My SIL Exposed My Mom to Covid

[PrincessShmoo]

This isn't a thread about etymology. Come on. NO ONE just assumed that poster was talking about the middle ages. We are discussing the adjustment to the covid quarantine. Context matters.

Well, when I read "the first quarantine was 40 days" I knew what it meant. I understood that poster was making the point that that was where the word came from.

 

[apinknightmare]

How could we have known that they were referring to the middle ages!?

We're talking about COVID here. "Everyone seems to forget that the original quarantine was 40 days long.. " Everyone seems to forget the origin of quarantine is from the middle ages and it's 40 days long? I mean I love history and all but nope had no idea.

Raise your hand if you knew that!...okay maybe you did (and total respect if you did) but I don't really know how that would have been been able to figure out they were pulling some extremely obscure history fact up from the way the conversation was going unless I googled "quarantine 40 days" or something like that and found out that way. It sounded very much like they were saying the quarantine for COVID was originally 40 days. Plus they followed up that statement with "Also, did you know that the real reason they chose 6ft for social distancing was because they knew it would be impossible to enforce the true distance required to keep us safe? We really should be 12/13 feet apart but that’s doesn’t work for the “real” world so they went with 6 ft."

All of their comment was related to COVID but apparently this random middle ages trivia. It's my "know something new today" so I guess there's that.

Pardon my slight sarcasm please it's not aimed at any one person just general here.

I didn't have to look it up because @PrincessShmoo posted the definition and the origin of the word at the bottom of page 8 where everyone could see it, and after reading it the OP's post made perfect sense.

The "random Middle Ages trivia" was related to COVID, because it was part of their comment about how people aren't following 14-day quarantine timelines, so they're being lowered in hopes that they will follow a shorter quarantine (when by definition quarantine means 40 days, so the recommended timelines are already much shorter than that). It tied in with the part of their quote that you posted about the "true distance required to keep us safe" - which according to them is shorter than it should be in hopes that people will stick with it.

 

[Heigh-Ho]

I didn't have to look it up because @PrincessShmoo posted the definition and the origin of the word at the bottom of page 8 where everyone could see it, and after reading it the OP's post made perfect sense.

The "random Middle Ages trivia" was related to COVID, because it was part of their comment about how people aren't following 14-day quarantine timelines, so they're being lowered in hopes that they will follow a shorter quarantine (when by definition quarantine means 40 days, so the recommended timelines are already much shorter than that). It tied in with the part of their quote that you posted about the "true distance required to keep us safe" - which according to them is shorter than it should be in hopes that people will stick with it.

I didn't say you looked it up This is turning into a weird conversation so it's time to move on for me. Kudos to all who knew exactly what the person meant. You're smarter than some of us here and I'm sure that makes you (not you you general you) feel better

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Google is great (and I go there a ton) but sometimes it can come off in a not so nice way to just plug in the dictionary definition in a comment and call it good (I feel like I've done that before myself so I'm likely guilty of it). In being honest I could have looked up the dictionary definition of quarantine but I don't think I would have understood what they meant with respects to the modern era because we never did, weren't advised (to my knowledge) to quarantine for 40 days for COVID so me being me with everything I just wouldn't see the relevance to the topic. Yes 40 days is more than 14 days and 10 days is less than 14 days and 7 days is less than 14 days or 10 days (depending on test or no test) but because 40 days never entered the conversation during this pandemic (to my knowledge) I just wouldn't have made the connection the person was making. That's me being completely honest here in giving my comprehension.

Haven't we all written something that wasn't very clear to everyone? I think that more than one person was questioning what they meant means this might have been the case. It happens even if others knew exactly what they meant. I've done this myself probably a lot and it's not done intentionally. So maybe let's just call a truce; no one is smarter or dumber than the other having not understood what was being talked about. With that said this is one interesting tangent to this thread to say the least lol. It may not be legendary but it's probably a memorable one for a while at least

 

[TLSnell1981]

Yes, I understand that. Like I wrote, I'm not the OP. The argument isn't mine, I just understood the point they were making when it seemed like quite a few didn't.

I was actually responding to the portion of your post.."and how sad it is that these days its difficult to get people to quarantine for fourteen days..."

And I believe probably everyone understands. We shouldn't come in close contact with anyone if we have ANY contagious disease. That's common sense.

 

[apinknightmare]

I was actually responding to the portion of your post.."and how sad it is that these days its difficult to get people to quarantine for fourteen days..."

And I believe probably everyone understands. We shouldn't come in close contact with anyone if we have ANY contagious disease. That's common sense.

Again, that was the OP's point, not mine. They wrote that people not complying with quarantine was "sad and pathetic."

It should also be common sense to not come into close contact with someone if you've been exposed to a contagious disease and don't yet know if you have it, but given some of the stories on this thread, apparently not.

 

[RamblingMad]

COVID is serious. I wish people would take it more seriously. I had Thanksgiving over Zoom, which sucked. But it was better than exposing anyone.

 

[KPeterso]

COVID is serious. I wish people would take it more seriously. I had Thanksgiving over Zoom, which sucked. But it was better than exposing anyone.

I completely agree! I have been masking and distancing since March. I have not seen any friends or most of my family since February. I have serious Covid fatigue, but I will stay the path. I just hope others start doing so. My area of CA will be back in pretty much a shutdown in the next week most likely. I want to see my friends and family. And I really want to go back to working in my office instead of at home!

 

[smokeyblue]

Well. The saga continues. My brother is still home with O2 and meds. Last night brother and SIL ask my mom to bring them dinner. My mom goes in their freaking house and not one person is wearing a mask. My mom said, well it was only 5 minutes.

So it gets even better. Mom calls me tonight and says that since SIL has to quarantine that she needs to bring my brother to his doctors appointment on Tuesday. I insisted she not do so, I told her that SIL can bring him as she had to stay in the car anyway. She argued they'd both wear masks. Yeah, I'm sure my brother who can barely breathe will wear a mask during a 30 minute car ride. I told her she was 66 years old that she was putting herself at risk. She told me I was talking to her like a 2 year old and that she'd talk to me when I was more rational.

Am I being unreasonable? I know there has been changing guidelines, but I think she's putting herself in undue risk. She isn't a denier or anti-masker and complains about other people not doing the right thing. My number one concern is that she gets sick and the possible ensuing fallout. The hospitals are pretty much maxed our here and you are on your own if your sick. Who would take care of her? I depend on my income alone and have comorbidities and getting sick could be catastrophic. We've already missed Thanksgiving. It seems like Christmas isn't far behind being cancelled in my family. At this point it's been a month since I've seen my mom and now that she's exposed herself again the clock starts again.

I have an older friend who had seven siblings and talked about dealing with her widowed mother. She told me a mom can raise 8 children but 8 kids can't take care of one mother. Ain't that the truth!

 

[PrincessShmoo]

Well. The saga continues. My brother is still home with O2 and meds. Last night brother and SIL ask my mom to bring them dinner. My mom goes in their freaking house and not one person is wearing a mask. My mom said, well it was only 5 minutes.

So it gets even better. Mom calls me tonight and says that since SIL has to quarantine that she needs to bring my brother to his doctors appointment on Tuesday. I insisted she not do so, I told her that SIL can bring him as she had to stay in the car anyway. She argued they'd both wear masks. Yeah, I'm sure my brother who can barely breathe will wear a mask during a 30 minute car ride. I told her she was 66 years old that she was putting herself at risk. She told me I was talking to her like a 2 year old and that she'd talk to me when I was more rational.

Am I being unreasonable? I know there has been changing guidelines, but I think she's putting herself in undue risk. She isn't a denier or anti-masker and complains about other people not doing the right thing. My number one concern is that she gets sick and the possible ensuing fallout. The hospitals are pretty much maxed our here and you are on your own if your sick. Who would take care of her? I depend on my income alone and have comorbidities and getting sick could be catastrophic. We've already missed Thanksgiving. It seems like Christmas isn't far behind being cancelled in my family. At this point it's been a month since I've seen my mom and now that she's exposed herself again the clock starts again.

I have an older friend who had seven siblings and talked about dealing with her widowed mother. She told me a mom can raise 8 children but 8 kids can't take care of one mother. Ain't that the truth!

You are not being unreasonable. I would also be telling my mother (in a similar position) NOT to go out. As an older person, I totally get that us older folks just want "things to be normal" or close to it. "Being with family" seems to outweigh "people outside your home" in many cases.

We're having issues with my MIL (92 and in nursing home). She just can't grasp that we can't "just come up and take me to lunch/the store/any other place that normally we'd take her to" just because "we're family".

 

[focusondisney]

Well. The saga continues. My brother is still home with O2 and meds. Last night brother and SIL ask my mom to bring them dinner. My mom goes in their freaking house and not one person is wearing a mask. My mom said, well it was only 5 minutes.

So it gets even better. Mom calls me tonight and says that since SIL has to quarantine that she needs to bring my brother to his doctors appointment on Tuesday. I insisted she not do so, I told her that SIL can bring him as she had to stay in the car anyway. She argued they'd both wear masks. Yeah, I'm sure my brother who can barely breathe will wear a mask during a 30 minute car ride. I told her she was 66 years old that she was putting herself at risk. She told me I was talking to her like a 2 year old and that she'd talk to me when I was more rational.

Am I being unreasonable? I know there has been changing guidelines, but I think she's putting herself in undue risk. She isn't a denier or anti-masker and complains about other people not doing the right thing. My number one concern is that she gets sick and the possible ensuing fallout. The hospitals are pretty much maxed our here and you are on your own if your sick. Who would take care of her? I depend on my income alone and have comorbidities and getting sick could be catastrophic. We've already missed Thanksgiving. It seems like Christmas isn't far behind being cancelled in my family. At this point it's been a month since I've seen my mom and now that she's exposed herself again the clock starts again.

I have an older friend who had seven siblings and talked about dealing with her widowed mother. She told me a mom can raise 8 children but 8 kids can't take care of one mother. Ain't that the truth!

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. But I think you have reached the limit of what you can do. Your mother, at 66, isn’t an old, incompetent person. I say this as a 63 year old still working RN. At 66 she is fully capable of understanding the consequences of her actions. She isn’t going to listen or change her actions based on anything you say. Sadly, she very well may get sick. I hope your SIL will man up & take care of her. And yes, she is being a denier of sorts. She is like so many other people who figured being with their family members was safe (ex... how many people had family for Thanksgiving & are now getting sick).

If she is determined to take him, maybe suggest windows open in the car. I’d want hers open more than his... so she is getting more fresh air & his breath & droplets aren’t getting blown her way. I don’t think driving with eye goggles or a face shield would be safe, but maybe your brother could wear a face shield over his mask as an extra layer of protection.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

You're not being unreasonable you're being concerned for a loved one but I agree with focusondisney. My in-laws are at that age of your mother and my mom nearly there. They are adults and capable of making their own choices even if they are a tad misguided. If it were my grandmother who was in not the most stable of minds towards her end that would have been different but from the sounds of it your mom is just like my in-laws. I think people are quick to label someone a denier (and I know you were saying she's not one at all). Much of it is just risk analysis being off. Assuming an activity is safe or safer because of this or that but in reality it's not. I don't know if it would work but maybe suggest things she can do, things that would make whatever situation she's in less risky rather than a harder position. That might appeal more to her senses than her getting bristled or brushing off. You probably wouldn't want to be parented at this point in your life she probably doesn't want to feel like that either. It's a tricky spot for you to be in no doubt about it.

 

[mom2rtk]

Oh come on now. You know you aren't being unreasonable.

Time to hunker down and distance yourself from the lot of them.

 

[smokeyblue]

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. But I think you have reached the limit of what you can do. Your mother, at 66, isn’t an old, incompetent person. I say this as a 63 year old still working RN. At 66 she is fully capable of understanding the consequences of her actions. She isn’t going to listen or change her actions based on anything you say. Sadly, she very well may get sick. I hope your SIL will man up & take care of her. And yes, she is being a denier of sorts. She is like so many other people who figured being with their family members was safe (ex... how many people had family for Thanksgiving & are now getting sick).

If she is determined to take him, maybe suggest windows open in the car. I’d want hers open more than his... so she is getting more fresh air & his breath & droplets aren’t getting blown her way. I don’t think driving with eye goggles or a face shield would be safe, but maybe your brother could wear a face shield over his mask as an extra layer of protection.

Yes. You are right. She's not incompetent nor unable to understand consequences. We have a bull-headed gene that comes from her side of the family and we are all afflicted with it and most of all her! I just wish I had inherited the angry cleaning gene that her and my aunt have so I could work out my feelings on a much needed deep clean for my house.

 

[smokeyblue]

Oh come on now. You know you aren't being unreasonable.

Time to hunker down and distance yourself from the lot of them.

Yes. My only mistake is that I reacted instead of just taking a breath and calmly suggesting SIL take him instead.

I fully intend to stay away. Been using mom's washer since mine is toast. I'm going to be remodeling my spare bathroom into a laundry/bath and the unit I want won't fit in the current laundry area so I wanted to wait to buy. I just went online and bought a washer from Lowes to be delivered next week so I can avoid mom's and the laundromat. I'm sure I'll be able to sell or donate it when I'm done. Or maybe two laundry areas will be a selling point when if I ever sell.

 

[Mango7100]

Well. The saga continues. My brother is still home with O2 and meds. Last night brother and SIL ask my mom to bring them dinner. My mom goes in their freaking house and not one person is wearing a mask. My mom said, well it was only 5 minutes.

So it gets even better. Mom calls me tonight and says that since SIL has to quarantine that she needs to bring my brother to his doctors appointment on Tuesday. I insisted she not do so, I told her that SIL can bring him as she had to stay in the car anyway. She argued they'd both wear masks. Yeah, I'm sure my brother who can barely breathe will wear a mask during a 30 minute car ride. I told her she was 66 years old that she was putting herself at risk. She told me I was talking to her like a 2 year old and that she'd talk to me when I was more rational.

Am I being unreasonable? I know there has been changing guidelines, but I think she's putting herself in undue risk. She isn't a denier or anti-masker and complains about other people not doing the right thing. My number one concern is that she gets sick and the possible ensuing fallout. The hospitals are pretty much maxed our here and you are on your own if your sick. Who would take care of her? I depend on my income alone and have comorbidities and getting sick could be catastrophic. We've already missed Thanksgiving. It seems like Christmas isn't far behind being cancelled in my family. At this point it's been a month since I've seen my mom and now that she's exposed herself again the clock starts again.

I have an older friend who had seven siblings and talked about dealing with her widowed mother. She told me a mom can raise 8 children but 8 kids can't take care of one mother. Ain't that the truth!

Why is your brother and SIL asking your mom to bring them dinner when they know they have active COVID in the house??? Is your SIL sick now too or just in quarantine? She can’t make a box of Mac n cheese or heat some canned soup? If we were sick in our house with COViD, there is no way I would ever let anyone set foot in our house unless both adults were incapitated and someone had to get our kid. If they truly needed dinner, they should have said drop it off on the porch and not opened the door. It was your moms decision to go in, but they should be more responsible too since it sounds like they know your mom will do whatever they say. And you are not being unreasonable IMO...

 

[smokeyblue]

Why is your brother and SIL asking your mom to bring them dinner when they know they have active COVID in the house??? Is your SIL sick now too or just in quarantine? She can’t make a box of Mac n cheese or heat some canned soup? If we were sick in our house with COViD, there is no way I would ever let anyone set foot in our house unless both adults were incapitated and someone had to get our kid. If they truly needed dinner, they should have said drop it off on the porch and not opened the door. It was your moms decision to go in, but they should be more responsible too since it sounds like they know your mom will do whatever they say. And you are not being unreasonable IMO...

SIL is not sick. Just isolating. Mom was keen on getting take-out too so that wasn't too big of an issue, but infuriating that they didn't encourage her to leave it in their enclosed porch. My brother never thinks of others first. My mom will just say "oh well, what was I supposed to do?" when she does something that's not safe/smart and its usually involving her generosity.

 

[DLgal]

SIL is not sick. Just isolating. Mom was keen on getting take-out too so that wasn't too big of an issue, but infuriating that they didn't encourage her to leave it in their enclosed porch. My brother never thinks of others first. My mom will just say "oh well, what was I supposed to do?" when she does something that's not safe/smart and its usually involving her generosity.

Has your mom been tested yet? If no, why not?

Testing will quickly determine her own status so you can stop worrying (or worry more).

Your brother is no longer contagious at this point, from the timeline you have given. Your SIL is likely past the point of infectivity as well.

 

[smokeyblue]

Has your mom been tested yet? If no, why not?

Testing will quickly determine her own status so you can stop worrying (or worry more).

Your brother is no longer contagious at this point, from the timeline you have given. Your SIL is likely past the point of infectivity as well.

SIL has been tested positive. Mom has not tested. I guess I've been reading conflicting info. Earlier I read that you were still contagious if symptomatic, but now I just read something that said that after 10 days the virus you may shed is unlikely to replicate making it not contagious.

 

[DLgal]

SIL has been tested positive. Mom has not tested. I guess I've been reading conflicting info. Earlier I read that you were still contagious if symptomatic, but now I just read something that said that after 10 days the virus you may shed is unlikely to replicate making it not contagious.

Mom needs a test, like yesterday. Tell her to go get one and don't see her until she has results.