Ot Need To Vent 1st Bump in the Road What Do I Do?

[kwilliamsrn]

You mean you could have all eaten together on a different day, but it was on one child's birthday, so you turned it down in order to not offend the other child?

I don't know that was never offered by the CM just by the people on the board, that was part of my frustration at the time like help me out here give me options what should i do now, and I got nothing from the CM .

 

[lisadr]

no no the only one who will miss the crt will be the neice but if i change the ressie to a different day then it falls on one kids bday and not the other so that is why that particular day to celebrate was chosen to avoid that issue.

Then for the love of L.Ron Hubbard-just tell you SIL you can't accommodate her and she will have to figure out something to do with HER daughter while you and YOUR daughters are having lunch. This is not your problem-it's hers.

You are gonna give yourself a stroke over something that has nothing to do with your kids.

Here's how to handle this:

"I am sorry Mary (or whatever), I tried to change our ressies and they can't do it. Here's the number to Disney ressie system you are more than welcome to keep trying, but if you can't get a ressie we will meet up with you later after lunch."

End of story.

 

[kwilliamsrn]

Then for the love of L.Ron Hubbard-just tell you SIL you can't accommodate her and she will have to figure out something to do with HER daughter while you and YOUR daughters are having lunch. This is not your problem-it's hers.

You are gonna give yourself a stroke over something that has nothing to do with your kids.

Here's how to handle this:

"I am sorry Mary (or whatever), I tried to change our ressies and they can't do it. Here's the number to Disney ressie system you are more than welcome to keep trying, but if you can't get a ressie we will meet up with you later after lunch."

End of story.

well as it turns out made DH do that (call his sister) and told him unless the phone call has to do with our direct plans he should call everyday between the two of them they can figure it out it is his family. especially since i took all the heat on this board i don't even want to be bothered I am taking my kids and that is it. Now you can all tell me how selfish I sound, because that is the way I felt like I sounded when I told him.

 

[tlbwriter]

well as it turns out made DH do that (call his sister) and told him unless the phone call has to do with our direct plans he should call everyday between the two of them they can figure it out it is his family. especially since i took all the heat on this board i don't even want to be bothered I am taking my kids and that is it. Now you can all tell me how selfish I sound, because that is the way I felt like I sounded when I told him.

No, you don't sound selfish at all. You sound like someone who has wisely drawn some boundaries and is taking care of her own family, and not sacrificing her own well-made plans in order to placate latecomers. Good job.

 

[jmpurdy]

The best thing you can do is establish boundaries right now with YOUR family (you, your DH, and your kids) and your extended family. If they (extended family) gets upset, too bad. Now they know how difficult it is to switch ressies. They may not have known before (and you learned a valuable lesson here too about ressies), but they and you l now know that once made, it is very difficult to move dates/times at some places. I think everyone is just trying (not really succeeding) to have you step back and not stress over it. We can't help you there, but everyone here is trying their best, but honestly you are coming across that a deviation is going to really upset you and this in turn upsets everyone else. The way this will go is up to you and DH to steer the course as they say. If you are upset, your kids will be upset. If you are calm, your kids will be calm(er) in any situation.

 

[Kit'smommy]

well as it turns out made DH do that (call his sister) and told him unless the phone call has to do with our direct plans he should call everyday between the two of them they can figure it out it is his family. especially since i took all the heat on this board i don't even want to be bothered I am taking my kids and that is it. Now you can all tell me how selfish I sound, because that is the way I felt like I sounded when I told him.

Hey you won't get me telling you how selfish you are! I would have told my DH the same. I love his family, but I wouldn't necessarily spend hours on the phone for them.

Just a thought - My DS is turning 5 this year. He doesn't have a clue what day his B'day is unless our family tells him "Hey, today is your birthday!" Due to our jobs (busiest week of the month during busy season) it is impossible for us to do much to celebrate his birthday on his actual day, so for the last two years, we have celebrated it on the following Saturday instead of the actual day. This is especially easy to do at Disney where we have been encouraged to wear our pins for our entire stay. Time and dates is a hard concept to grasp for most preschoolers.

 

[lisadr]

well as it turns out made DH do that (call his sister) and told him unless the phone call has to do with our direct plans he should call everyday between the two of them they can figure it out it is his family. especially since i took all the heat on this board i don't even want to be bothered I am taking my kids and that is it. Now you can all tell me how selfish I sound, because that is the way I felt like I sounded when I told him.

No, now you sound like an adult. You worry about your family and SIL worries about hers. There is nothing wrong with that.

I am going to say this and it is not to be nasty. You need to take a step back and loosen up on the reins a bit. Your children are going to WDW-something lots of kids don't get to do. They are young and it is their first time-they will have a good time as long as YOU have a good time. Relax and go with the flow and they will. And when they look back they will remember how their mommy and daddy took them to WDW and how great it was not 1 or 2 things that went astray. It's the theory as when they fall and scrape a knee-if you don't panic-neither will they.

Kids feed off the parents. If you don't relax and take it easy, you will ruin your trip and theirs.

 

[chocovrdmicears]

well as it turns out made DH do that (call his sister) and told him unless the phone call has to do with our direct plans he should call everyday between the two of them they can figure it out it is his family. especially since i took all the heat on this board i don't even want to be bothered I am taking my kids and that is it. Now you can all tell me how selfish I sound, because that is the way I felt like I sounded when I told him.

Yeah!!!! You are NOT selfish! You did the right thing!!!!!You have enough on your plate without worrying about SIL!! Now...step away from the planning for a bit....relax...start getting excited about the absolutely FABULOUS time you are going to have with your girls! I am so excited for you! Your girls are at such a magical age to experience Disney. And you are staying at one of my absolute favorite resorts. The Poly is such a beautiful and relaxing place.
Imagine in a little over two weeks you can be sitting on the beach with your DH at the Poly, sipping a lovely OHana Coladalove: ) while your kids play in the sand watching Wishes together.
WARNING: You will be spoiled by the convience of the monorail and it will be difficult to stay anywhere else.
Here's some extra for you and your families trip.
Please be sure to let us know how everything turned out when you get home!

 

[kwilliamsrn]

thank you for the advice, but the funny thing is I surely hope in the future when we go back to disney as a family it will be less planning and more letting the trip flow as it should,hang by the pool go to the parks whatever happens happens.
I spend everyday dealing wtih staffing and all the other junk that is all about planning I don't want to have to do it for vacation too.

saying that, that is why I put so much into this trip. This will be the only. From here on in it is go with the flow and pick one thing each that they want to do and that is it.

Or we can just cruise and that is the only thing to plan

 

[crisi]

well as it turns out made DH do that (call his sister) and told him unless the phone call has to do with our direct plans he should call everyday between the two of them they can figure it out it is his family. especially since i took all the heat on this board i don't even want to be bothered I am taking my kids and that is it. Now you can all tell me how selfish I sound, because that is the way I felt like I sounded when I told him.

Why would we tell you you were selfish?....that's what the rest of us do when our family makes unreasonable demands.

"Your lack of planning does not consistute my emergency."

Your daughters have been looking forward to CRT. You made the call probably right when reservations needed to be made knowing how fast this books. Your SIL decided to join you past the point where reservations for this very popular meal need to be made. You graciously agreed to call and see if they can fit her in. They cannot. You can now disappoint your own children and cancel, or go anyway.

If your husband and sister in law are not happy, they can keep calling and make a reservation. It would be far more selfish of your sister in law to deprive your kids of something they've been looking forward to because she chose to join you last minute than for you to keep those plans.

 

[kwilliamsrn]

Hey you won't get me telling you how selfish you are! I would have told my DH the same. I love his family, but I wouldn't necessarily spend hours on the phone for them.

Just a thought - My DS is turning 5 this year. He doesn't have a clue what day his B'day is unless our family tells him "Hey, today is your birthday!" Due to our jobs (busiest week of the month during busy season) it is impossible for us to do much to celebrate his birthday on his actual day, so for the last two years, we have celebrated it on the following Saturday instead of the actual day. This is especially easy to do at Disney where we have been encouraged to wear our pins for our entire stay. Time and dates is a hard concept to grasp for most preschoolers.

I wish, the day care/early learning I send my two nuts/princesses, teach them everything. including the date of their bday, english and spanish, how to tell time so now i can't even get away with five minutes bieng twenty mins. you gotta love that one.
I can't get over what they are learning I don't remember knowing half the stuff they know now my kid tells me look to the right and you will see what i am talking about.

my oldest told me this morning " mommy i have to tll you something, that show you taped for us last night about making high school musical. It was boring all they did was talk"

 

[mjkacmom]

My 3 adult kids STILL say 'you liked so and so best'! In jest now, but I heard it all through their childhood and I FELL for it hook, line and sinker. My two daughters are 16 months apart. Trust me, I thought I was scarring them for life too at times. They are the closest sisters ever. Could you step back just alittle and see that it's just small blip on the radar. Once they realize how prolific the characters are in the parks, missing that one event won't matter. Trust the pros on this board (I'm still learning even though we've been to WDW so many times I can't count in the past 28 years).

With my five, I tell them that "life's not fair," and if someone asks why another gets something, we tell them "because mommy and daddy love them more" - shuts them right up!

 

[allison443]

So the bottom line is that you are unhappy because you got a supervisor instead of an automated phone survey ? THAT is your bad Disney experience ?

OP "asked" for the survey after not getting what she wanted, maybe the csr felt like OP would leave a very negative response so to protect themselves, the csr put her through to the supervisor.....

 

[kwilliamsrn]

Why would we tell you you were selfish?....that's what the rest of us do when our family makes unreasonable demands.

"Your lack of planning does not consistute my emergency."

Your daughters have been looking forward to CRT. You made the call probably right when reservations needed to be made knowing how fast this books. Your SIL decided to join you past the point where reservations for this very popular meal need to be made. You graciously agreed to call and see if they can fit her in. They cannot. You can now disappoint your own children and cancel, or go anyway.

If your husband and sister in law are not happy, they can keep calling and make a reservation. It would be far more selfish of your sister in law to deprive your kids of something they've been looking forward to because she chose to join you last minute than for you to keep those plans.

oh yes at the crack of dawn at exactly 180 days right in the middle of that DR system change and noone knew what was going on/ and yet even that phone call with 15 different things to do in one phone call the CM was awesome and super patient.
my girls only care about dumbo ride tea cups the carousel and eating with cindarella and mickey singing happy birthday. That is all they talk about.

 

[kwilliamsrn]

With my five, I tell them that "life's not fair," and if someone asks why another gets something, we tell them "because mommy and daddy love them more" - shuts them right up!

That is hysterical. my 5yr old (in 2 weeks) now crosses her arms and goes and pout and says you like her better she got more, you make me sad, or you hurt my feelings.

Or the best is we have the portable disney dvd players in the car to try and keep the noise to a min. and now we fight who will sit on the button side of the car. the best part is the younger is better at figuring out what to push so she can watch what she wants and it drives the other crazy.

 

[kwilliamsrn]

what will i do when we are back from disney because I use that for everything if you don't share you won't go and so on....

then what

 

[tlbwriter]

what will i do when we are back from disney because I use that for everything if you don't share you won't go and so on....

then what

You can't share everything. This can be a lesson on planning ahead, on being a gracious "winner," and on not giving up something you worked for just because someone else wants it (could come in handy when some little manipulator says "if you give me your X I'll be your friend!") There will always be things they get to do that someone else doesn't get to do - and vice versa!

 

[kwilliamsrn]

You can't share everything. This can be a lesson on planning ahead, on being a gracious "winner," and on not giving up something you worked for just because someone else wants it (could come in handy when some little manipulator says "if you give me your X I'll be your friend!") There will always be things they get to do that someone else doesn't get to do - and vice versa!

no I mean how will i bribe some goodnes out of my children. so far disney has helped with them gong to sleep on their own, brushing teeth everynight. They will work for disney/ princesses just not if mommy or daddy are asking

 

[tlbwriter]

no I mean how will i bribe some goodnes out of my children. so far disney has helped with them gong to sleep on their own, brushing teeth everynight. They will work for disney/ princesses just not if mommy or daddy are asking

Oh. Well, once they've got the Disney bug, you'll be able to use it against them forever. "If you don't go to bed, we'll never go to Disney again!"

 

[kwilliamsrn]

verry happy to here that my DH and I were seriously wondering that one. They even could care less about santa but no disney is like the world will end.
like I said to someone on another board, told the kids I was calling mickey to tell them they were not being lood. when i walked away the younger one picked up the phone to call back and thell himm they would be good.