An Inconvenient Truth: happyhaunt Style! (New... pg. 113!)

[BratTink]

MEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sooooooooo happy you're back.

 

[LaLa]

Disclaimer: This will most definitely offend the faint of heart, the weak of stomach, professional basketball players, people not only from Alabama but from its neighbouring states as well, my mother-in-law, ZZUB, ZZUB's mother-in-law, cats, Cats the Musical, Whitney Houston, all my inlaws, most of my immediate family, pop music icons, Katherine Harris and the horse she rode in on and... The French. Of course. So. Proceed if you want to. At your own risk.

And decided I did NOT want to proceed.

OR DID I?!!!

My bare chest would not be smeared with the remains of 17 peanut butter sandwiches.

Don't be dissin' Elvis. Or even showing disrespect to Elvis. He did it his way, Mel. He did it his way. Sigh.

Which was to open my mouth after the first horrible bite and let it la la down my tongue and drop uncerimoniously back onto my plate.

Why does it have to "la la" down your tongue? I don't think I like that. Not one bit. I guess it could be worse though. My screen name could be synonymous with the act of yodeling into the porcelain canyon. Shouting at your shoes. Downloading dinner. That would be enough to make anybody ZZUB three times and then feel numb.

I spent the time doing a little Michael Flatley's Lord of the Bathroom Dance. Except that when I do it... I look a little more masculine. Than he. Does.

Well, it's a good thing you were at The Land instead of Typhoon Lagoon at the time if you were busting out the Lord of the Bathroom Dance while you were waiting. Cause you know how slippery those floors are at TL. And I'm pretty sure the details surrounding a TL BM would've been much, much uglier than the one you just described. IF that's possible.

I flopped down onto the ground, clenched myself tightly in the fetal position, seizured twice, flipped over onto my back, raised my arms towards the sky and clawed helplessly. While drooling. Until I passed out. It's my dance I call, "Britney-Spear's-last-conscious-moment-out-on-the-town". Poor girl, tho. You just KNOW Justin Timberlake is thanking his lucky stars she cheated on him these days.

But this I liked. Well, not the part about you being in pain. But the whole thing was FOFF. NOF. And this was classic Mel.

Keep it coming Melly. But next time you decide to bring the #4 crap (whatever that is), warn us first, would ya?!

 

[HaleyB]

Well at least no one walked in on you because you forgot to lock the door.

Now THAT would be humiliating.

 

[nicolemarie]

Disclaimer: This will most definitely offend the faint of heart, the weak of stomach, professional basketball players, people not only from Alabama but from its neighbouring states as well, my mother-in-law, ZZUB, ZZUB's mother-in-law, cats, Cats the Musical, Whitney Houston, all my inlaws, most of my immediate family, pop music icons, Katherine Harris and the horse she rode in on and... The French. Of course. So. Proceed if you want to. At your own risk.

Being from the neighboring state of Georgia, I was lookin' for a lil sumpm sumpm to offend me. I was ready for you to bring it. I was ready for a debate. My words in red, your words in black. But alas, there was nothing.

So I'm thinkin' the disclaimer is bogus.

I'm also hoping the entire bathroom incident and the taping of your first meal with Mellyman's mom is bogus as well.

Because to disrespect your mother-in-law on a public internet forum is just plain wrong. As is any kind of rating of bowel habits.

What kind of disgusting person does that?

As always, you brought the funny, Melly.

We're glad you're back.

NM

 

[LaLa]

Well at least no one walked in on you because you forgot to lock the door.

Now THAT would be humiliating.

Oh but I think someone did....

We prefer the privacy of our own bathroom. Safe. Private. Except for when the three kids decided to join me and list their homework chores for the day

Now I guess we'll be calling THAT a LaLa too!

Again, loved the installment, Mel. It was very... moving.

 

[wdwdreamin2]

All in all, I was not offended.

Or was I?

Hmm...time to go make dinner.

I think I will hold the onions.

Mel is back.

In full.

Rare form.

OK, not so rare.

For Mel.

 

[Marion]

I'm not offended. I'm a bit queasy though. Just sayin'.

Welcome back. Love your trip novel. How long were you gone? I've forgotten....

 

[pongoperdigirl]

Melly.
Not quite sure what to say.
About that.

Errrr.
Good one?

 

[AshClan]

I have nothing significant to contribute. Not even a bunch of big words. Just wanted you to know I'm here, reading, laughing and enjoying.

And I am ALSO crossing Sunshine Seasons off my list for April.

Or am I?

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

I'm also hoping the entire bathroom incident and the taping of your first meal with Mellyman's mom is bogus as well.

Because to disrespect your mother-in-law on a public internet forum is just plain wrong. As is any kind of rating of bowel habits.

In my edit box I sad, "I think I pulled sumpin' sumpin'"


Perhaps: It was your leg.

Or was it?


You know Me(l) VERY WELL by now.

YOU be the JUDGE!


Love toi!

Melle.

 

[WheatThins]

Here Mel. Pull my finger.

Wheat Thins

 

[Credit Man]

Well, I read the last episode and thought that she has to go there...it's just to easy...and yet, nowhere could I find it. "Lady and the Cramp"!!!

 

[cabanafrau]

Well, I read the last episode and thought that she has to go there...it's just to easy...and yet, nowhere could I find it. "Lady and the Cramp"!!!

OH MY GOODNESS!!! That's all I have time for, as now I have to take care of some laundry, shower & purchase some personal care items I had no idea I needed!!!!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Deb in IRELAND ~ Canada is a great place to visit! You'll love it. I swear. I suggest you begin in the Province of Quebec.

mikamah ~ That's so funny! And... it's so true. Too. Only children do quite well on their own. They learn how to amuse themselves. Oh. BTW, guess what? I was an only child, too.

Cabanafrau ~ You clearly were ALSO in too much of a rush to remember to edit! Your freakin' post!

dalyborg ~ BORG! Again.

MommyP ~ EWWWWWWWWWWWWW! MOMMY! So gross! TMI! In your edit... in your edit. It's too much for Me(l).

Heh heh

Credit MAN ~ DED!

pilferk ~ Oh. We chatted already. But thanks, again, for noticing that my slip was showing.

DJR ~ WELL! Then... U R ON Ignore, too! And, hopefully, laid flat out with a serious case of the ZZUBs from your buffet lunch! Heh heh.

Kay7979 ~ You FORGOT to edit, Bud! AGAIN!

Sneezie ~ SNEEZIE! Nice to see you again too! But what the HECK happened to your post? It's different today. And, thanks for calling Me(l) a tough filly. I liked that. I think. Listen, you know this TR is crap... right? Please continue to read but don't waste all your time on it. There are plenty of really good ones out there on the boards. I'm sure you already know. But, if you don't: May I recommend all of ZZUB's. And... more than once each.

PrincessV ~ Skip the mexican CS place too. While you're at it. On my last trip the crowd was a little bit strange. TFI. The food was nothing to write home about, the birds were everywhere and all I could smell the whole time I was eating was rancid body odour.

Oh.

And the churros (?) thingies... were STALE!

I'm not kiddin'.

Pass. On it.

Haley ~ Hi Haley! Good one!

NM ~ Heh ehh heheh

ZZUB ~ Who's your Commander in Chief, NOW, ZZUBie?

wdwdreamin2 ~ WHEW! I'm exhausted after typing all of that out! Oh. CHEERS! Thanks! I...errrr... think.

Marion ~ Sorry. I've forgotten too by now.

Pongopoodle ~ Hi Pongo! Errrrr... Hi PONGO!

Ash ~ You'd risk an almost CERTAIN fatal and painful Elvis Death Poop?! Just for some FREE SODA?!!!! Well, blow me down! Let's call you ZZUB and break out the Hess Station vittles. Oh... like I told ZZUB... there's ALSO free pop in the Coke Spot in Futureworld. Try the Beverly. Y-uuuu- UUU--MMMM!!!

(Those guys from Alabama aren't the sharpest sporks in the drawer! TFI.)

Wheatthins ~ I will NOT pull your finger. And... not only because I don't happen to have a massive supply of Purell. Right now. On hand. But, also, for at least three additional reasons.


Thanks for posting to my tripe-y!


Cheers, Melly.

 

[Kay7979]

Kay7979 ~ You FORGOT to edit, Bud! AGAIN!

Edits added. In case you are bored and need extra reading material. Or are simply. Curious.

 

[ZZUB]

What kind of disgusting person does that?

Maybe they're not disgusting. Maybe they're just overly amused by the scatological and maybe rating them, classifying them really, is a more useful way to spend their time. When they're caught without reading material.

 

[nicolemarie]

I think "overly amused by the scatological" qualifies as disgusting.

But that's not why I'm here.

Mel!! Are you telling me that your tales contain exaggerations of the truth? All this time - all these trip reports - and I thought these seemingly ridiculous stories were true.

Pass the fork.

 

[WDW LOVR]

Mel, As a personal witness to an 8 yr olds pyrotechnic displays after dinner at that fine Crystal Palace buffet, I feel your pain.

I was just reading your other trippie and discovered that you and Tommy were at the BWV in Oct the same time as my wife and I were. Too bad we missed you. Laurie loves the Biergarten wiener salad also. You guys are kindred large beer stein drinkin, wiener salad eatin, young german CM waiter flirtin spirits.

Another great episode as usual.

 

[Disfan3]

I don't know which is more disturbing...


Mel's bathroom agenda...or Lala's love for Elvis.


OR

The fact that none of the above shock me at all.



Now...play me some mountain music...like Grandmaw and Grandpaw used to play....

 

[kpk89]

Oi.

I am swearing off Sunshine Seasons and the big stall at The Land ladies' room. You have contaminated both for me.

((It was in the ladies' room, right? because you have claimed, in the past, to be no lady))

Despite the grossness, or over-amusement by the scatological, whatever, I am still reading! Glad you're back! Rock and roll!