Wedding Gift for Niece?

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Why don't you just ask your family in that area (not the bride and groom) if you're really that worried about not giving enough or giving too much?

Appropriate amount varies even from family to family. Some families are all about the $$$ and others don't place as much importance on it.

Otherwise I wouldn't fixate on it and just give what you want. Venue has no bearing on the amount we give and honestly neither does travel but it would have when we were younger if we were using up a decent chunk of money to get there.

 

[kymom99]

My nephew got married locally last month. I gave them $150 for my husband, son and me. His sister got married a couple hours away 2 years ago. I wish I could remember what I gave her, but I couldn’t. I figured $50 each was a nice gift and my son was unable to attend, so they didn’t shell out anything for him.

 

[mrs. magoo]

My nephew is getting married in September. He is the first to get married. We plan on gifting him 300 - 350. My adult children who are full time employed we also be gifting him an amount somewhere between 30 and 75.

 

[Jeannie]

Northern NJ here. We've had 8 nieces and nephews get married in the past 10 years, most recently 6 mos ago! We started at $400, but now give $500. When I got married 41 years ago, $50 per couple was pretty standard and $100 was very generous. My aunts and uncles gave us $250.

 

[Karin1984]

Instead of asking here... ask the family who will receive it and/or other family members attending.

They know what they find acceptable. But it all depends on what the family relationship is worth AND what you can spare.

 

[antmaril]

I would probably give $500 to my niece/nephew getting married. When I married 49 years ago, each of my uncles gave us $100.

 

[grapefruitjellybean]

In my culture we do $200 per person, if it’s a close family member we do $1000+ per couple. The amount doesn’t change if you’re travelling and no one gets married in their home. Weddings are huge 3 day celebrations. We don’t do showers or bachelorettes or engagement parties.
I think $300 for your family is reasonable.

I’m also curious how much people paid for their weddings.

 

[_19disnA]

Questions about 'how much' for a wedding gift never go well here. It depends on factors such as how well you know the bride/groom, your financial situation and various other factors.

 

[HopperFan]

First, I'm from NJ having lived 1/3 of my life there, both parents born and raised there. I have lived 2/3 of my life in the south, where things are different. DD got married end of 2020 (yeah that was a year) and while we spent a good bit of money, I have no idea what they got for gifts because my hosting a wedding with special people invited had nothing to do with gifts.

My question, an honest question .... many on here usually state NJ/NY etc area dictates $500 gifts. For many people that is a huge amount of money, especially if there are travel expenses. So if that money would make a difference to my family paying essentials, what do we do? Do we RSVP no since we can't cover our meals plus some, and just send the gift that we can afford?

I mean I would be very uncomfortable at any wedding if I felt I was not paying what the hosts expected. It truly is something that the last couple years of wedding threads on here has reinforced. So if I don't go then there is nothing to cover, and my gift is what I can gift. Everyone is happy.

I'm in MA, but I honestly don't remember exactly what we gave for my niece's wedding a few years ago...and I'm willing to bet neither does she.

Whatever you feel comfortable with is fine. I would assume you've been invited because they want family around to celebrate, and that they won't be keeping score.

That said, if you really aren't sure of your own feelings, this article shows average amounts by state:
https://www.dontwasteyourmoney.com/much-people-spend-wedding-gifts-state/
(It's from 2017, but I didn't see a newer one.)

So these numbers seem quite lower than what folks are posting BUT what is not clear ... are these numbers per person or per party invited? So is that $200 for just me or for me & my family?

 

[cedricandsophie]

We gave our niece and nephew $500 when they got married. And we flew the family to Hawaii for our nephews wedding. We give the children of our friends $200 to $250 for a gift.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

First, I'm from NJ having lived 1/3 of my life there, both parents born and raised there. I have lived 2/3 of my life in the south, where things are different. DD got married end of 2020 (yeah that was a year) and while we spent a good bit of money, I have no idea what they got for gifts because my hosting a wedding with special people invited had nothing to do with gifts.

My question, an honest question .... many on here usually state NJ/NY etc area dictates $500 gifts. For many people that is a huge amount of money, especially if there are travel expenses. So if that money would make a difference to my family paying essentials, what do we do? Do we RSVP no since we can't cover our meals plus some, and just send the gift that we can afford?

I mean I would be very uncomfortable at any wedding if I felt I was not paying what the hosts expected. It truly is something that the last couple years of wedding threads on here has reinforced. So if I don't go then there is nothing to cover, and my gift is what I can gift. Everyone is happy.



So these numbers seem quite lower than what folks are posting BUT what is not clear ... are these numbers per person or per party invited? So is that $200 for just me or for me & my family?

I’m also in NJ.

We were invited to a my family members step daughters wedding last year. It was in Center City Philadelphia so we’re talking big money. 100k wedding easily.

I’ve met this family member 3-4 times in the last 16 years so I really don’t know her. I also never met the husband to be.

We knew we would have to give a gift of at least $500 a couple to not be “looked down on.” We did not feel comfortable giving this amount. It was also black tie so add on the cost of all that and we decided to RSVP no. I had family members a bit upset we said no. My brother also declined.

So if I don’t want to or can’t afford what is deemed an “appropriate” gift or what is expected then I just don’t go.

 

[Darcy03231]

I'm in central NH and we gave our nieces $250 for my husband and I. However, we're local and didn't need to incur travel expenses.

In your case, if it were me, I wouldn't expect anything else as a gift. I think you're fine with $50.

 

[JustAnotherMinnie]

Thanks for all the input! We've decided to give $500. This is our first niece/nephew getting married, and it's also my first Connecticut wedding. I am from the South, and things are done so differently here.

 

[princesscinderella]

I live in South Florida and my kids get $50 sometimes for a birthday present at their parties from friends. In my opinion a wedding gift should be more than what you would give for a birthday present, typically $100-$150 per person invited as a guest to the wedding if you aren't close family and a more if you are.

 

[DisneyHardin]

ask the family who will receive it

I'm sorry, but I laughed when I read this. That would be the most awkward conversation ever "Hello Niece, how much money should we give you for your wedding?"

 

[Karin1984]

I'm sorry, but I laughed when I read this. That would be the most awkward conversation ever "Hello Niece, how much money should we give you for your wedding?"

There are brides/couples who have a very clear picture of what they want/need because they want the money to pay for the wedding or the honeymoon.

You can also ask the mother of the bride or the maid of honour, no doubt they know.

If you want to make sure you are not showing off or being looked down on, the only option is to ask. Why is this so different than asking what someone wants for a birthday?

Never assume, because then you make an [naughty word] of u and me

 

[PollyannaMom]

My question, an honest question .... many on here usually state NJ/NY etc area dictates $500 gifts. For many people that is a huge amount of money, especially if there are travel expenses. So if that money would make a difference to my family paying essentials, what do we do? Do we RSVP no since we can't cover our meals plus some, and just send the gift that we can afford?

I believe you invite someone to your wedding because you want to see them, not so they can "cover their plate". ("Throw the party you can afford" is a much saner rule, in my opinion.)

I think the people who invited you would rather you be able to come than be able to send a big gift.

So these numbers seem quite lower than what folks are posting BUT what is not clear ... are these numbers per person or per party invited? So is that $200 for just me or for me & my family?

I assumed it was for a couple attending. I did notice the numbers seem low compared to this thread, though. -

First, the article is a few years old. (I still included it, though, because I'm guessing that even thought the numbers have gone up, the ratios between states would be about the same, so the OP could adjust based on comparing their own state to the wedding location.)

Second, context - we are on a Disney trip planning board, after all. Those averages include people who do not have the kinds of budgets that allow for elaborate vacations. So the survey sample here is very likely skewed to the higher end of the responses there.

 

[luvnwdwgal]

I don’t think it matters where you live or who it’s for. We give what we can afford and if that’s only $50 then so be it. Especially if we have to travel and possibly spend the night someplace too.

 

[HopperFan]

I believe you invite someone to your wedding because you want to see them, not so they can "cover their plate". ("Throw the party you can afford" is a much saner rule, in my opinion.)

I think the people who invited you would rather you be able to come than be able to send a big gift.

Oh that is what I believe (as a host) and it was the case when we and then again when DD got married. I say it over and over > host what you can afford! Be honest with your guests as to what to expect from the event (BBQ & a barn, steak and a fancy venue, dry or beer & wine or full bar). Most off enjoy your day and have no focus on gifts or someone else paying for the event.

But going by what most on these boards say thread after thread (and other sites) - it is expected that I cover my person cost to the hosts (plus some). Kinda takes the "special" out of the day and I'd rather just not go .. I would rather send them something off their registry and a card with a nice note of congrats & wonderful well wishes.

Weddings have become very complicated for everyone.

 

[mjkacmom]

Oh that is what I believe (as a host) and it was the case when we and then again when DD got married. I say it over and over > host what you can afford! Be honest with your guests as to what to expect from the event (BBQ & a barn, steak and a fancy venue, dry or beer & wine or full bar). Most off enjoy your day and have no focus on gifts or someone else paying for the event.

But going by what most on these boards say thread after thread (and other sites) - it is expected that I cover my person cost to the hosts (plus some). Kinda takes the "special" out of the day and I'd rather just not go .. I would rather send them something off their registry and a card with a nice note of congrats & wonderful well wishes.

Weddings have become very complicated for everyone.

It’s not complicated, at all, different regions/cultures have different expectations/traditions. I live in the northeast, have for 50+ years, I’m extremely comfortable writing a check for a wedding, shower, birthday, graduation, communion, bar mitzvah held here. If I was attending an event outside of my area, I’d ask for advice on gifts, what to wear, etc., just like the OP did. No big deal.