Possible Asperger's diagnosis for DS9- would love some input/ advice please

[DisDreaminMom]

I elect Becky the class president. Lead on, Becky!!! And everyone on this thread is very nice. Won't go near the Autism community (in person or on computer) with a ten foot pole after what I've seen and heard...You all sound more like me, anyway.

 

[mechurchlady]

I elect Becky the class president. Lead on, Becky!!! And everyone on this thread is very nice. Won't go near the Autism community (in person or on computer) with a ten foot pole after what I've seen and heard...You all sound more like me, anyway.

I second that motion and nominate bookwormde as vice-presient.

 

[C&G'sMama]

I'd love to join too. I can't say how nice it is to hear from others with similar issues and get variuos perspectives from all of you. It is very helpful. Today we had a meeting with DS teacher. He is in K and they are graded on a scale of 1 to 4. Well he got a 2 in fluency for reading so he didn't make honor roll because if you get any ones or twos you don't get honor roll. Now it's not a big deal that he didn't make honor roll in K. But it is a big deal if he's being penalized for something that's typical (I know there is no such thing) for him. It's because he doesn't properly stop at periods and commas and he stops in the middle to ask questions and make comments, imagine that. But the kid that can read "dog" and "cat" gets a 4 which a K should get but anyway....(DS reads Magic Treehouse, A to Z mysteries, anything about animals, the dictionary etc.) And right now AS isn't in his IEP because the diagnosis was made after his IEP was written. So we are going to get the IEP changed. But the other thing is his writing. Again, we don't want that to hold him back. I'm rambling, but I know you folks understand.

Now to the anger stuff. He had his first meltdown at school yesterday. I worry what will happen when he gets older. It's the kind of meltdown he has at home so hopefully this was just a one time thing at school. Tonight he got mad because we didn't have bok choy for dinner. We were going to have stir fry tonight but DP got sick and I didn't get home from work 'til almost 7:30 so we had chicken from the freezer. So it was a 1/2 hour of foot stomping and rolling on the floor and screaming "I WANT BOK CHOY" (and of course part of me wants to laugh because it's bok choy). But it was a change and we all know how our kids deal with change.

So I guess I'm saying that's a great idea.

 

[SueM in MN]

Anyway, my point is, that any evaluation should include input from the parents, and they should take that into consideration. I know I personally would behave differently, better, if I knew I was being tested, wouldn't anyone? If the child understands what is going on, they're likely to act differently than they usually do.

Parents should always be involved in any evaluation.
Children sometimes look like totally different people in different environments. Some may do better in a highly structured environment; some do worse. And many behave differently at home than at school.

I was wondering if, if anyone is interested and it's okay with the mods, anyone would be interested in joining me in sort of a "challenge" thread? If there are behaviors we want to work on, where we can brainstorm and vent and share progress?

This is the more general board for questions related to disabilities, so I see no reason not to start a thread like that.

 

[mechurchlady]

So it was a 1/2 hour of foot stomping and rolling on the floor and screaming "I WANT BOK CHOY" (and of course part of me wants to laugh because it's bok choy).

I still do no t eat veggies let alone bok choy and have seen a lot of parents who have kids who are not into veggies. Thanks for the laugh though really it is not good and sad for a kid to meltdown but it is funny to think about a kid wanting bok choy.

Proud member of the anti-veggie club.
hugs and bok choy
Laurie

 

[C&G'sMama]

I still do no t eat veggies let alone bok choy and have seen a lot of parents who have kids who are not into veggies. Thanks for the laugh though really it is not good and sad for a kid to meltdown but it is funny to think about a kid wanting bok choy.
Proud member of the anti-veggie club.
hugs and bok choy
Laurie

Thanks Churchlady. I have to laugh or I'll cry or yell all the time. Laughing is much healthier!

 

[Earstou]

We have a lot of trouble getting either boy to particpate in sports....Youngest DS didn't ever catch on-- he does love the water so that is even more reason for it to be a concern that he couldn't swim-- but he refuses to put his face in the water, he also needed a "para", he won't jump in from the poolside--

I've been busy lately so I'm late checking in on this one. My son also refused to put his face in the water until we got a swim mask. He immediately learned to swim!
Of course, our new problem is getting the mask off of him now years later! But at least he knows how to swim well enough to go snorkeling (where it is acceptable for a teen to be wearing a mask!).

 

[BeckyScott]

You can make me class president, but don't make me the treasurer. The money will turn up missing, and I'll be in Florida.

I'll start a new thread.

 

[mechurchlady]

You can make me class president, but don't make me the treasurer. The money will turn up missing, and I'll be in Florida.

I'll start a new thread.

You are too honest and I would move to Florida if I was treasurer.

As for the kid with the swim mask, lol, what about when a 45-year-old man is swimming in the pool with a mask on. Just say he has a "medical condition that requires him to use a swim mask" and they will think he has an eye problem.l I read that one should never diver head fist into cold water as it shocks the system. He may actually be reacting to water on his face as I know water on the face can do something but phooey my brain forgets again.

 

[bouncycat]

OMG, this is just amazing, I thought I was the only one going thru this...and having a hard time dealing with this, etc. VERY glad to hear i'm not. I've read SOOOOO Many things that sound JUST LIKE my ds!! He's LOVED by adults, but not kids, no friends, etc. it's hard on him, cause he does ask me whats wrong with him, and why kids don't like him. How do I answer that? he's SUCH a special little guy, like ALL kids are, and he's very in tune to my feelings and such, it's just amazing some of the things he does. BUT, put a pencil in his hand, and MAN, the fights start. He HATES to write!! His teachers' assistant now isn't giving him excuses on the writing, and he's doing pretty well. IF he concentrates, he can write as good as a first grader, and he's in 4th grade. This year, he had to do a science project, he came up with the idea, did the experiment and everything, now it's time to put it on the backboard, and he's lost interest....what happened there? I guess the fun is over??!! Ah well...just another adventure. Enjoy all...keep the comments coming!!

 

[Minnie M6]

I talked to a Mom who told me that it is possible to get the school to allow the child to type the majority of their assignments if there is an issue with handwriting. I may look into this for DS. I'm still thinking we will not be involving the school in the diagnosis process at this point, but it may not hurt to ask since he is having such a hard time with his handwriting (and the poor teacher has to try and decipher his writing!) I don't want him to hate school and/ or feel bad about himself.

 

[koolaidmoms]

I talked to a Mom who told me that it is possible to get the school to allow the child to type the majority of their assignments if there is an issue with handwriting. I may look into this for DS. I'm still thinking we will not be involving the school in the diagnosis process at this point, but it may not hurt to ask since he is having such a hard time with his handwriting (and the poor teacher has to try and decipher his writing!) I don't want him to hate school and/ or feel bad about himself.

We are going to CSE in a few weeks to get assisted technology added to DS's IEP. We want him to use the computer and possibly an AlphaSmart to type on. He's in K but is typing his book reports at home. We felt they were penalizing him at school because he can do 2 digit addition in his head and tell you the answer but because he can not write it down he has to do the 1+1 = ? Yes, we need to work on handwriting but let's challenge the kid too with where his intellectual ability is.

 

[DisDreaminMom]

My son threw a playdough knife at his Pre-K teacher after one too many rounds of them forcing him to trace his name over and over. He just couldn't take it. I swear writing makes his brain scamble- and I have seen some of the worst tantrums, no- rages, from being forced to process writing. Reading isn't a problem, in general. The teachers at his old school wanted me to practice with him at home but it was such a stressor for him that I stopped for about a year, and now he's much less troubled by it.

He is finally stopping flipping and transposing letters most of the time (he's in 1st grade), but he still hates to write. It looks like cats were trying to climb a wall, his handwriting is so terrible. Written homework can take three times as long as necessary because DS hates to write.

I never let him on my home computer because I thought it would be too frustrating for him, but they have a lot of computer time at his school. He recently asked me (I never thought he had any interest at all) if he could use my computer. Interestingly, he can Google about anything, use Google Earth to zoom in on most European cities, and find kids websites like PBS kids, nick jr. etc. And he's fast on that keyboard! I can see where these kids are much more at home in a tech world than my dinosaur one. I swore I'd never get my kids video games, but I wonder if they wouldn't help him more than hurt him (like a Wii or something, no violence).

What do you do to bok choy to make a small child miss it so? Do tell...

 

[bookwormde]

Bouncy Cat,

Assistive technology services should be able to supply him with a keyboarding system, which might help a lot. Even teachers now recognize that writing, while a needed skill, no longer has the level of import that it used to. Very quickly our children learn that if they show interest or excitement about a subject and the outcome of this is having to do something which is very uncomfortable and difficult at the end that they simply avoid the whole thing.

DisdreamMom

It sound like the Pre-K teacher has either very dated or very limited training in the Autism Spectrum (forcing thing like this is essentially abuse). Has he had OT for fine motor skills and strength building, an evaluation and services can often help a lot with what you describe. Again Assitive technology should be able to supply him with a computer keyboarding system (like Alpha smart), which he is allowed to bring home. I said the same thing about video games (I was afraid we would “loose him into them”) but we finally bought a Wii this year because of the potential for additional physical exercise, although he has not been using much.

bookwormde

 

[BeckyScott]

koolaidmoms- we have a problem with youngest DS and the "doing math in your head" thing too. Since he's a few years older than your DS I'll tell you what happened to us. In kg-1st-2nd grade he didn't like to show his work because he was doing it in his head no problem. I had several discussions with teachers about that. And basically, wanted them to lay off, because the truth is, we have no idea how he's processing that stuff, and I suspected however he's doing it wasn't the same way they were teaching it. Then somewhere around the middle of 2nd grade, they started doing problems where they were carrying or borrowing, and DS was lost. He just didn't "get" it, and now since he hadn't been showing his work, we were starting from scratch. The way I figured it was, while he could memorize basic facts really well, there would come a point (unless he was totally math savant) where he would have to start figuring the problems out on paper at least a little bit. If he somehow could still carry or borrow without writing it down, then maybe it would start when he got to fractions. Or even if it took all the way to algebra, at some point he wasn't going to be able to completely process it in his head. What I told him was, that even though he might not figure out the problems that way, he was going to have to write it down that way for the teacher to count it right.

His handwriting is awful too. He has keyboarding on his IEP, the school recognizes that he will probably need to switch to typing papers in the future. But for now they're just putting up with the messy writing.

 

[mechurchlady]

9 semesters of A in high school math but boy was I shocked when in college I got a D because I was supposedly cheating because I would sit there and solve the math problems in my head. Why should I have to set there writing the equivalent to an essay on how I got where I got.

I am being flooded with the memories of school and what nightmares. I always blamed my changing hands as the reason for my poor penmanship but it was not. Talk about nightmares they used to make left handed kids do everything right handed. For years I had a notch in my finger from holding pens so tight.

Sending hugs and chocolates to everyone and for Becky some coffee.

 

[Earstou]

The reason we finally gave in to a game system was because of the social interaction at school. My ds was begging us for a system and when we said no, he broke down crying, telling us he couldn't talk to the other boys at school. He said they all talked about their games, and he couldn't join in because he didn't know anything about it.
We realized this was another area where he was different from the other kids, so we broke down and helped him buy one.
He got VERY good at racing games, and became known at school as the expert! I was delighted when, as a freshman in hs, older kids were asking advice from him!

 

[koolaidmoms]

koolaidmoms- we have a problem with youngest DS and the "doing math in your head" thing too. Since he's a few years older than your DS I'll tell you what happened to us. In kg-1st-2nd grade he didn't like to show his work because he was doing it in his head no problem. I had several discussions with teachers about that. And basically, wanted them to lay off, because the truth is, we have no idea how he's processing that stuff, and I suspected however he's doing it wasn't the same way they were teaching it. Then somewhere around the middle of 2nd grade, they started doing problems where they were carrying or borrowing, and DS was lost. He just didn't "get" it, and now since he hadn't been showing his work, we were starting from scratch. The way I figured it was, while he could memorize basic facts really well, there would come a point (unless he was totally math savant) where he would have to start figuring the problems out on paper at least a little bit. If he somehow could still carry or borrow without writing it down, then maybe it would start when he got to fractions. Or even if it took all the way to algebra, at some point he wasn't going to be able to completely process it in his head. What I told him was, that even though he might not figure out the problems that way, he was going to have to write it down that way for the teacher to count it right.

His handwriting is awful too. He has keyboarding on his IEP, the school recognizes that he will probably need to switch to typing papers in the future. But for now they're just putting up with the messy writing.

This is why I really want DS to start learning carrying or borrowing now. He understands the facts but to hold him and just keep repeating them in kindergarten because he can not write it down "properly" to me is holding him back. I don't care if he has to make little hash marks for each number but to say that he isn't forming his numbers correctly so he can't go on in math to me isn't right.

We do both typing and writing for book reports - he is only in K. We have him write two or three sentances but if he is typing he has to do much more than that (he is capable). The Developmental Pediatrician when I asked him about handwriting asked me, "Why does he have to learn to write properly other than to sign his name?" Well, because you are supposed to. He told me to start him on keyboarding now that there was no reason to force him to write as society is slowly making the transition to a non- handwritten society anyways. I don't totally agree with this but it has made me relax a great deal on the handwriting issue. Now, if I could get the school to get the same idea that the actual act of writing has become the primary focus not the critical thinking component and they need to switch it around so the critical thinking is the primary component and the physical act of writing the secondary piece.

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Bookworm, the Pre-K where DS was enrolled was in FL. He had OT, but it was the OT that made teacher make him do the tracing. And I completely agree with you- I thought it was abuse. When they started this it was the beginning of his off/on stuttering problem. He's still in OT now, in school in KY and they are much better at dealing with ASD. The training is like Dark Ages versus 22nd Century. It's a shame for all those FL kids.

By the way, DS suddenly began stuttering very badly in early December (I think I posted it), and I just so happened to have a WDW trip planned for the last week of school before X-mas. I thought maybe it would give him time to relax and get out of it. Low and behold, miracle of miracles, it worked. DS has not had a problem since second day of trip. We will see how long it takes him to start again. Even his Special Ed teacher called me to tell me how surprised she was that I was right (I forecasted this would happen).

 

[bookwormde]

DisDreamMom, It still amazes me that so many clinicians and educators still do not realize that anxiety is the primary contributing trigger to almost all manifestations and a big part of behavioral issues.

We had a great private OT for our son who worked on balance, coordination and strength and for his hands did a lot of work with fun things digging items out of a big box of rice, games which worked on fine manipulative skills and worked on grip and overall arm movement. We also used “theraputty” which was good for strength and a relatively innocuous vehicle for anxiety relief.

bookwormde