The Mission: Prove to Grumpola Husband that Disney Magic DOES Exist!

[TandLMommy28]

So I had another chat with Grumpola last night about why on earth he finds it necessary to sigh and roll his eyes if I so much as speak the word, "Disney."

Basically, what I took from the conversation is that he has no desire to go, it's a waste of time, it's a waste of money and it's just stressing him to even think about going. He'd rather spend the money fixing up his truck or paying off some bills or building up the savings account. "Family vacations are important but Disney vacations are just a silly waste." That's basically what he told me. He'll go because it's important to me and he's sure it will be "fine" but don't expect him to come home raving about how great it was. I told him I've been making myself SICK working 2x as much as normal to make sure that even with our trip, we have enough money in savings.

And I told him that all we do is pay off bills (we made a big mess when we were first married that we are still fixing but in the first half of this year we paid off BOTH cars so I think a little break from the super tight budget to have some fun is in order!). I know we can afford to do this. I am the one who does our budget because while I work as a writer, my degree is actually in accounting. I'm good with money.

He just looked completely disgusted the more I talked. And you have to understand that we've been married for seven years this month and this is the first time we've ever really disagreed on something bigger than where to have dinner. I told him that it's not fair that he rolls his eyes every time I talk about Disney but it's perfectly OK to make me listen to him talk for hours on end about people at work I don't know, car repairs he wants to do that I don't understand and plots of TV shows that I have no interest in. But I listen because I care about HIM. And I don't think it's fair that he can't show me the same courtesy about this trip.

We are also completely in disagreement about when to leave. I want to leave Friday afternoon and knock out the first 4 to 5 hours of the trip since we have over 1,000 miles to go. That would leave less strain of getting through that many miles on Saturday. He is completely against this. I guess to him it would be starting the misery a full day early. Sigh...

I really don't know what to do at this point. The more I try to tell him about the fun things I have planned, the more upset he gets. I've tried telling him how much it means to me because of my family trip when I was 14. I've tried showing him pictures, showing him the budget. He just rolls his eyes and changes the subject.

I'm beginning to think this magical vacation could ruin our marriage.

 

[Lbg206]

So I had another chat with Grumpola last night about why on earth he finds it necessary to sigh and roll his eyes if I so much as speak the word, "Disney."

Basically, what I took from the conversation is that he has no desire to go, it's a waste of time, it's a waste of money and it's just stressing him to even think about going. He'd rather spend the money fixing up his truck or paying off some bills or building up the savings account. "Family vacations are important but Disney vacations are just a silly waste." That's basically what he told me. He'll go because it's important to me and he's sure it will be "fine" but don't expect him to come home raving about how great it was. I told him I've been making myself SICK working 2x as much as normal to make sure that even with our trip, we have enough money in savings.

And I told him that all we do is pay off bills (we made a big mess when we were first married that we are still fixing but in the first half of this year we paid off BOTH cars so I think a little break from the super tight budget to have some fun is in order!). I know we can afford to do this. I am the one who does our budget because while I work as a writer, my degree is actually in accounting. I'm good with money.

He just looked completely disgusted the more I talked. And you have to understand that we've been married for seven years this month and this is the first time we've ever really disagreed on something bigger than where to have dinner. I told him that it's not fair that he rolls his eyes every time I talk about Disney but it's perfectly OK to make me listen to him talk for hours on end about people at work I don't know, car repairs he wants to do that I don't understand and plots of TV shows that I have no interest in. But I listen because I care about HIM. And I don't think it's fair that he can't show me the same courtesy about this trip.

We are also completely in disagreement about when to leave. I want to leave Friday afternoon and knock out the first 4 to 5 hours of the trip since we have over 1,000 miles to go. That would leave less strain of getting through that many miles on Saturday. He is completely against this. I guess to him it would be starting the misery a full day early. Sigh...

I really don't know what to do at this point. The more I try to tell him about the fun things I have planned, the more upset he gets. I've tried telling him how much it means to me because of my family trip when I was 14. I've tried showing him pictures, showing him the budget. He just rolls his eyes and changes the subject.

I'm beginning to think this magical vacation could ruin our marriage.

WOW, I feel like I could have written that entire post only about my uncle instead of husband. He is the EXACT same way, thinks it's a big waste of time, money, etc. He'd rather just stay home and put the money into his truck or the farm and not be bothered. He thinks Disney is a complete waste and he's goo, but only for the kids' sake. She has had this conversation with him as have my mom and me both and in the beginning we got nowhere.

With him what we found out is my aunt sat down with him one night after the kids were in bed and didn't talk to him about the trip or why he rools his eyes, gets upset, etc, but more why it is he's stressing out about it so much and why this particular trip was a problem. It turne dout it wasn't really the money or even Disney itself, it was something else entirely. In his case it was about the farm and being away from the house that long and so far away if something went wrong, which isn't exactly your husband's probelm I'm sure, but perhaps there is something deeper and the Disney itself.

When we'd get together my mom, aunt, me and the kids would talk nonstop and he'd just roll his eyes or leave and complain about how he didn't understand how three adults could be so excited for a hot crowded kiddie place.

Once we found out what was REALLY bothering him they were able to make some arrangements and work on it and now he feels a LOT better about it. Is he now onbaord and dying to meet Mickey......no! but he has relaxed a lot more. Another thing that helped was first off we would tell about things that HE would enjoy. In his case he loves food and is eating 24/7. LOL Which is funny since he's as skinny as they come....lucky!! Anyway we made ADR's at places especially for him that he'll enjoy. Also he's very into woodwork and carving and mountainous lodges so we're taking him over to Wildreness Lodge one night for dinner so we can show him the resort. Just things like that really help. Also letting him see it's not just a "kiddie" place, but has rides/attractions he'd enjoy as well is good.

The other thing we tried which seems to have helped a bit was stop talking to him about it and focus on the kids. Get them REALLY excited and explain them specific rides and things and then when they have time with daddy they'll tell him about it and he'll HAVE to talk abotu it and seeing how excited his kids are will hopefully help him to get more excited to see them having fun. My cousins have been excited since day 1, but when they'd talk to him he'd just listen politely then change the subject or sometimes just leave the room, but when they want to tell him about one specific ride or show he'd listen to that since they were so excited.

I may be completely off base here, but he really REALLY sounds exactly like my uncle so I'm guessing there is more to it than just thinking Disney is silly. Try talking to him not about why he doesn't want to go to Disney, but why he doesn't want to go on this trip at all. Is it the driving? the time away from home? something at work/house he's worried about happening while he's away? is it truly the money? etc. etc. Odds are there might be a completely non-disney reason for his anxiety...................and if not and he just simply hates Disney itself.........poor guy just doesn't get it. LOL

Good luck to you and if after the trip he still feels the same way then in the future you might just have to make it a mommy and kids trip or go with friends/sisters and there kids. Let us know how things go.

 

[NaLisa]

I really don't know what to do at this point. The more I try to tell him about the fun things I have planned, the more upset he gets. I've tried telling him how much it means to me because of my family trip when I was 14. I've tried showing him pictures, showing him the budget. He just rolls his eyes and changes the subject.

I'm beginning to think this magical vacation could ruin our marriage.

It's good to have the DIS boards to vent. As we get closer to our WDW trip, I'm sure I'll need to vent some too!

I can relate to SO many things about your situation (freelance writer, SAHM/WAHM, financial worries, Grumpola husband, etc.) I've been wanting to take the kids to Disney for years, but DH had no desire to go. He works really hard with long hours, so I think he'd prefer a more relaxing, less expensive vacation. We're able to take this trip because a family member offered us a week of his timeshare, and DH was the one who suggested Disney. Imagine that! Well I immediately started researching and planning, and hubby immediately got tired of hearing me talk about Disney.

One thing that did help my DH get in the Disney spirit is looking over the UG Color Companion to WDW. He went through the whole thing from cover to cover in a couple of hours, and it seemed to really help him picture the magic. The thing is I didn't ASK him to read it. It was just laying around the house and didn't seem too scary or time-consuming, so he picked it up and started browsing, then couldn't put it down. And every once in a while I'll notice that he's been online looking up something Disney related (e.g. what shoes he should buy for the trip, or which stroller we should take, etc.). So now I live for the rare occasion when he brings up the subject of WDW. But my DDs are both happy to discuss the subject anytime.

However, we're several months away from our trip, and as close as you are to your dream vacation, I can't imagine not wanting to talk about it constantly.

Could you tie that first travel day into something that interests him? Maybe spend the night somewhere where there's something he'd really like to do? That might help sway him to leave earlier and make him feel like part of the vacation is truly "his." Getting off to a good start might also get him in the right frame of mind for the rest of the trip.

 

[coneygoil]

Good luck with proving to your husband the joy of Disney Magic. I did not have any luck last April when my husband went with me and my parents for the first time. It seemed everything that I raved about went wrong, even the tiniest things like the yummy mushroom and onions at Pecos Bill Restaurant. He also got sticker shock from the food prices. He claims he will not go back to WDW for 10 years! I told him he's going for our baby's 1st birthday no matter what!

I wish you all the luck in the world!

 

[tinkrebell]

Ahhh!

I love you all!

I'm a freelance writer right now working from home, and I'm in the midst of planning my own late September trip with my newlywed DH right now - we're early 20s, I've been 3 times, and I made it a total "you are coming to Disney or we are not having a vacation at all" letter. That I posted on the bathroom mirror, just to make sure he didn't have a chance to argue my logic. . .he is now excited for his first trip ever! We don't have kids, so I can't quite relate the money logic yet - although I keep buying things in advance so he doesn't look at the budget either =)

BUT
I really really wanted to say - saw on another thread that you can get your daughter's hair done up with colored gel and sparkles at the Harmony Barbershop in MK for a fraction of the cost of BBB. I've loved your posts, so I couldn't help but share, and I hope it helps with all the wonderful things you're doing for everyone! Stay strong! I'm a believer that everyone can find a way to get into hte spirit. . . some people just need to GET there and maybe have some candy shoved in them from Goofy's shop first =)

 

[heathers4um]

I have found myself here a couple of times since earlier in your PTR...its an awful lonely and frustrating place to be. I know.

I recived all of our check in gifts and am continuing to store things for our OL and have just put up to faith and the beauty of Disney and the excitement of going on a trip to hoepfully turn him around. I, however, will NOT allow his un-Disney-like-moods to dampen mine! And you souldnt allow Grumpola's to dampen yours!

Do what I do and continue to talk excitedly and happily and MAGICALLY about all in store for you, the kids and HIM. When he begins to balk or his eyes get that cold hardset look to them, look right at him and smile and blow him a kiss and tell him that you arent going to come in between him and his Grumpola-ness and he isnt going to come in between you and your pixie dust!

So I had another chat with Grumpola last night about why on earth he finds it necessary to sigh and roll his eyes if I so much as speak the word, "Disney."

Basically, what I took from the conversation is that he has no desire to go, it's a waste of time, it's a waste of money and it's just stressing him to even think about going. He'd rather spend the money fixing up his truck or paying off some bills or building up the savings account. "Family vacations are important but Disney vacations are just a silly waste." That's basically what he told me. He'll go because it's important to me and he's sure it will be "fine" but don't expect him to come home raving about how great it was. I told him I've been making myself SICK working 2x as much as normal to make sure that even with our trip, we have enough money in savings.

And I told him that all we do is pay off bills (we made a big mess when we were first married that we are still fixing but in the first half of this year we paid off BOTH cars so I think a little break from the super tight budget to have some fun is in order!). I know we can afford to do this. I am the one who does our budget because while I work as a writer, my degree is actually in accounting. I'm good with money.

He just looked completely disgusted the more I talked. And you have to understand that we've been married for seven years this month and this is the first time we've ever really disagreed on something bigger than where to have dinner. I told him that it's not fair that he rolls his eyes every time I talk about Disney but it's perfectly OK to make me listen to him talk for hours on end about people at work I don't know, car repairs he wants to do that I don't understand and plots of TV shows that I have no interest in. But I listen because I care about HIM. And I don't think it's fair that he can't show me the same courtesy about this trip.

We are also completely in disagreement about when to leave. I want to leave Friday afternoon and knock out the first 4 to 5 hours of the trip since we have over 1,000 miles to go. That would leave less strain of getting through that many miles on Saturday. He is completely against this. I guess to him it would be starting the misery a full day early. Sigh...

I really don't know what to do at this point. The more I try to tell him about the fun things I have planned, the more upset he gets. I've tried telling him how much it means to me because of my family trip when I was 14. I've tried showing him pictures, showing him the budget. He just rolls his eyes and changes the subject.

I'm beginning to think this magical vacation could ruin our marriage.

 

[NaLisa]

Do what I do and continue to talk excitedly and happily and MAGICALLY about all in store for you, the kids and HIM. When he begins to balk or his eyes get that cold hardset look to them, look right at him and smile and blow him a kiss and tell him that you arent going to come in between him and his Grumpola-ness and he isnt going to come in between you and your pixie dust!

Great advice, and I vow to follow it with my own can-we-not-talk-about-Disney-today DH.

 

[heathers4um]

And we can be here for eachother when the going gets tough! We should begin a DIS Spouse-resistant support group!

They clearly have no understanding the magic it holds for us and how something so simple can make up so happy. Havent they realized yet that happy DW's make happy DH's??

Great advice, and I vow to follow it with my own can-we-not-talk-about-Disney-today DH.

 

[Tiger.Lily]

Ok, I have to hop in here on this one. I had a Disney resistant fiance. He wasn't AGAINST going, but he certainly wasn't super excited when I started making plans for his first trip. He got super irritated at me when I was trying to make ADRs and couldn't understand why I was always talking about it. I started to worry that I was spending a ton of money (our trip mostly came out of my tax return) to take him somewhere he was going to hate. You know what I did?

I stopped talking to him about it. Almost completely. Instead, I came here to the DIS to share my excitement. I of course wanted him to be excited with me, but knew that until he experienced it he just wouldn't understand. I also understood that if I built it up too much and something went wrong, it would seem like an even bigger let down.

Our first day started a little sketchy. After a couple of comments to the effect of "Well Six Flags has this" or "The Texas State Fair has that" (two of his favorite places as a kid) I threatened to leave him in the room if he couldn't stop making comparisons and just enjoy being there. Lucky for me, we had a magical trip. Some friends were there with their Granddaughter and he said later that having a child around helped him see the magic. We also got lucky with Pixie Dust a couple times that I never could have planned for.

Now, I have a Disney Addicted Husband. Heh, I should start a new acronym. DAH.

Anyway, sorry I'm so long winded. I hope your DH can see that this is important to you and relax a bit. And I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you that he sees the magic once you get there.

 

[TandLMommy28]

Thanks everyone. Knowing I'm not the only one sure helps more than I can ever explain!

Things are a little better here... he found out (I can't remember how, I think I was still awake at 4am when he got up for work but it's blurry now, the kids are sick and I haven't slept in a week!) that I had been actually losing sleep worrying about him hating me by the time this trip is over. He had no idea I was THAT stressed about it... to make me feel better, he conceded to leaving on Friday night instead of Saturday morning.

And then we had a major break through, in my opinion. He has been saying all summer that he needed new shorts but we never got around to it. We finally hit Kohls this weekend and he bought four new pairs of shorts and a new swim suit.

Guess what he said????

"I think I'm not going to wear the new clothes until Disney. I want them to still be all shiny and new when we get there."

I nearly fainted. HE CARES ABOUT SOMETHING ABOUT DISNEY.

Baby steps, right?

 

[NaLisa]

I nearly fainted. HE CARES ABOUT SOMETHING ABOUT DISNEY.

Baby steps, right?

Yes, baby steps. And he's pointed in the right direction. Glad to hear he's getting into the spirit of things.

 

[TandLMommy28]

I just want to be there already. Seriously, why can't we just go NOW??? I'm so ready to do this! 34 more long days until we get to do this thing!

At least they are fairly busy days, right? I mean I'm going double time at my freelance work to have plenty of spending money. I am babysitting 3 days this week. Next week is our anniversary, orientation for ballet and back to school night for my son (even though we home school, he goes to preschool for 5 hours a week so that I can focus with my daughter and get some quiet to do the "hard stuff" that he distracts her from). The next week school and swim start. Then we have two "normal" weeks of all of our activities in full swing and then we go!!!

Grumpola hasn't rolled his eyes at me once in the past 3 days when I say the word "Disney." He even played with Google earth with me when i showed him where the bus would drop us off at MK and where we'd jump on the monorail to go to Chef Mickey. I don't know if he thought Google Earth was cool or what but he didn't roll his eyes.

 

[TandLMommy28]

AAAAAAH!

I was going to go blow up some Disney excitement steam at Dollar Tree today. Buy some ponchos or something, just do something for the trip to make it feel closer, I don't know.

But I haven't driven my car all week (kids have been sick and when we've left the house, it was in the truck) and I guess I left a light on. Oops. So we won't be going anywhere until Grumpola gets home from work and jump starts the car.

Oh well. Just one of those days!

 

[TandLMommy28]

OK, enough about my emotional craziness over this trip. On with the actual trip planning already, right?

I think I have a perfect, perfect, PERFECT first day at Disney planned. If I have written about this day before, I'm sorry. But I have changed it up some, so bare with me.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

We'll wake up in our hotel in Orlando, as close to Disney as possible. The goal is to arrive in Orlando around 9pm on Saturday and grab a room at a hotel that serves breakfast. No use paying for a meal if we don't have to, right?

We'll sleep until we wake up, which will probably be about 8:30 or so. Then we will eat breakfast, load up the car and head on over to WDW.

I plan to do online check in so I have my fingers crossed that at such a slow time of year, our room just might be ready at 10am. It's not highly likely but you never know, right? If it is, we'll unload and unpack and settle in for an hour or so. If not, we'll head straight on over to Downtown Disney (by boat, of course!).

We will be making a beeline for Once Upon A Toy to do the Mr. Potato Head thing. So beyond excited about that!!!

We'll head back to POFQ to drop off our goodies either in our car or our room, depending on whether or not we were able to get in yet! If we haven't been in our room yet, we'll check again to see if it's ready.

Then we'll be on the bus and off to Magic Kingdom. Straight off the bus, we'll be getting on the monorail (I know, so near, yet so far!) and over to Chef Mickey's for lunch. ADR is for 2:05pm.

After meeting Mickey and the Gang and filling up on a yummy buffet, we'll hop the monorail back on over to MK and finally, yes, finally, enter the Magic Kingdom. If it times out the way I think it might, we will walk in just in time to catch the tail end of the afternoon parade.

Originally I was going to follow UG's half day plan but then I had a change of heart.

So our half day at MK is going to be spent in Fantasy Land, because on a day when the crowd level is 0.6 WITH EMH, you know even the line for Dumbo can't be that bad. We will do Fantasy Land and Toon Town until Wishes begins. That will give us a good 4-5 hours in just those two lands and I think that will allow us to go at a relaxing pace and ride the Carrousel 15 times or so if that's what they want to do!!! After such a late lunch, I don't anticipate needing a full dinner, so we'll probably grab a snack while we wait for Wishes.

I want to watch Wishes close to Tomorrow Land and then we'll take votes on how everyone is feeling. If we are feeling good, we'll stay and do Buzz and some other stuff, although we'll need to hit Tommorow Land again on Tuesday when we have four adults so we can trade off (I know, I know, Baby Swap... but I don't want to ride alone!).

I've always wanted to ride Splash at night so if we are REALLY feeling energetic, once EMH starts, we'll head over and ride it before we leave! Of course, how late we stay at MK will also depend on if we are in the room or not. If we still need to settle in, we likely won't stay long past the 8pm Wishes.

Back at POFQ, we will be straight to bed (after uploading pictures to the computer and clearing my memory card for another day, anyway).

 

[TandLMommy28]

Day 2:

Monday, September 27, 2010 -- Hollywood Studios and a Big Surprise

We have an ADR for 8am at Hollywood & Vine. From there it will be straight on to Toy Story Mania, obviously! We'll grab Fast Passes to come back later and then move on. I haven't planned out the details of this day yet. I am debating paying for RideMax. The UG plans for DHS just aren't fitting what I want to do. Regardless, with the lack of decent food choices at DHS for lunch, we'll be heading back to the hotel around noon.

The kids are going to eat lunch in the hotel room and lay down for a little nap. Well, we'll all each lunch in the room.

Their grandmother and favorite aunt will be waking them up. The kids have no idea that "Mum" and "Auntie Jacquie" are coming so it will be a huge shock to see them when they wake up!

Then it will be back to DHS to see some shows (my mom and aunt don't do rides). The kids will have dinner at Pizza Planet and when they tire out, my aunt and mom are taking them back to POFQ.

It's EMH and Grumpola and I will stay and ride Rock and Roller Coaster and Tower of Terror and do stuff we missed during the day. We won't stay terribly late, though, because the next day is a big day!

 

[TandLMommy28]

Day 3

September 28, 2010 -- Magic Kingdom and a Birthday

8am at Crystal Palace! So excited to be in MK before it opens!!!! Celebrating Bub's 3rd birthday.

Starting our day in Tommorowland and working our way around to end in Fantasy Land. that way if we don't make it to Fantasy land it won't matter since we already did it.

Nothing terribly exciting planned for this day. I mean, other than being IN Magic Kingdom, obviously!!! Just taking it as it comes. Going to do some stuff I've missed on previous trips--Tom Sawyer Island, for one. My mom is on a re-reading the classics kick and she is so excited about that one!

MK closes at 7pm and to be honest, I highly doubt we will make it that long. If we make it to 5, I'll be happy. Back to the hotel to have dinner at the food court or possibly at Wolf Gang Puck Express and then a trip to Goofy's Candy Co for the birthday boy's enjoyment! Then back to the hotel for birthday presents (he's getting Buzz and Woody).

 

[TandLMommy28]

Day 3

September 28, 2010 -- Magic Kingdom and a Birthday

8am at Crystal Palace! So excited to be in MK before it opens!!!! Celebrating Bub's 3rd birthday.

Starting our day in Tommorowland and working our way around to end in Fantasy Land. that way if we don't make it to Fantasy land it won't matter since we already did it.

Nothing terribly exciting planned for this day. I mean, other than being IN Magic Kingdom, obviously!!! Just taking it as it comes. Going to do some stuff I've missed on previous trips--Tom Sawyer Island, for one. My mom is on a re-reading the classics kick and she is so excited about that one!

MK closes at 7pm and to be honest, I highly doubt we will make it that long. If we make it to 5, I'll be happy. Back to the hotel to have dinner at the food court or possibly at Wolf Gang Puck Express and then a trip to Goofy's Candy Co for the birthday boy's enjoyment! Then back to the hotel for birthday presents (he's getting Buzz and Woody).

 

[Jay2009]

Hey there, just wanted to say Hi and that I'll be at POFQ during your dates as well!

I hope you accomplish your mission of convincing grumpola. You know that the people who resist it the most become addicts the fastest!

 

[TandLMommy28]

Hey there, just wanted to say Hi and that I'll be at POFQ during your dates as well!

I hope you accomplish your mission of convincing grumpola. You know that the people who resist it the most become addicts the fastest!

Thanks. I'll have a lime green mickey on our door, look for us!

 

[TandLMommy28]

Day 4

September 29, 2010 Epcot and Princess Day

For once we do not have an 8am ADR so we will be heading to Epcot just before it opens. Shooting to get there at about 8:40 or so. We will be heading straight to Soarin' first thing. Then we will enjoy the Seas with Nemo before heading over to our late breakfast at 10:30 at Akerhaus, stopping to get Test Track Fast Passes on the way!.

World Showcase opens at 11 so by the time we are done, we can begin walking the world. I figure we will just start at Norway and keep going around. I did NOT enjoy the WS as a teen but I am hoping it goes better this time!

When we get to Japan, the Princess will be doing Pick A Pearl. I alraedy have her pearl cage carriage waiting for her! I am doing it as well and hoping beyond hope that I get twins because I really want pearl earrings!

After the worlds, we'll have a meal (with such a late breakfast, we should be OK for awhile) and then hit Club Cool and some of the other Future World stuff. When the kids are beat, and I suspect it will be early, we'll be out of the park. My mom and aunt are going to stick it out. They've got dinner in China and it's EMH so they are going to hand out and just enjoy Epcot and have some sister bonding time or something.

We will take the kids back to the hotel probably by 7 and if they want a swim, we'll do that and if not, we'll just go to bed!!!