Do you give to beggars?

[AnnaS]

I have here and there. Not something that happens too often.

 

[Hikergirl]

Actually, I'm far more concerned with how charitable organizations spend their money than I am any random individual on the street. I would be much more upset to learn an organization had exploited vulnerable populations in order to take advantage of the kindness of its donors so that a few at the top could get rich than I would to know the homeless guy didn't spend the $5 I gave him in the most responsible way.

I'm not blind to the realities of homelessness. I interacted with the homeless on a daily basis when I worked in DC and my DH spent many years working for one of the largest homeless outreach programs in the city that provided medical, dental, housing, and job training. I understand there's a disproportionate number of homeless people suffering from addiction and/or mental illness as compared to the general population. But just because that's true doesn't mean that every homeless person is just trying to get their next fix and I'm not going to refuse a small handout based on what someone might do with it. Would I purposely give someone money to buy meth on the spot? No, because that drug scares me and I wouldn't want to be the one responsible for supplying something that might kill someone. Weed? Eh, not my thing but it's halfway legal at this point and would it really bother me that much? Alcohol? I don't know, is the guy a raging alcoholic or does he just want to indulge in a cocktail like anyone else? Cigarettes? Well, those used to be my vice and I have given them to homeless people before. Soda, fast food? Gee, shouldn't he find something more nutritious to spend my money on? I'm a vegan -- If I give him money will he spend it on a ham sandwich? See, It just gets ridiculous to even go down this rabbit hole of analyzing what someone may or may not do with my spare change. I'm not going to waste the mental energy on it. I see giving to a stranger to be a small act of kindness on my part and not much more. I'm not in the habit of trying to predict who might spend the money how and whether those few dollars are used for something helpful or harmful, it's such a small amount it's unlikely to make much of an impact either way.

I don't over analyze anything, alot of homeless people are addicts. You can contribute to that if you want, I won't. So if that means I give them a water bottle instead of $5 at least I know that if they end up dead in an alley somewhere someday it wasn't with my help.
Obviously you don't care about that as long as you aren't perceived as micromanaging their money. I'd rather help an addict than contribute to one.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I don't over analyze anything, alot of homeless people are addicts. You can contribute to that if you want, I won't. So if that means I give them a water bottle instead of $5 at least I know that if they end up dead in an alley somewhere someday it wasn't with my help.
Obviously you don't care about that as long as you aren't perceived as micromanaging their money. I'd rather help an addict than contribute to one.

You're making the assumption that every homeless person is going to spend the money you give them on drugs; I'm not. That's the difference.

 

[Hikergirl]

You're making the assumption that every homeless person is going to spend the money you give them on drugs; I'm not. That's the difference.

No I'm not, I'm making the assumption that if they are a user than the money I give them will be used for drugs. I am not willing to support anyone doing drugs, so nobody gets my cash.

 

[arminnie]

NEVER EVER EVER. That's what decades of living in the San Francisco area will do to one.

But I have a subsidized apartment building literally in my backyard. I have made many friends there and do a lot to help alleviate their food insecurity. Nobody has unlimited resources (well except maybe Bill Gates). I prefer to use what limited funds I have to help those who really need it.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

NEVER EVER EVER. That's what decades of living in the San Francisco area will do to one.

But I have a subsidized apartment building literally in my backyard. I have made many friends there and do a lot to help alleviate their food insecurity. Nobody has unlimited resources (well except maybe Bill Gates). I prefer to use what limited funds I have to help those who really need it.

I know many people that have lived in San Francisco their entire lives who don't feel that way. I'm not saying you don't have the right to your decision.

 

[aristocatz]

Actually, I'm far more concerned with how charitable organizations spend their money than I am any random individual on the street. I would be much more upset to learn an organization had exploited vulnerable populations in order to take advantage of the kindness of its donors so that a few at the top could get rich than I would to know the homeless guy didn't spend the $5 I gave him in the most responsible way.

I'm not blind to the realities of homelessness. I interacted with the homeless on a daily basis when I worked in DC and my DH spent many years working for one of the largest homeless outreach programs in the city that provided medical, dental, housing, and job training. I understand there's a disproportionate number of homeless people suffering from addiction and/or mental illness as compared to the general population. But just because that's true doesn't mean that every homeless person is just trying to get their next fix and I'm not going to refuse a small handout based on what someone might do with it. Would I purposely give someone money to buy meth on the spot? No, because that drug scares me and I wouldn't want to be the one responsible for supplying something that might kill someone. Weed? Eh, not my thing but it's halfway legal at this point and would it really bother me that much? Alcohol? I don't know, is the guy a raging alcoholic or does he just want to indulge in a cocktail like anyone else? Cigarettes? Well, those used to be my vice and I have given them to homeless people before. Soda, fast food? Gee, shouldn't he find something more nutritious to spend my money on? I'm a vegan -- If I give him money will he spend it on a ham sandwich? See, It just gets ridiculous to even go down this rabbit hole of analyzing what someone may or may not do with my spare change. I'm not going to waste the mental energy on it. I see giving to a stranger to be a small act of kindness on my part and not much more. I'm not in the habit of trying to predict who might spend the money how and whether those few dollars are used for something helpful or harmful, it's such a small amount it's unlikely to make much of an impact either way.

Very well said.

 

[LSUmiss]

Actually, I'm far more concerned with how charitable organizations spend their money than I am any random individual on the street. I would be much more upset to learn an organization had exploited vulnerable populations in order to take advantage of the kindness of its donors so that a few at the top could get rich than I would to know the homeless guy didn't spend the $5 I gave him in the most responsible way.

I'm not blind to the realities of homelessness. I interacted with the homeless on a daily basis when I worked in DC and my DH spent many years working for one of the largest homeless outreach programs in the city that provided medical, dental, housing, and job training. I understand there's a disproportionate number of homeless people suffering from addiction and/or mental illness as compared to the general population. But just because that's true doesn't mean that every homeless person is just trying to get their next fix and I'm not going to refuse a small handout based on what someone might do with it. Would I purposely give someone money to buy meth on the spot? No, because that drug scares me and I wouldn't want to be the one responsible for supplying something that might kill someone. Weed? Eh, not my thing but it's halfway legal at this point and would it really bother me that much? Alcohol? I don't know, is the guy a raging alcoholic or does he just want to indulge in a cocktail like anyone else? Cigarettes? Well, those used to be my vice and I have given them to homeless people before. Soda, fast food? Gee, shouldn't he find something more nutritious to spend my money on? I'm a vegan -- If I give him money will he spend it on a ham sandwich? See, It just gets ridiculous to even go down this rabbit hole of analyzing what someone may or may not do with my spare change. I'm not going to waste the mental energy on it. I see giving to a stranger to be a small act of kindness on my part and not much more. I'm not in the habit of trying to predict who might spend the money how and whether those few dollars are used for something helpful or harmful, it's such a small amount it's unlikely to make much of an impact either way.

I think it just boils down to optimism & being jaded. I agree with Much of what you said. However, I’m in the camp that I don’t give at all b/c they might (but IMO-probably) be scamming and/or buying drugs. But, that’s part of seeing things to confirm this opinion & being jaded.

 

[luvsJack]

I don't know if this will explain how the pp feels to anyone but I see it like my son showed me once. (And I may be totally off base here so correct me if I am wrong Tipsy).

We were at Walmart one day and DS went out to the car before me. He saw a homeless guy on a bicycle in the parking lot,pushing the bike and limping. The guy walked by DS and he had his pants leg rolled up and his leg was bleeding. DS spoke to him and the guy told him that a car had bumped him and made him fall off his bike. He didn't have any money to get bandages or anything to put on his leg. DS gave him some money and told him to go get what he needed. DS said later that the guy may have gone in and bought a 12 pack but he gave the money with the intention to help him, what the guy did with it is on him. I was impressed with his way of thinking and have thought a lot about that. It's my place to try and help what choice someone makes to do with that help is on them.

Seems like most of the drug addicts in our town spend their time shoplifting not panhandling

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I don't know if this will explain how the pp feels to anyone but I see it like my son showed me once. (And I may be totally off base here so correct me if I am wrong Tipsy).

We were at Walmart one day and DS went out to the car before me. He saw a homeless guy on a bicycle in the parking lot,pushing the bike and limping. The guy walked by DS and he had his pants leg rolled up and his leg was bleeding. DS spoke to him and the guy told him that a car had bumped him and made him fall off his bike. He didn't have any money to get bandages or anything to put on his leg. DS gave him some money and told him to go get what he needed. DS said later that the guy may have gone in and bought a 12 pack but he gave the money with the intention to help him, what the guy did with it is on him. I was impressed with his way of thinking and have thought a lot about that. It's my place to try and help what choice someone makes to do with that help is on them.

Seems like most of the drug addicts in our town spend their time shoplifting not panhandling

I purposely didn't bold the first part of that sentence because I don't want to make it sound like I'm on some noble mission to eradicate homelessness $5 at a time. Like I said earlier in the thread, it's been ages since I can remember even being approached for money and there have been plenty of times where I declined a request for whatever reasons. But there have also been times where I have given money and I've never worried about how it might be spent because, ultimately, the bolded is true. Adults are responsible for their own choices, even addicts. I don't know what percentage of homeless people are addicts but I know 100% of them need to eat, so there's still a decent chance "my" money isn't being spent on drugs no matter their sober status.

 

[amberpi]

Yep. Associated with my domestic violence/women's shelter work, we partner closely with AA/NA; I have occasion to be at one of their fellowship halls not infrequently. It's in the hood. I don't know if the people that ask me for handouts are waiting for or have just been to a meeting (we're not there when they're having another group meet despite them having many rooms), but I hope those guys get the help they are seeking. Could I be contributing to something bad? Sure. Could I be helping out someone that's truly trying to turn their lives around? Yep. I've seen it. I hate the cynicism I see and hear from who haven't struggled as much as so many of those overcoming addiction/trauma/abuse/poverty, etc. I'm not naive, but I refuse to be jaded and seeing people overcome terrible stuff I can't imagine all the time makes me a believer in the good of most people.

ETA: I don't give to the aggressive ones though, it always feels threatening, like in the Target parking lot, but that rarely happens. My most frequent encounters with beggars is in the situation described above.

 

[LSUmiss]

Yep. Associated with my domestic violence/women's shelter work, we partner closely with AA/NA; I have occasion to be at one of their fellowship halls not infrequently. It's in the hood. I don't know if the people that ask me for handouts are waiting for or have just been to a meeting (we're not there when they're having another group meet despite them having many rooms), but I hope those guys get the help they are seeking. Could I be contributing to something bad? Sure. Could I be helping out someone that's truly trying to turn their lives around? Yep. I've seen it. I hate the cynicism I see and hear from who haven't struggled as much as so many of those overcoming addiction/trauma/abuse/poverty, etc. I'm not naive, but I refuse to be jaded and seeing people overcome terrible stuff I can't imagine all the time makes me a believer in the good of most people.

My cynicism comes from years of professional experience & first hand knowledge. It’s not just from watching the news or something. I understand the circumstances that often lead to the situations ppl find themselves in but am less optimistic about their ability or motivation to overcome these circumstances past a certain point in many cases. I still believe in programs that work for prevention & mitigation of circumstances that lead ppl down these paths. But, I am very pessimistic about it past a certain point. I don’t think it’s impossible, but I am absolutely cynical most of the time. I really wish I weren’t so jaded & I wasn’t always, but I have seen too much.

 

[amberpi]

My cynicism comes from years of professional experience & first hand knowledge. It’s not just from watching the news or something. I understand the circumstances that often lead to the situations ppl find themselves in but am less optimistic about their ability or motivation to overcome these circumstances past a certain point in many cases. I still believe in programs that work for prevention & mitigation of circumstances that lead ppl down these paths. But, I am very pessimistic about it past a certain point. I don’t think it’s impossible, but I am absolutely cynical most of the time. I really wish I weren’t so jaded & I wasn’t always, but I have seen too much.

I don't know if I could be so rosy if I did social work professionally. My little 8-10 hours a week lifts me up but can break your heart. I might not feel the way I do if I was more exposed. I'm certainly not judging what others do, it doesn't have a thing in the world to do with me. I simply have chosen, purposefully, to look at and focus on all the good things I see in the world; not with blinders, but with consciousness. I know that some of the guys I give money to could very well go to the liquor store with that $5, but I'll take a gamble that instead they get on a bus to go to a meeting across town or an interview.

 

[Sepo]

Imho, where you fall on this has a decent, at least mild, correlative value with where you've lived and what you've experienced in frequency. It's hard not to get righteous bc this exposes our core beliefs.

I think nearly everyone here wouldn't hesitate to give to anyone in 'true' need. it's the realities of the situation and the viable alternatives that cloud the picture.

Personally. I used to always give, or buy food directly for, and volunteered in the shelter a ton in my younger days.

Now, perhaps sadly, I'm jaded. I wish I were that trusting person again. Living in the city previously for decades, working in the city still, seeing the scams firsthand, its sobering. The limping person on the corner can make upwards of $70/hr, conservatively. There are more egregious scenarios too. Some folks are obviously deserving and downtrodden by circumstance or mental illness. Support services are weak but they do exist. Even though charities can be corrupt, I now predominantly give there and try to settle on the ratings for direction. I'll still on occasion add a cheeseburger coming out of a city McDonalds to give a regular who panhandles nearby. That's direct lunch at least.

I'm not sure I'm right, but it's what I've evolved to. When the kids see the people on the corner it's harder to explain. The youngest thinks it should be as simple as Aladdin and Abu giving their bread to the hungry.

 

[powellrj]

I use to, but now I just give to our local homeless shelter.

 

[Skywalker]

Actually, I'm far more concerned with how charitable organizations spend their money than I am any random individual on the street. I would be much more upset to learn an organization had exploited vulnerable populations in order to take advantage of the kindness of its donors so that a few at the top could get rich than I would to know the homeless guy didn't spend the $5 I gave him in the most responsible way.

I'm not blind to the realities of homelessness. I interacted with the homeless on a daily basis when I worked in DC and my DH spent many years working for one of the largest homeless outreach programs in the city that provided medical, dental, housing, and job training. I understand there's a disproportionate number of homeless people suffering from addiction and/or mental illness as compared to the general population. But just because that's true doesn't mean that every homeless person is just trying to get their next fix and I'm not going to refuse a small handout based on what someone might do with it. Would I purposely give someone money to buy meth on the spot? No, because that drug scares me and I wouldn't want to be the one responsible for supplying something that might kill someone. Weed? Eh, not my thing but it's halfway legal at this point and would it really bother me that much? Alcohol? I don't know, is the guy a raging alcoholic or does he just want to indulge in a cocktail like anyone else? Cigarettes? Well, those used to be my vice and I have given them to homeless people before. Soda, fast food? Gee, shouldn't he find something more nutritious to spend my money on? I'm a vegan -- If I give him money will he spend it on a ham sandwich? See, It just gets ridiculous to even go down this rabbit hole of analyzing what someone may or may not do with my spare change. I'm not going to waste the mental energy on it. I see giving to a stranger to be a small act of kindness on my part and not much more. I'm not in the habit of trying to predict who might spend the money how and whether those few dollars are used for something helpful or harmful, it's such a small amount it's unlikely to make much of an impact either way.

I wouldn't be concerned about cigarettes and ham sandwiches either. The reality is that most of the people begging are either scamming or doing it to buy drugs. The scammers can always find more legitimate means of help and the drug addicts are a bottomless pit. Either way giving them cash is just being an enabler. Why would someone struggle to get clean when it is easier to have strangers hand you cash.

 

[Miumiu4me]

I used to be an attorney for the poor. I had the job for a number of years and I still recognize many of the local homeless population. I often buy stuff for the local homeless people and I try to speak to with when I have time. I do give people cash when I have it, but I rarely carry cash. I don't care how they spend it. The $5 I hand someone won't cure homelessness, but it may temporarily brighten someone's day.

Homelessness happens to a wide array of individuals, not all of them are addicts or scammers. Some are, of course, and there are a number of chronic homeless people that are mentally ill as well. It's a sad situation and the local charities really aren't equipped to handle them.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I see them regularly. They seem to stand on the concrete medians. I do not give them anything. It is just awkward.

 

[Sleepy425]

I keep granola bars in my car to give out. If I see the same person consistently and I have time, I will tell them to meet me at a local restaurant and will get them something to eat. My last "homeless friend" was very excited when I pulled up last time - he wanted to tell me he found a job and would be gone in a few days. I was very happy for him.

 

[TheFloatingBear]

It's situational for me, but in recent years I am more concerned about giving my money to people directly. The opioid crisis has really increased in my area in recent years, resulting in increases in pan-handling and in certain types of crime, especially daytime break-ins. But my larger concern is an increase in stories locally about 1.) children being put at-risk when the parents are using, and 2.) police and other first responders being put at-risk medically by exposure to synthetic drugs when responding to overdoses. It makes me more hesitant to give directly.

I was in social services for years, so a measure of both cynicism and optimism comes with that, I think - sounds contradictory but I don't know how else to describe it. But I also feel like I have a good handle on the local charities I support with my time and money. It's tough...