"Family" restrooms??

[delmar411]

Well, now I think you guys are going a bit overboard. A restroom is not a safe place for a child ALONE. Period, end of story. If my husband is there he goes with him. I know at this point (he is 11) he won't go in the ladies room and I would NEVER force him. So it is either with his father or in the family restroom.

You don't have to like my choices. Protecting our children is what we are supposed to do.

Period? End of Story? Holy moly, why didn't anyone ever tell me?!?!?! The 10million times my children have entered and exited a public bathroom w/o harm must be all in my imagination! They must really have been killed in the first restroom they entered alone.

(^^ sorry no sarcasm font available)

I don't have to like your choices but I can tell you that you are wrong. Just like you can tell me I am wrong.

Only my kids know how to function in a public bathroom and rely on their own instincts and are learning what to do when a situation feels off to them. I'm not sure how 'helicoptered' kids are learning how to do that. (yes I just made up that word)


As to the OP, I'd either use the ladies room and use the handicapped stalls or if there was an available companion room nearby then I'd use that.

 

[LisaBi]

To OP: My son, who is now 18, is also developmentally delayed. It has only been the last three years or so I'm even somewhat comfortable with him going in alone. When you combine the potential safety issues and the self-care abilities...... There is also the situation where I needed to use the facilities and didn't want to leave him outside alone. At the airport, I still make him stand at least right on the edge of the door way into the ladies room.

As far as the companion restrooms at WDW: they do seem to be hard to find. If your son is like mine, you may often not have time to find a companion restroom once he makes you aware that needs to use the restroom. Then you have no choice but to take him into the ladies room.

I've gotten nasty stares in the ladies room. I've also had to have a CM clear out a men's room and then stand guard while I went in to help. I'll take the nasty stares over having to go into the men's room any day of the week.

My opinion: at age 12 with delays, and no companion restroom available, I would not have no qualms taking him into the ladies room.

 

[Wadecool]

Well, now I think you guys are going a bit overboard. A restroom is not a safe place for a child ALONE. Period, end of story. If my husband is there he goes with him. I know at this point (he is 11) he won't go in the ladies room and I would NEVER force him. So it is either with his father or in the family restroom.

You don't have to like my choices. Protecting our children is what we are supposed to do.

You are certainly entitled to your own opinion. Ultimately however, that's all it is. Period, end of story.

 

[Mom2aJessieGirl]

Honestly if I see a woman bring in a boy older than the norm, I assume he needs assistance or that he's disabled somehow. If all else fails and someone makes a rude comment, just tell them he'd disabled. Personally I wouldn't be bothered at all - provided your son isn't peeking through door gaps or under the stall walls.

I am an adult and can keep my mouth shut (and my mind open), but I doubt that my DD5 would. She would probably ask "why is there a teenage boy in the ladies room?"

To which I would say, "I don't know," hoping that her line of questions would stop there.

 

[LvsTnk]

I am an adult and can keep my mouth shut (and my mind open), but I doubt that my DD5 would. She would probably ask "why is there a teenage boy in the ladies room?"

To which I would say, "I don't know," hoping that her line of questions would stop there.

It's actually a chance for you to explain that some people have special needs
and may need help. Isn't she lucky she doesn't need any.

 

[freepixie]

I commend you for taking him in with you! I would not be offended one bit if I was in the restroom and you brought him in. Now I understand that your son has disabilities, but I would take my son when he was about 10 in the ladies room. Oh well, he isn't scoping out ladies he was going to the bathroom.

My reason is there was a 12 yr old who was on vacation with his family. He had to go to the restroom so of course he went into the mens room alone. He never came out, there was a guy with a knife in there and stabbed the poor kid to death.

That has stuck in my mind since it was in the paper and if my husband isn't there it is either family bathroom or he is coming in with me.

Well, now I think you guys are going a bit overboard. A restroom is not a safe place for a child ALONE. Period, end of story. If my husband is there he goes with him. I know at this point (he is 11) he won't go in the ladies room and I would NEVER force him. So it is either with his father or in the family restroom.

You don't have to like my choices. Protecting our children is what we are supposed to do.

I feel bad people are jumping you on this, I totally understand and appreciate how you feel, even though I am not a mother yet, I respect you are your decisions.

Its difficult when you are on vacation somewhere, you don't know the area, the restrooms, situations, etc.

Here locally, we have a beautiful state park with 10 beaches on the lake. Outsiders coming in have no idea that Beach #1 is notorious for sexual assults in the restrooms and nearby wooded areas. Those of us who are locals avoid Beach #1 like the plague, but we have visitors from all over who would have no idea!! Before people start jumping all over me, the authorities know about it, they have cameras outside the restrooms, but unfortunately these things keep happening.

So I can very much understand how a parent would feel! I know not every restroom is danger looming within, but when you are in a place that is unfamiliar, its best to err on the side of caution

 

[WantToGoNow]

It's actually a chance for you to explain that some people have special needs
and may need help. Isn't she lucky she doesn't need any.

But not all of the boys in the women's room has special needs - some are just there because they aren't allowed to use the men's room.

 

[smidgy]

aboutthe only time I concerned myself with what other people were doing in the restroom was back in college.. the "lounging" days in the 70's. whe you had to go Really Bad! and Finally, the door would open and it would reek of perfume and 6 girls were taking up the bathroom forever "redoing" their make up, etc.!

therefore, I would have a problem with a bunch of young people exiting the companion restroom. cause they didn't want to wait in the regular restrooms.

for whatever reason someone feels the need to take their child of the opposite gender into the restroom with them..
um.. WHAT DO I CARE?. really.. lighten up..

once, at the pool at Pop Century I think... i encountered 2 little girls.. one about 7 and one about 2-3. the younger one had a .. MESS! and the older one didn't know what to do. I asked where mommy was. the answer: taking a nap in the room, we are with daddy. I told the oldest to go get daddy... and started cleaning up the little one.

daddy came in in about 2 minutes. thanked me. he thought he shouldnt bring them in the men's room, and thought HE shouldnt go in the Womens room, and thought they would be ok. (and poor mommy needed a well deserved nap) and din't know the little one would have an.. um... incident...

now, if I had walked into the women's room by the pool.. and seen a grown man there with his 2 daughters... I would have thought.. "ok mom's taking a break, what a great dad!" ... how in the world would even the DAD's presense bother me???? since ther are stalls?

again.. lighten up

 

[Hannathy]

Well, now I think you guys are going a bit overboard. A restroom is not a safe place for a child ALONE. Period, end of story. If my husband is there he goes with him. I know at this point (he is 11) he won't go in the ladies room and I would NEVER force him. So it is either with his father or in the family restroom.

You don't have to like my choices. Protecting our children is what we are supposed to do.

But not smothering them! For heavens sake 11 they belong in the mens room. Give the poor guy some privacy and dignity. I couldn't imagine going into the bathroom with my 11 yr old son.

Like someone said when do you stop? when he starts going on dates?, driving? High school.

Grown women aren't the only ones in the bathroom, younger girls are also there and it is not fair to them to have to have older boys in there with them. Plus there have been a lot of incidents of bolder boys assaulting young girls so why should I risk my DD when I allow her to grow up and go to the bathroom alone?

 

[Hannathy]

My reason is there was a 12 yr old who was on vacation with his family. He had to go to the restroom so of course he went into the mens room alone. He never came out, there was a guy with a knife in there and stabbed the poor kid to death.

That has stuck in my mind since it was in the paper and if my husband isn't there it is either family bathroom or he is coming in with me.

Oh please don't tell me this is the incident from the beach bathroom which was late at night in a open public beach area and had to be at least 20 years ago!!! That is how rare it is the same old story from years and years ago keeps getting dredged up.

I looked it up it was 13 yrs ago, so I was wrong about the 20 but 13 is also a long time ago to keep getting referenced.

 

[Mom2aJessieGirl]

It's actually a chance for you to explain that some people have special needs and may need help. Isn't she lucky she doesn't need any.

Why yes, we are very fortunate that she can use the restroom without assistance. I do NOT take that lightly as we have close friends that are not in the same situation.

But not all of the boys in the women's room has special needs - some are just there because they aren't allowed to use the men's room.

This is exactly what I was referring to. I'm afraid I would just think that the parents were a bit overprotective. A twelve y/o qualifies for 7th Grade in my area. A 7th Grader has no business in an opposite-sex restoom, IMHO.

Even the special needs pre-teens I have had the pleasure of knowing over the years would be uncomfortable in an opposite-sex restroom. (Not saying that the OP's or anyone else's child is in the exact same situation...each kiddo is not the same, and that's a good thing! ) This is one of many reasons that there are companion restrooms.

 

[smidgy]

who cares? In Chicago, we had similar stories floating around about the old Riverview Amusement Park (NOT a theme park!!) for years.. like the black widow spider in the "tunnel of love", etc.

I DO know I sent my 8 year old son into the men's bathroom at Wrigley field.. way back in the 80's... and it was very confusing to him and it took about an hour for us to find each other again

yes, we survived...
however, I would have no problem at all with a woman with her son in the "women's restroom" sheesh.. if you go to a party at a friend's house, do they "suddenly" have men's and women's rest rooms?

now, if I were I man, I might have a problem with a father bringing a daughter into the men's room. cause of the urinals.

if someone feels like they want to bring their kid intop the restroom with them, and there are privacy stalls for you. why would it bother you at all?

 

[Mom2aJessieGirl]

You don't have to like my choices. Protecting our children is what we are supposed to do.

In addition to protecting them, we are supposed to equip them with the tools needed to cope with day to day life. (Assuming there are no disabilities, of course)...That includes using the restroom in a public place. Sorry.

 

[Hannathy]

In addition to protecting them, we are supposed to equip them with the tools needed to cope with day to day life. (Assuming there are no disabilities, of course)...That includes using the restroom in a public place. Sorry.

100% agree

 

[Karlzmom]

FWIW, I've often wondered what the issue is about the women's room. I mean, we ladies do all of our *business* in individual stalls. A boy of any age won't see anything, except the "vending machine". Now, girls in the men's room is a different story.....my only complaint about males in the ladies room is that they seem to have trouble remembering to put down the seat

 

[LvsTnk]

I can't believe I'm reading some of this oh well explains alot.

I'm just wondering how you all know about a person's level of disability or if they have one at all.
By the sign they wear around their neck.

 

[Love Tink]

if someone feels like they want to bring their kid intop the restroom with them, and there are privacy stalls for you. why would it bother you at all?

Honestly, I wouldn't be concerned that the kid is going to literally watch me use the bathroom - but I would be worried about the kid's future and what he is learning by being taken into a women's room as a preteen. (Speaking, of course, of non-disabled boys.) By that age, a respect for the need for privacy, especially between sexes, should be understood. Delaying that understanding, or acting like it doesn't exist, could cause a lot of confusion for a young boy.

And yes, at what age are you going to start teaching your child self-reliance?

I have three sons. The youngest is five and wouldn't be caught dead in a women's room. If one of his older brothers or his dad isn't around, I send him into the men's room and stand outside the door. If he takes too long, I crack the door and call for him.

I guess we've just been lucky so far, not to run into any knife-wielding psychos.

 

[LvsTnk]

FWIW, I've often wondered what the issue is about the women's room. I mean, we ladies do all of our *business* in individual stalls. A boy of any age won't see anything, except the "vending machine". Now, girls in the men's room is a different story.....my only complaint about males in the ladies room is that they seem to have trouble remembering to put down the seat

 

[smidgy]

I shouldn't even be IN this debate.

when we brought our sons they were 10 and 13/ and then 12 AND15.
To be honest with you,. I dnt' even remember any bathroom "incidents".
so I can only assume they went into the men's room. with our without hubby.


I am just trying to be supportive of people who don't have it so easy. single moms with young boys. families with disabilites. etc. etc
\
just trying to say: what is the BIG deal if you go into the ladie's restroom, and there is a boy there? there are not boys and girls restrooms in any homes anyway!

in any situation, whywould you want to make the child with the disability, ie. special problem feel even more uncomfortable than he/she already does.?

if your own child is uncomfprtable with a male in the "room" just take them aside, explain that not everyone was created the same way, and use it as a learnign experience.

 

[Hannathy]

just trying to say: what is the BIG deal if you go into the ladie's restroom, and there is a boy there? there are not boys and girls restrooms in any homes anyway!


if your own child is uncomfprtable with a male in the "room" just take them aside, explain that not everyone was created the same way, and use it as a learnign experience.

WE don't usually go into the bathroom together at peoples or our own home.

My DD and I do believe any girl would not have a problem with a boy with a special need being in the bathroom it is the too old boys without any special needs except a Mom who won't let them grow up that the problem arises. And it isn't the little girls it is the 11,12,13 yr olds who know what special needs are but don't like staring at a boy of their own age and having them stare back at them.

I always say if you have to take your son into the women's room take them into your stall, if they are too old for this then they are too old to be in the bathroom.