Son w/Asperger's started middle school- Update Page 6

[Luv Bunnies]

1) Get an outside evaluation from a psychologist with recommendations. this can help you have an "unbiased opinion". Some doctors will even come to a school meeting with you to advocate for your child and have more influence than just what you, the child's parent (!) can tell them.

2) Asperger's kids have probelms with what is called "executive control" which is organizing, getting started, and controlling emotions at times. This is not your child's fault and these skills will just take longer to learn. So you will have to do the coaching.

3) Get a watch that beeps at transition times, put up reminder charts, or clip tags to backpack with a "picture" of homework. Anything visual would help.

Thanks for the feedback and ideas. We do have a psychologist that we see every 2 weeks. He's helping my son deal with some of his issues and he's helping us navigate the special ed system at school. He's given us a lot of advice in dealing with our son's outbursts and emotions. Things are going very well at home. But the new teachers aren't sure how to handle him. We have arranged for our psych to talk to the school psych so she can help educate the teachers.

I know exactly what you mean by "executive control." My son has problems with all of those issues. We've been working on these issues for several years and they have improved as he's gotten older. The psychologist has been helpful in giving us tips.

PCparamedics - Regarding your question - We are having some issues with the aide. My son seems to like her. I've met her and she's a very nice person. But, she doesn't have a command of the work that my son is required to do. She helped him in class with 2 pages of math the other day and it was done completely wrong. I spent 30 minutes correcting it with him and trying to get him to forget what she showed him and do it the right way. Math is his hardest subject so he needs someone to show him how to do it right the first time. It wasn't just the concepts, there were simple computation errors in her writing. I'm also getting his homework log back each day and it's filled with spelling and grammar errors made by the aide. To me, this is unacceptable. I have sent messages to the principal and program specialist explaining what is going on and I asked if they could tell me her qualifications. Under No Child Left Behind, aides must have at least an AA degree to be hired. They also have to take written and oral tests to ensure they have basic skills. I just want to know if this person has met the minimum qualifications. I haven't received a response from either person.

The potentially good news is that the special ed. director has asked me to come and meet with him tomorrow. My husband will be coming with me and we will lay out all of the problems we have encountered so far. If we are not satisfied with his response, we will hire an advocate and call an IEP meeting. I spoke with an advocate today who has lots of experience with our district. She is ready and willing for us to hire her if we need to. I want to give the director a chance to sort it out first. I'll keep you posted!

 

[Schmeck]

PCparamedics - Regarding your question - We are having some issues with the aide. My son seems to like her. I've met her and she's a very nice person. But, she doesn't have a command of the work that my son is required to do. She helped him in class with 2 pages of math the other day and it was done completely wrong. I spent 30 minutes correcting it with him and trying to get him to forget what she showed him and do it the right way. Math is his hardest subject so he needs someone to show him how to do it right the first time. It wasn't just the concepts, there were simple computation errors in her writing. I'm also getting his homework log back each day and it's filled with spelling and grammar errors made by the aide. To me, this is unacceptable. I have sent messages to the principal and program specialist explaining what is going on and I asked if they could tell me her qualifications. Under No Child Left Behind, aides must have at least an AA degree to be hired. They also have to take written and oral tests to ensure they have basic skills. I just want to know if this person has met the minimum qualifications. I haven't received a response from either person.

Don't be surprised if she does have a liberal arts associates degree - that's just 1-2 years at a community college here (depending on how many courses you take each semester, and if you take summer classes) but still can't do math.

In our school district we have two levels of aides - tutors and assistants. Assistants pretty much just chaperone students in class, keeping them on task, show them how to keep organized, etc. Tutors actually are supposed to assist in the academics, need to have a 4 year college degree in a relevant subject, and get paid a bit more than the assistants (but not much!) It sounds like your son was assigned an assistant, and she's acting like a tutor, but isn't qualified for that. You could ask about that as well?

 

[pcparamedics01]

PCparamedics - Regarding your question - We are having some issues with the aide. My son seems to like her. I've met her and she's a very nice person. But, she doesn't have a command of the work that my son is required to do. She helped him in class with 2 pages of math the other day and it was done completely wrong. I spent 30 minutes correcting it with him and trying to get him to forget what she showed him and do it the right way. Math is his hardest subject so he needs someone to show him how to do it right the first time. It wasn't just the concepts, there were simple computation errors in her writing. I'm also getting his homework log back each day and it's filled with spelling and grammar errors made by the aide. To me, this is unacceptable. I have sent messages to the principal and program specialist explaining what is going on and I asked if they could tell me her qualifications. Under No Child Left Behind, aides must have at least an AA degree to be hired. They also have to take written and oral tests to ensure they have basic skills. I just want to know if this person has met the minimum qualifications. I haven't received a response from either person.

The potentially good news is that the special ed. director has asked me to come and meet with him tomorrow. My husband will be coming with me and we will lay out all of the problems we have encountered so far. If we are not satisfied with his response, we will hire an advocate and call an IEP meeting. I spoke with an advocate today who has lots of experience with our district. She is ready and willing for us to hire her if we need to. I want to give the director a chance to sort it out first. I'll keep you posted!

Okay Lubunnies, First off the aide should not be helping him with his classwork period. No you should not hire a tutor like the OP suggested. I have even done that in the past for us it was 60.00 an hour and I was paying for a tutor because the Teacher said she could not get his class work done, so I had homework and classwork. This teacher was aweful. She had my son and another child in her class. I removed him from the classroom midstream. I did not have to pay for a tutor anymore and he got his work done with the new teacher. Terrible!! Pls Let me know how your meeting went!!!

 

[pcparamedics01]

oops! The other person was just posting about tutors and degrees! Sorry I was multitasking!! Not about you getting a tutor sorry Schmeck!!! Omit my comment!!!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Okay Lubunnies, First off the aide should not be helping him with his classwork period.

I totally agree that the aide should not be doing his work for him. There are times when he gets frustrated or unfocused and needs to be redirected. That's when the aide might need to explain an assignment or prompt him through the steps (like in math). The problem is that the aide doesn't have any experience with special ed kids. When he pushes her, she doesn't know how to push back. She needs to know the techniques to get him working on his own. I think she'd rather not deal with it so she just grabs his notebook and he tells her what to write. The problem is, this woman has terrible spelling and grammer. It's ridiculous that the school district would even hire someone like that to work in a classroom. She even roams around when my son is doing okay and helps other kids. I informed the teacher that the aide's spelling and grammer aren't great. I felt she needed to know since it's her classroom.

The meeting with the special ed director didn't accomplish much. He did admit that my son's IEP is out of compliance. When my husband and I asked what he was planning to do to fix that, he said, "We'll have another IEP meeting, rewrite the IEP to reflect what we're doing now and everyone will sign it." He has no intention to honor what was written last month. He's the one who made all the decisions about the services. His staff didn't carry out the services and now he just wants to cover it all up. Our son was supposed to get a resource aide to help him in the classroom for 30 days. Resource aides are fully-qualified and experienced so we accepted it. The resource teacher decided he didn't want to give up his aide so he told her not to go to the classroom. We got this other aide after more than 3 weeks of school and she's not qualified under No Child Left Behind. If they want to rewrite the IEP and remove the resource aide, they will have to add a stipulation that his aide must be fully qualified. Otherwise, we won't sign it and the IEP will remain out of compliance. That's where we are now. In a few weeks, we are touring a private school in our area that has a dedicated Asperger's program. I have read wonderful reviews of the school and had a good talk with the head teacher on the phone today. We haven't made any decisions to pull our son from his current school, but we want to have options if it comes to that.

Thanks to everyone who has provided ideas and support! It's a long, long road.....

 

[pcparamedics01]

Thanks to everyone who has provided ideas and support! It's a long, long road.....

Us too!!! Good Luck to you and thanks for some great ideas.

 

[JESW]

How are things going???

 

[Luv Bunnies]

How are things going???

Thanks for asking and sorry I didn't reply earlier. We actually got out of town this weekend for some fun!

The good news is that the unqualified aide is no longer working with my son. I guess I complained enough to convince them that her misspellings and poor grammar weren't helping him at all. She was reassigned to a special ed classroom with much younger kids (K/1st grade). Another aide is now working with our son and she's much more on the ball. It's still a temporary arrangement since the IEP says he would have the aide on a 30-day trial basis. After the next IEP, we're supposed to decide if it's helping.

But, here's the part you guys aren't going to believe. The resource teacher brought me a "notice of IEP" meeting on Thursday. He wants my husband and me to propose a date and time for an IEP meeting that works for us. I told him I didn't think our meeting was due just yet since the aide wasn't even brought in until several weeks into the school year and we're supposed to have the meeting after our son has 30 days with the aide. So get this: He said at the two previous IEP meetings, my husband and I didn't sign the forms in the right place. We signed the part saying we had attended the meeting, but not the second part saying we agree with the proposed services. So, that means we don't have a valid IEP in place and we haven't had one since the old one expired in June. This is totally the fault of the resource teacher who was responsible for the forms. He showed us where to sign and that's what we did. Prior to this, we have only attended these meeting once a year. We've never had a problem with the services offered and we sign where they tell us to sign. The director is now really ticked off at this teacher and is auditing all of his IEPs to make sure they're signed.

So, technically, the district is out of compliance. The director wants us to simply sign the forms in the correct place. We aren't agreeing to do that since the district didn't honor the IEP as it's currently written. We are going to make sure it reads exactly as it should before we sign it. We're debating whether to bring an advocate or a lawyer to the next meeting. Stay tuned!

 

[Schmeck]

The last properly signed IEP is the valid one, even if it has expired. At least that's how it works in MA - not sure if it's that way in other states?

If you bring a lawyer or advocate, expect to see a lawyer for the school system at the following IEP meeting. Not saying that you shouldn't bring someone, just that school systems will see that as a threat, and step-up their side as well.

Also, never sign an IEP at the meeting - take it home and read it over. Make notes on it, compare it to notes you took at the meeting that created that particular IEP.

 

[pcparamedics01]

My school loves when I bring my advocate they invite her to come! They love it because the meeting goes faster and smoother because she knows the laws and what we need to do to ensure services. I had her for 5 years now in districts were we had to fight and now we don't! I have never seen a lawyer when I brought an advocate. But if I brought the attorney she works for, based on his reputation, I am sure they would have at least 3 school district attorney's present.

 

[Schmeck]

My school loves when I bring my advocate they invite her to come! They love it because the meeting goes faster and smoother because she knows the laws and what we need to do to ensure services. I had her for 5 years now in districts were we had to fight and now we don't! I have never seen a lawyer when I brought an advocate. But if I brought the attorney she works for, based on his reputation, I am sure they would have at least 3 school district attorney's present.

Good point - although in our school district, we've had advocates that have extended meetings by over 2 hours... I'd go with an advocate first, but make sure the advocate knows exactly what you are looking for.

 

[pcparamedics01]

Good point - although in our school district, we've had advocates that have extended meetings by over 2 hours... I'd go with an advocate first, but make sure the advocate knows exactly what you are looking for.

Our meetings are always two hours or more, because of many times we go over ESY as well. Meeting even go longer without an advocate. Mainly because parents go back and forth and do not have someone to say it is okay to move forward. That is what I see in my school district. Every district is different... it depend on the child needs. They need to go through placement etc.etc.

 

[bababear_50]

No, missypie, I see your point. I guess it depends on the types of accomodations they are talking about. The big ones I am thinking of are the reduction of the assignment, modified tests or quizzes (not just restructured, but multiple choice instead of essay, for example), and extra time.

Do you know if students are allowed accomodations in college for Asperger's?

In Canada students are allowed the acomodations that are clearly stated on their IEP....my son has some and he is allowed those stated. This is for College and University. His school also has a Disabilities office which assists the students in all college life.

Hugs Mel

 

[bababear_50]

Luv Bunnies JMHO

I am going to suggest you go into any meeting with an open mind and Advocate for your son yourself,,this presents a much less Hostile environment for your self and son. Take some time to re-read this thread --think what it really is that you feel is important for your son to succeed at school. Can the school in your opinion do this for your son? What can you as a parent do to help the school accomplish this ?? What things are you doing at home that you can share with the school that may assist them in dealing with your son.??What can your son offer in a way of suggestions as to what he sees as being his greatest need of assistance at school?? I just feel the TEAM effort has to be sorted out here --and I'm sure your son would feel the benefit of that. I'm a mom of a special needs young adult --kinda been there done that --but I'm also a Educational Resource Facilitator,,(special needs ).I know your heart is breaking because you want everything to be right for your son --and it will be --but please think all of this through --just as you would like your son to do someday.

P.S --I'm terrified of Spelling and Grammar mistakes but I think my 25 years of service with special needs kids is worthy of a few (sp) mistakes.

Hugs Mel

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I feel for you in this very difficult situation. Age 12 is when my mother pulled my brother out of school (he also has AS) because she realized there was no light at the end of that particular tunnel. Yes, they were required by law to accommodate his "disabilities"...but they weren't going to do it, no matter how much she hounded them or how much legal action was taken. They simply didn't get it and didn't care. After an entire year battling the school district every way she knew how (and my mother is a VERY determined and resourceful woman), she finally said, ENOUGH! Not coincidentally, the one teacher that really tried to help with the whole thing quit her job in disgust at the end of that school year. Homeschooling worked out great for my family, not only because it was a great fit for his keen intellect/social deficits/physical handicaps (he has CP as well and his fine motor skills aren't so good, plus he has serious defects in his feet and legs and walking around campus was a real challenge)...but because they just got sick of fighting for his education and decided to actually give him one! I hope you have a better resolution and I wish you the best of luck.
P.S. My mother noted a definite disinterest in my brother's situation because there was no learning disability involved...just physical and social/emotional challenges. They seemed to think that if you were at or above grade level, you should be mainstreamed in every sense of the word and have no additional assistance. Apparently the only thing that mattered was his intellectual ability and not the fact that he could not organize his time or physically complete the tasks required of him in a timely fashion. In my brother's case, he REALLY needed a scribe because he is a visual learner (won't remember anything he hears so tape recording was out) but was unable to write quickly due to his physical handicaps. They could have done something as simple as assigning a good student to copy his/her notes from the class but they wouldn't allow that...it was just crazy! They also thought AS was just something he'd have to deal with...and that he'd probably be unpopular with fellow students but they weren't going to address it as it wasn't an academic issue.

 

[Schmeck]

They could have done something as simple as assigning a good student to copy his/her notes from the class but they wouldn't allow that...it was just crazy!

I'm glad they wouldn't assign a student to do this - it is never another student's responsibility to assist in someone else's learning. The school cannot legally put that burden on another student!

The teacher could be told to photocopy his/her class notes, and have all assignments written in a notebook, etc. My school district has been experimenting with having homework assignments available online and by calling the 'homework hotline' as well.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My school district has been experimenting with having homework assignments available online and by calling the 'homework hotline' as well.

Our middle school teachers are supposed to have homework hotlines too. Sometimes, they are actually updated. The other night, my son didn't write down his math assignment correctly (his aide wasn't at school that day). So I called the homework hotline. The teacher came on a said, "Here is the homework for September 14." Uh, it's October 2! At the IEP before school started, they told me about all the "safety nets" that would be in place and why my son wouldn't need an aide all day. One was the homework hotline that is only sporadically updated. Another was Gradeweb where each teacher would have a page with homework posted, in detail, every night. So far, the pages are blank. Another is an end-of-the-day Advisory Period where each student's planners would be checked for accuracy. On the first day of school, the Advisory teacher said that's not the purpose of the class - it's for leadership skills, community building, etc. I just feel like I was misled!

I've been trying to advocate for my son but it doesn't seem to be working. He just got his 5th aide today since 9/11. The aide is only assigned for the first 4 periods of the day for 30 days. They keep giving him these "floaters" who quickly move on to other things. The first one stayed for one day. The second one couldn't spell. The next two were fine but got reassigned. I don't know anything about the one who came today. Meanwhile, my son's grades are a mixed bag. He hasn't been doing well on tests or quizzes. We have to figure out if asking for a well-trained, qualified, stable aide would help the situation. This revolving door of helpers for him can't be a good thing.

We're touring a private school for Asperger's kids in a couple of weeks. The school district doesn't know we have this appointment. We think it's prudent to know what other options are out there. We're not ready to pull him, but it may come to that. This school keeps the kids up with their academics while teaching them the skills they need to be successful in the classroom. Most of these skills don't come naturally to these kids and no one has ever sat down to teach them. It sounds like a good program so we're going to meet with the head teacher and observe some classes. Apparently, the average time they keep kids is about 1 year before sending them back to their regular schools, so it's not too long-term. If we decide we want to move him, we would want the district to pay the tuition, but that opens up a new can of worms. If it comes down to it, we could cover it for a year or even two if need be so we may forego the fight and do it ourselves. It would be worth it to get him into a place where he could learn to succeed. The IEP is scheduled for October 25. Thanks for all the advice and stay tuned....

 

[Schmeck]

That private school sounds like a dream come true - even if it costs $$$, if it helps your son out I think the school district would benefit from sending him there, and of course he would benefit as well. Wish we had that kind of option here.

Best of luck on the 25th! I hope you have a positive, useful meeting!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

That private school sounds like a dream come true - even if it costs $$$, if it helps your son out I think the school district would benefit from sending him there, and of course he would benefit as well. Wish we had that kind of option here.

Best of luck on the 25th! I hope you have a positive, useful meeting!

Yes, I agree. I'm hoping the private school looks as good as it sounds. I talked to the head teacher for about 1/2 an hour on the phone a few weeks ago. I described my son and the difficulties he's having in school. The teacher said he fits the typical student profile for the school. Right now, they have 24 kids with Asperger's in their program from 3rd grade to 11th grade. They have them divided into 4 groups of 6 so each kid is with others in his age range. My son is 12 and would be with kids who are 11, 12 and 13. They teach classroom behavior and social skills along with academics. They have a full-time psychotherapist who rotates between classrooms. They also have 2 aides who are on the spectrum and have overcome a lot of their difficulties. They can relate to the kids in a different way - kind of like, been there, done that.

We'll see how this all works out. I'm not ready to do anything drastic yet, but it's always good to have options!

 

[mdsouth]

I'm going to get on a slippery slope- I'm a college student (graduate). I have never gone through "disability support services" but I have gone to my professors and asked for extended deadlines due to "personal issues" (I never state why) and 90% of the time they comply.

But in college, there are only certain accomodations that they can allow for- extended time on exams or deadlines, books on tape, note takers... those are most common. But I DOUBT they would give you a multiple choice test instead of an essay exam in college and I would be seriously upset if someone did get that "modification" because a multiple choice test is 100% different than an essay exam- for a mc exam, it's about recognition, not completely about recall. You can guess and still get a question right... and a lot of things in college can't be tested through mc- like "what is your opinion on... back it up with facts" They want you to be critical thinkers and be able to state a well thought out answer.

I don't know what the lawsuit name is but look for lawsuit regarding the deaf girl wanting an interpreter in a class when she was getting B's in a class without it- the school said no way and the state supreme court backed up the school. And part of me agrees with that- it's about NEED not WANT.

I have been a faculty member teaching at a four-year college for ten years. The college has a Disabilities Concerns office for students that may need assistance to be successful in college. In the case of the my specific college, the Disabilities Concerns office works with the student and verifies information that the student shares with the office.

The office then issues a notice to the faculty, and/or gives the student an ID card that the students shares with the faculty. The information states what accommodations are given to the student.

Most of these accommodations include: extended time on exams; alternative placement for taking exams (I send the exam to the Disabilities office and the student takes it there in order to eliminate distractions); a note-taker is assigned for the student (It is sometimes a student already in the course and at other times has been someone else that comes to the class to help take notes for the student); enlarged copies of overheads, Powerpoints, etc (Visual learners); allowance for specialized equipment for those students needing it (audiotape recorders, laptops, Braille systems, etc.).


I do not modify the exams. If it is an essay exam, than the student takes an essay exam. However, I have found myself modifing assignments at times for students in my courses for various reasons (long length of documented absence due to health issues, athletic schedules, performing arts schedules, etc.). These modifications were assignments that I felt were equal in what they asked the student to do. (recalling information versus application of skills). I also had a standard policy that any make-up exam given for deaths, illness, etc. that was documented would be in the form of an alternate exam. My make-up exams are not the same as the exam that the rest of the students take. This is to make it fair to all students taking the exam. This eliminates the possibility that one student in the class will share information that was on the exam with the student that is making up the exam.

I think many college professors are more than willing to listen to the individual needs of students and take them into consideration.

I suggest that when you are researching college choices, you check into the accommodation services that are available to you.

At the college level, it is up to the student to become his or her own advocate. Your role in your child's education will be limited. For example, you, the parent, will not have legal access to your child's grades.

I hope my views offer some insight for you in this matter.