My SIL Exposed My Mom to Covid

[ShirikiUtundu]

If he was in the hospital with active infection and she got a positive result 8 days ago then no, neither is out of the woods quite yet. I say this with love OP but your mom is out of her mind and making awful decisions! Stay away from all of them!

 

[Mango7100]

SIL is not sick. Just isolating. Mom was keen on getting take-out too so that wasn't too big of an issue, but infuriating that they didn't encourage her to leave it in their enclosed porch. My brother never thinks of others first. My mom will just say "oh well, what was I supposed to do?" when she does something that's not safe/smart and its usually involving her generosity.

I agree...I would be upset with my sibling if they acted this way. There’s no reason to put others in harms way

 

[DLgal]

If he was in the hospital with active infection and she got a positive result 8 days ago then no, neither is out of the woods quite yet. I say this with love OP but your mom is out of her mind and making awful decisions! Stay away from all of them!

The brother and SIL are not "out of the woods", in terms of their own battle against the virus, but neither is still contagious. You are no longer contagious 9 days after you either test positive or begin stop show symptoms. In large scale studies, researchers did not find infectious viral shedding in anyone after 9 days.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Well. The saga continues. My brother is still home with O2 and meds. Last night brother and SIL ask my mom to bring them dinner. My mom goes in their freaking house and not one person is wearing a mask. My mom said, well it was only 5 minutes.

So it gets even better. Mom calls me tonight and says that since SIL has to quarantine that she needs to bring my brother to his doctors appointment on Tuesday. I insisted she not do so, I told her that SIL can bring him as she had to stay in the car anyway. She argued they'd both wear masks. Yeah, I'm sure my brother who can barely breathe will wear a mask during a 30 minute car ride. I told her she was 66 years old that she was putting herself at risk. She told me I was talking to her like a 2 year old and that she'd talk to me when I was more rational.

Am I being unreasonable? I know there has been changing guidelines, but I think she's putting herself in undue risk. She isn't a denier or anti-masker and complains about other people not doing the right thing. My number one concern is that she gets sick and the possible ensuing fallout. The hospitals are pretty much maxed our here and you are on your own if your sick. Who would take care of her? I depend on my income alone and have comorbidities and getting sick could be catastrophic. We've already missed Thanksgiving. It seems like Christmas isn't far behind being cancelled in my family. At this point it's been a month since I've seen my mom and now that she's exposed herself again the clock starts again.

I have an older friend who had seven siblings and talked about dealing with her widowed mother. She told me a mom can raise 8 children but 8 kids can't take care of one mother. Ain't that the truth!

OP, your mom is bing a mom. If you want your mom to stay safe I'd suggest you weigh in pretty heavily on how your mom is hurting you by not being careful, how can't sleep, crying all the time whatever is going on - go with emotion not reason.

I say this as a high risk mom who put myself right in the line of fire when my son came home from early Spring break sick. As a mom I'd rather die then lose a child, it just sort of takes over all other reason so I literally couldn't hear anything else. My daughter pleaded with me and I wouldn't listen and was completely focused on my son until she was crying about how much she needed me too. Only then did it click when I realized my behavior was hurting her too, so in that light I became more focused on me & moved into the basement and he drove himself for testing (turned hout Flu type A) so from experience I'd say go that route and speak to her heart not her head.

 

[ShirikiUtundu]

The brother and SIL are not "out of the woods", in terms of their own battle against the virus, but neither is still contagious. You are no longer contagious 9 days after you either test positive or begin stop show symptoms. In large scale studies, researchers did not find infectious viral shedding in anyone after 9 days.

CDC is still recommending not to be out and about until 10 days after positive test for *most* asymptomatic people and 10 days after first symptoms for most symptomatic people. They recommend waiting longer if the symptoms were more severe, like the ones that put the brother into the hospital. So the 14 days is still a good guideline to use in this case. I know I wouldn't be setting foot into the house of sick people on a "maybe."

 

[FigmentSpark]

Well. The saga continues. My brother is still home with O2 and meds. Last night brother and SIL ask my mom to bring them dinner. My mom goes in their freaking house and not one person is wearing a mask. My mom said, well it was only 5 minutes.

So it gets even better. Mom calls me tonight and says that since SIL has to quarantine that she needs to bring my brother to his doctors appointment on Tuesday. I insisted she not do so, I told her that SIL can bring him as she had to stay in the car anyway. She argued they'd both wear masks. Yeah, I'm sure my brother who can barely breathe will wear a mask during a 30 minute car ride. I told her she was 66 years old that she was putting herself at risk. She told me I was talking to her like a 2 year old and that she'd talk to me when I was more rational.

Am I being unreasonable? I know there has been changing guidelines, but I think she's putting herself in undue risk. She isn't a denier or anti-masker and complains about other people not doing the right thing. My number one concern is that she gets sick and the possible ensuing fallout. The hospitals are pretty much maxed our here and you are on your own if your sick. Who would take care of her? I depend on my income alone and have comorbidities and getting sick could be catastrophic. We've already missed Thanksgiving. It seems like Christmas isn't far behind being cancelled in my family. At this point it's been a month since I've seen my mom and now that she's exposed herself again the clock starts again.

I have an older friend who had seven siblings and talked about dealing with her widowed mother. She told me a mom can raise 8 children but 8 kids can't take care of one mother. Ain't that the truth!

It sounds like your mom is a person who likes to be needed and when one of her children have a need, she's there for them no matter what the cost.

Your BIL DOES have someone to help him, his wife, but he prefers to have your mom, which is selfish on his part. If he weren't so sick, I'd ream him out, but you don't want that to potentially be a last conversation with him, either.

Why not change the conversation with your mother to how much you need her to be healthy so she will be in your life. That you need her to keep herself sake for your family's sake and so that she can be around in the future for both her children.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Why not change the conversation with your mother to how much you need her to be healthy so she will be in your life. That you need her to keep herself sake for your family's sake and so that she can be around in the future for both her children.

That guilt trip would go over just about as well as you'd think if it were my grandmother...Personally I don't think guilt trips belong here but if you know your audience would be receptive to that I suppose it's the option to try.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Your mom is just being a mom. My daughter had covid and I didn’t quarantine well from her. It’s a motherly instinct and I would let her be. She’s an adult that can make her own decisions.

 

[chickapin parterre]

The brother and SIL are not "out of the woods", in terms of their own battle against the virus, but neither is still contagious. You are no longer contagious 9 days after you either test positive or begin stop show symptoms. In large scale studies, researchers did not find infectious viral shedding in anyone after 9 days.

...interesting....so wife was in the national news covid stew all about airports.....and she ate with a stranger that belonged to her grandson....no symptoms but national news said she was going to catch covid....so she went down to get tested...hosptial said no tests unless she had symptoms...she has no symptoms but did everything right to catch covid...so what gives?

 

[DLgal]

...interesting....so wife was in the national news covid stew all about airports.....and she ate with a stranger that belonged to her grandson....no symptoms but national news said she was going to catch covid....so she went down to get tested...hosptial said no tests unless she had symptoms...she has no symptoms but did everything right to catch covid...so what gives?

What?

 

[TipsyTraveler]

What?

Come on @DLgal whats the answer?!?!

 

[jrmasm]

Come on @DLgal whats the answer?!?!

Purple

 

[DLgal]

Come on @DLgal whats the answer?!?!

The answer is: put down the liquor bottle.

 

[TLSnell1981]

The answer is: put down the liquor bottle.

You know it's they only preventative currently available...multiple uses! JK