to a nursing home.

 

[indimom]

Parents of the Bride: Paid for the meal (buffet style, serving 200+ people) and helped with cost of the reception venue. Oh, and my mother made the bridesmaids dresses (free labor).
Parents of the Groom: Paid for/prepared the rehearsal dinner in the church basement and paid for the non-alcoholic drinks at the reception.

DH and I paid for the rest.

DH and I and our families helped set up the hall and clean up after. That's just how it was done back then. Venues in our area didn't provide all the perks that they have available today.

 

[Mizzoufan]

I think the groom and bride should

 

[nene0182]

My husband and I paid for everything except the rehearsal dinner. My mother in law offered to pay because she wanted it at their country club and it would meet their yearly spending requirement so we went with it.

 

[aprilgail]

Ha! Not after what I paid for my girls college.

EXACTLY!! I told my daughter I will manage college but she is on her own for a wedding- I hope she just elopes and doesn't bother with the whole ceremony and reception stuff- save the money and use it towards a house instead of a one day party.

 

[tvguy]

I was talking to a friend of the family this weekend whose son is getting married soon. He was complaining about the wedding. Apparently there are about 500 people invited, 11 attendants each, etc. It is getting really massive. He said he was told that traditionally it was the grooms parents responsibility to pay for the rehearsal dinner and open bar. It was hilarious to hear him say "I am NOT paying for an open bar for 500 people!!!" Not that I blame it a bit but it was funny to hear.

The venue we used had a great option. Limited menu (wine, beer and standard mixed drinks) hosted bar from 6 pm to 10 pm, much broader menu (premium spirits, fancy mixed drinks and premium beer) as no host bar. No host bar from 10 pm on.

 

[tvguy]

I will die in my bathtub before I go to a nursing home.

Well, on a serious note, you may not have a say in that. My mom had the financial end of things all in order (long term care insurance), but when the time came, it was on me to find the facility bet suited her needs because she was not in a position to communicate her opinions. So if you want to die in your bathtub, make sure to tell your kids, or whoever you have designated as your Medical Power of Attorney, what you want and do it TODAY.

 

[DisneyHardin]

DH and I have been married 8.5 years. We got married when he was 30 and I was 29.

My parents paid for most everything. My parents are divorced and my mom told me she would give me $5000 toward it and my dad gave me about $5000 too. DH's parents paid for th rehearsal dinner, but it was very small and only included 13 people, so they got off pretty cheap. I think out total wedding was about $12000, so I paid that last $2000 myself.

 

[Meriweather]

My parents paid for it. DH's parents paid for the rehearsal dinner.

When DS got married, future in-laws would only pay for so much. They were poor, so we paid for the rehearsal dinner, cake, and flowers.
Gave them the honeymoon for a present too.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Our entire wedding was about 10,000 in 2011. Which is a lot cheaper than the norm.

FIL paid for about half of the reception (food/drinks...venue was free as he was a country club member.) We paid for the other half.

My parents paid for the DJ.

My MIL paid for the cake.

We paid for the rest. Bridal party covered their own expenses, but I did things as cheap as possible--let them pick whatever dress and shoes they wanted as long as they were the same length and color, getting hair and makeup done was optional for them.

It was a beautiful wedding and we wouldn't have changed anything.

 

[Cinnabunny]

We're getting married in just over 10 weeks, and it's a mix up of who's paying for what. We intended to pay for everything, and started booking things. The total looks like it's coming to less than £3k, which is more than I wanted, but there are a few things I don't really want to compromise on (quality of food etc), and we could afford it.

People have started offering things instead of gifts. Mum's doing the table decs, a friend is doing the flowers, the in-laws have said they're paying for OH's suit, and the toast drinks, and my grandparents have offered to buy the food and put towards my dress. Feeling very grateful by it all tbh Not a single one of them has demanded anything be changed or tried to tell us how to do it.

We're paying for the honeymoon, but have asked for contributions for extra activities (tours etc) from those who don't mind, instead of gifts.

 

[DisAuntie]

We are paying for college. Our kids will be responsible for their own weddings.

 

[Darcy03231]

We've budgeted the same dollar amount for all of our children when they get married. Depending on what they want, it could cover the cost of the wedding. DD#1 spent what we gave her (and more) on her wedding. DS #1 is only spending part of it and using the other part for a down payment on a house.

 

[Parker Clan]

My parents gave me a set budget and paid for almost our entire wedding. My husband and I really didn't want a big wedding but my Dad really did.. He invited all his friends, extended family we never see etc He also paid for the rehearsal dinner and I did not have a shower bc we had a 5 mo engagement. My husband and I reimbursed him for the amount we went over the set budget. We also paid for some of our own things like the photo booth etc. We also took my parents to a Steelers game in December as a thank you which wasnt cheap. We are very appreciative what my parents contributed and it was a beautiful day. I also had the BEST time planning with my Mother- it was an amazing bonding experience I'll cherish forever not to sound too corny. We met weekly at my house for what we called "wedding stuff" it was great!

 

[ronandannette]

My parents paid for it. DH's parents paid for the rehearsal dinner.

When DS got married, future in-laws would only pay for so much. They were poor, so we paid for the rehearsal dinner, cake, and flowers.
Gave them the honeymoon for a present too.

We're not exactly "poor" and yet when DS marries, we are only going to be paying for "so much" - based on the amount we are willing and able to contribute at the time (same as we did for his sisters). Are you implying that people of means (however you define that) are obligated to write their offspring a blank cheque for wedding expenses?

 

[Pacolovestacos]

Well, on a serious note, you may not have a say in that. My mom had the financial end of things all in order (long term care insurance), but when the time came, it was on me to find the facility bet suited her needs because she was not in a position to communicate her opinions. So if you want to die in your bathtub, make sure to tell your kids, or whoever you have designated as your Medical Power of Attorney, what you want and do it TODAY.

I'll leave a note on the fridge

 

[Pooh2]

We paid for our own wedding (32 years ago).