Help: Grandparents want to come to WDW but don't want to walk or stand in line much

[Yarbogash]

Hi,

We are doing a cruise in early March. DH and DW with our two kids, DS 6, DD 1. My parents, both in their late seventies, are coming on the cruise and want to join us in Orlando for the week after the cruise. We'd be in Orlando Mar 12-19. This is surprising as we go to WDW almost every year they have never expressed interest in coming before. They have even offered to put us up for free using time share swap at Silver Lake, condo resort right by AK.
Sounds great, a very generous offer and I am very happy family can spend more time together but problems are we prefer staying on site (I'd rather pay and stay on site), we don't like going when it's really busy (crowd calendars say that week will be very busy), my mom said she wants to go and 'do what we do' but she doesn't want to stand in line anywhere and on top of that neither of them has good mobility and neither would use a wheelchair or scooter.
So in my mind this visit could just be a disaster. I've stayed at Silver Lake, decent but not a 'destination resort.' Not somewhere my parents would be happy too long sitting around while we are at the parks.
I'm thinking if we take their offer of accommodation I'd splurge on a VIP tour for us all but not sure if they could handle even that.
Not sure what to do. Anyone had experience with seniors who won't use mobility assist at WDW? Any tips on how to make this work?

 

[EPCOT is a verb]

Wow, that's a tough one. I was so happy that my Mom readily agreed when I suggested a scooter. She just doesn't have the endurance for WDW.

 

[FloridianNY]

I would suggest you plan your trip as you normally would by setting up FastPasses and dining and then have your parents join in when they are able and comfortable. Of course it would be easier on them to use a scooter or wheelchair, but I understand not everyone is comfortable with that. Maybe they don't realize just how much walking is involved? The good thing is, if they decide to get a wheelchair even some of the time that is easy to do.
The nice thing about WDW is there are many places to sit and take a break. I know when my boys were younger and we would take them on Small World, for instance, my mom would find a place to sit and rest while we went on that because she was not comfortable getting in and out of the boats with her bad knee. We would then meet her back where we left her resting and move on to the next ride. I don't know if your parents have ever been to Disney before, so are their expectations of the walking realistic? I do agree that staying on property would be easier for all involved. We have had many many vacations there and have stayed both on and off property but with young children it really pays to stay on property. Plus it would be easier for your parents if they need a break or want to meet you later etc.
I know my parents favorite things when the grandchildren were young was joining us for character meals. They really enjoyed those with the kids.
Your parents also need to be aware of the fact that say Soarin has a very long walk to get to the actual ride or that Animal Kingdom is a huge park with mostly outdoor attractions and a lot of walking so they can make decisions as to what they would like to do and see. But I think FastPasses for all of you will keep the waiting and standing times to a minimum and getting a feel for what they want to do is important. Remind them they can always take a break for a few minutes while you take the kids on Dumbo or something. They can sit in air-condition with a cold drink and then join you a short time after for the next thing. Even before my husband had knee replacement he would take breaks like that. He refused a wheelchair etc. so we just made it work. I think the little breaks help keep everyone happy, even the kids. I hope you have a wonderful trip

 

[Lori74]

i would say either lessen your expectations and not do as much as you'd like, or have a serious conversation with them and show how many options there are for them to enjoy part of the day with your family and part on their own taking it slow. we just got back from an extended family trip and my mil had the same concerns. I scheduled fastpasses, and we just went and rented a wheelchair even though she said she wouldn't use one. we told her if she wants to use it, its there, and she will be able to keep up with us. surprisingly, she used it. I think she felt bad we spent our money on it, but she gladly used it all day and everyone had a great time. however, I would let them know there will be lines, anywhere. but with research and fastpasses, you can cut down the waiting and still do a lot. you also may want to splurge on a room on site for them to go rest in for the day? good luck!

 

[TXAKDisneyFan]

I'd be honest and say you want to stay on property, but let them know they're welcome to stay where they want. Maybe tell them what amenities different resorts have.

On our most recent trip (May 2015), neither of my parents would use a wheelchair or scooter, either (despite my mom having had pretty extensive surgery on both feet in the recent past, and my dad having both knees replaced). I asked for their input on restaurants and fastpasses (told them our preferences and gave them info on restaurants and rides), then made plans for everyone. They ended up only joining us for some of our ADRs and FP+. We spent some of the time with them (they knew they were always welcome to join us), and they also felt free to go do what they wanted (a couple times they went back to CBR to relax or to DS).

Maybe you could suggest they rent a car so they don't have to stand in bus lines?

We've never done a VIP tour (no matter how much money is burning a hole in my pocket, I still can't justify the cost), but I've read they can be very tiring. Isn't there something like a 6 hour minimum? I doubt my parents, for instance, would want to be on the go for 6+ hours straight (and I know DH, the kids, and I would get antsy if we were paying all that money to sit and take frequent breaks).

 

[Carrie in AZ]

Honestly, I feel you need to have a heart to heart with them and dissuade them from this plan. Have they ever been to DW before? Do they know it requires MILES of walking each day and lots of standing just waiting to get in, let alone waiting in attraction lines. They say they don't need a wheelchair or scooter but, in truth, they do. You have a 6yo and an infant, they need to be in strollers or a double. I just don't see how this can work and be magical at the same time. My heart goes out to you because you are in a tough spot. If they have never been before, they have NO IDEA what they are in for. Sure, there could be lots of special moments with the kids, but it could be very, very stressful also.

They will have so many magical moments with you and the kids on the ship -- seeing the kids excitement, posing as a family with the characters, etc. I firmly believe they will be ready to get back home after being gone a week. I say this because my own Mom is elderly. We took her to Disneyland when she was 78 and in good health, but her presence still very much limited what we could do and she was EXHAUSTED.

If you ended up staying onsite, do you feel they could navigate Disney transportation on their own? If you were in the WS for example and they were tired, could they say to you "ok, we're tired, we're gonna go get on the bus and take it back to the resort, call us when you're back and we'll be ready to meet up for dinner at 7"? Or, could they say "it's time for the baby's nap, let us take her back for a nap and we'll rest also". Could they somehow navigate through a park, get on a bus and get themselves back to the resort? If the answer to that is no, then I would think long and hard about them going with you because then you are responsible for not only your two but for them also!

Good luck with this. It is not easy.

 

[glassslippergirl]

If your parents have never expressed an interest in accompanying you to WDW before, they probably have a really good reason for wanting to now. Their offer to cover lodgings is very generous and shows how much they want to go. They've probably heard so many stories about the memories you've created there, they want to be a part of it just once. I think it's nice.

You will be coming from a cruise, so you will have Disney accommodations there. With that in mind, would it really be so bad to stay off site? Rent a car. They can take it back to the room if they get tired. You can call them to pick you up if you need.

As for the walking and standing in line, that's just a fact of WDW. Another fact is that there's plenty of places to sit. My grandpa had heart trouble, and he and my grandma would sit and wait for us a lot when he needed to rest. Let them know that they can rest whenever they need, and you'll come check on them or meet them somewhere at a certain time. Also let them know they can get a wheelchair whenever they want, maybe even share one (or a scooter) switching off as needed. Either they will decide to try to be part of most of the events by using the wheelchair, or they will go more at their own pace meeting up with you throughout the day.

I think maybe they're just hoping to experience a few magical moments with you. So make it easy. Schedule some character meals where they can see the kids interact with the characters while they sit in air conditioning. FP rides they will enjoy. I'd skip the VIP-- too much for them; put the money aside for another trip where your immediate family can enjoy it.

 

[momimouse27]

That's a tough one. I feel for you as it seems you are in a difficult situation. I'm sure you really want your parents to be a part of your vacation, but in essence there are some things you really don't have the power to change about WDW. I mean, as you know, the parks in essence include standing in line. No way around it, especially during that time of year its a given.

I agree with the poster above who said the best thing for you to do is sit and have a honest heart to heart. Let them know how much it means that they want to be generous and how much you really want them to come. But then lay out the hard, cold facts. You are doing Disney World and there WILL be lines. I would let them know that you have no issues with them coming and going as they feel comfortable. Just say that you have laid out an extensive touring plan and would be more than happy to include them, if they want, but that if its too rigorous for their lifestyles that you'd be happy to help them get back and forth to their hotel/timeshare.

Another thing, maybe if you explain to them the perks to them and the ease of mobility when the parks are too much, they might be more willing to go along with your family by staying on site. Good luck and I hope it works out for you

 

[mom2rtk]

I'm not sure there's an answer here that will make all parties happy. There's just so much walking at WDW, even on a slow day. I think an honest conversation is in order. Maybe take them with you one or two days in the parks then to some ADRs in the evenings?

 

[mrzrich]

I really think that on site would be a better idea. That way if they want to go back to the resort, they can.

My mother is 83 and walks the park pretty well, but every senior is different.

My advice is rope drop. Leave the park after lunch. Take a breather. Return to the park after a nice dinner, or plan dinner at a park. Take in some fireworks. Maybe do Hoop Dee Doo one night.

The trip will not be the Disney trip you are used to. But it sounds like your parents want to experience this with their grandchildren

 

[Hisgirl]

I took my parents when they were both 83. I think your folks see this as their one last fling with yall at disney and probably not something they would be doing again, so they are wanting to go all out and enjoy themselves, doing what you do.

But.....they just have no notion what that means in mid March, with potential shoulder to shoulder crowds.

They also aren't aware a five day trips visiting a park each day could easily be 30 miles of walking.

SO...with that said, I would say it's time to have a heart to heart. Share with them your absolute love of their offer but that yall have something even better. Bunk in a fantastic place where they can relax. I booked the Grand Floridian, two rooms. I know, I know...it was expensive, but we used discount rates, a 20% travelocity coupon and ebates cash back. And it was worth it.

My parents rented scooters at our insistence. They didn't want to. They walk at the gym 3x per week. But I told them it was a no go unless they did.
It was great for them to come back to the resort and rest and just hop on the monorail.

They did great. They weren't worn out and I used some fancy strategy to keep them out of lines. We did rope drop, used fast passes and touring plans. All in all they love epcot the best.

HOpe it all works out well!

 

[Delilah1310]

we had an extended family trip with my parents a few years ago ... parents in late 70s and not willing to use scooter or wheelchair for my father who has a bad knee.

and the thing we learned was that we didn't have to spend every single second together for it to be special. We would all start the day together and do a ride or two that everyone agreed on. but after that we all spilt up and did separate activities. We would meet up for lunch or dinner and then again, spend time doing a few activities together and then spilt up again. We discovered that my dad LOVED buzz lightyear and liked to ride that again and again, trying to beat his score!

Everyone was on their own pace, the grandparents didn't feel like they were slowing us down but still got to be part of the experience, and we never felt like we were waiting on them. We just knew when we were all together, things were a little slower but we could pick up our usual go-go-go approach later.

perhaps if you just go into this particular trip as being a little bit different than your usual ones - those can happen again another time.
also, i would recommend some special things like a dessert party - it was nice for the grandparents to have the space and viewing spot without camping out on the curb. Plus they loved the Fantastic show. so maybe consider some splurges like that ... where you are really paying for convenience and a chair. just a thought.

good luck! I really hope you have magical time and are able to make it work!

 

[scrapbookjulie]

My parents went with us every year when DD was young. They don't go anymore because they know they just can't keep our pace for that kind of "vacation." Their second to last year going, they did keep pace, but they were miserable and aching. The following year they still wanted to come, but they only came for one day of our trip, and they just did what they could. They didn't zigzag across the park with us. They took lots of breaks to rest. They would go to shows where they could sit inside, and we'd just meet back up with them when we were done with whatever rides we were running across the park to get to. I would discuss it with your parents and decide if they are willing to let you do your own thing while they rest or if you are going to scale back your pace to match theirs.

 

[Yarbogash]

I am so glad I posted here. These are some great and very thoughtful replies. Ty for all of them. May sound funny but I didn't realize how stressed I was about all this until I read some of these comments and felt some of that stress easing. Definitely need to have a heart to heart and will be quoting a number of these replies. Will post with what we work out and thanks again!

 

[Carrie in AZ]

I replied above and just thought of some more things to say! The poster above who stated that every senior is different is spot on. As I mentioned, we took my Mom when she was 78 because she really had a desire to experience Disney with my DDs, her DGDs and had heard so much about our magical trips. It was a rough trip for her in that there was so much walking, standing and waiting but other things, too. For example, she was always the one who was cold and commented on it, meals were sooo costly and she just can't enjoy food when it costs so much and would make comments about the pricing which grated on me. We just don't give it much thought because we are use to the pricing and wouldn't go in the first place if we were concerned about it. Are your parents frugal and will have a lot to say about the $18 hamburgers, etc? She prefers her own bed vs the hotel bed -- stuff like that which is harder to roll with when someone gets older.

We had some magical moments for sure, cute pictures of Grandma dancing with Minnie on her birthday which is such a sweet memory. But it was definitely a different trip than how it normally is with just our immediate family.

All my best to all of you!

 

[Accident]

neither of them has good mobility and neither would use a wheelchair or scooter.

I find the strong minded quickly change their mind when they are here and it's a mile to get coffee. My mom is the same way and she can't get from the car to the doctors office without a wheelchair and doesn't do anything else because she doesn't want to need a wheelchair. Uou know your parents best, if they can handle a scooter, have a scooter rental sent to the resort so when they get there. It's easier to get them in it if it's already there. If they can't handle the scooter, get a wheelchair rental sent to the resort and same thing.

They will be ready for it by the time they get from the lobby to the room (and luckily your options for them will be near the lobby). they will also see others in them and they will get some similar age advice on how not using it here is not wise. I would be shocked if you came back and said even with it in front of them, they decided they won't use it.

 

[SplashMo]

Take them to Epcot. There are very few rides there. You can rope drop SOARIN and TT and they can join you early or meet you there around 10:30 for the rest of the activities.

One day go to AK around 3PM with them. They will want to go on the Safari ride. They can eat or rest or see shows while folks do the other rides. In the morning you have already rope dropped MK with FP+. They can use FP+ in AK.

For DHS Are they going to go on RnR and ToT? Likely not. On that day Rope drop MK without parents (maybe they hit Disney Springs) and then everyone hit DHS around 2PM. Have dinner and ride rides. They can watch some shows. Then hopefully see F! or fireworks.

That only leaves the MK day. Again Rope drop and perhaps they meet you there for Lunch until 3PM. Everyone heads back for a break and then some folks head back for the fireworks...

 

[jo-jo]

I haven't read every post, but wanted to throw my thoughts in too. Your baby is one , they are late 70's. I don't know if you go to disney every year, but they might see it as their last chance.

As far as not using a wheelchair. My DH walks fine, just slow and sometimes his balance isn't so great. But give him a stroller or a shopping cart to hold on to and his is much better. Standing in one spot is hard on his back for him. For Epcot/AK I plan to get a wheelchair, use it, don't use, we can push it around and there is always an instant seat when waiting or watching a show. Hey if he feels that great, I'll jump in the chair and he can push me. LOL MK seems to have more spots to rest and not so many outdoor shows watch (as least ones we want to see).

I don't know where you were thinking of staying, but I'd say if you could rent points and stay at a 2 bedroom villa. You would be all together but still your own space. It's hard to say where though. We love love love AKL as a resort. We sit on the balcony , watch animals and read our books. Yes we are wild crazy people. But our memories of seeing the grandkids watching the animals are priceless. A few yrs ago we took our then almost 3 yr DGD. When it was time to leave, DGD says to be "but Grandma I don't want to leave your house"......And told her But this isn't Grandma's house , our house has a horse in the living room. (we have one of those springy horsey things you bounce on)

But to stay at BCV/BWV is super for location. No climbing on and off buses to get to the park. Hard choice

I'd try to arrange some park time together, have a character meal, and take them or sent them back to the hotel(if you feel safe doing ) with assurance you'll meet up with them in 4 or 5 hours. Make sure some of those pictures include them and the kids and the character. Or even just use a fp for a meet and greet like the one in future world.

Another thought, with a villa, you can get some groceries. They may prefer to just have a bite there on their own and meet up with later. I know myself. I'm trying to decide on meal like Ohana.....Getting big meals just doesn't sit well with me anymore. I use to be able to eat pizza at 1 am and sleep like a rock. Now if I ate pizza at one am, there would be no sleep and my stomach would feel like the rock.

Just thought I'd put in some points from an older view.

 

[Nancyg56]

I took my parents when they were both 83. I think your folks see this as their one last fling with yall at disney and probably not something they would be doing again, so they are wanting to go all out and enjoy themselves, doing what you do.

But.....they just have no notion what that means in mid March, with potential shoulder to shoulder crowds.

They also aren't aware a five day trips visiting a park each day could easily be 30 miles of walking.

SO...with that said, I would say it's time to have a heart to heart. Share with them your absolute love of their offer but that yall have something even better. Bunk in a fantastic place where they can relax. I booked the Grand Floridian, two rooms. I know, I know...it was expensive, but we used discount rates, a 20% travelocity coupon and ebates cash back. And it was worth it.

My parents rented scooters at our insistence. They didn't want to. They walk at the gym 3x per week. But I told them it was a no go unless they did.
It was great for them to come back to the resort and rest and just hop on the monorail.

They did great. They weren't worn out and I used some fancy strategy to keep them out of lines. We did rope drop, used fast passes and touring plans. All in all they love epcot the best.

HOpe it all works out well!

I think your post is spot on.

OP- I agree that you need to have a very serious conversation with Mom and Dad. I would insist on nice onsite accomodations, and explain that since they have decided a WDW vacation is in order, you want to "do it right". having an onsite resort allows for compromise that offsite would not. You know that compromise will be necessary but you go every year, so slowing down a little and having the grands make memories in a special place is worth it.

My sister and DBIL took his mom with them several years ago, and they stayed at their timeshare. Holy big old mistake! The place was huge, Mom was not up to all the walking, for some reason a scooter was not in the cards, and no one was happy. I am not saying offsite is a bad thing under normal circumstances, but after hearing how difficult it was for my sister and her husband and mom, and knowing her mobility issues mirror what you say your parents are experiencing, I would say onsite would be better. You will have a lot more freedom to make changes on the fly, Mom and Dad will have more options if they tire during the day, and your family will be able to come and go without guilt.

It's funny, my sister said we should all vacation in WDW together. She is NOT a Disney fan, that ill fated trip I just talked about was the only one since her own children were babies. She said we can all stay at her timeshare resort. My family all said no thanks. I had to explain that I am not willing to try to corral upwards of 10 to 15 people with limited transportation options, diverse wants and needs, in 4 parks and DS. Nope, not happening. If she really wants to vacation as a group, let me know, we will come up with a viable budget and make plans from there.

Whatever you do decide to do, I would keep in mind that you will have the opportunity to go again, and your parents are probably trying to have their one opportunity while the can. You know what is reasonable under the circumstances and are in a better position to plan wha tis reasonable than your parents. If I had to say where the compromise should happen given what you described, I would say they compromise of accomodations, and your family compromise of parks expectations. Bet you a buck your parents enjoy the meals and a few attractions, and then set you all free. It's what I would do with my kids and their families.

 

[rwdavis2]

Show them a map (google maps is good), point out the distance they will HAVE to walk, and then relate them to a distance they are familiar with locally.