Goody bag question for kids party

[magicfan]

I am having a birthday party next weekend for my DD. Most of the people around here never bother to RSVP so I have no idea how many goody bags to make up. I just assumed everyone would come (just to be safe) and made enough goody bags for each invited guest----8 guests. Now my DD is telling me that her friends are making comments to her about bringing their siblings. Some have two siblings. As I said, no one has called to RSVP. In the past, most of the people have shown up, even though they did not RSVP. I do not have phone numbers for for a lot of these kids we invited, so I can't call them. And, the ones I do have numbers for, I would feel a bit strange calling them, when they are suppose to call me to RSVP. Anyway, most of the party favors I bought for the goody bags came in packs 8, which made it easy to do the goody bags since that's how many people we invited. But, in the chance that someone might bring a sibling, do you think I should run out and buy more of the party favors? It stinks that I would have to buy more packs of 8 of each favor, then be stuck with leftovers. Each pack is about $3.99. I don't know if I should make a few extra and put different things in them, where I wouldn't have to buy packs of 8 of each toy, but then the child might get upset that they didn't get the same toys/favors.

What would you do?? I really need to figure this out. I wish people would just RSVP.

 

[mickeyboat]

I would definitely call the people whose numbers you have. It's rude not to RSVP and they should let you know one way or another.

Is it possible to send a reminder through school to the other people who are invited?

I hate to say this, but you should probably get some more things for goody bags, just in case. For principle it would be nice to not give bags to uninvited guests, but it's not the kids' fault that the parents are rude.

Good luck and hope you have a good time at the party.

Denae

 

[mommytotwo]

I don't like it when people don't rsvp either and for my daughter's party last month, I did have to ask if certain guests would attend or not. It's a weird feeling, but I did ask for an rsvp.
I didn't know how many kids would attend, so I had made extra goodie bags and was left with over 8 that were not given out.It's better to have those extras, just in case other kids do show up.

 

[magicfan]

Thanks. Your right, better to have extra's than not enough. It's just annoying that some people will not RSVP AND invite their other kiids along on top of it.
I'm okay with the other kids coming, it's just that it would be nice if the parents would let me know, so I can have enough party favors, food, place settings,etc.. We don't know if my DD's friends are just saying their siblings are coming because they really are, or just saying it because they are young---and you know how young kids say things that may or may not be true.

A couple of the siblings that "may or may not come" are boys, so I will now have to buy different party favors/toys for those bags, as we are having a princess themed party.

 

[WDWFAN9]

I guess I must be getting old (my kids are 18-28) but there is no way I would provide goody bags for siblings of invited guests, especially if the invited guest didn't even RSVP. Back in the day when my kids were having b-day parties guests sibling did not attend. They might have stayed because the parent was staying (think Showbiz Pizza Place) but they were not included in the party. I think providing extras "enables" the rudeness. Hey, if you didn't RSVP the invited guest is lucky to get a bag!!

 

[golfgal]

I have to agree, have goodie bags for those kids that were invited and if they bring siblings, the sibling is out of luck. Their "goodie" was that they got to go to a party, have cake, play the games, whatever. I am always dumbfounded when I hear that people send siblings to parties uninvited. I would NEVER even think to do that!

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I guess I must be getting old (my kids are 18-28) but there is no way I would provide goody bags for siblings of invited guests, especially if the invited guest didn't even RSVP. Back in the day when my kids were having b-day parties guests sibling did not attend. They might have stayed because the parent was staying (think Showbiz Pizza Place) but they were not included in the party. I think providing extras "enables" the rudeness. Hey, if you didn't RSVP the invited guest is lucky to get a bag!!

Same here. I might have a bag of lollipops or something on hand to give one to siblings, even if they just came in with a parent to pick up the guest.

 

[suzannen]

I would not give goodie bags to uninvited and non-RSVPing guests. I think it gives a mixed message to our kids that we give "goodies" for BAD and rude behavior. (Although, if you do feel really guilty about it, the lollipop idea is a very nice and generous compromise.)

 

[Kae]

I am amazed people would bring their siblings, Let alone not RSVP. I think it comes down to what makes you free comfortable. Sounds like you are a nice person.

Kae

 

[MoniqueU]

I think the lollipop idea solves your problem right there. Genious!

 

[m&m's mom]

Well, believe me it is easier said than done to exclude syblings.
My DD had her 6th birthday party 2 weeks ago. We invited her whole Kindergarten class, which was about 20 kids.
I did not get about a fourth of the reponses. One person asked if it was ok to bring the kids older sister or their son could not go as their father was a coach and gone on the weekends. I said it was fine if the sibling came.
Well that siblings fully expected to participate in the entire activities (pony rides, petting zoo etc.) of the party. I was fine for her to be there but since she was older she kinda took over. She took one of the craft kits for the kindergarteners, took cake and ice cream and then took a goody bag!
And before anyone says I allowed it - I was outside w/ the ponies and coming back and forth while my DM was helping the kids w/ the crafts.
It is extremely awkward to tell a sibling they can't participate in the middle of the party.
The next weekend there was another party for another kid in their class and sure enough, here was sister eating the pizza, eating cake, and taking a set of tokens to play the games. Who does not know this is rude?
OP - I say get the number of goody bags as you invited and then there won't be anything taken by the sibling.

Just thought of something else - One time I did ask someone if I could bring 1 sibling to their childs party. I told DD before hand that we would do something special w/ her after the party - but it was not her friend and she could not participate. Worked for us.

 

[jamzots]

This makes me laugh .. I had a christening for my baby son about 3 weeks ago and I invited about 60 people, received 30 responses. Did I call the other people.... nope, did they show up?? nope.. Meanwhile I was stuck with way too much food that I had catered, and way too big of a tent. There is no excuse for this kind of rudeness, but we had a great day anyway and hell will freeze over before I attend another event for any of these people again. (I go to everything whether its an inconvenience or not.) Anyway, I would have the amount of goodybags on hand for the guests that were invited, whether they show up or not, and then make up a couple of extra cheaper goodybags, maybe with just candy or something for the siblings. That's my opinion!!

 

[magicfan]

I appreciate the replies. It's a hard call.

Just out of curiosity, what would you say if when you handed out the goody bags, a sibling got very upset at not getting one...or just getting a lolli pop (which is a great idea, by the way)? Do I say right there in front of the parent that they were not the invited guest so they don't get one? I dont think I could actually say that. That would be hard.

I don't understand why I can't have a small party for just a few girls my DD's age. The few girls that she chose to invite. When my child gets invited somewhere it doesn't even cross my mind to send my other child, too. I guess times are really changing.

I forgot to add: We are having a pinata and I hope the older siblings don't get everything!! And, they will hit it last, if they participate so they don't break it open before the little ones get a chance.

 

[coinkc]

One thing that I have done is to put the kid's names on the goody bags before the party. This way it is obvious who they are for and prevents the sibling from grabbing a bag before the invited guests get one.

 

[PaulaSue]

That is my pet peeve. I call people and IF mentioned by parent (to bring a sibling) I let them know that ONLY the DC was invited because I have a limited number of seats. One time someone showed up with a sibling and I mentioned to them to have fun with one on one time with the sibling and to come back at "certain" time to pick up DC. Also to fill out the sheet with emergency phone number if the would be a problem.

For our friends party I do invite siblings and DHs too. Just with inviting the whole class I don't have room for too many kids in my small house.

 

[golfgal]

I appreciate the replies. It's a hard call.

Just out of curiosity, what would you say if when you handed out the goody bags, a sibling got very upset at not getting one...or just getting a lolli pop (which is a great idea, by the way)? Do I say right there in front of the parent that they were not the invited guest so they don't get one? I dont think I could actually say that. That would be hard.

I don't understand why I can't have a small party for just a few girls my DD's age. The few girls that she chose to invite. When my child gets invited somewhere it doesn't even cross my mind to send my other child, too. I guess times are really changing.

I forgot to add: We are having a pinata and I hope the older siblings don't get everything!! And, they will hit it last, if they participate so they don't break it open before the little ones get a chance.

If it were me I would just say to the child that you just have goodie bags for the kids that were invited to the party and leave it at that. It isn't your responsibility to explain that to the child, that would be the rude parent's job!

 

[aprilgail2]

This happened at my daughters party 2 years i na row too....the first one the kids older brother came and sat down at the table, had pizza, took tokens for the games and at the end came up to me and said "where is my goodie bag"....I said "sorry, only had enough for the little kids"...
This year I am not giving goodie bags..I hate getting them, especially the ones filled with all the little crap, gooy hands, super ball, bubbles, little rings and crap...I am giving each boy a skateboard and each girl this thing that you put on your ankle and jump over....I got them all at CVS when all the summer stuff was on clearance so it costs the same as a bag of crap but at least its just one big thing.

 

[magicfan]

I don't like the goody bag's either. Most of the time it is "crap"....your right. Who decided we need to make those anyway?!

 

[mom2grace]

I appreciate the replies. It's a hard call.

Just out of curiosity, what would you say if when you handed out the goody bags, a sibling got very upset at not getting one...or just getting a lolli pop (which is a great idea, by the way)? Do I say right there in front of the parent that they were not the invited guest so they don't get one? I dont think I could actually say that. That would be hard.

I don't understand why I can't have a small party for just a few girls my DD's age. The few girls that she chose to invite. When my child gets invited somewhere it doesn't even cross my mind to send my other child, too. I guess times are really changing.

I forgot to add: We are having a pinata and I hope the older siblings don't get everything!! And, they will hit it last, if they participate so they don't break it open before the little ones get a chance.

You will probably have to stuff the pinata yourself. Preportion everything into ziploc bags and then stuff those in the pinata. That way, everyone gets the same. And, this could be the goody bag as well.

I would NOT buy boy things for goodie bags for uninvited siblings!

At my kids school (pre-k), you cannot distribute invitations at school, you have to mail them, they provide address lists (you can opt out of the list if you want). This at least takes some of the pressure off of the teachers.

 

[clh2]

I wouldn't get extra goodie bages. No way, no how.

Of course, if I was going to get extra stuff, it would be the girlie-girl princess stuff, all pink etc. I definitely would not make the extra effort to get boy-themed goody bags.

One of the favorite ideas I've heard for getting RSVP's was to not give directions/address to the party location until they did RSVP. I think I heard that here on the DIS.