Do annoying people know they're annoying?

[buzzrelly]

I started thinking about this because there is one particular girl on Survivor that seems to annoy people. The other castaways seem annoyed with her and there are more than a few people over on that thread who are annoyed by her, including myself.

In real life, I work with the most annoying person…she kind of hops back and forth into a Leadership position when it suits her, i.e., when she wants to get out of working Christmas Day. Nobody hates her, she's not a bad person, but in general, every time she talks, you can just feel everyone's eyes rolling.

One of my daughter's friend's moms is SUPER annoying…constantly posting irritating stuff on Facebook, such as "Why does this stuff always happen to me?!" When in reality, bad stuff happens to everyone, we just don't whine about it on Facebook. She is also annoying in that she has to involve herself in the girls' interactions and petty disagreements…There is a whole group of them and they are 15, they don't need us to intervene they need to learn to work things out. One more example, week two of school I got a text from her, "What are we going to do about baking?" Apparently our daughters are in the same baking class and they didn't do well on their first quiz. I texted back, "Nothing. It's baking and it's not my class or problem." I haven't been getting involved in my kid's grades for years, but especially not for baking and not during week two of school These were just a couple of examples…there are so many more and trust me, I am not the only person annoyed by her. She has lost so many friends over the years by the garbage she pulls.

Anyway, back to the original question. Do annoying people know they're annoying? Do their families know they're annoying and not tell them? Or do they not think they're annoying because they love them and maybe they're just annoying too? Particularly with this girl on Survivor, I am wondering if her family will tell her how annoying she was after she gets home?

I know "annoying" is subjective and I'm sure some people will think I'm annoying just for posting this But would you tell me or would you just roll your eyes and move on? I think that's what I would do, especially in real life with the girl at work and DD friend's mom, because I don't need to deal with them all that much and I'd rather not get into arguments. If it was someone in my family though, I might want to tell them because maybe they just aren't aware of it.

So what do you all think?

 

[PollyannaMom]

No, I don't think annoying people know they're annoying. (Like you said, who defines "annoying"?)

And no, I don't think most people tell them because - even if they don't especially like them - they still don't want to hurt their feelings.

 

[Meriweather]

I don't think they realize it.....it's just the way they are

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I've known annoying people who know it and thrive on it.

 

[buzzrelly]

I've known annoying people who know it and thrive on it.

That’s even more annoying!

 

[_19disnA]

I agree, they are usually so self-absorbed and think the world revolves around them. They don't pickup on the signs in real life that others find them annoying. The whole 'social media' thing seems to contribute to that as you now can have an entire group of 'virtual friends' you will probably never meet, so you don't get the real-life feedback you do when interacting in person.

 

[Disneylover99]

I started thinking about this because there is one particular girl on Survivor that seems to annoy people. The other castaways seem annoyed with her and there are more than a few people over on that thread who are annoyed by her, including myself.

In real life, I work with the most annoying person…she kind of hops back and forth into a Leadership position when it suits her, i.e., when she wants to get out of working Christmas Day. Nobody hates her, she's not a bad person, but in general, every time she talks, you can just feel everyone's eyes rolling.

One of my daughter's friend's moms is SUPER annoying…constantly posting irritating stuff on Facebook, such as "Why does this stuff always happen to me?!" When in reality, bad stuff happens to everyone, we just don't whine about it on Facebook. She is also annoying in that she has to involve herself in the girls' interactions and petty disagreements…There is a whole group of them and they are 15, they don't need us to intervene they need to learn to work things out. One more example, week two of school I got a text from her, "What are we going to do about baking?" Apparently our daughters are in the same baking class and they didn't do well on their first quiz. I texted back, "Nothing. It's baking and it's not my class or problem." I haven't been getting involved in my kid's grades for years, but especially not for baking and not during week two of school These were just a couple of examples…there are so many more and trust me, I am not the only person annoyed by her. She has lost so many friends over the years by the garbage she pulls.

Anyway, back to the original question. Do annoying people know they're annoying? Do their families know they're annoying and not tell them? Or do they not think they're annoying because they love them and maybe they're just annoying too? Particularly with this girl on Survivor, I am wondering if her family will tell her how annoying she was after she gets home?

I know "annoying" is subjective and I'm sure some people will think I'm annoying just for posting this But would you tell me or would you just roll your eyes and move on? I think that's what I would do, especially in real life with the girl at work and DD friend's mom, because I don't need to deal with them all that much and I'd rather not get into arguments. If it was someone in my family though, I might want to tell them because maybe they just aren't aware of it.

So what do you all think?

I think there are 3 types of annoying people.

1. People who have no clue how annoying they are, cause yeah, I guess nobody has told them.
2. People who are told they’re annoying and they just don’t believe it. Or they try to explain that they’re not trying to be annoying, they just have a reason for saying or doing something all the time.
3. People who know they’re annoying and thrive on it. They annoy on purpose.

The annoying people who know it, annoy me the least.

 

[maxiesmom]

I've known annoying people who know it and thrive on it.

We have one of those at work. She has worked at the same company for years, and yet asks the most basic questions. Over and over again. I think she just likes the attention.

 

[Wubar]

I think there are 3 types of annoying people.

1. People who have no clue how annoying they are, cause yeah, I guess nobody has told them.
2. People who are told they’re annoying and they just don’t believe it. Or they try to explain that they’re not trying to be annoying, they just have a reason for saying or doing something all the time.
3. People who know they’re annoying and thrive on it. They annoy on purpose.

The annoying people who know it, annoy me the least.

Completely Off-topic, but your post reminded me of this scene from "When Harry met Sally":

Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Sally Albright: Which one am I?
Harry Burns: You’re the worst kind. You’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.

 

[slpeters]

I think there are also those people who are annoying, know they're annoying and genuinely can't figure out another way to be. We have one of those at work--I feel bad for him, but he's still annoying. I think people like him are actually a rather large portion of the chronically annoying.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

 

[Wubar]

It also comes down to what you think is annoying. Every one has their own quirks, particularities, and behaviors. Center of attention? Talking loudly on the phone? Insistence on always being right or needing to have the last word? Talking about their dog/child/grandchild/lawn/car/Disney trip/likes/hates 24/7? Constantly interrupting? If you can relate to any of these topics, you probably won't find that as annoying compared to someone else.

A little self awareness is all that is needed. Knowing how your behavior affects others, whether positive, negative, or even neutral and deciding whether to alter that behavior to change the temperature of the room would go a long way to potentially change how others perceive you.

There could also be a reason behind certain behaviors, of course. Maybe the person talks loudly because they have a hearing impairment. Perhaps that person constantly asks the same questions over and over because they have problems learning or has memory issues.

For the ones that thrive off that behavior though....I have no explanation.

 

[Michigan Minnie]

Everybody is annoying to someone at some point in life. Some more so than others. My personality & insecurities is annoying at times & I usually realize it too late. I don't try to be annoying, it just comes across that way. & yes, I annoy myself!!

 

[Nagle]

Whether they know it or not, they keep on posting here anyway. Over and over and over............

 

[Skellingtonj]

Oh I know when I’m being annoying. I just don’t care... I mean irl and not on here or any social media... I get over myself pretty quickly though. I work with the worlds most annoying woman. Ever. She chimes into every conversation, adds her .02 cents no matter what it is. She has no idea how annoying she is. I don’t interact with her.

 

[emer95]

Great question! I work with a woman who is so annoying, it takes super human strength just to get through a conversation with her. I think she knows it. She’ll be obnoxious at a meeting, and when she sees everyone’s looks of shocked silence she’ll say, “Oh come on, you all know you love me.”

Like the OP said, she’s not a bad person, just unbelievably childish and annoying, which is particularly tough to deal with in a professional setting. And I don’t think she’ll ever change. People have tried to gently talk to her about her language, volume, word choice, etc. She cries and says “My bad!” (Seriously). But then goes back to her old ways.

 

[powellrj]

I call it being Sheldon Cooper. I am in several ladies groups and there is always one in every group. I just tell myself that they are our Sheldon.

 

[Imzadi]

I think by the time a person has become a late teen to adult, they know they are annoying. Someone has, at one time, told them. Usually someone who doesn't like them, doesn't care about them to care about being mean, or is a person who does care, yet says, "Dear, I love you but sometimes you are so annoying. . ."

So, yeah, I think they know they are annoying. To quote a wise Vulcan, to them, "Sometimes the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many." The needs of the one, in their case, is them. So they continue to be annoying.

 

[mumto3girls]

I think a lot of people who are annoying are annoying because they are a bit socially awkward and want to be liked and so they try too hard. I think they often know they are coming across annoying but don’t know how to fix it so they keep on talking and the annoying behavior perpetuates. Sad really, but it’s difficult, in the moment, to feel sorry for someone who is annoying you.

 

[redlight]

Usually no.