San Antonio Trip - Giving up hope.

[dclfun]

I agree! Don't let your Mom blackmail you or make you feel guilty. You've gone way above and beyond to meet her needs. From what I've read, I know if this was my Mom she'd be in a nursing home as certainly her needs for care would be met ( since she tells you you're not meeting her needs, then a nursing home would be better...right?). You're BOTH adults. She's had her life and now it's your turn to have a life, not a punished existence. Please, please...you need to do this for yourself. It's a sign of strength rather that weakness for you to enjoy the trip you've planned. We're all pulling for you.---Kathy

 

[mrsksomeday]

Please read what Kathy has said to you and listen to it. You can not cancel this trip. You are an adult not a 5 yr old. You have made arrangements for her.

I would check out all the nursing homes in the area. I would see if I could get recommendations from a doctor about it. If you are worried about her not being taken care of, go there every single day make sure they know you are watching them and keep an eye on her, but then you could go home by yourself and not be yelled at constantly.

This is severe verbal and emotional abuse, I hope you find the strength to get out of this situation. You deserve a life, a good life.

 

[bopper]

If you go, she will be mad, but you will have a good trip.
If you don't go, she will be mad that you though about going, you won't go on the trip, and you and she will be miserable.

Take a step back and think:

She can have whatever she wants if she can take care of herself all by herself. You are not stopping her from living anywhere or being taken care of by whoever she wants.

But, given that she has chosen you, she gets what you can give. You have the right to take a vacation now and then. You have the right to a life. You have provided for her needs. She doesn't like it? She is welcome to move out or bring in anybody she pleases. When ever you get the guilties, then realize that experts say that all caregivers need respite now and again and you will actually be more mentally ready to take care of her.

 

[mrsksomeday]

How are you today ? How is your mom?

 

[mechurchlady]

Mom is ok but she has the skin problems from the diabetes. I rather have 10 kids than her but also understand why she is the way she is.

I am going crazy like usual and sleeping a lot. I have friend to care for mom while I am gone and she is saying it is ok to go. I just got to move stuff out of the hallway and move in the potty chair into the bathroom and stop wanting to go to WDW. I have rearranged the trip so it is cheaper. I am ok really I am but just cannot stop crying. If only she would not shut down on me so much and learn to understand that there is a bigger scheme to life. NOW is all she understands where as I went to the bathroom, rotated laundry, got the mail then came in the house. All she can see is the mail must be brought in. What is it like to not have someone tell you how to do things. I come in the house and she tells me where to put the mail, to lock the door, and that I must use a different bowl for dinner because it is not microwave safe probably. UM mom it dont even fit in the microwave and like about 15 years ago I learned that.

Where is the trade forum? I am offering one sweet old lady who has major quirks for 5 kids. Sensory issues, meltdowns, hissy fits, and other quirks.

The trip is all set but I still need a purse as I cannot get rid of my very dirty old one as it obviously dirty. Find a pair of sneakers. Print out forms and maps. Find my book on Texas. Shoot myself for having a 45 minute layover in Dallas. Look up Dallas flight to make sure I can do the transfer. Checked LAX and my flight usually is the far end of the terminal. I love seat guru. Need to pack snacks and cook her some meals. Go shopping and take a note pad to take notes for other disabled travellers on a trip report. Get a camera and take pictures then remember to send Sue or someone else smart the pictures to use on the site. I do not have a printer as that way I will not have to deal with the cost, lol. Also find a back bone.

Big hugs and I will try to remember the GF bakery and tacos that await me.
Hugs and chocolates
Laurie

 

[BETTYDISNEY]

I wish you much luck and happiness on your trip and most of all a sense of INDEPENDENCE from everyrhing!

 

[mrsksomeday]

I wish you much luck and happiness on your trip and most of all a sense of INDEPENDENCE from everyrhing!

Ditto to what Betty said!!

 

[mechurchlady]

Right now I am shutting down and locking the brakes and will be sliding to the finish line while throwing out anchors and grappeling hooks. I have so much to do and nothing started, sigh.

Thank you cheerleaders and I know what I have to do but the quirks, add, sid and other stuff is just kicking in. I am a big girl and can have fun anywhere like in Moline area my tendon was hurting bad but I found a music museum and sat there chilling to River Music. I can survive in any town and have fun if I put my mind to it. I am used to eating tacos, hush puppies, ribs, and burgers so cheap food I love.

I DONT WANT TO GO.
Actually I want to go but am so procrastinating but I am finally caught up on laundry, drying, dishes, frying pans, and made a dink in my old bedroom. I know as a board member I will need my helmet just in case Sue or Cheshire Figment start whacking me with a rolled up newspaper. I do need the encouragement as I tend to meltdown or shut down easily.

I have no true labels but have quirks lol. Oh the mysteries of life.

Hugs for my cheerleaders
Laurie

Finances are holding as I have enough for rooms and car now.

 

[mrsksomeday]

Don't let the depression etc. win. You deserve this trip, you need this trip. You need the freedom of just being with yourself and not having to take care of your mom, even for a couple of days. You need to recharge. Please make yourself go on this trip, don't allow yourself to shut down. Fight it, we are here for you. You can do this.

 

[BETTYDISNEY]

We are all here for you, Laurie!

GO LAURIE GO

 

[mechurchlady]

depression is a problem for me but I have birth defects so I shut down with stress. Hugs Betty and is happy she is cheering, great way to burn them calories, lol.

A person told me in July that they would let me stay with 3 others and her in their Marriott room. Seaworld and sharing a car was included. Then she oOPS used a debit card that expired. then her son is getting married. I was smart enough to keep my Marriott room.

That person, I have proof if you want, has posted on a low class sweeps board that they are indeed going to the convention. I found out at the great home site that I park when sweeping that there was previous trouble with this woman. She held a member raffle and the site owner had to cough up prizes and she never gave any out. This is not the first time she had hurt people of even the third time.

I set on this board and see how the actions of one person can hurt another and I have learned to try hard to think about how my actions affect others. This woman told me that it was not about me but about her and her son's wedding. I try to not carry or use my birth defects and other problems for sympathy. Right now I feel like a kid whose is overwhelmed and I am not used to people like that woman. I been too long around nice people I guess.

2.5 days to clean up, find and pack clothes, find tracy, get food for mom in case people do not show, print stuff out, omg I am never going to make it. warning warning iminent shut down, melt down ooh wait there is a chocolate malt in the freezer. all better.

I feel like the White Rabbit and Roger Rabbit, gone crazy.

 

[Tiggerish]

I am sending you hugs and postive thoughts and keeping you in my prayers as you get yourself geared up for your adventure.

I do not know if you will have any time for sightseeing visiting the Alamo is FREE and just a short walk from the River Walk area.

This is the info I have on it: "Located on Alamo Plaza in downtown San Antonio, Texas, the Alamo represents nearly 300 years of history. Three buildings - the Shrine, Long Barrack Museum, and Gift Museum - house exhibits on the Texas Revolution and Texas History. Visitors are welcome to stroll through the beautiful Alamo Gardens."

 

[mechurchlady]

Definitely renting a car and will try to do Alamo the first day and if not I have two hours after the convention on Sunday and on Thursday I can do the Alamo then another thing like the wild animal park. Boerne is an interesting town so who know what I will do but definitely Alamo, Riverwalk, the mall, Aussie bakery, the arts show, Imax and hopefully some other local sites or even towns. I have until 5 pm to get back for the convention on thursday but who knows because I going to get me a medium sized car.

Thanks for the info and big hugs. No souvenirs as I am again stocking up on newspapers and magazines and brochurres for mom as she loves them things.

3 hours to dinnner woot then nap then

 

[mrsksomeday]

3 hours to dinnner woot then nap then

What do you mean ? You DIS of course!!

 

[mechurchlady]

What do you mean ? You DIS of course!!

omg you caught me sneaking in here before dinner, mom is bellowing for food but got to get my Dis Fix.

 

[BETTYDISNEY]

What's for dinner today?

 

[mechurchlady]

bagged salad, salmon fried then patted dry with lemon pepper and taragon
Boiled potato no added salt with butter for mom and canned peas.

Now is nap time.

Who stole Saturday, lol?
I am down to 48 hours because of online stuff to do and napping.

 

[BETTYDISNEY]

48.......................SanAntonio

 

[dclfun]

Woo hoo! It's almost time for San Antonio! I can't wait to hear all about your amazing, wonderful trip!---Kathy

 

[mechurchlady]

The corner of my eye has gone on strike and hurts but my back is smooth so my toxins from allergies is way down, yeah.

All travel plans are in order finally and I am stopping here before moving furniture. The toilet seat is filthy but I do not care but the bowl is clean sort of. Big complaints from her probably. Paypal debit card expired or dead so on to furniture moving then shopping and a burger as those are good.

I am crying and rocking as mom is really heavy on the guilt and I have to talk to tracey still. I have to go to a computer place and pay a lot to print out all of the forms and hopefully the printer works.

I will have to look up cyber cafes in san antonio as I have games that need daily maintence though all can be left alone. I will leave about 3am or so thus it is 41 hours to FREEDOM. The guilt is getting bad. She does not need me. There are disabled people who are paralyzed or double amputees who do more in one hour than she does all day. She needs me for everything and has to realize that I am old now and could drop dead of a heart attack. Cancer, diabetes run in the family.

I just set here doing my internet rounds and rock and cry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElnRiKloWN8
I have played this song about 10 times.

Chin up and onward I go.
Hugs and I will try hard to get pictures or something.
I need to take notes for those who may want to go where I go.