Suggestions on How to Get my Mother to Eat?

[Moxiepup]

This might sound kind of out there, but if it's something that can help your mother, then I think it's worth a shot...
Have you considered medical marijuana? Marijuana is a known appetite stimulant, and if it makes your mother feel good, then all the better. Some folks might not like the thought of this because of the social stigma attached to it, but if it's able to help, then that's all that matters. If it works for her, then it is medicine and it's granting you more time together.
Best wishes to you and your mom!

 

[klmall]

Sympathy also! She is obviously depressed which quite a few seniors are nowadays.

My FIL was much the same when it came to eating. He was over 80 and step-mother-in-law couldn't get him to eat much of anything. Not eating was a big family discussion topic in FIL's house whenever he was out of the room. He stopped wanting to eat in general but she got him to drink Ensure in a couple flavors he did like. Also his primary physician prescribed that he drink Ensure and talked sternly about it with him. Since he was of the "everything a doctor says is gospel" generation that did impress him somewhat.

Because the cans were small he felt he could finish one or two a day. She even started gradually adding protein powder (without his knowledge) to each can before serving to him in a glass. Whenever they went out somewhere to shop or eat etc. she also asked for a milkshake for herself and got him to drink one too.

Step-mother-in-law sometimes thought he was not eating to get more attention from her and others and he may have but most of the time we simply felt that he had little appetite even for his favorite foods. I don't think he was truly depressed although he gradually lost interest in most things but he probably could have used some anti-depressant meds in his final years to see if his appetite improved.

Good luck and let us know how things go over the next months.

 

[MIGrandma]

Has she had her teeth checked lately? Maybe it is painful for her to eat, which is why she prefers the shakes. I'd bring her some Ensure or Boost in different flavors and see if that can tempt her to at least get some calories in her.

I'm sorry, it is so hard dealing with elderly parents when you don't know what to do.

I take her to the dentist every 6 months, she was just there for a cleaning in April and had no cavities...and still has all her own natural teeth.

Hugs to you as you move forward dealing with this.

I used to rep one of the lesser known anti-depressants. It was ideal for elderly depressed patients just like your mom. It treated the depression while increasing the appetite. I would talk to the doctor and see if her can recommend something that will fit both needs.

She was on a depression medication that was supposed to increase her appetite and it did. They took her off it after several months to see how she would do, and when she started going backwards they put her back on it. Not sure if her recent infection, and being on an antibiotic did more damage to her already lack of an appetite or not. She says she feels better, but just isn't interested in eating much. She has never been a big eater, the most she ever weighed was 112 when she gave birth to me. It was so encouraging to see her get back up to 87 (from 68) but now it's so discouraging seeing her go backwards again, and not knowing what to do about it. When I spoke to the nurse today she was going to call the doctor and see what he suggests. I'm going up to visit her tomorrow so will stop and talk to the nurse then, and see what he said, and if they could possibly change her medication, or add another, to help her.

 

[QueenIsabella]

To be honest, I don't know if there's a lot you CAN do. It seems like you and her medical team are putting a great deal of effort into finding the proper medications, enticing foods, and so forth. If she knows she should eat more, but doesn't, and would refuse a feeding tube, there's not much more to be done. I would keep offering different foods, but it seems like even the foods she once loved, no longer interest her. I'm sorry you're going through this. She may just feel that it's time to go. Certainly, keep trying what you can, but maybe start to accept that this is her choice, and she doesn't seem to want to change her actions.

 

[DisBabe94]

Another vote for medical marijuana here. It will lift her mood, and stimulate her appetite. Do some research online on getting a medical marijuana card in your state. You may be hesitant to even consider this, but please just do a little bit of research. It is medicine and can be taken without any psychoactive effects whatsoever. Look up CBD oil.

Something I wanted to mention, I know my grandma had a really hard time turning 80. She just had this image in her head that being 80 is the beginning of the end and that she was "useless" now. Maybe your Mom is having a similar reaction, and that on top of everything else might be keeping her down. Just a thought.

Hoping the best for you, OP

 

[piccolopat]

Sometimes just being in a nursing home will cause people to just give up. If there is any way that you can bring her home and get an in-home nurse that might help. I don't know how far away you live but could you bring her home for dinner a few times a week? The change of scenery might help.

 

[Pumbaa_]

My personal motto is we all have a shelf life. Some are short some are long some you see some you do not

I realize you want your mom to live forever. But at 80, maybe she is tired and ready. Which absolutely is her right

You are doing all you can to entice her and make sure there are no underlying medical issues. Hugs and the best to both of you

 

[Pea-n-Me]

There are a lot of good suggestions on this thread. I think you need to talk to her doctor yourself and ask why her anti-depressant was stopped. There may have been a medical reason for it. I would also ask for either a psychiatric or gerontological evaluation (by doctors board certified in those specialties) asap as they may have a lot more insight into what's going on and how to treat it, if possible. (And I would take her myself if they say they can't accomodate that. And actually, I think I'd favor a gerontologist.) Ask about Marinol (good suggestion). Bring her favorite foods in daily, if possible. (Very small portions, obviously.) Continue with the shakes if she likes those - I would probably keep some in the freezer there with her name on them so they can offer them daily. I agree the recent infection may have thrown things off a bit for her. And I also agree, having cared for many, many elderly people over the years as well as having a 92 year old mother myself (who's been giving me a run for my money lately), that there are times that people just don't want to go on anymore and if that happens, it can be difficult to persuade them that life is worth living. In those cases I think we have to try to put ourselves in their places - their spouses and contemporaries may be gone, the lives they knew and loved have changed, even sights, sounds, and smells in the nursing home can be very disturbing sensually. People ask themselves what is left to live for? And you think about it and say, yes, I might well feel the same way myself. Is it possible for you to take her out places that she enjoys sometimes, like a restaurant, a movie, a stroll along a pretty stretch, even if she's in a wheelchair, for an ice cream, etc.? I mean, there has to be something to look forward to or what, really, is left? And believe me, I have these types of conversations with my mother all the time. It is very hard as they get older and are facing the twilight of their lives. It is hard for us to understand it unless we continually put ourselves in their shoes. Good luck, it's a tough one.

 

[brooke789]

My Grandmother was in a nursing home for the last year or so of her life. She, also, was always just a very thin lady. 5'10" at her highest and hardly above 100 lbs. When I was a kid I always remember her having a snack that was 'just for her' hidden beside her seat on the couch (between the couch and the wall). She'd go long periods where that snack was the only thing she ate. I remember long periods of banana chips and honey comb cereal, but not necessarily any others. Anyway, she was just never a big eater. Before she entered the nursing home she'd been in a very bad car accident and went from a long term hospital stay, to a rehab facility and finally the nursing home. She never ate a bite of her plates at any of those places. The only thing she could ever think of she'd eat for the last probably 2 years was fried chicken. Once she was in the nursing home the nurses/aids (?) didn't like seeing her literally never eat anything. So, they started taking the spending money she had and going to KFC to buy her two pieces of fried chicken. They did that for her twice a day for a good year! Anyway, point of the story (other than me sitting here reminiscing) is that if there is SOMETHING she will eat there is likely a way to get it.

 

[jdb in AZ]

Cannabis treats depression and is used as an appetite stimulant. Mrs. Homie's grandmother was, unbeknowst to her, put on a pharmaceutical derivative called Marinol, and it did wonders for her. If it's legal in your state (or even if it isn't), a 5mg dose (about a quarter of a cookie) will brighten her day and get her eating again. Trust me.

It worked for my sister. Her DH "spikes" her fruit juice with cannabis oil and it gives her the munchies.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Hugs to you as you move forward dealing with this.

I used to rep one of the lesser known anti-depressants. It was ideal for elderly depressed patients just like your mom. It treated the depression while increasing the appetite. I would talk to the doctor and see if her can recommend something that will fit both needs.

Cimbalta?

 

[bellebud]

A few others mentioned medical marijuana. I'd give that a try for her.

 

[mom2rtk]

Cimbalta?

Remeron. That was a while ago so I don't have any idea if it's still used much. It was hard to market as a drug for younger people because of the weight gain issues. We really targeted internal med docs seeing lots of nursing home patients. The underweight depressed patient was the ideal target market.

 

[MIGrandma]

Remeron. That was a while ago so I don't have any idea if it's still used much. It was hard to market as a drug for younger people because of the weight gain issues. We really targeted internal med docs seeing lots of nursing home patients. The underweight depressed patient was the ideal target market.

That is the drug she takes!! I knew it started with an "R" but couldn't remember the name!

 

[RC Fan]

I feel for you. My Dad has dementia, and is in assisted living. Dad only wants to eat chips and chocolates. The home has suggested giving him an adult beverage every afternoon to stimulate his appetite.

I hope the situation with your mother improves!

 

[txdisneymama]

Cannabis treats depression and is used as an appetite stimulant. Mrs. Homie's grandmother was, unbeknowst to her, put on a pharmaceutical derivative called Marinol, and it did wonders for her. If it's legal in your state (or even if it isn't), a 5mg dose (about a quarter of a cookie) will brighten her day and get her eating again. Trust me.

My dad is disabled due to a stroke, severely depressed and also stopped eating. My stepmom does the same as above (it is legal where they live) and it has totally helped to get him to eat again. It is the only thing that has helped him after trying what seems like everything.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Get her a swallow test. When my MIL had one we found out she was not really "swallowing". Sending you HUGS!

 

[mom2rtk]

That is the drug she takes!! I knew it started with an "R" but couldn't remember the name!

You mentioned that all she does is sleep. It's been almost 20 years since I trained on the drug, but one of the oddities I recall was that the smaller doses made people really tired, but the higher doses didn't. It's really counterintuitive that way. The doctor might need to increase her dose to decrease the drowsiness. If I recall properly, it hits the histamine receptors first, which causes the drowsiness. At a higher dose there's more drug available to hit the right receptors to increase the norepinephrine in the system, which in turn counteracts the drowsiness.

Regardless, not every drug is right for every person. Definitely have a chat with the doctor and see if they think a dosage adjustment or a different drug might be of help.

Best of luck in helping her through this.

 

[ols386]

So sorry for what you and your mom are going through I hope you find a way to get her to eat and feel better. Lots of good suggestions on here. Sending hugs.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Remeron. That was a while ago so I don't have any idea if it's still used much. It was hard to market as a drug for younger people because of the weight gain issues. We really targeted internal med docs seeing lots of nursing home patients. The underweight depressed patient was the ideal target market.

We do still see it a bit. It's mainly given at night, probably because of the drowsiness issue. It could be why they stopped it in OP's Mom, if she was sleepy during the day. I'd guess they'd be reluctant to increase the dose, but it's worth suggesting it, anyway.

Cimbalta can be another drug to try which seems to have reported good results in the elderly.