Teenager doesn't want to go

[Marthasor]

I would let him stay with his grandparents. There is nothing worse than traveling with someone who does not want to travel! I have two older stepsons and when they were teens they would not have wanted to go to WDW either. Perhaps get his opinion on the next family destination. Enjoy the trip with your other kids and let your older son have some alone time with his grandparents.

 

[Trip planner]

I teach high school and a few of my students have told me that when they go to WDW with their families, they choose not to go to the parks and instead, sleep in and hang by the pool all day. Then they eat dinner with the family. This may be a compromise to make everyone happy while still spending time together. You will also save money on park tickets.

 

[maxiesmom]

How about having him go with you, with the option of flying back by himself after 3 days if he is not having fun? Book tickets on Southwest so you can change them with no problem. Have him spend time with the family, but if he is truly miserable he will have an out. Knowing that may make him relax and enjoy himself.

 

[hsmamato2]

I teach high school and a few of my students have told me that when they go to WDW with their families, they choose not to go to the parks and instead, sleep in and hang by the pool all day. Then they eat dinner with the family. This may be a compromise to make everyone happy while still spending time together. You will also save money on park tickets.

This. My oldest was kind of solitary,and didn't love flying, staying in hotels, etc. He did like Disney, but onhis own terms,which we eventually came to terms with over the years When he was about 17 onward, we learned (the hard way) to just let him come along and sleep half the day if he wanted. Then he'd meet up later in the day,and frequent;y ended up staying out later than we did.Disney is perfect for this,as sometimes he'd take his younger bro to stay out later- or sometimes he wouldn't. He preferred sitting in the room with his phone sometimes to hanging by the pool.... but I believe you should bring your teen along,simply b/c he has NO IDEA if he'll like it or not at this point,he hasn't been since he was a little kid. I'd pitch it like that, with the freedom to tour as he likes,if he wants freedom from family stuff all day...but I'd bring him along this trip.

 

[powellrj]

We started letting our teen stay with grandparents at that age because he hated going to WDW. On the last family trip we had taken him on he just stayed in the room and slept in and watched TV. The next year he signed up for summer school just so he could stay home. This was a kid who hated school, but he hated WDW more. He is now 33 and still will not go with us. He will travel down with us and then we will take his wife to the parks with us and he will go out on his own and visit army buddies. If its OK with grandparents, I would let him stay with them.

 

[Justabaseballmom]

Thanks all for your thoughts and opinions. I've decided to let the 16yo make his decision. We've talked about the pros and cons of him going or staying. I'd love for him to go but do not want him to be bored. His grandparents had already offered to have him for a few weeks over the summer anyways. My kids get out of school fir the summer before Memorial Day. We are about 12 hours from family so he doesn't get to see them as often as I'd like. We do a lot of camping trips in the summer with all of us. He's starting to get to point he doesn't mind going, but gets annoyed with younger siblings. He'll go off an do something himself at the campground but than the youngest wants to spend time with him.
Also since he will be graduating high school next year I promised we would take a family trip any where he wants to go in theither US. Even if it's a trip to Disney next year again.

 

[Nettester]

If he goes, but he isn't expected to come to the parks all day with the family (meaning he can sleep in and lounge by the pool, etc) why would he still be opposed to going? I'm not sure why you care if he gets bored if you can just allow him to leave the parks for the hotel when he is "done" or just let him do his own thing. It's a lot easier to deal with a bored 16 year old on vacation than a cranky or bored small child. Is it too much stress for him just sharing a hotel room with the family?

Also, I would really have to wonder WHAT it is that he has to leave back at home that he doesn't want to give up for one week. If there is some activity or something legit he doesn't want to miss, I would be more understanding. Staying with the grandparents would be great, but how much freedom will they give him? I guess the fact that his grandparents are 12 hours away, and not in your same town would give me a lot more comfort he wouldn't be trying to pull any shenanigans.

 

[maxiesmom]

I wouldn't worry about a 16 year old being bored at all. Neither would I leave him behind because he has younger siblings that want to be with him and that bothers him. That is part of being the older child, and learning to get along where you are not exactly happy is a great life skill to have. None of us can always do only what we find fascinating or do it with only people we really enjoy spending time with.

 

[TwoMisfits]

Gotta agree with PP - not wanting to spend time with younger sibs would probably turn my decision into a definite "you're going"...my oldest gets annoyed by her youngers sibs every now and then now, and we are always reminding her that she was just as annoying at their age and mom and dad dealt with her...and her younger sibs go along to make things possible for her now (like sitting and waiting for her 2 hour class to finish once a week), so she can do the same for them...the sibling relationship is such a key one for life and realizing that it's not "all about you" as a teen, but you now have some "adult" responsibilities and not just "adult" privileges, is such an important thing for teens to learn and internalize...and some of those responsibilities might not have any immediate payoff for you right now or even any payoff later...some things you do b/c they are right and occasionally entertaining one's younger sibs to help out mom and dad is one of them...as a bonus, years from now, those sibs will probably grow up to idolize you if you put in the effort now...and they may be the ones who have to look after you when you're old and grey...

Now, that's not to say the oldest always gets stuck playing the martyr 24-7...that's where mom and dad step in. With the ages of your younger kids, you know when they've already had time with their older sibling and when it's time for you to step in to entertain them and/or for you to step in and tell the younger that he/she can entertain themselves. Family balances the needs and wants of family.

 

[WhispyPixie]

Family time is family time....Although I don't see forcing him to go as an option, or even dealing with a moody teen because he was "made to go", I wonder if you could find somethings to do on the trip that meet him where he is.

 

[mco65]

My oldest (16) loves going to WDW but that is about the ONLY place he wants to go to. If he truly didn't want to go to WDW because he no longer enjoyed it then i certainly would let him go to his grandparents for the week. If we were going some other place, a place he had not been to, then we would probably make him go regardless.

 

[GPC0321]

Tough call, but I think you're right to let him make the decision. That's a tough age (I teach high school), and if his grandparents are excited to have him come stay, then why not? That's still "family time", and very valuable if he doesn't get to see them often. He gets to see you guys all the time. And it sounds like if he went, he'd be spending more time back at the hotel all alone than with his family anyway, so he's actually getting more valuable time with family by staying with the grandparents.