home school? what would you do?

[cayennews]

I homeschooled my son for a couple of years and might do so again in the future. It is a wonderful thing.

My neice is in high school and has an extremely high level of anxiety, so they decided to do homeschooling, but she is also extremely social, so though she is considered a homeschool student, she opts to go into her local high school for 2 classes a day. It is flexible and has worked out well. I would consider it for your child. I would not want them to be uncomfortable at school when they could get the same education at home in a non-threatening environment.

 

[tvguy]

You mentioned your daughter has a therapist but have you spoken to a social worker or counselor at the school? Most schools today have at least one on staff. It maybe part of the Guidance Department or the school nurse's office.

Wow, we haven't had school nurses here in over 20 years. Great that some schools have even more resources.

 

[NYCgrrl]

The only suggestion I can think for this disheartening problem is to discuss this issue with her therapist. The therapist is a professional and should better know what and how to direct you.

 

[Rogue1677x]

My husband was homeschooled from grade 3 onward because public school was dumbing him down. His sisters were not even put into public school, went right into homeschool because that's what they were already doing, but had activities set up with different clubs, etc.

As for the bullying, my daughter was the protector for so many in her "friend group", but when she had a bad day, they were nowhere to be found. For some people, it takes time to make friends and perhaps when she's outside of high school that will happen.

My daughter is now in college and has a small group of friends of varying ages now.

I wish you and your daughter the best of luck.

 

[piglet1979]

I know a few people that pulled their kids out of public school and put them in private school because of the bullying. Our middle school is horrible for this and that is when a lot leave. They have all said how happy their child is now that they are at the private school. 2 of my aunts and a few friends have homeschooled their kids and were very happy with that. There are benefits to each.

While you are researching what is next for your daughter, I think you can either threaten the school with going to the police (it might get their attention more) or go to the police since their is physical harm. If she has marks from the incident today, you should take pictures to have as proof. Have you gone to the superintendent? If the school is not doing anything then that would be my next step as well.

 

[Pink Partridge]

My nephew was bullied so horribly. He is a timid, shy, quiet kid. But he is a damn good kid. Sometimes these bad kids focus on the perceived weak. They are like animals. Today's bullying isn't like bullying of days gone by. It involves social media and the privilege of harassing anonymously. It's harsh and criminal. It can really push the victim over the edge.

I would homeschool if you can. Virtual charter schools are everywhere. Get her involved outside of home school too. Whether it be sports, lessons, or a job. But don't let her suffer at the hands of others.

 

[Pink Partridge]

Yes, I understand kids are mean, but what's going to happen when she encounters mean people in her career?

If they are as terrible as some of these kids. the co-workers would be fired. Some of the things kids do today is downright criminal. You can't harass people at work. I don't know why kids are allowed to get away with it.

 

[eandt]

Body cams on teachers and/or cameras in class rooms that can be monitored by parents puts an end to a lot of the BS going on …

 

[hulagirl87]

The only suggestion I can think for this disheartening problem is to discuss this issue with her therapist. The therapist is a professional and should better know what and how to direct you.

she's the one that tells me not to give in and homeschool because DD will learn that she can manipulate. In the process of looking for another therapist, not only because I don't feel like this one is the right fit, but she doesn't take insurance and while I would do anything for DD, $120 for 50 minutes is really beginning to be a struggle financially.

 

[hulagirl87]

Body cams on teachers and/or cameras in class rooms that can be monitored by parents puts an end to a lot of the BS going on …

that would be amazing! can you imagine

 

[hulagirl87]

The first quote above is particularly concerning and needs to be addressed immediately. Whether with the school, DD's therapist, or elsewhere. Please, my community recently lost a young girl, your daughter is begging for help and you need to find it for her now.

You mentioned your daughter has a therapist but have you spoken to a social worker or counselor at the school? Most schools today have at least one on staff. It maybe part of the Guidance Department or the school nurse's office. Alternatively, have you spoken with her (non-school) therapist so that person knows the extent of your daughter's distress. If nothing else please call the national 9-8-8 hotline and ask for suggestions how to help her in the immediate timeframe.

She has a therapist that we talk with. And we have gone in and talked with the school psychologist, her counselor, and the assistant principal. Many people are aware what is going on.

 

[LuvOrlando]

What on earth does it mean to not give in to home schooling because then she gets her way? That's a crazy thing to say and to assume a kid being bullied is trying to manipulate things to feel safe is just bananas. Normal humans avoid abuse, I thought we were done with the idiocy of teaching kids to tough it out?

I think it is a mistake to not take peer abuse seriously, suicide is a real issue and kids are getting younger. From what you describe this isn't a blip, it sounds systematic and the damage can follow a kid their whole life, for what? A bunch of strangers she'll never talk to again? One of the kids in my neighborhood switched to homeschool and was much happier so I would move towards homeschool and at the same time talk to her pediatrician, see where they land. It's not as if you can't reverse it.

What no-one tells you is that schools lose funding for homeschool kids, do what you feel is best for your kid or at the very least find one of those alternative schools and break the cycle.

 

[TwoMisfits]

she's the one that tells me not to give in and homeschool because DD will learn that she can manipulate. In the process of looking for another therapist, not only because I don't feel like this one is the right fit, but she doesn't take insurance and while I would do anything for DD, $120 for 50 minutes is really beginning to be a struggle financially.

Fire the therapist. If she's heard about the physical abuse of your daughter and decided on that line of advice (your daughter is "manipulating"), that's almost criminal on her part as well.

 

[mjkacmom]

It's concerning that the school won't address issues that include physical harm. Sounds like a few kids getting some suspensions would do the whole school some good.

One of my daughters was bully by a group of mean girls freshman year, my daughter had the nerve to date a junior who’s ex was a female senior. The school contacted me. Name calling, slammed into lockers, I’m guessing social media. Girls were suspended, and that made things worse (one of the girls dad was a cop in town who gave the annual bully assembly). They came to track and soccer practice to yell at her. I contacted the counselor, but my daughter told me that if I ever did that again she wouldn’t tell me anything anymore. She just rode it out. Fortunately she had a very strong friend group of 10, was on the track and soccer team, is #4 out of 5 kids with siblings who had a ton of friends, she had 2 with her in the HS). My point is, many times there isn’t much schools can do (although ours tried, but it made things worse).

 

[mjkacmom]

she's the one that tells me not to give in and homeschool because DD will learn that she can manipulate. In the process of looking for another therapist, not only because I don't feel like this one is the right fit, but she doesn't take insurance and while I would do anything for DD, $120 for 50 minutes is really beginning to be a struggle financially.

If it makes you feel better, my son’s therapist is $225 for 45 minutes, virtual. For 4 years now.

 

[barkley]

Wow, we haven't had school nurses here in over 20 years. Great that some schools have even more resources.

only 22 states require school nurses-california is not one of them. on the social worker aspect-they have them but they tend to be assigned to multiple schools within a district b/c while the recommended ratio is 1 social worker for every 250 students it more frequently is 1 social worker for several thousands of students (and for decades it has been much more marketable for a school 'counselor' to not only hold california's credentials for that but also an MSW so that a district can hire them and get more bang for the buck on mandated staff).

 

[MamaMermaid]

High school teacher here -- so sorry this is happening to your daughter. I know it's heartbreaking.

I'd see if there was a virtual option. I'm not sure what state you're in but in Florida we have Florida Virtual School which is free and classes are taught by real, certified teachers.

If you feel things are truly BAD, I'd give homeschooling a try next year. She can always re-enroll in public school if she isn't happy. I think it's essential she stays involved in the extracurriculars you have her in for socialization, though.

I hope things get better.

 

[Music City Mama]

That's such a good thing that she trusts you and feels comfortable enough to communicate her feelings to you. Like others have mentioned, I'd look to see what other options you have. I'd probably start with your state's Department of Education website. It should have different sections for public, private, homeschool, and online schools. If you do a national online school program, you'll need to make sure it's accredited in your state, which is very important in case she chooses to go back and needs those credits transferred. Good luck with your decision!

 

[Kooks and Bay Bay]

First get a new therapist yours sounds like a quack.

Letting her be home schooled is not "letting her get her way".

But that being said I don't really know if that's the right thing to do.

Sounds as though your concerns are falling on deaf ears or the bullies would have been properly dealt with.
Get an advocate like her therapist involved and contact district office to set up and meeting and request that they take care of this.
Depending on what the bullying is contact the police.

But also she needs to know that just because these bullies are finally dealt with that does not mean something like this won't happen in the future so she does need to learn how to cope and handle it.

And as much as she may think this part is "lame" please ask the admin or staff to see about maybe introducing her to some of the other kids that either need a friend themself or are known for being inviting to others. Maybe even someone in a different grade if the bullying is happening with only her classmates.
Usually schools are very good about knowing who could be a good fit to form a friendship.
in 6th grade I always sat alone because my friends were on other teams and at lunch they had a dumb rule that you couldn't sit in another teams section.
So a lunch monitor ended up introducing me to what ended up being a very good friend for several years.

 

[sam_gordon]

She has a therapist that we talk with. And we have gone in and talked with the school psychologist, her counselor, and the assistant principal. Many people are aware what is going on.

What is the response from the school? Do they acknowledge the harassment is happening, they're just not seeing it?