San Antonio Trip - Giving up hope.

[mechurchlady]

I love to enter sweepstakes and have been a sweepstaker for many years. Last year I bought a convention thing for the end of this August. I got a room and things were fine but money short but ok.

A woman told me she would bunk me with 3 other women in her concierge suite. I had reservations about me with my quirks and being with 4 other women in a room. Last week the lady said she used a debit card that expired June 30th. I told her I had my room, still, and that the 3 ladies could stay with me. She said she could stay with a friend and would have a car. She would have 12 SeaWorld tickets so I would get in free.

I found out that SeaWorld would be closed on the free day. Then she wrote me phoned me and left a pm in a sweeps board. Suddenly her son was getting married that week, that she was not going, and that the other ladies got room mates. There are no rooms in that area due to 2 conventions and a holiday. I now am broken hearted and broke and cannot get roommates and am tired of dashed dreams..

===========================
Trip Details

Just me flying out of LAX. Most of you know me and my quirks. I have ADD, SID and numerous brain flaws/quirks. I avoid them, fight them or hid them. I am not good with people and lack social skills. Abused verbally most of my life. My mother has a lot of mental issues also and this is killing me emotionally and physically. She demands things be done NOW even if I am puking or gasping for breath or doubled over. Other problems are poor hygiene, bad teeth, arthritis, celiac, joint problems from injuries like a sore knee, and a disintegrating disc.

I have a nonrefundable ticket on American Airlines. I have disabled seat picked on each flight. Asked for a wheelchair escort.
Aug 27, 2008
06:00 AM LAX leave

11:05 AM arrive DFW Dallas/ Fort Worth

11:45 AM leave DFW Dallas/ Fort Worth Seat

12:50 PM arrive SAT San Antonio

Aug 31, 2008
05:00 PM leave SAT San Antonio

06:10 PM arrive DFW Dallas/ Fort Worth

08:16 PM leave DFW Dallas/ Fort Worth

09:21 PM arrive LAX Los Angeles
=====================================
The problem is that I have shut down, given up and can only think about wishing I had gone to Moline (GF pizza), NYC, or WDW. I cannot afford $600 for 4 nights and do not know if I can get a room mate. I love sweeping but I have friends in WDW area who would pick me up at the airport, feed me, love me and know my fauls and disabilities. I rather go to WDW. I cry beause I have had my dreams inflated and dashed. I am here ranting as I need ot let out my frustrations with this evil woman and how she thought nothing about the emotional damage she caused. I keep thinking about WDW and how happy I would have been, Everything open, friends, and securie feeling. I have to get away from my mother and take the trip but give up on finding a room mate or funding.

I am staying at the Marriott Rivercenter. The convention is there, Riverwalk, the mall, eating places and near hemisfair park, the alamo, and about 3 miles from a GF bakery. For once in over a year I would get to use a shower and have privacy with nobody yellling for me to do things NOW or that I am a failure. No politically incorrect remarks to listen to. Peace and quiet.

Sorry but I finally need someone to vent with as I am 50 years old and retired, my golden years are not golden. Sorry this is so long.
hugs
Laurie

 

[dclfun]

Laurie- I'm so sorry this happened to you and that your trust was broken, not to mention your plans for a vacation. Is there any way you can use the tickets to get to WDW instead since they can't be refunded? Is there any way you'd still be able to afford the trip solo, or could you invite one of your friends from the WDW area to join you? Sounds like you really need a vacation and some time away from your home situation- I hope something can be worked out. I'm pulling for you!---Kathy

 

[mechurchlady]

Departure Fare per Person 110.00 USD
Return Fare per Person 110.00 USD
Total Fare per Person
220.00 USD

Additional Taxes and Fees per Person 42.00 USD
Total Price 262.00 USD
=========================
IF I was to change the location of the departure or arrival then it would cost me more. I asked if I could extend the departure day one day and was told it would cost $135 if nonstop and $150 if there was one stop.

I would not ask my Florida friends to come because there would be nothing for them to do. It is just I think how I could use my friends and could have had fun nonstop, knwn people and be in familiar surroundings. I do not want to shut down or have a melt down. I would be safer in a place I know and with friends. In two weeks I could know where to eat and what to eat but not in San Antonio, sigh.

As I was writing htis Mom demanded her pot be emptied as it is stinky. I just sat down for about 3 minutes and am hurting bad this morning. Can she wait 5 minutes. The pot is stinky, NOW. I know I should tell her off but it is like dealing with a 3 year old. She did not want to wait for me to put a bandaid on my cut finger for safety. NOW.

This morning I work up and she was screaming for breakfast. I said I was coming then clicked th computer to show the screen then found my glasses. I have a warped broken bed but it sleeps well, just hard to get out of, lol. Screams for her breakfast NOW. I gave her toast and peanut butter instead of sausage as she aint getting that out of me. I did not get to pee either as the screaming was so bad. Then nonstop verbal diarhea while i go pee and try to remember what I was doing in the dining room. OMG blacks looked at the house for sale, the new ladies next door are gay, cousin's kid spending money not on her parents omg, stories that are gruesome on the news.

Breath in and out. Nonstop and here I am trying to remember how to cook breakfast. Oh I forgot to start the toast, not enough water in the coffee cup, the canned milk, dont hurt yourself opening the canned milk, fight the urge to hurt, open the milk with a big knife which is easiest for me, griping about the menu, on and on and on and my failures and how she wants to move to San Pedro.

I listen to this all day long and am so tired of it. It is one thing to ask for something but to scream and have fits. Then worst is the "dont hit me" move where she cringes like I am about to beat her senseless. He mom did but not dad or me.

Are you in bed
yes
aer you in bed or the computer
What do you need?
The paper is out there

This is followed by cussing, banging and how I do not care about her. bleeping die. bleepingy bleepingy, how you going to live on $800 a month.

Now I crawl out of bed and drag myself along the walls and out the front door. the cussing and threats of taking money is louder and she is on a rant.
=====================
I do no tcare who looked at the vacant house. so what if they are gay, the cousin's kid has a right to do what she wants with her money, and I do not need to hear that same gruesome story 10 times. That is why it is so hard. She even said that Michel Savage was right about autism, ooh, I so wanted to scream but it would not have sunk into her narrow mind.

Now I cry and fight the self abuse urges that will come.

 

[dclfun]

Laurie- I hope something can be done to help you, but I'm not sure what services are available where you live. Have you tried adult services? It sounds like an environment you need to get out of. I'm so very sorry your life is so challenging.---Kathy

 

[mechurchlady]

She makes too much money,
She refuses to have strangers in the house,
Every excuse. She is an adult of clear mind so fighting her is useless.

Yesterday she asked me what I would do if the house was sold, where would I live. Then she said what if there was a will and I was not in it. I walked away and cried again.

I am calmer and now am going on faith. I will have enough to get to LAX and from SAT to the hotel. I have enough for food until Friday when I get paid by SSI. That means entertainment for the weekend and getting home. I have airfare. So the last hurdle is the room. $600 is what I have to come up with out of our income. That would be about half to two thirds of out disposable income which goes to when I am too hurting to cook, gas and eating, lol.

I just needed to vent as I shelter myself from people and am not used to mean people as I stay away from them. I am the daughter who was taught to love and obey parents. Faithful servant who is told to jump now.

Thanks for the suggestion but I tried everything.

 

[dclfun]

I'm glad you're still going on your trip. As to your home situation, if things get bad enough you can always call Adult Protective Services or just go to a battered woman's shelter- you deserve to live in a caring environment. Verbal abuse is just as wrong as physical abuse. Since you are on SSI they can help you with alternative shelter and other needs and you aren't responsible for taking care of your Mom. Too many people stay in abusive relationships because they can't figure out a "way out" but there is help. Meanwhile I hope this trip can lift your spirits somewhat- you must be very proud of yourself for making these plans and somehow finding the emotional strength to follow through.---Kathy

 

[ireland_nicole]

Nicole

 

[mechurchlady]

She has been quiet thankfully. I carbed out somehow recently so I crashed and when I crash get the ear plugs, lol. I feel so sorry for her. She and I both have autistic tendancies and ADD. Her mother was a rich spoiled brat who by the age of 30 had 3 kids she did not want, a husband of convenience and the last two kids were born 13 months apart. Granmother slapped my mother and mom shut down. She cannot do fractions or other complex math. Never done household bookkeeping and cannot understand the problems of the book of the month club.

I love her dearly and wish she had loving parents like on this board. Parent who would have encouraged her and got her diagnosed and special education. The last trip with her had to be that same day because of a horrid heat wave. The other was secret then the day before I told her.

I haev seen nursing home and will never put anyone in one. They sent mom home with double pneumonia, gave me no training on diabetes except how to give the shot maybe, and she was so sick she got infection. She had bed sores because they removed the catheter then left her there daily with no way to get to the bathroom.

I vented and finally am on that last check before the trip. Everything but a sitter that weekend, ground transport, and the hotel room and stuff to enter the raffles.

The convention was poorly planned. It is labour day weekend so the town has shut down for the winter. The New Hampshire convention is 4th of July weekend and includes pancake breakfast, baseball game and fireworks, barbecue dinner, a social at the bar, and an ice cream social. It is located within 60 miles of Boston, Salem, Portsmouth and is within a 2 hours drive of amusement parks, theatres, adirondacks, White Mountains and Canada.

Thank you for the sunshine. My quirks have been coming out and some I never realized existed. Big hugs. dinner time, I love paydays, lol. Thanks everyone.

 

[mechurchlady]

update.

convention and airline paid for. I do not know what to do about ticketing and will have to find the info as I have never done an E ticket before or anything under the new regulations. It is about 3 years since I have flown.

I have not sorted out clothes to see if I need new clothes.
I do not have a plan for caring for mom but have someone except Saturday and Sunday. I hope to get meals dropped of if nothing else. No family, friends or church to help me. I could try to find Calvin as he could help but he is not in good health. Dad sort of adopted him as a friend but like a son, such a sweet man. He loves my mother and he looks so much like dad in some ways. Not his kid for sure but just has them ways like dad.

Health is holding steady.

I have about $1400 for the month and usually use about $800 because of mom's diapers, food and eating out a lot due to my health. I have not done shopping for the month yet so I will be going to San Antonio with maybe $300 to $400 if I am lucky. With the Friday payday I am covered except the room. I hope to borrow from my aunt or someone. If not then I can cancel part of the hotel room and hope to get another on Friday or Saturday.

If I can get Calvin to come by and the room are obstacles but I have faith.

I am stuck with mother but will never put her in a nursing home. The two she was in have a long list of problems like not enough staff, food, health, safety and dispensing medicine. Hugs to the dear people hear who cheer me up when life stinks.

 

[KirstenB]

I'll pray your trip all comes together. About the e-ticket, I don't fly, so I can't help you there. But you could pm the moderator of the TRansportation Board, I think it's Goofy4Tink, or there's a frequent flyer on the board named Bavaria, who could probably give you current info on how to do e-tickets.

 

[mechurchlady]

I need to grow up and stop panicking over everything, lol. Thanks for the advice. I read the email and must print that out then either bring it to LAX to get a boarding pass or 24 hours before hand get one online. I have never had a printer as I would waste money. 4 bills to pay and I must go shopping so I know the toll, outch.

Good news is that mom likes the store brand diapers which I can buy in bulk and they cost about 40 cents less. I will be saving over $50 a month with this change. I am entering sweepstakes sites to try to win prizes to sell for the trip.

21 days and please no meltdowns, panic attacks or shut downs. I can do this. I can do this. Well, maybe not, This little engine will need lots of chocolate to get this done. Munch munch, I know I can, munch munch, I know I can.

Today I got a package from an online friend that was gluten free snacks, cake mix and a cute little ceramic mouse. I kknow I can I know I can get through the trip especially with friends like that.

 

[dclfun]

I'm pulling for you too and KNOW you can do this. You've done a great job so far in organizing your trip and making sure your Mom has what she needs when you're gone. I hope you win something huge via your sweepstakes.---Kathy

 

[mechurchlady]

Most of you know I have quirks like ADD, SID and other birth related stuff. I tend to latch on to something and not let go. sigh I finally just went and reserved a room on I-10 for about $190 and a car for about $120. I will have the freedom to drive up to the bakery and it will cost me $310. I so wanted that luxury room but all I need is a shower or bath and my fancy spa stuff. Ok I did concede to some luxury, giggles. I got a discount on the sebring so I am getting for about $15 total more a 4 door car with room for luggage and the wheelchair.

I now will have to figure out if taking the chair would be needed. I would save on a cab to the bakery and from the airport. It would be $50 for Wednesday and Thursday for parking which would be offset by the airport to hotel costs. The other days will be after my check comes in.

I set here and read about kids and how they get so focused on something that the do not stop until they are hurt or in trouble with parents or teachers. I am that way and finally had to give up my dream and be happy.

hugs to my angels especially the nice lady who sent me some gluten-free snackes.

 

[mechurchlady]

List of things I need for the trip, please I will take anything but money and kids, lol, and not in that order.

It was definitely my brain quirks that made me hate this trip. Being downtown and dependent on public transportation as well as stuck with a few restaurants on Riverwalk was kind of freaking me out. I am more relaxed and enjoying the idea of the freedom of a car. I rarely am without a car and have been driving 36 years.

Right now I have not gotten mom sitting figured out or how to get to LAX yet. Not looking at bank account, eek.

THE LIST

I have celiac and no soy. I seem to do ok with eggs but am itching so who knows. I love thai and mexican food. If anyone has some nice cheap San Antonio area restaurants please let me know. I do not me the Crab Shack but the local restaurant where they offer a truck load of food for $15 and that includes tip. NO pizza places or bakeries except for gluten free places as the risk is too high. No chinese as they use soy.

I has SID or something like it so anything with sauce I tend to drain off. You should see me with a bowl of cole slaw. It is drain, one bite, scoop to the side while draining, one or two bites, drain, bite, over and over. I will put a spare utensil under a plate to drain the juices and sauce away from the food. Love onions, peppers and garlic. Last night I cooked hot dogs as I was craving them at midnight. I love barbecue and cheeseburgers but have to be careful of soy in barbecue and the buns in burgers.

Has anyone heard of Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch?
http://www.wildliferanchtexas.com/

Anyone have any suggstions? I have all day thursday the 28th, after about 5 pm Friday and Saturday the 29th and 30th. Noon to 2 pm on the 31st. I doubt I will do anything but eat, sleep and bathe on the 27th as it will be about 10 hours from home to LAX to SAT to the car rental to my room.

I will not be doing SeaWorld as they are closed except days of the convention and I would have less than 4 hours one day. FiestaTexas would give me less than 3 hours. I do not waddle fast enough for it to be worth it. I do not go to casinos either. I will spend one evening in RiverWalk and/or RiverCenter mall. Not really interested in Alamo but it is a free option. I am definitely going to that gluten free bakery on B avenue.

I will carry cereal with me for snacking on the plane trip. I am still thinking if I need the wheelchair as I would only need it if walking long distances like the mall. It is heavy and might not be easy to get into a Sebring but I get one into a Sentra. Big car for a big lady, lol. It was like $15 more so I took the offer. I am sort of used to hot weather being from Los Angeles.

Let me think. I have a disable seat on the plane where the arm raises. Asked for the wheelchair ride. Need to print out info i found online and am trying to get google maps and directions to everywhere. I need someone to take my quirks while on vacation or better yet shoot them.

Someone to push me along with a whip or dangle chocolates and philly steak in front of my nose as that will get me moving.

 

[KirstenB]

I've never been to Texas, so I have no suggestions. Just wanted to wish you a great trip, and let you know you've got me smiling with your wry sense of humor.

 

[ireland_nicole]

b/c of my kiddos, the only place we ever get to eat on the Riverwalk is Rain Forest Cafe'. But be proud of yourself, you're doing a great job.

Re; natural bridge caverns: I haven't been, but my DH brought his family last year and they loved it! I would also highly recommend the alamo; you'll always remember it!- I know, bad joke-but I just couldn't help it...

 

[mechurchlady]

Major set back. Mom is in the hospital. Foley catheter, lasix, antibiotics. Her slipper was wet then later the new one I put on her left foot was wet. Her leg had water coming out of it. diabetes. her sugars were up to 240.

I was there until after 2 am. Mom has many quirks and they brushed them off. She shuts down and goes into the Dont-Beat-Me Mode at times. She has to do things her way but does not understand or see any way but her way. She wants the paper NOW. Does not matter if I am on the toilet, puking, asleep, or hurting, NOW. She cannnot understand how agitated I get when she yammers. I is nearly deaf so that is a problem with a call button.

I started to cry before she went to the hospital because a person wrote me saying they were sending me $20 for the trip. Nothin in Paypal. What hurt was that they wanted me to go to their blog and enter their sweeps but their blog is nothing more than an advertisement for some sort of snake oil. How could someone do that to me or anyone? I have turned down one gift certificate offer and will turn down more as I want the money so bad and the trip ut nt if I have to take money.

I give up. so tierd, 5 hours at least with her and tired so tired of fighting for her.
so tied.

 

[mechurchlady]

Everything is set and I am staying one night in the expensive hotel and 3 in motel 6. Renting a car and having fun. The stimulous checks came through. I have people coming by every day to check on mom.

Why am I crying then.
Mom won't let me go. She demands someone to be there around the clock. If it was me I would be using a walker and dragging myself to the toilet and around the yard but I would be free. I would be on busses to places and shopping. I would need people to come and be with her morning dinner and mid day. I do not see that happening as Tracy and Calvin wont do am duty. The house is run down and not safe let alone it is revolting to many.
I cannot put her in a nursing home and cannot get her to travel with me. I cannot make the trip shorter as that would cost over $200 and maybe more for a ticket home earlier. HELP. Not even crying has softened her heart. Right now she is in a mood of demanding and fits and screaming. She reminds me of my failures but heya re her failures to teach me to be an adult and to do things. She is the one who failed as a mother and let me become what I am.

I want to go but will loose over $400 for the convention and airline tickets. I will loose all the gifts and raffles at the convention. I dont know what to do as I want a shower and nice bed to sleep in. I want to be able to not be screamed at 24 hours a day. I am tied of washing my hair in the kitchen sink or once I used the hot water from the washing machine. I am so tired and she is killing me.

One week and not printed out stuff for the trip or done any packing or planning. I dont know where all of my pants are or what clothes I have any more. I am so tired, so tired. I want so bad to go. I would have to be there the first two days just to get the raffles stuff and be part of the convention. I need help but do not know where to turn.

Hugs
Laurie

 

[Cheshire Figment]

Laurie - At some point you will have to say to her that she is an adult and should act like one. That should be on your way out the door on the trip.

You have people coming by daily to check on her; that should be sufficient.

 

[Tiggerish]

Please, please do NOT cancel your trip.

You have made all the necessary and appropriate arrangements for her. Do not debate it with her or beg, just get packed and stay calm when you go over the arrangements with her. Remember, none of the arrangements you make will saitisfy her. You know that your plans for her care are adequate; do not drive yourself crazy trying to cover outrageous or impossible demands. Needs and demands are not the same.

Then when departure time comes, give a hug and a wave and GO!

Letting her blackmail you with guilt to cancel this brief respite will set a bad course for your future dealings. Please go on your trip.