Curious about divorce and marriage length

[kimblebee]

I was married for about 2 1/2 years before we split. Turned out he'd rather buy weed than put food on the table. Next week is 3 years with my forever husband LOL

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Together 11 years and married 7 years when we divorced. The kids were 9 and 3.

When i was pregnant with my youngest i found out some info and knew then we wouldn’t be married long. Between maternity leave, a newborn and job changes it took me 3 years to gather myself and leave. I legit woke up one day and told him i would be gone that weekend. And i left.

 

[linzjane88]

I'm not divorced and hope not to be but both my parents and my husbands parents divorced at 28 and 29 years, respectively. My parents should have divorced at 10 but such is life.

 

[tink89]

.

 

[Kitty 34]

Under two years

 

[Colleen27]

Thank you all. I was wondering how many were after 20 years, in particular.

I think I may have been unintentionally offensive on the prenup/wwyd threads by saying I felt and feel, 25 years later, that we will never divorce. I know no one initially wants to divorce without good reason and I'm in no way saying I'm better than those who have divorced. There have been a couple times in my marriage where divorce could have been an option, but I feel like we've now crossed some weird threshold where it's not going to happen. Maybe these will be words I want to eat later, but right now it certainly doesn't feel like it. I guess we'll see.

It seems like there's a bit of a divorce-wave that hits around the 20 year mark, at least from what I've seen around me. The kids are in high school or heading off college and there's a rethinking of the marriage and priorities, or a willingness to throw in the towel on a marriage that's been struggling for a long time while the parents held it together "for the kids" or because of the financial fallout of a divorce. I don't know that it is as common as divorces earlier in the relationship, but it certainly seems to be a tough spot in a lot of marriages IME.

 

[bigbabyblues]

I can't think of any friends who are divorced, and my aunt is the only person in either of our families who is divorced. They were married about 5 years and divorced over finances.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

It seems like there's a bit of a divorce-wave that hits around the 20 year mark, at least from what I've seen around me. The kids are in high school or heading off college and there's a rethinking of the marriage and priorities, or a willingness to throw in the towel on a marriage that's been struggling for a long time while the parents held it together "for the kids" or because of the financial fallout of a divorce. I don't know that it is as common as divorces earlier in the relationship, but it certainly seems to be a tough spot in a lot of marriages IME.

This is one of the reasons it’s so important to maintain a healthy relationship with my SO and to not “lose” myself while raising my kids. I see so many people hit 20 years married, Kids are gone or don’t need them as much and they have no idea how to be a couple anymore or even know who they are anymore and some divorce.

 

[Buckeye218]

23 years.

 

[jevs]

Just shy of 11 years.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

3 the first time, 16 the second time

 

[ScottOKW2K]

33 years. I don't plan on there being a second time.

 

[Jennasis]

7 months.

 

[tzolkin]

Thank you all. I was wondering how many were after 20 years, in particular.

I think I may have been unintentionally offensive on the prenup/wwyd threads by saying I felt and feel, 25 years later, that we will never divorce. I know no one initially wants to divorce without good reason and I'm in no way saying I'm better than those who have divorced. There have been a couple times in my marriage where divorce could have been an option, but I feel like we've now crossed some weird threshold where it's not going to happen. Maybe these will be words I want to eat later, but right now it certainly doesn't feel like it. I guess we'll see.

Not sure if you want to wade through all these statistics, but about halfway through it states:

• People who have been married many years (say, 35-plus) and have never been divorced have almost no chance of the marriage ending in divorce

http://www.divorcesource.com/ds/main/u-s-divorce-rates-and-statistics-1037.shtml

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Thank you all. I was wondering how many were after 20 years, in particular.

I think I may have been unintentionally offensive on the prenup/wwyd threads by saying I felt and feel, 25 years later, that we will never divorce. I know no one initially wants to divorce without good reason and I'm in no way saying I'm better than those who have divorced. There have been a couple times in my marriage where divorce could have been an option, but I feel like we've now crossed some weird threshold where it's not going to happen. Maybe these will be words I want to eat later, but right now it certainly doesn't feel like it. I guess we'll see.

My parents had friends from college who divorced after 40+ years. He left her & she couldn't figure out why. Whenever we saw them, she treated him like crap. She, apparently was the only one who didn't see it (for the record, she was generally pleasant & even fun to be around when she wasn't busy belittling him).

 

[ronandannette]

6 years; officially 7 I guess by the time the decree was finalized.

 

[Marchand63]

Both myself & my present DH were 20 years, give or take a few months.

Mine was mutual, just grew into 2 different people. We are still friends to this day.

His was not so nice, DV(her on him) admitted to in court. Bitter custody battle, he got the kids because it is hard to parent when your in prison.

 

[iluveeyore]

25 years, plus 4 together in high school/college before marriage...would have left sooner, but waited till the last of our three children was on her way to college and I felt brave enough to support myself...strangely enough, met my forever husband/soul mate here on the DIS while going through my divorce, got married six months after our first face-to-face meeting, and have been extremely happily married for over three years.

 

[Disney Ron]

19 years.

I'm in the 19 years club. I took my ex out to dinner on our anniversary and at dinner she told me she didn't love me anymore and wanted a divorce. I laughed in her face and told here to have a lawyer by Monday(anniversary was on a Saturday). She was sooo mad at me laughing, because she actually thought the news would destroy my world and here I was laughing in her face.

My 2nd wife and I will be married 12 years on January 14th. My family and friends can't believe how great I made out the 2nd time around.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

6 years, after living together 4 years prior to that.