CJK's journey BACK to the real me!!!! Comments welcomed and encouraged!!

[CJK]

Thanks for your thoughts and encouragement: Foxfiregrrl, CACruisin', DisDee! I KNEW writing this journal would be great for my weightloss efforts. You are all so supportive. I don't know if I'd still be trying so hard if it weren't for W.I.S.H. Thank you! I'm feeling a bit better about the clothing issue. I actually went shopping for shorts yesterday. We're going to WDW in 2 months and I know that by then, I won't fit in my current size 14 shorts. It's hard to estimate what size I'll be at that time, but I needed to buy shorts NOW or there won't be any in the stores by then! I tried on a size 12 just to see how tight they were (in order to estimate my size in October). Well, I could do these shorts up! They were too tight, but I could do them up without straining. WHY CAN'T WOMENS' CLOTHES ALL BE THE SAME SIZE??? I have a pair of capris pants, size 16, that are now JUST fitting, and here I am trying on a size 12 pair of shorts and they are just about 5-10 pounds away from fitting perfectly. I don't get it!!! But anyway, I'm trying not to stress about it. Thanks for your words of wisdom!!!

Well, I made it through the baby shower today. I resisted many temptations, and even the ones I indulged in, I was able to have small portions. I still probably had too many calories today, but I could have done a lot worse too. I'd say it was a success! The shower went very well and everyone seemed to have a great time. We took lots of pictures and I just went through them now on the computer. Well, I admit to being disappointed over how chubby I looked, but, I'm trying not to dwell on it.

Dh and I tried to get in some exercise this weekend but that was difficult due to our crazy busy schedule. Yesterday we managed to do a yoga class and today we went on a 30min. walk right after the shower. Water intake was virtually non-existent! I even had a diet dr. pepper for dinner instead of water. I haven't done that in weeks!! Ah well, tomorrow I'm back in routine and I'm not doing any entertaining for at least 2 weeks. I need the break...and so does my waistline!

Hope you all had a great weekend too! Here's to a great week ahead with great food choices.

 

[CACruisin']

Great job at the baby shower with resisting and portion control . Also sounds like you did get some good exercise in this weekend with a yoga class and a walk .

I hear your pain on the sizing thing . At least the 12's fit - that is great!!! Definitely by those as an incentive. Try finding other stuff by the same maker since they are cut to your proportions. It is hard to know what to do on buying stuff for your trip. You don't want to buy a bunch of stuff because they are just "interim" on your downward weight journey. At the same time, you need to have some nice, comfortable things for your trip.

Have a great week.

 

[CJK]

Thanks! I think I will take your advice and will go shopping tonight for some more clothes. I'm worried that I won't have any clothes to wear on our trip otherwise. I don't want to wear things that are too big, or too small. Hmm. I think I'll only buy a few things because as you say, I still want to get down to my ideal weight!!!

I learned something today. I can no longer use the excuse that I can't workout because I have a headache!! Today, I woke up with the beginnings of a lousy headache. I decided to workout right away before the pain got too bad.....and now I'm PAIN FREE! I love the fact that I was able to get rid of the pain, without taking any medication.

Yesterday went fairly well foodwise. We're still eating leftovers from the shower, but I'm having small portions. I just can't bring myself to throw the food away! haha Water intake was 48oz yesterday. I even bought a big pitcher to use, but I still haven't had a whole pitcher. I'm getting tired of having to go to the bathroom all the time, but I hear that will subside. I have faith!

Speaking of drinking water....gotta run!

 

[CACruisin']

That is great that first you decided to exercise even though you felt a headache coming on and second that your headache went away after you exercised

Good job eating small portions of your leftovers. I have the same problem about throwing away yummy food. Sometimes it is just so good that the calories are worth it . Other times though, I figure it wasn't that good that it is worth the calories and then I can walk away or throw it out.

Good job getting a water pitcher. The constant trips to the bathroom do start to stablize (or maybe I just get used to it ), it just takes time. It is worth it and I definitely feel better when I have been drinking my water.

Have fun clothes shopping!

 

[CJK]

Thanks so much for your continued encouragement. It's amazing how we've never met, yet I feel like we're working right along one another, playing intricate roles in everyone else's success!! Thank you!

Well, I made it through the day! I *think*, it may have even been successful! I went to a "high tea" with a friend which included little sandwiches and pastries. I planned my day so that the bulk of my daily calories would be consumed at the tea. I also did a 45min. workout this morning and a 60min. walk with dh tonight. It all sounds good, but I know the calories I consumed this afternoon were BAD. I'm hoping I did some damage control with the exercise and little breakfast/lunch/dinner. I guess I'll find out next weekend!

This weekend should be good as we've got no family/friend get togethers for a change!! Dh and I will have to....TALK! Wow! Our plan is to enjoy the nice weather, exercise, enjoy some watermelon and have fun. August is a busy month again, so we'll enjoy a little down time. Have a great weekend everyone!!!

 

[CACruisin']

Great job planning your food around your high tea.

I agree with you. The WISH'ers really do keep me going.

Enjoy your weekend!

 

[traceycooper]

Hi cjk
sounds like you are doing a fantastic job with your eating & exercise!
Try not to worry too much about dress sizes as you said yourself the sizes in the shops are all over the place anyway!!!
Remember your in this for the long haul, so you have plenty of time to get there & to adjust to having a healthier lifestyle for life!!

 

[CJK]

Thank you so much for your support! It means a lot.

We really are on a journey aren't we? My weekend really illustrated it. I did fine with exercise and food (not so much water.... ), but my mood was really up and down. As usual, my negative attitude can be linked to my insistance of trying on smaller clothes!!! Last year, I went to a wedding in August and bought a new dress for the wedding. I had lost a few pounds prior to the wedding, but nothing compared to my current exercise/healthy regime. I ASSUMED that if I tried on that dress now, it would be too big for me. Well, it fit.....and it fit EXACTLY the same way it fit last year.

Dh said that I had gained weight since last summer, so I still need to be proud of myself for my accomplishments this summer. I know he's right, but I was in denial! I was sooo letdown. Strange isn't it? I mean, I feel better, I'm losing inches, but it's like I want to be a size 8 NOW. It won't happen, and I know it won't, but that doesn't stop me from hoping! I need to get this in check. I'm making healthier choices and WILL get there (at least to a size 10) shortly.

Today was a good day as I've laid down the law and won't allow myself to try on any smaller clothes for a while. The frustration isn't worth it. It will all come!

I hope you're all having a great day. Thanks for listening to my ramblings!!

 

[traceycooper]

I know how you feel i do exactly the same thing - try on clothes i want to fit & when they dont i just want to pig out!!!
BUT i havnt pigged out & 5 months later some of them are starting to fit, i hope this will keep you motivated cos its a great feeling
I think your doing the right thing, give yourself a couple of months before trying anything else on, it could help motivate you too
Your doing a fantastic job, keep up the good work

 

[CJK]

Thanks Tracey! I'm trying to stay motivated!

Do you ever have those days where you wake up in the morning and you just know it's not going to be a great day? I'm having one of those days. I got some bad news re: this weekend, I took measurements today and didn't lose any inches (or even partial inches) and I'm in crazy pain from my workout 2 days ago. Dh and I got into a fight and here I am. Yup, it's one of those days.

But anyway, I'm not going to give up. I've really increased my workouts this week (which is why I'm particularly disappointed in not losing inches). Maybe I'll notice a difference sometime soon. My food has been pretty good, and I've been holding steady with water (about 7 cups worth a day). I should increase it a bit more, but I'm feeling good about what I've accomplished.

This weekend is full of social events where I don't have control over what food I eat. I will exercise portion control, but it's still scary!! Here's hoping I can get through the weekend and even have a little fun.

I hope everyone else out there is having a great week!

 

[lindalinda]

HI CJK. I am trying to catch up on e1s journals, I have fallen behind! Sounds like you are doing really well. Dont try to get it all done too fast, youll just set yourself up for misery that way. I just passed my 2 year mark on losing this weight. I still have a long way to go, and I keep setting unrealistic goals for myself too! Youd think Id have learned by now! I fell into a bit of a funk for a few weeks this summer since the weight wouldnt budge, nut I am determined, so I know I can pick myself up again. One thing I did do was buy the same pair of jeans in 4 different sizes. It was very exciting to go thru those changes! Keep up the good work!

 

[traceycooper]

Hi CJK
Just a thought but have you checked your breathing correctly when exercising?
I mention this cos i have to constantly remind myself, & if i dont it makes my stomach muscles bloat outwards, i had a 2 week break from the gym & my stomach went really flat (well in my eyes!!) & i managed to lose a couple of pounds too!
Anything is worth a try right??
Hope you & DH have made up,
Have a 'good' weekend
Tracey xx

 

[DisDee]

I empathize with you and the clothes issue. You know you're changing your lifestyle and doing great things for your health, so the size issue should be a non-issue. Keep up the good work and celebrate all the little changes. I know how my mind works , so I'm staying away from the fitting rooms until my old clothes start to hang on me...then I'll know it's time to shop.

Have a great week! Denise

 

[CJK]

Thanks so much everyone for the support! It helps IMMENSELY!!!

Linda - I think I'm going to do your jeans in different sizes trick! I currently have 2 sizes of the same jeans and am currently in between the 2! It will be fun to see myself go through the sizes! Thanks!

Tracey - Thanks for the tip re: breathing. I will check that out tomorrow. You might be on to something! I don't think I pay enough attention to breathing when I'm doing any exercise with the exception of yoga. Thanks!

Disdee - You're absolutely right. Improving my health should be the priority. Thanks for the reminder - I needed it!

Well, its been a crazy weekend!! It's a holidy weekend in Canada which meant that we went away for the weekend to visit family and friends. It was fun, but very busy. The GREAT news, is that my family about fainted at my weightloss! They hadn't seen me in 5 weeks and were really shocked by my shrinking body. It made me feel great, but also feel silly for all of my whining in this journal!!!! Please accept my apology to all of you readers out there!!! I feel silly now!

Food went relatively well I'd say. There were a couple meals with very little healthy options, but I had small portions. My water intake was almost nonexistent again. I really struggle with that during the weekends. I must improve that in the future. In all, however, I tried to make healthy choices wherever possible and said no to some of the really bad stuff. I'm looking at this weekend as a success!!!

I also managed to exercise all 3 days which surprised me. I did yoga on Saturday, a 60min. walk on Sunday and 45min. of interval training on the treadmill today. I didn't get in lots of minutes, but considering all the people we saw and the shuffling from one event to the other.....it went great!!

Hopefully my successful and fun weekend, will help me as we get back to work tomorrow. Thanks all and I hope you had a great weekend too!

 

[eeyore25]

Hi there,

Just read through your journal and you are doing a great job....don't beat yourself up about trying on smaller clothes. The time will come when you can fit into those clothes and it willl feel good. I have been at this for a year (granted I have fallen a few times) but it does feel good to try on smaller clothes. It just takes time!!!

I agree with the others, you should get on the scale. There for the longest time I didn't want to either. I didn't even own a scale when I first started WISH. Then I decided that it was time...I am glad that I did go out and buy one. I hate the thing now !!! Just kidding!!! Think about it.

Keep up the good work....you are doing great. Others can see it..that means what you are doing is working!

 

[traceycooper]

Wow well done
Sounds like you had a fantastic weekend!!
You managed to make healthy choices & still have a great time! Looks like you are 'over' & can resist temptations now, & are on the road to a healthier lifestyle & not just on a 'diet' (i hate that word!)
Dont worry about 'whining' thats what the journals are for, its not good to bottle up any insecurities & worries, better to get them out in the open
Heres hoping you have a fantastic week too

 

[CJK]

Well.........I think I'm getting closer to that darn scale. I *almost* weighed myself this morning, but chickened out. I did take measurements however, on my waist, hips and thighs. Half an inch gone at waist and hips and 1/4 inch gone on thighs. I know that I'm still far from my goal, but I need to be proud of my accomplishments to date.

My exercising continues to go well. The advanced taebo is really challenging though! I'm not sure how long I can keep it up since it is so difficult (and frustrating). But, I hope to continue with it, at least until our trip at the end of September. After the trip, maybe I can switch to exercise that I don't detest so much.

I went grocery shopping yesteday and bought some food that I'm looking forward to trying (ham bacon - only 50 calories for 3 slices), low cal fudgicles and a perfectly ripe watermelon. If I have food that I enjoy, I definitely find it easier. When it's the regular work week, maintaining water intake is so much easier too. Unfortunately I can't say the same about weekends!

This weekend will be a difficult one, yet again. We're having overnight guests who love to eat and drink! They're accustomed to the old me who always joined them in the food and drinking. When my trip is so close, and my trip clothes still don't fit...........I just don't have the luxury of blowing it for one weekend. My plan is to have one drink and drink it very sloooooowly. I'll have small portions of food too. Oh how I hope I don't blow it!!! We're going to a buffet breakfast the following day, so I'm crossing my fingers that there will be healthy food options there.

That's all for now. Hope everyone's having a healthy week!

 

[traceycooper]

Hope your weekend went well, & you managed to resisit some temptation!
Great job on the measurements, well done
The food sounds yummy, if definatly helps to have the healthy food in the fridge, i often get tempted at the end of the week before i have gone shoppping again when the only food left is unhealthy stuff!!!

 

[CJK]

Thanks Tracey!! I know what you mean about having unhealthy food in the house! Our company just left and we still have over half of an ice cream cake, a boston cream pie, pork tenderloin, two bake potatoes, cheesy appetizers, etc.......... eek!!!!!! I can't have any of it and dh only eats a little each day (that's why he's so slim!!) so I have to live with it for a few days. He refuses to let me throw out good food. I'll keep munching on that watermelon!!!

I survived my company okay. The pressure was certainly there for drinking and eating. I allowed myself a little bit of everything in small portions. I feel guilty about it, but I need to remind myself that the "old me" would have consumed easily double that amount. For drinking, I stuck with red wine and had no more than 2 glasses in a 7hr period. It took REAL determination since our friends were drinking much, much more. I actually think they were disappointed in me. This morning at breakfast, there were NO healthy breakfast items on the menu! No fruit platter, no cereal, no bagels - just bacon/eggs/pancakes/hashbrowns, etc...!! I couldn't believe it! I ordered a bacon/egg platter and ate 2 bacon strips, 1 egg (scrambled), about 10 hashbrowns and half a piece of buttered whole wheat toast. I'm disappointed in myself because while the quantity of food was low, the fat and calories will be big. The hash browns were fried and I felt a little queasy after all that grease. *sigh*

However, dh and I just got back from a 60min. walk, and we managed to go on a walk with friends yesterday AND did yoga. Hopefully my activity will help counter my increased calories. Onward and upward!!!!

 

[deelam]

Just dropped in to say Hi. I read through your journel and you are doing so well!. I wouldn't get stressed about the breakfast. You really didn't go overboard.