Wearing Red to a Funeral (inspired by the "strictly black" thread)

[EltonJohn]

Absolutely not. It is unChrist-like to show disrespect towards someone living or dead, and I would fear for the heart and soul of someone who would do such as thing at a funeral where loved ones are grieving for the deceased. That is pretty low in my book. If a person has such a big problem with the deceased then just don't go to the funeral. The dead, not to mention their surviving loved ones, should always be respected. Let bygones be bygones.

Why is it disrespectful to wear red at a funeral???

 

[chrissie123]

If i despised somebody that much, i just would NOT attend their funeral,especially wearing red , i would feel like i would be showing myself up,(which i can do unintentionally anyway...If i showed myself up on purpose i would be mortified,)....

 

[pearlieq]

I've thought of it a million times, but would never actually do it. It's just one of those little thoughts that make you feel better while you grin and bear it!

 

[Tinkbell]

I wore a red sweater to a wake once only because I was coming straight from work and did not have time to change. Honestly, when I got dressed in the morning, I wasn't thinking of the "no red" rule for funerals. I realized that I would be showing up with red while driving to the funeral parlor. It was either go in red or not go at all. I figured the family would be happy that I made the effort to visit them. If they were offended, they never told me.


My grandma passed away last month and I could not tell you what anyone wore to her wake and funeral. I was just so happy to see that people cared enough about my family to show up for us.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

Can you just smile a lot?
Go and be real kind to everybody there.

 

[Sparx]

I have only been to funerals of people that I cared about...and quite a few I might add. I wouldn't go to their funeral unless it was important to me, and their family.

 

[Mandabella]

Why is it disrespectful to wear red at a funeral???

I'm wondering that too. I have never heard that.

I look good in red and wear a lot of it.

 

[my3princesses]

I'm wondering that too. I have never heard that.

I look good in red and wear a lot of it.

I agree that red is not a sign of disrespect. Maybe people equate red with the devil and hell or something. As I said earlier, working in the business, I have seen red and all kinds of colours and never have thought anything of disrespect. When we see inappropriate types of clothing (i.e. showing more than you should) we see that as being strange, but still it's the fact that you show up and sincerely grieve for the family and the death that counts.

 

[goofygirl]

I have never heard of wearing red at a funeral either. The only people I saw ever wear red at a funeral were the cardinals at the pope's funeral. (And of course that did not mean disrespect!)

If I hated the person that much, I would not go to the funeral. Instead, at the time of the mass/burial, I'd be out celebrating somewhere with drinks and the whole nine yards and singing "ding dong the witch is dead!"

 

[poohandwendy]

And I don't think a healthy dose of hatred requires counseling. As a matter of fact, it was a counselor that got me to admit I DID hate him...and that it was okay that I did. At first I was so racked with guilt over actually having that depth of dislike for him that I was making myself sick. A counselor is the one who helped me realize that I didn't have to like everyone...I could go ahead and hate him and still be okay with myself.

Sometimes the best revenge is total indifference.

 

[sjh801]

I'm wondering that too. I have never heard that.

I look good in red and wear a lot of it.

I totally agree. I wore red to my grandmother's funeral because I looked absolutely awful in the black things I had and red is my favorite color, too. My grandma was always the kind of person who would honestly tell me how I looked-and she was right! She had great taste! I always knew that she would be honest with me if I looked good or bad. I am sure that she agreed with my choice.

Now, going to a funeral for someone you dislike...that in itself is in poor taste. Funerals are to celebrate the life of the deceased and your relationship with that person.

 

[CookieGVB]

Why is it disrespectful to wear red at a funeral???

Didn't anybody see Moonstruck? Where she was fighting with her soon-to-be-ex fiance and said that because he called off the engagement and wanted the ring back, she'd come to his funeral wearing a red dress?

Must be an "old-fashioned" insult.

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, I prefer not to waste my time on people who don't deserve my time. I think holding anger and bitterness hurts only the person who holds it. The person one is angry and bitter against either doesn't know or doesn't care.

In general, our behavior usually says more about ourselves than it does about other people, so I usually try to be very careful with what my behavior "says" about me.

As far as wearing red, I don't think there is a "rule" against it. I think red has always had a reputation as a "sleazy" color...all the "fast" women that you used to see in the 1940's movies had a red dress on...so that perhaps people consider it disrespectful.

I personally wouldn't care what people wore to my funeral. They could come in their pajamas, if it brought my family comfort in my passing.

 

[dmslush]

LOL, we buried my granny in red. That was her favorite color! Most of us wore something red to the funeral to show our respect for her.

However, I would never do anything at a funeral to show my contempt for the dead. I am not hurting the dead, I am hurting their friends and family and showing my lack of class.

As for his mother not mourning becuase the man has recently beaten her up. I am a domestic violence advocate, and the statement just isn't true. She still loves her son, she just may not like what he has done. Look at your own children, now think about what it would take for you to no longer love them, what would it take for you to not mourn them?

 

[Maleficent13]

Just FYI, his mom is 70+, actually closer to 80 now, and he's 35-40. So I doubt she'll be at his funeral. I'm thinking hers will be first.

 

[caitycaity]

The only people you may be disrespecting are his grieving relatives. Not sure that would be something I would feel comfortable doing, no matter how much I disliked the deceased.

ita. i can't imagine taking the time out of my schedule to go to someone i disliked's funeral in the first place.

 

[Parkhopper]

I remember when my Grandfather died, my Great-Grandmother (about 92 at the time) had only one pair of shoes that she could stand in for any length of time. You got it...they were RED. She had a FIT and said that she was NOT going to wear red shoes to a funeral (She said that people would think that she was a ...streetwalker - LOL - can you imagine a 92 year old streetwalker?!?)

Suzi