"Downsized": anyone watch this show???

[pixiechick]

Here is an excellent series done by some people I work with about the hunger problem in Philadelphia. This was in 2010.

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/special_packages/104415168.html

Eliza: I teach in the neighborhood mentioned. You are dead on in your comments.

It's very easy to discuss programs, policies and politics. It's easy to say we should change things. But I see real people; little innocent people with names and faces every day who deal with the issue of hunger.

 

[eliza61]

Nope, not always fictional. When my father abandoned us, Welfare, Food Stamps, and the Health Department did just what they were supposed to do: They helped my mom get us back on our feet. Later, I qualified for Pell Grants, which -- along with a great deal of work on my part -- enabled me to get a college degree so that I've never been back in that situation.
One comment on one detail: The kids' clothes may've appeared to you to be rags, but I bet the kids would disagree. I have two teenaged girls, and it's difficult to find jeans that don't have holes or other "distressed" features. Brand new jeans with holes in them can cost $50 or more.

I think she meant the fictional part is that our poor simply walk into a welfare office and are handed food stamps, checks and an apartment. Just like people say the poor have access to health care.

That's the fiction. Like I said, I deal with people who it takes months literally months for them to get asthma medication for the kids. It takes up to 90 days for many to get food stamps. So the assumption we have that there is some great safety net is false and like I said, I've seen some shacks in India on TV that are about the same as the public housing ghettos in the Bronx.

 

[DisnyMama]

It's been a week if I do say so myself. First thanks for the encouragement and best wishes. The interview Wednesday went well, or so I felt on my part but the manager who was interviewing me also showed me a stack of resume's about 2 inches thick that he was interviewing after me . So all I could do was try to remain positive and hope I get the call by close of business Friday...........which never came. Yes, I am disapointed but must keep moving on and looking.

On Sunday I got my monthly Food Stamp recharge on my card and it was about $40 less than normal because they had overpaid me the first two months (their fault, not mine-I gave then all the correct info but they made an error) so they are now deducting the overage for a few months. So I had just over $100 for the month and not trusting my car I decided to fill the freezer and buy as much as I could that was not perishable using coupons and shopping at Wal-mart. I did really well and got alot of groceries. I was really proud of my shopping. So on the way home I was stopped at a signal about 2 blocks from home and a truck was coming up behind me in my rear view.......FAST and didn't appear to be slowing down. He finally slammed on his brakes and did end up lightly bumping into me. Thank goodness he finally saw me and hit his brakes. Here's the thing, afterwards when I pulled in to my parking space a few minutes later what was so upsetting to me and brought tears to my eyes was the thought that we almost lost all of our groceries for the month because they were in the trunk. That terrified me.

Ok, so Thursday evening DS had an Open House that he went to at BlockBuster . What this was is he had applied for employment with BlockBuster online and they sent him an e-mail inviting him to this employment open house. It was at 6:00 pm Thursday and I drove him to it and waited in the parking lot figuring it would only be about an hour, tops plus it took us almost an hour to get there via side streets during afterwork traffic. Well, I observed people show up late, literally getting dressed for an interview in the parking lot and walk in dressed like crap. This thing lasted almost 3 hours and he did not walk out with a job in hand. Nope, he will have to wait and see if he gets a call. However, I had a funny, strange and insulting thing happen to me while waiting in the car. This Blockbuster is in kind of a nice area and there was a Mercedes parked in front of me. The lady who belonged to the Mercedes was in the Deli having dinner. All of a sudden a parking lot security guard escorts her to her car and they both turn and look at me, she points at me and I can hear her going on and on to the guy about me just sitting in that car for along time and she didn't know if I was bad news or what?????? I was blown away by this and the security guard just smiled at me after she left. I looked very nice that evening, my hair is always done and I had makeup on-I have often been told I look like a school teacher so it must have been the car? I don't know but it just hit me strange, it didn't feel to good.

In response to getting some extra education to possibly make myself more marketable-I have definately been in favor of doing this for quite some time. It's just that I always hope that I am going to find a full time job which is what I absolutely need to survive. I have thought, can I afford to stay home for at least a year on unemployment (which I no longer have that much time left on it) and go to school and the answer is no even though I could have done that...if I knew I was going to be off this long....plus I have family members that fight me on everything I do and don't understand why I'm still not working so if I had attempted school would have been a whole other nightmare.

It's 3:00 a.m. and i'm exhausted so I aplogize if some of what I write rambles but I did want to get back to this thread and see what was going on. Sorry, i didn't mean to hijack but do appreciate the opportunity to speak.

Shannon

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Their rent is $1700/mo.

If this is the McMansion every one is claiming---that is a BARGAIN!
I'm not familiar with Arizona...other than Phoenix has an overabundance of vacant homes.
But I moved to Northern Virginia....apartments that we could legally occupy cost at least $200-$300 more than that and we simply would not fit. And with owning the home in Florida..that was out of our budget anyway. Houses were even worse.

On the programs and food stamps....there are income restrictions and my understanding is that if you make over the limit, goodbye services. So there are indEed folks who are poor...but not poor enough.

 

[sunnyday123]

AMEN!!! One of the reasons I moved away from my hubby is he was telling our DDs that we were "poor" and "poor people don't..." or "poor people can't..." and it was really starting to take a toll. We were nowhere near "poor". Frugal, yes, tight-budgeted, absolutely (my hubby is also a contractor who was impacted by the recession, but rather than sit around and listen to him mope about it, I actually DID something, moved and got a job).

I've seen "poor" and we aren't it. Nor are we underprivileged or underpaid for what we do. I wanted to smack the husband upside the head because sometimes you DO have to suck it up and accept help, even when it comes with strings attached if it means keeping a roof over your kids' heads. AND...sitting around making phone calls is NOT "working". He (like my own) needs to get over it and get a job. "B-b-b-b-ut I'm a CONTRACTOR". No, you're UNEMPLOYED, buster. "Contractor" implies that you actually HAVE CONTRACTS. (yes, I'm a bit bitter, particularly when my husband tells me what a failure he has been, but fails to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT). Maybe that's what struck the chord with me. Seeing my husband's twin on TV.

I agree. I have an Uncle like this. Instead of getting a job that gives him a paycheck, he expects family to employ him to fix things at their houses, and pay him. I missed the first episode of this show, and want to catch it tonight.

 

[Zoesmama03]

One comment on one detail: The kids' clothes may've appeared to you to be rags, but I bet the kids would disagree. I have two teenaged girls, and it's difficult to find jeans that don't have holes or other "distressed" features. Brand new jeans with holes in them can cost $50 or more.

I see what you are saying. Yes true on the jeans statement but this isn't like worn jeans which I know can be a "style" or desired. The school has uniforms. I have no stable income and can manage to get dd decent held together uniform shorts and pants at the thrift store even. I bought only 3 polos because that is all i could afford. DD always comes first with clothing. I could see if it was a new "used" car but its clearly brand new. A priority may be reliable transportation but is a brand new one NEEDED.

I feel for the family described in the OP show explanations. I have not seen it as I do not have cable but obviously as they got out of control they just needed to develop a plan using priorities. Which I'm guessing is why the went to this "help".

 

[brewcrew]

I have watched this show now and I think that we could all learn a little from it. It should help us remember to live more practically, save more and to not live on credit alone, no matter how much money we make.

 

[angwill]

So tonight's episode we learned the house is $1700 a month. The mother made
$40,000/$3333 a month, the husband about $2000 a month and $3,000 per month for child support. Somehow the financial planner came up with $4700 per month. I guess that is after taxes and insurance? I didn't know you could get food stamps making that much per month so I learned something new. I also wonder if the husband owned a corporation and is collecting unemployment but it wasn't mentioned.

He made 1.5 million in 08 500 thousand in 09 and thought the recession was just a bump in the road and put payroll on credit cards. They then went downhill and filed bankruptcy and moved out of their home in June 09.

The kids do have jobs and said they pay for their own cell phones and clothing. The Mercedes is 15 years old and was her deceased mothers that her father gave her and she will not sell it. The youngest daughters cheerleading costs $145 a month and will need to give that up. I think they said they also spend $200 a week on eating out and was told to cut that down to twice a month and drink water instead of paying for drinks. No mention of the jewlery she wears.

She has MS and drinks lots of Starbucks which she cried and said she needs because of her MS. She said she will not give that up because she needs it to make it through the day. I guess the coffee at home and in the teachers lounge doesn't help MS but Starbucks does? Then she cried that it didn't make her a bad mother if she refuses to stop spending on coffee she can't afford.

That is all I remember from the latest episode.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I do not have WE and cannot watch the show, so please forgive my Monday Morning Quarterbacking...

While true that any ol' coffee should do...and I should not that I abhor the taste of coffee with a passion...mocha flavored ice cream even grosses me out and Kahlua better not be anywhere near my adult beverages...BLEK!

It seems her emotional attachment is high. When one is very sick or suffers from a long term condition, their attachment to vices may be stronger. I can relate because I was pregnant last year and we ate "out" bunches due to my sensitive stomach/hyperemisis. My husband had been laid off last Nov 1 and my birthday was Nov 10. He still got me my Texas Roadhouse for dinner..but we downsized and I was the only one who got a meal. The kids understood and my tummy was happy with the steak. He did not have a new job yet and we negotiated a temporary hardship reduction in our mortgage. (basically a 1 year interest rate deduction) to help us stretch our pennies further. Now--O could have done without it...but eating was difficult, plans were ruined anyway due to my illness...but I got my steak and ate it to.

He began a new job Dec 1 (he had had found the job within a week of layoff, and things moved fast when he was hired).

Our budget was stretched beyond capacity...but I had my reasons for eating the way we did.

I'm sure the mom has her reasons for the starbucks. Downsizing has a learning curve. Short of a true emergency (credit frozen, bank account empty forcing one to hit a soup kitchen)...there is a learning curve. It is easy to sit from the comfort of one's home and judge these people. It is truly about baby steps.

Perhaps she could try making starbucks at home? Surely while it isn't the same, she can try to replicate some of that, couldn't she?

Our family has downsized...but not by the standards of some here. We sill own our second house (unsellable and short selling is not an option), and my kids still do all of their activities. We have cut other things as we go for a more crisp bottom line. But it is a process. We have significantly reduced eating out, changed spending habits and bringing a whole new meaning to couponing. We live in a more expensive area but with a lot of grocers and I feel that we have hit the couponing/sales motherload. We have already experieneced a significant reduction in grocery spending just in 2 months.

Anyway--I wish I could watch the show and appreciate folks posting a synopsis. .

So tonight's episode we learned the house is $1700 a month. The mother made
$40,000/$3333 a month, the husband about $2000 a month and $3,000 per month for child support. Somehow the financial planner came up with $4700 per month. I guess that is after taxes and insurance? I didn't know you could get food stamps making that much per mon

th so I learned something new. I also wonder if the husband owned a corporation and is collecting unemployment but it wasn't mentioned.

He made 1.5 million in 08 500 thousand in 09 and thought the recession was just a bump in the road and put payroll on credit cards. They then went downhill and filed bankruptcy and moved out of their home in June 09.

The kids do have jobs and said they pay for their own cell phones and clothing. The Mercedes is 15 years old and was her deceased mothers that her father gave her and she will not sell it. The youngest daughters cheerleading costs $145 a month and will need to give that up. I think they said they also spend $200 a week on eating out and was told to cut that down to twice a month and drink water instead of paying for drinks. No mention of the jewlery she wears.

She has MS and drinks lots of Starbucks which she cried and said she needs because of her MS. She said she will not give that up because she needs it to make it through the day. I guess the coffee at home and in the teachers lounge doesn't help MS but Starbucks does? Then she cried that it didn't make her a bad mother if she refuses to stop spending on coffee she can't afford.

That is all I remember from the latest episode.

 

[dreamin_disney]

The mother's attitude bothered me tonight. I think she can downgrade on the coffee. I like starbucks too but at $4 on a carmal mochiato I only treat myself to once in awhile. She can make coffee at home or coffee from circle K, 7 Eleven etc even McDonalds has good ones. I do think she needs to sacriffice and make it at home.

I see how much stress the father is on, you can see it in his face. Poor man is gonna have a heart attack if they dont find a solution. I can see the husband doing whatever it takes but the wife is gonna have a hardtime

 

[herdtoDisney]

I dozed off just as the parents were to meet the financial advisor, I'm fighting a cold but I saw it up to that point. I was actually impressed at several of the kids' working, even the younger teen boys. And while I don't think dumpster diving is a great idea, at least the kids who did it were trying to help the family. I actually thought the KIDS were handling things better than the PARENTS, especially the mother.

I saw that she has MS, and that has to be a struggle...but maybe she should limit the Starbucks to like once a week. And the eating out-wow. They did a lot of that, and I know it's expensive, since we are seven people. Dh and I both have jobs and we limit it to twice a month max. Did they end up with a cheaper rental? I fell asleep during the house hunting.

 

[Marionnette]

Just finished watching the second episode and heres what Im coming away with. The kids DO have jobs or at least some of them do. They have to pay for there own clothes and cell phones which is something that I dont ask my own kids to do. But then we arent in the dire financial straits that this couple is in. Props to the kids for stepping up and doing what they can to contribute.

The fight between the two boys looked staged. It was an opportunity to show off "good parenting skills". I like how the father handled the punishment.

The blonde girl is being very self centered and bratty about the move. Lucky for her that the financial planner seems to think that moving would be a bad idea and he had other suggestions for bringing the cost of the rent down.

As I suspected, the couple made some very foolish financial decisions when the bottom fell out of the construction industry. They never should have used there personal credit cards and retirement money to keep the business afloat.

The parents continue to make bad choices. Five hundred dollars a month for eating out?!!!! Yeah, I know that there a very big family but when your spending more than your bringing in wouldnt that be one of the first things to get cut back? And eight percent of there take home pay to send the youngest to cheerleading school when they cant make rent? It would have covered half of the shortfall on the rent if they cut that out. And then the son would not have had to sell his baseball glove and the other kids would not have had to dumpster dive.

And then the moms starbucks obsession is just over the top. Its coffee not a necessary prescription medicine. Buy a canister of folgers on sale and make it at home! They are on target to be forty thousand in debt in a year and she is crying about coffee! I really dont think that she gets it at all. I get the feeling that she is going to be the biggest obstacle in the financial recovery of this family.

I really wish that there were more details about there meeting with the financial planner on the wetv website. I would love to know exactly how much they are spending on utilities, insurance, entertainment, etc. Maybe in a future episode they will cover those expenses further. Im going to keep tuning in just to see what advice they take and what they end up rejecting. I see that the mom and girls will be cleaning houses in later episodes. I wonder what the dad will be doing to bring in more cash. I wonder if he ever considered bartering his construction skills for lower rent. He could certainly do repair work for the landlords properties in exchange for a a reduction in the cost.

 

[RachelsMommie]

I really loved their financial planner. Best quote was that they had "gone through every safety net KNOWN TO MAN!" Love that guy.

The Starbucks is total insanity. I know how she feels but she acted like he was taking away ALL coffee from her, not just Starbucks. They don't have money for rent, but Miss Priss gets her coffee.

Anyway, she needs to get a reality check. I noticed that they had tons of expensive name-brand items in their groceries, yet they are on food stamps. Prepackaged salads are not cheap. I don't know...I think they need the chick from "til Debt do us part" to come and lay some SMACK down!

 

[Marionnette]

They have videos of cut scenes from this weeks episode on the wetv website. It shows the family shopping at goodwill. The one son makes the comment that he doesnt know why they are going since they dont need any clothes. Good question. Why would they be going out and spending money when they dont need to? And while driving there, the mother asks the kids whether its embarassing to shop at goodwill. Why would she even plant that seed in there heads? Most of the kids were fine with it but the blonde girl complained that she was reluctant to wear someone elses clothes. Guess she never borrowed a sweater from a friend? Again, I think that the whole shopping trip was staged by wetv.Thats probably why it got edited out.

 

[meriface11]

i think the financial planner mentioned that her mercedes was only worth $1500, so it makes sense to keep it. i too couldn't believe her reaction to the idea of giving up her starbucks. my dad lost his job when i was in high school and my activities were one of the first things to get cut--not that they were so expensive, but i was expected to put those hours in to my part time job so i could help with the household expenses. it was brutal not being able to participate, but i later took a lot of pride in what i did to help my family. bailey's waitressing job shouldn't be going towards saving up for a car, but towards contributing to the household.

 

[Cindy B]

Anyway, she needs to get a reality check. I noticed that they had tons of expensive name-brand items in their groceries, yet they are on food stamps. Prepackaged salads are not cheap. I don't know...I think they need the chick from "til Debt do us part" to come and lay some SMACK down!

I m not sure where this family is located but in my area prepackaged salads are cheaper than acutal lettuce. For example Shoprite, lettuce head 1.89, package salad on sale for 1.69. Wegmans: lettuce head 1.80 packaged salad 1.29

 

[angwill]

Honestly, I would have to be to the point of not being able to feed my family to take my childs money to pay bills. The most I would do is have them pay for clothing and phones like they are doing and any extras they need. I would work two jobs before expecting them to grow up too soon because I couldn't provide. That's just my feelings toward it.

The financial planner did only mention her car and it being worth $1500 but as soon as he said it was worth that she suddenly talked over him and said it was non negotiable. I don't know why he would tell her to sell it but it almost sounded like that is where the financial planner was going with it?

 

[dreamin_disney]

Honestly, I would have to be to the point of not being able to feed my family to take my childs money to pay bills. The most I would do is have them pay for clothing and phones like they are doing and any extras they need. I would work two jobs before expecting them to grow up too soon because I couldn't provide. That's just my feelings toward it.

The financial planner did only mention her car and it being worth $1500 but as soon as he said it was worth that she suddenly talked over him and said it was non negotiable. I don't know why he would tell her to sell it but it almost sounded like that is where the financial planner was going with it?

I understand the car is worth more to the mom because it was her mothers but just like the coffee doesnt seem like she wants to give up anything on her part. The husband and kids seem to have a better attitude about it. Well except for Baily. I felt bad about the food stamp getting declined but I think she has the same attitude as her Mama. One boy sold his glove, a few others went dumpster diving. I cant wait to see next weeks show. One of the kids isnt going to Prom, was it Baily?

 

[mrodgers]

I m not sure where this family is located but in my area prepackaged salads are cheaper than acutal lettuce. For example Shoprite, lettuce head 1.89, package salad on sale for 1.69. Wegmans: lettuce head 1.80 packaged salad 1.29

Chop the head of lettuce up that costs $0.20-0.50 more and you have about the same amount of salad as 8 of those prepackaged salads....

 

[graygables]

It seems to me that the government could spend some of my tax dollars wisely by creating a "Guide to Getting the Most From Your Food Stamps", including couponing, recipes, buying generics, following sales, etc. For most of us, on this board particularly, those things come naturally, but we had to learn it somewhere. I learned from my parents, but also from my own early experiences on a "frugal living" message board. Some people never learn it, just as these people never did. I can't believe the financial planner had to be the one to bring up coupons (and I had already noted the canned biscuits, bagged salads, etc).

Don't even get me started on Starbucks. It's not the caffeine she needs, it's the yuppie-boost of carrying around a Starbucks cup. Mustn't be seen without it, apparently. And, yes, sweetie, you ARE harming your children. Wake up and smell the coffee in your own kitchen.

Dad's not out pounding the pavement, he's waiting for work to come to him. He is exactly like my own hubby and it makes me insane, which is one of the reasons I live 1,000 miles away from him. I just can't take the "no follow-up", "no gumption" thing anymore. Mom's a whiner who can't face reality. The kids need to grow up (and yes, they are teenagers, it's time for them to grow up already), stop laughing at one another, bickering, and help out.

I do feel badly for Bailey. I was almost 13 when my life was uprooted and we moved across an ocean where I had no say in it at all. I remember feeling despondent that I had absolutely no control or input about a single thing. My first love and my best friend were left behind. It was all about everyone else's needs and mine were ignored; there was no empathy even. Suck it up. You'll make new friends, although I never did fully recover emotionally and have had difficulty with friendships ever since. She seems to be a sensitive person and family members are railroading over her. It's got to be hard to watch her step-sister seem to have it so easy while she struggles, even if the struggles are her own perception of the situation and may not be reality. And her brothers are just outright rude and need those smiles wiped off their faces.