I agree that "all" shouldn't be lumped into one stereotype of a certain generation. I think that both generations - parents and young folks today - have something to bring to the table. The key is probably finding a middle ground somehow. For me, that came with teaching my children as they were growing up some of the values that I held dear, that I learned from my own parents who were Depression era children, my mother coming from an extremely underpriveledged background, and those included understanding and appreciating what we have and how hard we worked for it. But I also agree that some of our children are, or can become, a little too used to having all the things that we provide them and aren't always completely thinking in terms of starting out humbly and working to earn things for themselves. But there's certainly a whole lot of variation here within the younger generations. I see it not only with my own kids but with many young people that I know and work with myself. We've had so many conversations, I've been able to learn a lot from them (in terms of college planning, especially) and develop an appreciation for what they're doing and how hard they're working, as well, in their own way.
DD21 and I discussed this thread last night and I even read her some of the posts. I told her that I could relate a lot to
@disykat 's post and some others, as her Dad and I also built everything we have today from scratch with little to no monetary support from anyone else, and we loved it, as well, even if it was scary sometimes! When we first bought our house, for instance, I remember thinking one day how sad I'd be if we lost it because I loved it so much! The thought of all the bills in front of us at that time was daunting, but we just plugged away at it and here we are many years down the road and we're still plugging away, lol. We never wanted our kids to take advantage of "being comfortable" so we saw that they volunteered their time, held jobs during HS and now college, saved money, opened accounts and learned to manage them, kept their grades up, followed rules, etc. We were laughing last night about how it was important to us that they drive cars that were safe, but beaters in their own way - though yes, they were fortunate to have even those. DD has her grandmother's car and DS has my old one which has been in the shop more than it's on the road, I think. (And God love those guys in the shop, they've promised us they'll keep it going to get him through school, which reminds me, I need to bring them some cookies after the last miracle they performed for us a couple of weeks ago.)
Mine are juniors now - my son is contemplating a military career after graduation (looking at further career training and long term benefits) and my daughter is seven classes away from becoming a nurse. Both are working to figure out what comes next after college by setting themselves up for success now, with jobs and connections and ongoing planning and such. We live in a HCOL area where median home costs are around $500,000, and that's not a good thought to people their age who'd like to stay around here. Mine know DH and I are moving on to beefing up our retirement planning when they're done with school so they're on their own in terms of making it work for themselves. (Although we're happy to provide living arrangements for a while if they want or need them, which we expect they will while they get situated.) Which is why our planning for college that began way back in 8th grade was to keep costs as low as possible and try not to take on any debt, or keep that as low as possible, etc. Our hope is that that will put them in a good place to continue to make good choices financially so they can pay for basics that are so expensive today and eventually try to own their own home or some other things they want to do. Honestly, starting out here with a ton of debt is really difficult for people, as I've seen with so many. People at the beginning of this thread mentioned paying debt off quickly. I know plenty of people who are well into their 30s wth homes of their own and young children who are still under mountains of student debt. Their advice to me was always to not make the same mistake. It sounds like for some here, having debt has been ok as it forced them to make certain choices or allowed them to go to a school they really wanted to go to or whatever, and that's great. (DH and I both had college debt ourselves, but here I agree with
@Colleen27 that times are
much different now then they were 20 and 30 years ago.) Choosing to not have debt by things like commuting or working or going to less expensive schools is ok, too. It's all about what works for the individual in both the short
and the long term. I also think it takes a certain level of maturity to say, yes, I am commuting, or working to pay for school, whatever, amidst so much backlash from people who still want us to all believe that you
must have the "college experience"!
