My friend is going to ruin my trip!!!!!! UPDATED #84!!

[Ratatosk]

You're probably not even going to run into them, so try not to worry about it.

During our last trip we knew of 3 other families from the area, including DH's cousin and never ran into anybody we knew.

 

[kamik86]

You've gotten a lot of good advice on how to handle your "friend". In my opinion, she is definitely not a friend, and more of a stalker.

However, based on the bolded part above, you really need to have a serious discussion with your husband and explain that you've done everything you can to prevent her from crashing your vacation. Ultimately, you can't control her actions, and your DH needs to be prepared for that and not be upset with you if she decides to act on her threats.

I think you're now realizing that she's not the friend you thought she was, and realize that from this point forward you're going to have to limit your interactions with her. If you explain all this to DH, and he still gets upset with you because your "friend" shows up during your trip, I think you've got an even bigger problem.

Although I agree if her DH gets really upset with her that would be an issue I can understand the DH being really annoyed. My husband has co-workers that he knows I don't get along with and thus would not put me in a situation where i have to deal with them if he can help that. Since as stated in this thread this "friend" has before gotten upset when people didn't want to see her at WDW I would understand if her DH was annoyed with her for telling her any plans. If my DH did something like that I would fully expect him to do ANYTHING he had to do to make this person leave (including WDW security) and if he decided the friendship was more important would be very annoyed about the situation. As to me that would be saying that the friendship was more important then the marriage.

 

[tlbwriter]

You're probably not even going to run into them, so try not to worry about it.

During our last trip we knew of 3 other families from the area, including DH's cousin and never ran into anybody we knew.

Were those people stalkers who WANTED to hang with you and knew your family's plans?

 

[mellormousee]

Switch resorts if you can. I had a similiar situation in 07 and it ended a 30 year friendship. A true friend would respect your feelings.

 

[piperdown]

Although I agree if her DH gets really upset with her that would be an issue I can understand the DH being really annoyed. My husband has co-workers that he knows I don't get along with and thus would not put me in a situation where i have to deal with them if he can help that. Since as stated in this thread this "friend" has before gotten upset when people didn't want to see her at WDW I would understand if her DH was annoyed with her for telling her any plans. If my DH did something like that I would fully expect him to do ANYTHING he had to do to make this person leave (including WDW security) and if he decided the friendship was more important would be very annoyed about the situation. As to me that would be saying that the friendship was more important then the marriage.

I agree that the DH has reasons to be annoyed, and I agree that OP should do everything in her power (including WDW security) to stop the "friend" from acting on her threats. Given that the "friend" has shown herself to be unstable, the friendship should definitely not take precedence over DH's feelings.

However, based on my reading of the original post, it sounded as if DH would be upset if the "friend" showed up during their vacation, regardless of what OP had done or will do to prevent and/or stop it. To me, that is unreasonable.

 

[marcgiu]

If she does make a point of "running" into after you have asked her nicely to let you enjoy your holiday you I would walk the other way.

If she is crazy enough to start following you arond the park she is not a friend that I woudl recommend keeping in touch with.

In fact if she does "follow" you around the park you might as well have an argument with her about it. I am sure she will then get the message and at least then its out in the open........

 

[scrappinginontario]

I kept reading this post hoping to hear the OP say that you've changed resorts. There are 4 value resorts, all with the same $$ involved so I would be calling WDW and having your resort changed ASAP. You don't want to be looking over your shoulder everytime you enter or leave your resort.

I agree with others who say that Disney is HUGE! If you're staying at a different resort from the one she thinks and switch around your park plans there is no way you should bump into her. I feel badly that you need to do this but in the long run I'm guessing you'll be thankful.

You deserve to have the very best trip you can and it appears this will only happen if you don't even need to concern yourself with seing this person. (Regardless of how long you've known her I find it hard to refer to her as your 'friend'. Friends don't do what she is saying she will do!!)

I also agree with those who have said you need to put a note on your reservation stating that under no circumstances should your information be shared with anyone, not even that you're staying there. I'm sure Disney would do this for you.

Call Disney, make the changes to your resort, dining reservations, barber reservations, parks and then prepare to have an AMAZING time and not even think about this person.

What a sad, sad life she must live to be able to do this to someone. Wow! I feel badly for her in some senses but much worse for you and all that she is trying to do to you.

You have many of us curious now. Please let us know what you decide...but no details!

 

[lamb616]

I kept reading this post hoping to hear the OP say that you've changed resorts. There are 4 value resorts, all with the same $$ involved so I would be calling WDW and having your resort changed ASAP. You don't want to be looking over your shoulder everytime you enter or leave your resort.

I agree with others who say that Disney is HUGE! If you're staying at a different resort from the one she thinks and switch around your park plans )

I also agree with those who have said you need to put a note on your reservation stating that under no circumstances should your information be shared with anyone, not even that you're staying there. I'm sure Disney would do this for you.

Call Disney, make the changes to your resort, dining reservations, barber reservations, parks and then prepare to have an AMAZING time and not even think about this person.

What a sad, sad life she must live to be able to do this to someone. Wow! I feel badly for her in some senses but much worse for you and all that she is trying to do to you.

tfl:

ditto all this. She sounds like a nutjob. Chances are you won't "bump into" her at the parks, but I would still change your park days (if she knows which days you planned for each park). Also, DEFINITELY see if you can change your resort. You shoulnd't have a problem getting a room in another value.

 

[Ratatosk]

Were those people stalkers who WANTED to hang with you and knew your family's plans?

One was DH's annoying cousin and demonspawn children who knew exactly where we were staying and vice versa; however, they weren't stalkers and have a different vacation mentality -- we pretty much are at the parks until close whereas they like to hang around the pool midafternoon.

 

[Ronda93]

As for Disney being a public place... in truth it's private property. They can ask/make people leave without "due process". If one guest upsets another and won't stop bothering the upset s/he will be shown the door.

"that group is not in my travel party. I am uncomfortable that they continue to follow me and my children" will get the ball rolling. Names will be collected and stories will be swapped within Disney security. Sadly, I'll bet they deal with people like this woman all the time.

If you catch a glimpse of her at your hotel again contact sercurity. Let them approach and determine that she has NO REASON to be there. Disney will be all over her and her demonspawn.

If she wants to play the "public place" game with them they can arrest her for trespassing.

You know this already, but do not attempt to reason with her or explain why. Just tell her to go away. You do not have a friendship with her. You are her hostage.

Ronda

 

[Aliceacc]

As for Disney being a public place... in truth it's private property. They can ask/make people leave without "due process". If one guest upsets another and won't stop bothering the upset s/he will be shown the door.

"that group is not in my travel party. I am uncomfortable that they continue to follow me and my children" will get the ball rolling. Names will be collected and stories will be swapped within Disney security. Sadly, I'll bet they deal with people like this woman all the time.

If you catch a glimpse of her at your hotel again contact sercurity. Let them approach and determine that she has NO REASON to be there. Disney will be all over her and her demonspawn.

If she wants to play the "public place" game with them they can arrest her for trespassing.

You know this already, but do not attempt to reason with her or explain why. Just tell her to go away. You do not have a friendship with her. You are her hostage.

Ronda

Personally I probably would have left off the "demonspawn" part, but otherwise I agree completely!

 

[DisneyChula]

She is right, Disney is open to the public. I still do not see how that gives her the right to dictate to you how and with whom your family spends your time. If she tries to use that "logic" again, I would respond with 'Yes it is, but we are talking about my personal family vacation. Would you tell a stranger that your kids want to hang out with their kids so that's just what they are going to do?' Then again my smart*** mouth has gotten me into trouble more than once!

 

[tlbwriter]

One was DH's annoying cousin and demonspawn children who knew exactly where we were staying and vice versa; however, they weren't stalkers and have a different vacation mentality -- we pretty much are at the parks until close whereas they like to hang around the pool midafternoon.

Then you can't compare them to someone who WANTS to join you. If she wants to join them, and knows their plans, there's a very good chance she will find them.

 

[ccgirl]

I need some help with dealing with a friend who insists on visiting me and my family during our trip to Disney.

A brief history: She lives in FL. My DH does not care for her. I love her but I have never enjoyed being around her children. As they get older I like them even less. (Long story short: they're lazy, mouthy, sneaky and whiny...and they're both teens!) This is our very first trip to WDW and our very first family vacation as well. She goes to WDW every 6 weeks for a day trip and stays at the park for a week every year with her husband and friends (no kids). She plans on coming out for at least three of the 5 days we'll be in the parks.

My DH and I had a conversation about the upcoming trip two nights ago. He was very resistant to going to WDW and I literally worked YEARS to get him to agree to go. He's put in a ton of OT at his job to help pay for this trip. He was not happy when he found out that my friend was planning on coming to visit and he told me that if she shows up on our trip he's going to be upset. In the recent past I've tried telling her how excited we were about it being just the four of us but she hasn't understood that to mean she shouldn't come. So yesterday I had to tell her in no uncertain terms.

I told her that DH and I would prefer she not join us on our trip, that we were really looking forward to the trip being just the four of us, and that we would plan for a visit the next time. (DH and I have already decided that we'll go back.) She said "Disney is a public place and you can't control where I show up. My kids were looking forward to hanging out with your kids so that's what they'll do."

I told her that Disney was a public place and she was right, I can't keep her from showing up. I also said that my children are 6 years younger than her youngest child so really that argument doesn't wash. I asked her to respect my feelings and keep her distance from our vacation. She just said NO and then made an excuse to hang up.

So what do I do now? She knows where we're staying. She knows a basic guideline of our plans. I can alternate some of my park plans but I have reservations at certain parks...and she knows about them. If she shows up DH will be unbelievably upset with ME and he may not want to go on vacation again. (Seriously...I worked for YEARS!)

Any ideas on what to say to this friend to get her to understand and respect my feelings?

Haven't read all the replies but she totally does not sound like a "friend." She may know where you are staying but they will not give out your room number. She also won't know what parks you are going to on which days and I wouldn't share that info with her either.

 

[Ratatosk]

tlbwriter --- IMHO It's a huge place, they're probably not going to run into them. No need to be RUDE to me for expressing MY opinion.

 

[tlbwriter]

tlbwriter --- IMHO It's a huge place, they're probably not going to run into them. No need to be RUDE to me for expressing MY opinion.

I'm not sure why you felt my post was rude, just because I didn't agree with YOUR opinion (surely, like you, I am allowed to express mine as well?). I'm just saying that the chances of running into any particular group of people are low, but the chances of running into people who know your plans and want to be with you are not low, and there's just no way to compare the two.

 

[crisi]

I think that her 'friend's' chance of finding her depends on to what detail she outlined her plans.

Admit it...some of us have spreadsheets in 30 minute increments. If she is that sort of uberplanner emailed that spreadsheet to her friend - and sticks to her plans - it won't be hard for her friend to find her given persistance and a few days.

But if her plans she shared were really general - like "I made a BBB reservation for Tuesday" or "we are going to Animal Kingdom Wednesday" or "I got a Chef Mickey's reservation" its going to be harder to find her - even if she doesn't change her plans. We spent the whole day in AK with my parents and my SIL and family - and didn't see any of them. We knew everyone was going to the same park on the same day - and weren't opposed to seeing them - but we just never crossed paths.

And Disney CMs can be helpful to a fault. "Oh, I see your friend is over in the Aruba section, I'll put you there." Or "Oh, I see, that reservation is at 6pm." THAT would be my biggest concern.

 

[stashbin]

If you really don't want to change your resort, etc. just call her back and tell her again. Say, "Look, we've been friends long enough that I can be straight up with you. This is our first vacation to Disney and we want it to be just us. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but you have to respect our wishes."

If she still refuses then just go and if you run into her say hello and move on.

 

[jodifla]

I'd be tempted to tell her the trip's off now that DH is afraid she is going to come!

 

[stashbin]

I'd be tempted to tell her the trip's off now that DH is afraid she is going to come!

That's not a bad idea...she could get her house phone forwarded to her cell phone!!!