"Family" restrooms??

[smidgy]

. And it isn't the little girls it is the 11,12,13 yr olds who know what special needs are but don't like staring at a boy of their own age and having them stare back at them.

.

just cause the boy their own age "catches" their eye, doesn't mean they any interest at all in them. they jsut want to get in andout as soon as possible. in the stalls. with the walls ..
\

sheesh. never had this problem, but then again my boys were older. when we come with our grandson? I really don't give a flying .....what anyone thinks.... really. he will most likely go in the men's room with grandpa. if that isn't possible, he will go in the women's room with me
I hope any "little psyches" aren't permanently damaged...

 

[FireDancer]

While I genuinely don't care what you do with your kid I find it hysterical how paranoid of the men's room people are. I've been using one all my life and I have never witnessed anything in one that would hurt a child physically, mentally, or emotionally.

Of course there are rare occurrences of something bad happening but living your life in fear because of annomolies is just plain paranoia.

This is especially true at Disney World. I could even see a kid that is on the border of being old enough not using a highway restroom at 3:00am on a road trip but in a populated amusement park? I have never been in a Disney restroom alone no matter how slow the parks were.

The irrational fear of the highly unlikely is equal parts amusing and sad.

 

[livndisney]

just cause the boy their own age "catches" their eye, doesn't mean they any interest at all in them. they jsut want to get in andout as soon as possible. in the stalls. with the walls ..
\

sheesh. never had this problem, but then again my boys were older. when we come with our grandson? I really don't give a flying .....what anyone thinks.... really. he will most likely go in the men's room with grandpa. if that isn't possible, he will go in the women's room with me
I hope any "little psyches" aren't permanently damaged...

One thing on the Disboard is always the same-

"It doesn't matter what you think, I am going to do what I want and I don't care how it affects anyone else." Now with the "mocking" of those with different opinions.

 

[Hannathy]

One thing on the Disboard is always the same-

"It doesn't matter what you think, I am going to do what I want and I don't care how it affects anyone else." Now with the "mocking" of those with different opinions.

So true, so true. As long as I'm happy the hell with everyone else!
Love the entitlement

 

[maxiesmom]

FWIW, I've often wondered what the issue is about the women's room. I mean, we ladies do all of our *business* in individual stalls. A boy of any age won't see anything, except the "vending machine". Now, girls in the men's room is a different story.....my only complaint about males in the ladies room is that they seem to have trouble remembering to put down the seat

Most restrooms do have huge gaps between the stall wall and the door. So yes, it is quite possible that a boy would see something. And quite frankly, I don't wish for anyone's 10+ aged child to be seeing me use the toilet.

If you are so sure something bad will happen to your child if you send them into the restroom alone, then bring them into your stall with you. If privacy is no big deal, and you are truly concerned for your child, that shouldn't be an issue at all. That is the only way to truly keep your child safe and unattended, and till lets the rest of us have our privacy.

 

[LvsTnk]

So true, so true. As long as I'm happy the hell with everyone else!
Love the entitlement

Yes, it's def the theme of our society today in every aspect. Even just driving down the street.

I feel bad that this is about something totally different than talking about people with special needs, which is what the orginal post was about. You think the world has come so far in understanding, but really it hasn't at all.
Some of the things said here...well whatever.

 

[Celine]

Ugh! I'm the OP and this whole thread is really making me feel like crap. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that anyone shouldn't feel the way they do, just that I feel sick to my stomach that I would be the cause of upsetting some of you while you are on this fabulous vacation. I see the threads where people come back from their trips raving about how wonderful it all was, BUT.. with the exception of this or that.. and I can see one of the "this or thats" being that some woman (me) brought a big lunky boy into the ladies room and it made them or their daughter/s very uncomfortable.

I promise to do my absolute most best to only use the companion restrooms.. but, I also know that if he has to go badly.. not only will he get EXTREMELY freaked out if I keep telling him "no, not yet" while hustling him around to find an appropriate bathroom, but he may end up making a mess on himself which will throw him into a complete emotional breakdown, not to mention, be incredibly difficult to clean up.. and I can't imagine him having to walk that way until we find a companion restroom.

Last time we were there (he was almost 9) he was still in diapers and this was a little easier to deal with.. a little. I mean, I still had the cleanups to deal with, but I'd long been used to it and we had our routine down. Now at 12 and a BIG boy at 12, it's so absolutely wonderful (miraculous even) that he finally uses the potty.. yet, there's the issue of WHERE since I have to be with him and that usually requires me bringing him into the ladies room.. and using the handicapped stall, if available.

Anyway, we'll see what happens and we'll definitely try to do the best we can not to make anyone feel uncomfortable... and I'll most definitely keep a map on me at all times with the companion restrooms circled in black marker!

 

[Hannathy]

I am one who doesn't like to see older boys in the ladies room BUT I'm talking about normal average boys, whose Moms are just paranoid and who let them stand in there waiting.

I and I think most people would understand your son's needs, that isn't who we are talking about.

One suggestion would be to take him straight into a stall and then directly out as soon as he is done, Don't let him stand there while you use a stall, be with him at all times. I think if you do that there would be very little problems and people would understand.

Is your DH not going to be with you? I see other boys in your picture, are they not going to be there either? I would have my DH take ihim and if he can't take him straight in like I suggested and then straight out and have him wait outside with your other kids while you go back in and use the facilities.

Good Luck, you also aren't one of the ones being discussed because you truly care about other peoples feelings, Thank You

 

[Celine]

I am one who doesn't like to see older boys in the ladies room BUT I'm talking about normal average boys, whose Moms are just paranoid and who let them stand in there waiting.

I and I think most people would understand your son's needs, that isn't who we are talking about.

One suggestion would be to take him straight into a stall and then directly out as soon as he is done, Don't let him stand there while you use a stall, be with him at all times. I think if you do that there would be very little problems and people would understand.

Is your DH not going to be with you? I see other boys in your picture, are they not going to be there either? I would have my DH take ihim and if he can't take him straight in like I suggested and then straight out and have him wait outside with your other kids while you go back in and use the facilities.

Good Luck, you also aren't one of the ones being discussed because you truly care about other peoples feelings, Thank You

No, ex-husband left long ago. My oldest is 17 (biggest guy in the picture) and I would never expect him to clean up his younger brother... that's mommy's job! The other younger two are my 10 yr old twins and they also are not expected to clean up their older brother. My son with special needs is the one being tickled by his little sister to get him to smile for the camera. This picture is like a year old and he's grown a lot, even since then.

Edited to add - Oh, and we always go into the stall together! I never just leave him standing out there while I go. He's not interested in anything I'm doing.. he's usually flicking his little piece of paper, he always carries, in front of his eyes and staring up at the lights, anyway! LOL

 

[Hannathy]

No, ex-husband left long ago. My oldest is 17 (biggest guy in the picture) and I would never expect him to clean up his younger brother... that's mommy's job! The other younger two are my 10 yr old twins and they also are not expected to clean up their older brother. My son with special needs is the one being tickled by his little sister to get him to smile for the camera. This picture is like a year old and he's grown a lot, even since then.

I sorta understand the total cleaning up (although at 17 I personally don't think it is too much to ask on special cases, my DD got her CNA and that is pretty much what they do 90%) but the older could take him in for being polite #1, or he could wait with him outside so you could bring him out as soon as he was done, while you go.

Good Luck and enjoy your trip, like I said it is obvious you will do your best to handle this with consideration for others and that is all you can do.

 

[Celine]

I sorta understand the total cleaning up (although at 17 I personally don't think it is too much to ask on special cases, my DD got her CNA and that is pretty much what they do 90%) but the older could take him in for being polite #1, or he could wait with him outside so you could bring him out as soon as he was done, while you go.

Good Luck and enjoy your trip, like I said it is obvious you will do your best to handle this with consideration for others and that is all you can do.

Oh yes!! We absolutely do that when we are all together! I just meant in our everyday lives when we are NOT all together, that I will take him into the stall with me.

 

[smidgy]

just to add, my grandson is 5 years old.

OP, yyou do what you need to do.. bless you for being such a good mom.

 

[Tiggernut_jadie]

Period? End of Story? Holy moly, why didn't anyone ever tell me?!?!?! The 10million times my children have entered and exited a public bathroom w/o harm must be all in my imagination! They must really have been killed in the first restroom they entered alone.

(^^ sorry no sarcasm font available)

I don't have to like your choices but I can tell you that you are wrong. Just like you can tell me I am wrong.

Only my kids know how to function in a public bathroom and rely on their own instincts and are learning what to do when a situation feels off to them. I'm not sure how 'helicoptered' kids are learning how to do that. (yes I just made up that word)


As to the OP, I'd either use the ladies room and use the handicapped stalls or if there was an available companion room nearby then I'd use that.

Ah but you're obviously not as good a parent as the PP! Only those who 'hover' are good parents!!!

As for the 'they can't see anything' folks...I can tell you from my own personal experience that they CAN see things...especially if they're looking! A few years ago I was in a stall at MK and needed to deal with a *ahem* time of the month issue. I was in the middle of doing so when I heard a loud 'uh yuck!' comment and looked up to see an eye peering at me through the crack in the toilet door. I admit I swore loudly at the person involved - who appeared to be an 11 or 12 year old boy. I finsished what I was doing quickly and opened the door to see a mother ushering this lad out of the toilets. I shouted to her but she virtually ran out of the door to get away as quickly as possible. I would have followed but I needed to wash my hands.

Now my DD will be 11 on this trip and has recently started her periods...whilst I was angry about my incident my DD would be beyond mortified if this was to happen to her with a boy of her own age...can you even imagine?!

I'm with Hannathy on this one - if your son is too old to go in the stall with you then he stays outside or uses the mens room!

To the OP - having said all of the above I work with people with special needs and completely understand your situation but your son is, imho, a completely different scenario from the one I described above...if I were to see a young man, flicking a peice of paper being escorted into the handicapped stall of the women's restroom by his mother I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

 

[TheAceOfAces]

As for the 'they can't see anything' folks...I can tell you from my own personal experience that they CAN see things...especially if they're looking! A few years ago I was in a stall at MK and needed to deal with a *ahem* time of the month issue. I was in the middle of doing so when I heard a loud 'uh yuck!' comment and looked up to see an eye peering at me through the crack in the toilet door. I admit I swore loudly at the person involved - who appeared to be an 11 or 12 year old boy. I finsished what I was doing quickly and opened the door to see a mother ushering this lad out of the toilets. I shouted to her but she virtually ran out of the door to get away as quickly as possible. I would have followed but I needed to wash my hands.

Now my DD will be 11 on this trip and has recently started her periods...whilst I was angry about my incident my DD would be beyond mortified if this was to happen to her with a boy of her own age...can you even imagine?!

Exactly! I've never understood people who think stalls actually provide some decent degree of privacy- they pretty much have windows built in, and most kids love to look in on people like little pervs. For whoever kept talking about the fact that home bathrooms aren't gender-segregated, this is exactly the reason why they don't need to be, since no one can watch you from outside a home bathroom, plus they aren't set up in such a way that allows kids to crawl in underneath the door, the way most stalls are. (And yes, I have observed this on numerous occasions- the kids think it's funny to "surprise" people by getting into their stall, and the parents just let them do it. This is more of an issue with littler kids, but any kids tend to put me on edge for something like that to happen.)
Some people who go to Disney aren't parents and therefore don't think badly-behaved kids (or any kids, really) are cute. Parents need to be considerate of the fact that such people may be present.

 

[dmccarty]

When we were last in Disney World, my developmentally disabled son was only 8 and I would take him into the ladies room with me with no problem. This time around, he's going to be 12 and looks even older, so I don't see being able to bring him into the ladies room with me again, this go round. Are there many "family" style restrooms in the park? Is there one by every regular M/F style??

Celine,

DO go read the Disabilities board. That board has been very educational for me.

I have seen grown women walk into the men's room at WDW. They were checking on their boys in the stalls. It was really the funny the first time I saw this. The mom was very nervous, but she needed to check, so she got up the courage, walked quickly in The Men's Bathroom, talked to her son, and danged near ran out.

Ya gotta do, what ya gotta do.

If you cannot find a companion bathroom, take your son into the men's bathroom. Any "man" offended by a mom helping her son has issues.

Ya gotta do, what ya gotta do.

Later,
Dan

 

[W.E.D.]

OP, we took my DSDs to WDW with Make A Wish. The companion, or family, restrooms are fairly well spaced around the parks. They were clean and large enough to fit a motorized wheelchair.

My only complaint would be watch out for the folks who think they have the right to use them whenever. We waited numerous times, almost to the point that my step-daughters had an accident, for ONE person to come out. Nice! If you're by yourself, please use the regular facilities!

 

[ses1230]

Ugh! I'm the OP and this whole thread is really making me feel like crap. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that anyone shouldn't feel the way they do, just that I feel sick to my stomach that I would be the cause of upsetting some of you while you are on this fabulous vacation. I see the threads where people come back from their trips raving about how wonderful it all was, BUT.. with the exception of this or that.. and I can see one of the "this or thats" being that some woman (me) brought a big lunky boy into the ladies room and it made them or their daughter/s very uncomfortable.

I promise to do my absolute most best to only use the companion restrooms.. but, I also know that if he has to go badly.. not only will he get EXTREMELY freaked out if I keep telling him "no, not yet" while hustling him around to find an appropriate bathroom, but he may end up making a mess on himself which will throw him into a complete emotional breakdown, not to mention, be incredibly difficult to clean up.. and I can't imagine him having to walk that way until we find a companion restroom.

Last time we were there (he was almost 9) he was still in diapers and this was a little easier to deal with.. a little. I mean, I still had the cleanups to deal with, but I'd long been used to it and we had our routine down. Now at 12 and a BIG boy at 12, it's so absolutely wonderful (miraculous even) that he finally uses the potty.. yet, there's the issue of WHERE since I have to be with him and that usually requires me bringing him into the ladies room.. and using the handicapped stall, if available.

Anyway, we'll see what happens and we'll definitely try to do the best we can not to make anyone feel uncomfortable... and I'll most definitely keep a map on me at all times with the companion restrooms circled in black marker!

I'm sorry you feel that way, this is one of those topics that frequently gets out of hand. You are the parent and you know what is best for your son - please don't feel badly. I suggest again to visit the DISabilities forum, I'm sure it will be helpful! Have a great trip - I see that it is coming soon!

 

[deegack]

I'm sorry you feel that way, this is one of those topics that frequently gets out of hand. You are the parent and you know what is best for your son - please don't feel badly. I suggest again to visit the DISabilities forum, I'm sure it will be helpful! Have a great trip - I see that it is coming soon!

Also if you don't already pick up a disabilities map when entering the park. They have the companion restrooms listed and the othe maps don't always.

 

[LisaBi]

Ugh! I'm the OP and this whole thread is really making me feel like crap.

Celine - Don't let it get you down. Only YOU know what your child needs and how to handle the situation to avoid ruining the day for your family. When you need to take him into the ladies room, walk in with the confidence that you know what is right for you and don't worry about what anyone else may think.

 

[zaksmom]

Celine - Don't let it get you down. Only YOU know what your child needs and how to handle the situation to avoid ruining the day for your family. When you need to take him into the ladies room, walk in with the confidence that you know what is right for you and don't worry about what anyone else may think.

Amen.