Help: Grandparents want to come to WDW but don't want to walk or stand in line much

[TeresaWen]

My husband has mobility issues. He needs to walk slowly and stop often. A few years back went with dear friends and their three young children. I loved how my friend handled this trip.

A planer, she sent me her itinerary (including pool days) and asked me to let her know where & when we were interested in meeting up and what meals we wanted to join. There were also a few spots in her plan where she asked if we could "help" - times when having more than two adults would make things easier for them, One time for example, they took there oldest on a few attractions, my husband hung back with the youngest in the stroller, and I took the middle pin hunting. Best day for everyone.

As far as the resort. Best advice is to be straight. Keep it short and simple but firm. "thank you for your offer but we all prefer to stay onsite. I will make your reservation for you if you choose to join us".

I would have felt bad if my friends modified their plans for us. We all had a great time and made memories I will always cherish.

 

[Nancyg56]

My husband has mobility issues. He needs to walk slowly and stop often. A few years back went with dear friends and their three young children. I loved how my friend handled this trip.

A planer, she sent me her itinerary (including pool days) and asked me to let her know where & when we were interested in meeting up and what meals we wanted to join. There were also a few spots in her plan where she asked if we could "help" - times when having more than two adults would make things easier for them, One time for example, they took there oldest on a few attractions, my husband hung back with the youngest in the stroller, and I took the middle pin hunting. Best day for everyone.

As far as the resort. Best advice is to be straight. Keep it short and simple but firm. "thank you for your offer but we all prefer to stay onsite. I will make your reservation for you if you choose to join us".

I would have felt bad if my friends modified their plans for us. We all had a great time and made memories I will always cherish.

You all handled it with grace. I bet that the trip was not only special for you, but those children were Blessed as well. One of my fondest memories was trip with my DD and family. While she and her DH went off on EE in DAK< my little DGD and I strolled alone along the animal trails. There is something very special that occurs when an adult and a child have that one on one time. I thought that I was the lucky one, but recently I was with my now teenaged DGD and she told me how nice it was that she and I have had made those special memories together. Your friends and your family both took best advantage of what is a very special relationship.

 

[mustlovecats]

I had a similar situation last November with my parents. My mom guilted my dad into coming and he hated standing in lines and crowds. He doesn't mind some walking, but 15 miles/day was a lot for him and he still works out an insane amount and is in great shape. He refused a scooter as well. I would try to convince them to stay on property if possible, that really helped make our trip, even though he grumbled about the cost.

We did the VIP tour and I don't recommend it for someone with mobility issues, there is a lot of walking involved. My dad actually got sick after the first day and we realized we really needed to slow down.

That didn't stop us from finding other magical moments throughout our trip. For instance in Animal Kingdom my dad lover the performers near Tusker House, so we stopped for one of their sets together. My mom and I danced whole my dad took time to rest and just listen. Then my mom and I went off and did some other activities while my dad continued to rest (animal kingdom is super hot).

I do recommend some other splurged if you have the cash. The private fireworks cruises for either illuminations or wishes are awesome. You don't have any walking, you get a nice tour of the lake, and a great view of the fireworks. My dad loves sparkling apple cider and carrot sticks so I had that delivered to the boat, it was one of his best memories from the trip.

Ultimately he was happy to see us having so much fun, and even though he couldn't keep up the whole time he said it was his favorite vacation ever even though he complained daily for the 3 months before our trip (I'm not exaggerating here). We planned the trip the way we normally would and even though we didn't make every fastpass or activity the whole thing fell into place in a way that worked for my parents and for me.

ETA: We added the dining plan to our trip because we knew my dad would not eat otherwise and would balk at the cost of food. I was expecting to lose mone but he had so much fun picking the most expensive things on the menu, something he would never do at home with much lower prices, we came out nearly $900 ahead.

 

[TexasKiwiPrincess]

I love this thread! Thank you so much for starting this conversation! I really hope that my mother will join us on a trip soon, and I love all these suggestions and tips.

What about activities at the resorts? My plan, for this future trip, would be to make rope drop, ride a few rides, have an ADR lunch and then spend the afternoons away from crowds sitting as much as possible. Does anyone know if the resorts offer other activities in the afternoon? Tea Time at GF is the only thing that I can think of. I love the idea of a private fireworks cruise. That would be so special for the entire family.

 

[wfjny]

Been there, done that.

Full Disclosure, been AP holders for the past 5+ years. We make multiple long weekends all year, plus our normal “week long pilgrimage” every summer. So, we would rarely wait on a very long line, because we will just do it another day. We have never done Sorin’ or TSM mania without a fast pass.

We have done Disney with three sets of grandparents:
1 (my mother) would never use a wheelchair
1 set will only use wheel chairs
1 set is open to both

The one that is open to both will go on their own or with adults they will walk as they will go at their own pace. But if they go with grand-children, they will get a wheelchair.

The last trip with my mother, she would go with us to the parks in the morning, but staying in the hotel in the afternoon/evening. She could not keep up with us, which meant one of the adults (my sister and I both had our spouses and two kids each with us). Would up walking with her while the rest ran ahead. At times, this was ok with my mom, she didn’t want to go on space mountain, but the adult caught behind was not so happy.

I agree with the others, you do need to have a heart to heart. While there are many people that are too proud to ride the scooter, it makes the trip possible for many.

I am so glad I posted here. These are some great and very thoughtful replies. Ty for all of them. May sound funny but I didn't realize how stressed I was about all this until I read some of these comments and felt some of that stress easing. Definitely need to have a heart to heart and will be quoting a number of these replies. Will post with what we work out and thanks again!

The worst fight my wife and I ever had (and we rarely argue) was right there in Epcot, in front of The Land. And it was all about her parents, and a lack of communication. I had gone to get fast passes (back in the old days) for Sorin’, and were to all meet up at front of the line for Nemo. Some of us waiting by the Shells, others waiting just inside the doors for 45 minutes started a string of small issues during that day. And it all blew up in front of the Land.

And that about 10 years ago (not long after Nemo opened, hence the reason some of us thought the rest of the party was working their way thru a long line), and yes today we can laugh about it.

 

[LowesChevy]

This is a good topic. We have traveled with different parties to WDW, but most recently it has been my parents and I. They are 60 and my DM tore her meniscus a few years ago and has bad osteoarthritis in her neck and various arthritic areas of her body from fibromyalgia and the result of an accident in her teens. She goes through periods of chronic pain and fatigue, so we find it best to hit rope drop and come back to the room for 2-3 hours mid day so she can rest or nap. It is darn hot in September so getting out of the direct sun for a while is a good idea anyway. My father also had a day where his toe arthritis flared up and he couldn't move as fast, so we slowed down the tempo and took it easy.Naturally I do not get all of the attractions or photos I want during my trip, but everyone still has a wonderful time and that's what I want after all.

Next October we are going my my brother, sister in law and nephews and again the trip will be a little different than usual. Probably a couple buffet or character meals and places we may not normally eat at, but we can sacrifice a favorite meal to spend quality time with the kids. Plus we don't have to eat every meal together-it gets old after a while and the kids can't tolerate a signature dining experience every night like we do. They may just want peanut butter and jelly and Goldfish crackers in the room.

Maybe your parents would enjoy a mid day lunch at the Polynesian, Grand Floridian or other nearby resort while you are at the park. It would get them off their feet and into a relaxing environment for an hour or two, then hook back up at the park for a parade or ride. Maybe a full breakfast to start the day and meet you all later on. The kids can hit some thrill rides early and wait to do more mild rides with the grands.

I also agree open communication is key. It is great that you are telling them honestly about the walking. Most folks don't realize it is not just walking around parks, but to the bus, to the monorail, from the parking lot to the park and so on. We clocked about 4-6 miles are day this part trip. Leave it open that you can rent a wheel chair when you arrive too.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Were you planning on going the week after the cruise anyway or is this their idea? I ask because you stated you don't like to go during busy times.

 

[DreamIsaWish]

You don't need to spend all day together to have a trip together. We have times when we're all together and times when we're not. The grandparents like to go out to World Showcase or to the hotel bar for a nightcap while we keep going through the evening at fireworks, shorter lines for rides, etc. There are plenty of benches and shade when they want to take a break. The Sorcerer game in Magic Kingdom is relaxing since they just follow the kids' lead on that one. They also like to take the kids for a meal in the parks while we get a date. It's pretty easy babysitting for Grandma and Grandpa to just feed the kids at the Land food court and maybe do a ride or two (Nemo, Land boat ride, Spaceship Earth are all good grandparent rides) while we have a meal alone in World Showcase.

Also try to group your activities together. That is, maybe focus on one corner of the park for a few hours with the grandparents (so they don't have to criss-cross the park) and then split up for you to wander more broadly. Get together again after a few hours in a different corner of the park to explore that one. They can rest in between while you cram in more rides.

 

[Ninja Mom]

Years ago My husband and I went on a cruise with my Father in law. He just wanted to stay on the boat and eat. That was it. He refused to do any of the shore excursions and he insisted that my husband stay on the boat with him and sit around eating and looking out the windows. My husband, who has no guts when it comes to his Dad, was willing to put up with this. We were in Alaska and it was the trip of a lifetime. Knowing that my husband wanted to do the shore excursions I issued an ultimatum to him. Either he had to stand up to his Dad and prevent him from ruining the cruise or things would not be so good between us when we got home. I let my Husband deal with my father in law since he was the one that was in the middle and he really wanted to go ashore for the activities.

My husband finally told my FIL that he was going ashore and that he was welcome to join us. My father in Law was quite put out because he could not dictate the terms of the trip to suit his personal agenda. With much complaining and whining he accompanied us on the shore excursions. FIL really wanted to be bitter about not getting his way but those excursions turned out to be his favorite part of the trip so it took the wind out of his storm sails.

The thing that we learned from this experience is to not let others dictate YOUR vacation. In your case I would explain what you wanted to do and how you were going to do it. Let your parents know that they are free to join you for all or some of the trip. When you have two such disparate groups trying to vacation together it's not fair for either party to insist that they get their way while the other half doesn't. Explain your plans and see where you can overlap with your parents plans. Be sure not to allow yourself to be the ones holding the bag if they should over-extend themselves. They have to be able to come and go when they want, and experience what they want. The same goes for you. Try to find things that you both will enjoy and spend PART of your day doing that together.

Family meals are an excellent overlap. Seniors especially enjoy eating and seeing shows. Make it clear that there is a lot of walking and discuss ways like renting a scooter that will enable them to cope with the physical demands of a Disney Vacation. If they are not willing to make concessions inform them that when they are no longer able to keep up you must go your separate ways and they are responsible for getting to where they need to go (Hotel) themselves. Emphasize that you really want to spend time with them but that you have serious doubts that they would be able to keep up. Then make two sets of plans and see where they overlap. That's what you do together.

It's kind of funny because parents never really want to give up the authority that they have, even after their children have become adults. You have to make your concerns clear because a Disney vacation is so physically demanding. Then let them decide what they can live with as far as doing things with you. If you find yourself with parents that insist on dictating the terms of your vacation the my advice is to RUN as far and as fast as you can to avoid putting yourself in that situation.

Present things in the light of "they get to do what they want and you get to do what you want" and you will share the overlap. That is the best that you are going to do.

Good luck. I'm sure that once the conversations happen things will be better understood and compromises can be worked out.

~NM

 

[JinxedSydney]

OP, lots of good advice here! I second the ADR's and either hanging out together or splitting up, depending on the day and how each family feels. On both trips, we've had 3 families that included everything from 2 year olds, 20 somethings to my parents. And throw in my hubby, recovering from foot surgery. *Caveat, I'm a planner so I made all the ADR's and FP's ahead of time since we did single parks every day*

Some days, we spent the morning together. Sometimes, my parents blew us off to go shopping or just take in the sights. Sometimes, they skipped ADR's and FP's. Why? Well, there's: tiredness, not interested, wanted a nap, wasn't hungry, would rather swim, etc.

We did stay at the same resort and were down the hall from one another. This allowed them to call over and have us or the kids go fill their mugs if they just couldn't do it.

Honestly? I loved and cherished those vacations most of all! Pictures of my dad swimming with my girls or my mom squinting like Popeye while playing Buzz Lightyear next to me...doing the same thing! All of my careful planning ruined by them cancelling or changing their minds? Never! I'd rather they go at their own pace. Dad sits out the roller coasters and the girls fight over sitting next to Nana. We all win.

Now to talk them into the next trip...

 

[Nancyg56]

OP, lots of good advice here! I second the ADR's and either hanging out together or splitting up, depending on the day and how each family feels. On both trips, we've had 3 families that included everything from 2 year olds, 20 somethings to my parents. And throw in my hubby, recovering from foot surgery. *Caveat, I'm a planner so I made all the ADR's and FP's ahead of time since we did single parks every day*

Some days, we spent the morning together. Sometimes, my parents blew us off to go shopping or just take in the sights. Sometimes, they skipped ADR's and FP's. Why? Well, there's: tiredness, not interested, wanted a nap, wasn't hungry, would rather swim, etc.

We did stay at the same resort and were down the hall from one another. This allowed them to call over and have us or the kids go fill their mugs if they just couldn't do it.

Honestly? I loved and cherished those vacations most of all! Pictures of my dad swimming with my girls or my mom squinting like Popeye while playing Buzz Lightyear next to me...doing the same thing! All of my careful planning ruined by them cancelling or changing their minds? Never! I'd rather they go at their own pace. Dad sits out the roller coasters and the girls fight over sitting next to Nana. We all win.

Now to talk them into the next trip...

We like multi generational trips. To be honest, my husband has more stamina than the rest of us, but we find that as long as we plan meals together, we are good. Most of the time we all end up touring together and leaving the park at the same time, but it's nice to know that we all respect that if we want to split up we can.

 

[BuckeyeBama]

We have done this a few times with my in-laws. They are awesome, but stubborn. Both have serious mobility issues, but their pride will not allow even the possibility of a discussion about wheelchairs or scooters. When we go with them we do very little, but we have a great time. It is just a different type of WDW vacation. We go often enough that we do not mind a trip like this every few years and look forward to the next. But the first trip with them was a trial until my wife and I decided to just relax and do only as much as they could easily handle.

 

[thepicklebee]

I feel like the only way I could vacation with my parents for two weeks back to back is if I thought I was near death and needed to try and get myself into heaven with some saintly deeds.

 

[ncc1701]

I feel like the only way I could vacation with my parents for two weeks back to back is if I thought I was near death and needed to try and get myself into heaven with some saintly deeds.

Sorry but not funny and doesn't help the OP

 

[thepicklebee]

Sorry but not funny and doesn't help the OP

Frankly, I think offering a little perspective that vacationing with ANYONE for two straight weeks is something that warrants considering.

Especially if they are mobility challenged and resistant to assistance. AND that is coupled with then having spent a week on a cruise before the trip. That is adding another huge stressor. Disney is exhausting for active people who go for a week. I can't imagine tacking a week on for people who are elderly and not able to walk great distances.

But thanks for your lessons there, coach.

 

[Accident]

I think it's a good point in family dynamics for how to plan this trip. I know when I just sit around the resort, I run into some older folks who are there with family that just needed a day off from their hectic schedule. Taking that into account now to find out how much time they want to not spend with each other will really help out this discussion. Wheelchairs aren't going to help 2 folks who are in the resort alone and can't push each other for example. How much time they need away. If there is somethign you can give just them...

Lots of things go into a trip and being together all the time I think is one that is greatly overlooked.

 

[BroganMc]

I've organized multiple family trips with people of all different desires, abilities and ages. I, myself, have limited mobility and always use a power wheelchair. (I even have a special rampvan to get around and NOT be beholden to Disney transportation.)

Several years ago, I rented a scooter for my dad (who was in his early 70's at the time) and told him I got it because I wanted him to be able to keep up with me. (My chair can go 4.5mph, a fast walk, so covers a lot of ground quickly.) Now he always uses one and owns one for himself. He says the best thing about it is he always has a seat. At stage shows, parades, fireworks displays, etc.

About 6 years ago we wanted to bring my dad's brother and his wife down for a trip. My uncle loved Disney. My aunt thought it was like Six Flags. Both had never been to WDW. Neither wanted to use a wheelchair or scooter. But my cousin came along and we crafted a plan. We rented one scooter which my cousin insisted would be there so they always had a seat available if they wished.

Since the entire trip was about showing them Disney, I crafted our entire daily plan around them. (I also gave my dad and I several days afterward alone so we could do what we wanted.) I started them off at the resorts and something they'd enjoy: high tea at the Grand Floridian. Just walking from Poly to the Grand Floridian showed them just how big WDW is.

My aunt never did use the scooter (except as a seat). She enjoyed her time in Disney, but it's not her ideal vacation. My uncle, however, fell in love. We've brought him back 3 more times. He and my cousin both get scooters now. Our last trip, they were off on their own alot leaving my dad and I to explore.

My other trips involve the rest of my family: 16 people from 8 to 80. You try coordinating teenagers, adults, a grumpy grandpa and little kids at the same time! It is not for the faint of heart.

You're best bet is to pick 1-3 big events per day and share those together. Could be a FP+ experience, a meal or a show (fireworks or parade). If something comes together on the fly, so be it.

Last week my dad and I were staying at Disney as part of our 3 week trip to Orlando. We wanted to take it slow and concentrate on Magic Kingdom since we were staying at Bay Lake. My SIL decided to come down with her family. So we got her a room at Bay Lake and planned a couple meetups. The kids only had 2 park days and wanted to do commando park touring. We wished them well. Then we'd get together for fireworks shows, or group pics, or meals. We never did go on a single ride with them. But we all had fun.

In other trips with the entire family, we'd have mini-groups form and reform around an activity. We'd get together for a big meal and fireworks.

I'll never understand the aversion to wheels. I know I did it myself for years because I worried other folks would pity me. Truth is when it's hard to walk around, having wheels gives you freedom. To each his own, I guess.

As far as the onsite/offsite thing, we do both almost every trip. Truth is Disney provides you great resort transportation. Makes it easy to go out in different groups. But you get relatively small accommodations. Offsite timeshares are much roomier and nicer. If your idea of doing Disney is to commando tour and be out from sunup to sundown, then stay onsite. If you can do Disney in segments and want more family time together, offsite will give you the space to spare.

Either way, adding people to your usual touring party will alter your style. Accept it.

 

[elaine amj]

As far as the onsite/offsite thing, we do both almost every trip. Truth is Disney provides you great resort transportation. Makes it easy to go out in different groups. But you get relatively small accommodations. Offsite timeshares are much roomier and nicer. If your idea of doing Disney is to commando tour and be out from sunup to sundown, then stay onsite. If you can do Disney in segments and want more family time together, offsite will give you the space to spare.

Either way, adding people to your usual touring party will alter your style. Accept it.

LOVED your perspective!! I have been watching this thread because I am planning a trip that will likely include grandparents.

Been having the onsite/offsite debate especially since we can only afford a value room. That said, onsite sounds easier since folks can split up and go back and forth between room and parks at their leisure without having to wait for 1-2 cars. Plus, we can get free dining, which I think makes paying for food less complicated.

We do want to move slow with plenty of breaks - especially since we will have a 3.5yr old in our group. The space of an offsite would be so nice!

 

[BroganMc]

LOVED your perspective!! I have been watching this thread because I am planning a trip that will likely include grandparents.

Been having the onsite/offsite debate especially since we can only afford a value room. That said, onsite sounds easier since folks can split up and go back and forth between room and parks at their leisure without having to wait for 1-2 cars. Plus, we can get free dining, which I think makes paying for food less complicated.

We do want to move slow with plenty of breaks - especially since we will have a 3.5yr old in our group. The space of an offsite would be so nice!

Issue with the value rooms is they really aren't built for hanging out with family time. They are massive structures themselves as well. Just getting up and going for coffee in the morning is an exercise, especially for those with a silver-hair status.

I know ASMo has family suites that offer a bit more room and a small kitchenette type (minifridge/coffeemaker/microwave). You can do connecting rooms which also gives the illusion of more space. But really the Values are built for park commandos on a mission.

Have you considered doing something like DVC point rentals? Get into one of the DVC timeshares and pay Moderate prices. You won't get the free dining option from Disney but you can at least have a much nicer room. Nothing beats having your own kitchen and laundry, especially with a 3.5 yr old in the party.

I'm biased. We visited Disney once and stayed in All Star Sports. Did 5 days of park commando as a family of 9 adults + one infant. When we returned to orlando we stayed in a very nice offsite timeshare. Now I own DVC and Marriott timeshares. I just won't go back to staying in an ordinary hotel room. I need my kitchen and laundry. I gave up staying in a DVC studio too. It's a 1bedroom unit or else.

Perhaps you and your parents could split the cost? Pick one of the resorts that offers the best mix of resort appeal and park convenience. Boardwalk and Beach Club offer the best proximity to EPCOT and DHS. Just a short ferry ride to each (or a short sprint walk for you commandos). Bay Lake, Poly and Grand Floridian each have DVCs with an easy monorail or ferry ride to MK. Bay Lake has some of the best views of MK, especially at night. Animal Kingdom Villas is great for making your resort the place to meet. You wake up to a safari of animals at your door. Saratoga and Old Key West are more removed from the action. Buses to the parks but ferries or walkways to Disney Springs. We love Saratoga for it's nice scenic walkways around mini-lakes.

An offsite resort does make splitting up harder. You have to provide your own transportation which always seems to create arguments over who's ready to go. I guess you could rent two vehicles: one for you and one for the grandparents. Then I'd probably pick things like meals and sitdown activities to meet up for. Like meet at Crystal Palace for lunch with Pooh then spend a couple hours doing FP+ together. Group your FP+s in the same general area so you reduce the crisscrossing. Like Peter Pan, followed by Mickey's Philharmagic, followed by Winnie the Pooh. Throw in a ride on Small World and the Carousel as time allows. If you make good time, you might even be able to do Little Mermaid together. If the grandparents are up to it, swap out one of those FP+ for Seven Dwarfs. You get a ride photo and video on Memory Maker. Very cool keepsake since it captures both stills of you on the ride together and a slow mo video of your reactions going down two of the hills. (I cannot ride it myself, but I've arranged for my family to go on it together multiple times. Including my 80-something dad and his 80-something brother.)

If you do an offsite resort, make sure you leave time to just enjoy the resort a day. Maybe post cruise. Half breakfast in the room together. Hang at the pool together. Have dinner together. Do all your cruise laundry.

I'm gearing up to bring my family down for another long weekend trip but to Universal and SeaWorld. I want them to stay offsite with us, which means they'll have to rent cars. We have some experience doing that when we vacation in Williamsburg, VA together. I get multiple apartments so everyone has a bed and we meet up daily. We'll go to Busch gardens together at least one day, then we go in different directions. Sometimes we hang out at the pool together. We do a family cookout one night. And we gather just about every night to play card games in my apt. Last summer it was 11 people sitting around the dining room table playing cards. The others would drop in and out bringing treats or just to see what was happening. My nieces and nephews LOVE these family trips.

Bottomline, it sounds like your parents want to share some of your love for Disney. They're probably being a bit unrealistic about their stamina for Disney, but don't let yourself pass up the opportunity to share the memory together. YOU ill be going to Disney many times over the years. No amount of rides on Splash Mountain will come close to being as special as seeing your child having fun with the grandparents while in the shadow of Cindy's Castle.

 

[TeresaWen]

Funny story - during one part of our with friends, my husband needed to sit. The middle child asked where he was. I pointed over to where he was sitting. She responded "maybe I should go sit with him under that nice shady tree". Poor thing was so hot & tired!