Shocked at kid's behaviour...

[Mkrop]

Yeah thats why your first post was judgemental. Nothing to do with the way you judged someone without really knowing that much about them.

Like I said we will have to agree to disagree.

I responded to what was posted which is how a dicussion board works. She wondered WHY she was getting dirty looks, I presented a reason why. I also said that if I was there and saw she was doing her best to handle the situation I would be totally sympathetic. The fact that she was getting dirty looks indicates that maybe she wasnt. Maybe she is so used to her son going with the flow (as stated by posts AFTER the original) that when her child (who was only two, her days of tantrums and meltdowns could just beginning, and no I dont wish that on anyone) that she WAS NOT prepared to deal with said meltdown.

To me as a parent, you need to be prepared to deal with all of that on any given day.

 

[Mkrop]

I disagree with this one. My children have both never had any problem sleeping in their strollers in Florida. As I said I have things to ease the heat a little and usually try to stay in the shade or inside where there is air con. They wake up happy and refreshed and not cranky. Perhaps because they are easy going and not in a rigid routine they don't generally get cranky. If they are tired they nap. All children cry now and again. How you deal with that various from child to child. If I see a child crying is WDW or anywhere else for that matter I don't see it as disturbing my day. I am having too much fun being with my family enjoying our time there.

Crying and meltdowns are two different things...one is not a big deal in a place like WDW the latter should be dealt with no matter where you are.

Like I said I have one of each, my go with the flow child, can also get overtired, and it is actually worse bc I usually dont see if coming, doesnt mean I dont react and get control of the situation, you will see me actively working to resolve it. That is all I ask of a parent!

Now when younger DS came along we had to adjust bc he very much needed and craved routine, we tried our usual go with the flow method and found it didnt work. We adjusted.

If you as a parent have something that usually works that is great do what is best for your family dynamic. But if one day it doesnt, no matter what the reason, you as a parent need to make the necessary adjustments so as not to annoy those around you, to me that is common courtesy.


ETA there was a thread awhile ago about a child coughing during a Nemo show bc she was having an asthma attack, I equate this scenario being discussed with the coughing scenario, neither one can the child help per se, but we as a parent need to find the solution that helps our child but also does not disturb the community around us.

 

[kermit116]

It is all the special snowflakes whose self esteem will be forever harmed if they are ever told NO.

 

[Tinkerbellie16]

OP-

It's a tough situation because of the line we've drawn to NOT talk to other people's kids. But in a situation like you experienced, whether it was an adult or child making excessive noise or blocking the water jets, there is nothing wrong with asking that person to please stop and let them know why. I've found that when an adult that is not the child's parent asks them to stop certain behavior, they listen quite well.

I actually agree with many folks on this thread and the supposedly opposing viewpoints. Yes, kids will be kids and yes, parents need to be responsible but no parent can watch their child 100% of the time and yes, there are 'sassy' people out there, but if we don't ask them to change their behavior, then do we have a right to complain about it?

I have certainly had 'loud' people in the resort hallways (or in the next room) but I know they are just excited about being at Disney and it doesn't detract from my good time. And I have definitely experienced kids showing inappropriate behavior and I say something (Could you please move from the hot tub jets? It is influencing the water level. Thank you!)

With a few, kind words, the situation may have been resolved and maybe these sassy, horrible kids would turn out to be just needing some guidance

 

[livndisney]

While the child's bad behavior is shocking (and yes climbing a light pole is bad behavior and disturbing other guests at night when it is normal to expect people to be sleeping is also bad behavior), but what I find in really bad form is the parents who find nothing wrong with it or worse, those who try and offer a weak excuse to justify their childs behavior. Kids can be kids without behaving in a dangerous fashion and without disturbing others.

Seriously, it is "news" that allowing your child to run up and down the hallway in the middle of the night is considered unacceptable behavior?

What ever happened to teaching your child respect for others? A child who is taught respect, does not run around disturbing others, because they have been taught to think of someone other than themselves.

And before the "perfect parent " comments will start flowing, I openly admit I am not a perfect parent(not even close!), nor do I have a perfect child. But my child is being taught she is not the center of the universe. She knows if I say it, I mean it. Tears don't change my mind. No means no.

And this is a child with "issues". But my job as a parent is (to the extent possible) try and make sure her issues don't become some one elses issues. I know her limits and I have to plan accordingly. If it is not reasonable to expect a child to not melt down in a park, plan accordingly. A covered stroller with a battery fan is only slightly cooler than the surface of the sun during most of the year in Florida. If you know your child needs a cool place to nap, find one. Sitting in an air conditioned theater next to a screaming child is not enjoyable, for anyone. There ARE other options that won't annoy everyone around you.

 

[ScotsMinnie]

Thing is - a crying child might be annoying to one person but not another.
There is a difference between something annoying you and a child's bad behaviour which is what the OP is about.

I think in general there seems to be a lack of respect for others not only by children but by many parents. Is it because people pay so much to go there that they feel they should be allowed to behave as they choose?

I teach my children that you should treat others the way you would like to be treated. If my children behave in a way which I feel is unacceptable then they will be punished for it. Home or on holiday. Perhaps as a result of this I don't have many problems with them at all. (not angels by any means)

 

[ScotsMinnie]

A covered stroller with a battery fan is only slightly cooler than the surface of the sun during most of the year in Florida.

Really?

 

[livndisney]

Really?

Really, but hey what do I know? It is not like I "live in Disney" and visit the parks often.

 

[livndisney]

Thing is - a crying child might be annoying to one person but not another.
There is a difference between something annoying you and a child's bad behaviour which is what the OP is about.

I think in general there seems to be a lack of respect for others not only by children but by many parents. Is it because people pay so much to go there that they feel they should be allowed to behave as they choose?

I teach my children that you should treat others the way you would like to be treated. If my children behave in a way which I feel is unacceptable then they will be punished for it. Home or on holiday. Perhaps as a result of this I don't have many problems with them at all. (not angels by any means)

Sorry no, a crying child is most places is annoying. But a child crying is not always due to a childs bad behavior, it is a parents job to deal with the issue.

And once again I will say, I think a lot of the problem is "parents" who think nothing is wrong with the behaviors. So of course a parent is not going to correct the behavior, since THEY don't see anything wrong with it.

I will agree that there are parents who feel I paid XXX and I can do what I want and that does filter down to the child. On more than one occasion I have heard parents tell their children, we don't have to follow the rules, we are on vacation. These are the parents who shove my child out of the way, then look at me and say-it's his birthday, first visit or whatever. My favorite was the family who was staying at GF. The children tried to shove their way through the line to the front. When the children were stopped (by others who were standing in line), the parents yelled out "it's ok we are staying at the GF so we don't have to wait in line".

 

[Mkrop]

Thing is - a crying child might be annoying to one person but not another.
There is a difference between something annoying you and a child's bad behaviour which is what the OP is about.

I think in general there seems to be a lack of respect for others not only by children but by many parents. Is it because people pay so much to go there that they feel they should be allowed to behave as they choose?

I teach my children that you should treat others the way you would like to be treated. If my children behave in a way which I feel is unacceptable then they will be punished for it. Home or on holiday. Perhaps as a result of this I don't have many problems with them at all. (not angels by any means)

And since I dont know if crying will disturb those around me or if they will tune it out I try my darndest to make it stop or remove them from the area.


I am teaching my children to treat others the way I would want to be treated. A little crying no big deal, full blown meltdowns, would be dealt with. By dealing with my child, I am teaching them that is what you do. You respect the others around you. You dont live in a bubble, so be conscious of others in your words and action. I am teaching my older go with the flow child that sometimes we have to be patient and consider others, esp family who may need some more time to cope or might not be able to hold out as long as he can. I am teaching him there are others to consider!

My kids are not perfect but I deal with things as quickly as possible and I try to anticipate what I can, if not then we adjust.

And yes a stroller is going to be flippin hot regardless of a fan or other cooling device in the hot FL sun. I liked to see you crawl in there. Yes at times it may be cooler but if it has been sitting outside in the Fantasyland stroller lot at noon while we went on all the rides, there is no way in heck that the stroller is cool enough to nap in.

 

[livndisney]

Home or on holiday. Perhaps as a result of this I don't have many problems with them at all. (not angels by any means)

Had to smile at this, my Aunt once called my DD an "angel" and with a very serious face, my DD looked up at her and said "believe me I am no angel". My Aunt laughed so hard she fell off the step.

 

[mkstlowe]

Screaming teenagers running up and down the hall at 1am is a behavior issue. Vacation or no vacation this is unacceptable behavior from a child old enough to know. I fault the parents/chaperone in charge. I can't believe no on complained to the front desk.

Light pole climbing??? What about the safety of the child? I have a girl and a boy. My boy will attempt to do anything as he is very darning. Sometimes scary for a mother. I'll tell you he might try but not complete the climb! He would not be a happy camper the rest of the day!

This is full fault of the parents/guardian in charge.

I like to mention that I have a son who has many challenges with behavior issues. He seeks a specialist to help! I would not allow him to act this way in WDW let along any vacation spot!

 

[wdwdasiy]

I have read all these posts and I feel the same frustration about children who are “allowed” to misbehave and impact others around them. Children push boundaries as part of the growing and learning process but how we as parents respond to it makes the difference.

Ok, I may get in trouble for what I’m going to say, or I may be called a “know-it-all” but I truly don’t mean to come across that way. This is just my opinion. And I also must say that all of my comments on raising children or teaching children are not easy to always follow. I aspire to be a better parent and teacher everyday and I’m far from where I want to be…the key to all things we want to do is to keep trying. With all that said…here I go:

It seems to me that children need consistency in all areas of their lives. With consistency children learn to trust their parents and with that trust comes security and feeling loved and valued as the people they are. When parents follow through with consequences for misbehavior, the child learns that the parent means what they say. They not only learn to behave themselves better the next time but they learn that they can trust their parents. When a parent says they will come to the game on time and watch their child and they do it…the child learns that they are important to their parents, loved and they trust their parents’ word. If a parent tells a child their bedtime is 8pm and they make sure they go to bed at 8pm, the child learns that the parent means what they say, and they trust the parents’ word. If a child feels secure and trusting with their parents then the misbehaviors are fewer and sometimes are smaller in degree. The trust is also a respect. If I treat my children with love and respect by showing them I mean what I say in all areas, then I hope my children will grow into respectful, loving, trustworthy adults.

I think too many times we only focus on being consistent with dealing with misbehavior and we fall short in being consistent with our love, and teaching our children that they can trust us to mean what we say, and do what we say we will do. If we don’t follow through with what we say when children are misbehaving they learn that we don’t really mean it…then what happens when we say we love them? Will they trust us? Or will this be a time when they think we don't really mean it?

Thanks for letting me post.

 

[Jenny-Bell]

I have to ask....where were you staying?

We once stayed in All Star Movies and it just happened to be at the same time as the tour group of teenagers from Brazil. That was a little rough to deal with because they were extremely excited and out of that excitement they were running around very loud and wild, running over my kids and just a little out of control. I honestly, just move out of the way and try to remind myself to breathe and ignore the chaos. (Then we switched to Port Orleans the next day and never looked back).

As far as light poles and such, I do think there are certain behaviors that should be taken care of by the parents and some kids are crossing a line that I never knew existed because really...who thinks it's okay to let your kid climb a light pole?

Other things like kids that are cranky, whining, crying and such don't bother me at all. I actually feel bad for the kids.
I just think it's better to try to tune everyone else out a little and concentrate on your own kids or family. My kids are very well behaved, and I like to think we are not too strict, but certainly not too lax either. My oldest has Moderate/Severe Autism and while he is normally pretty simple and carefree, there was an incident last June at DTD that came totally out of the blue. He has been there before, several times and never had a problem, however this one day he saw something (still can't figure out what it was since he has limited language) and he was terrified to the point where he jumped out of his stroller and took off in the other direction. I had to drop my things and take off after him and just hold him until he calmed down. There was nothing else I could have done. There was no way of preventing the incident since he was fine every other time we went and there was no known 'trigger' to the incident and there was nothing else I could have done but hold him. He would have cried more and fought more had I tried to take him anywhere else (hotel, bathroom, anything). Once he calmed down, i was able to talk to him and he was fine. But I had plenty of bad looks because to the outside world he's a 6 year old crying and possibly "annoying" them. But there is more than what meets the eye in some circumstances, some kids do have other needs that are different from our own needs which makes them very hard to understand. When I see other kids doing something completely unacceptable (like running in front of buses), something that is dangerous to themselves or others, I do get mad at the parents, in part because I am just thinking..."WOW...you stupid stupid person...you are taking everything for granted! What I would give to have to only worry about the normal lessons we need to teach our children. To worry only about not jumping in front of buses, climbing on light poles and apologizing to others when we wrong them in some way. To not have to think...if my kid gets lost, he can't tell them anything more then 'my name is Christopher' and therefore have to place temporary tattoos someplace visible because if they cant see my number, he won't show them."

I understand the lady with the kid with cerebral palsy saying that she would love for her child to climb light poles and disturb hot tubs because it is a much easier thing to fix, control or worry about that your child's entire life and future.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

 

[PrincessMom4]

I love yalll... You make (reassure me) that I am very good parent....

On our last vacation I had one lady come up to us and tell me to not yell at my youngest son. First of all we both have loud voices (wish I had a soft, feminine voice, BUT I don't) and my youngest was misbehaving. We simply told him to sit up and not jump on--can't remember what he was doing. We did not pick him up or grab him. I am like mind you own business. If my child acts up I will (positively) discipline him/her. I believe in a firm voice and consistency. Just because I am on vacation does not mean the rules go down the toilet for a week. Now don't get me wrong we have tons and tons of fun.

Jenny-Bell, my DD had PDD-NOS, ADHD, and SPD and there are times when she just simply has a meltdown. NOW she is almost 12 , but has the mental capacity at times of a 3/4 year old. People STARE at her/us all the time.

 

[Mkrop]

I have to ask....where were you staying?

We once stayed in All Star Movies and it just happened to be at the same time as the tour group of teenagers from Brazil. That was a little rough to deal with because they were extremely excited and out of that excitement they were running around very loud and wild, running over my kids and just a little out of control. I honestly, just move out of the way and try to remind myself to breathe and ignore the chaos. (Then we switched to Port Orleans the next day and never looked back).

As far as light poles and such, I do think there are certain behaviors that should be taken care of by the parents and some kids are crossing a line that I never knew existed because really...who thinks it's okay to let your kid climb a light pole?

Other things like kids that are cranky, whining, crying and such don't bother me at all. I actually feel bad for the kids.
I just think it's better to try to tune everyone else out a little and concentrate on your own kids or family. My kids are very well behaved, and I like to think we are not too strict, but certainly not too lax either. My oldest has Moderate/Severe Autism and while he is normally pretty simple and carefree, there was an incident last June at DTD that came totally out of the blue. He has been there before, several times and never had a problem, however this one day he saw something (still can't figure out what it was since he has limited language) and he was terrified to the point where he jumped out of his stroller and took off in the other direction. I had to drop my things and take off after him and just hold him until he calmed down. There was nothing else I could have done. There was no way of preventing the incident since he was fine every other time we went and there was no known 'trigger' to the incident and there was nothing else I could have done but hold him. He would have cried more and fought more had I tried to take him anywhere else (hotel, bathroom, anything). Once he calmed down, i was able to talk to him and he was fine. But I had plenty of bad looks because to the outside world he's a 6 year old crying and possibly "annoying" them. But there is more than what meets the eye in some circumstances, some kids do have other needs that are different from our own needs which makes them very hard to understand. When I see other kids doing something completely unacceptable (like running in front of buses), something that is dangerous to themselves or others, I do get mad at the parents, in part because I am just thinking..."WOW...you stupid stupid person...you are taking everything for granted! What I would give to have to only worry about the normal lessons we need to teach our children. To worry only about not jumping in front of buses, climbing on light poles and apologizing to others when we wrong them in some way. To not have to think...if my kid gets lost, he can't tell them anything more then 'my name is Christopher' and therefore have to place temporary tattoos someplace visible because if they cant see my number, he won't show them."

I understand the lady with the kid with cerebral palsy saying that she would love for her child to climb light poles and disturb hot tubs because it is a much easier thing to fix, control or worry about that your child's entire life and future.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

In your description you were being the best parent you could be, you went after him, and did your best to calm and sooth him, plus a bigger child may be harder to move.

I guess maybe I am not coming across clear, if I see a parent actively trying to calm or discipline a child, whatever the case maybe, I applaud that parent. If that parent is doing nothing, and just letting said child cry or meltdown or misbehave, then yes you(general you) are in the wrong.

 

[wdwdasiy]

if I see a parent actively trying to calm or discipline a child, whatever the case maybe, I applaud that parent. If that parent is doing nothing, and just letting said child cry or meltdown or misbehave, then yes you(general you) are in the wrong.

Well said

 

[ScotsMinnie]

And yes a stroller is going to be flippin hot regardless of a fan or other cooling device in the hot FL sun. I liked to see you crawl in there. Yes at times it may be cooler but if it has been sitting outside in the Fantasyland stroller lot at noon while we went on all the rides, there is no way in heck that the stroller is cool enough to nap in.

We will as you say have to disagree on this one. My children must be very abnormal then to have settled down and slept with no problems whatsoever. So must all the other children I see sleeping in strollers at WDW.

What does not suit your child will not necessarily be a problem for others.

 

[brookmey]

In your description you were being the best parent you could be, you went after him, and did your best to calm and sooth him, plus a bigger child may be harder to move.

I guess maybe I am not coming across clear, if I see a parent actively trying to calm or discipline a child, whatever the case maybe, I applaud that parent. If that parent is doing nothing, and just letting said child cry or meltdown or misbehave, then yes you(general you) are in the wrong.

Just out of curiosity, if a child is crying or having a meltdown in a stroller being pushed by the parents, how do you know they're not doing anything about it? What if they're on their way out of the park or to a quieter place? Or what if the child simply needs to let it out and the parents know that? My son (age 4) is a very emotional child and while he doesn't typcially have meltdowns, the few times he has I've actually made it worse by trying to console him or calm him down. I've learned that he just needs his space to get his frustration out and if I leave him alone, he comes out of it much faster. Last year when he was 3 he had a meltdown in his stroller at MK (I can't even remember why now, but he was mad!) and DH and I just ignored it continued on from Fantasyland to Tomorrowland. By the time we got to Tomorrowland Terrace, he was over it and fine. He just needed to get it out. DH and I did the right thing for our son in that situation. I'm not bothered by screaming, crying kids unless it's in a restaurant or a show (like Philarmagic). If it's walking around a park or DTD, I tune it out. After over 30 visits to WDW, I've come to take screaming, crying kids in strollers as par for the course.

 

[ScotsMinnie]

Sorry no, a crying child is most places is annoying. But a child crying is not always due to a childs bad behavior, it is a parents job to deal with the issue.
And once again I will say, I think a lot of the problem is "parents" who think nothing is wrong with the behaviors. So of course a parent is not going to correct the behavior, since THEY don't see anything wrong with it.

I think this is actually the problem. Parents are sometimes worse than the children so how are the kids to learn right from wrong.

I will agree that there are parents who feel I paid XXX and I can do what I want and that does filter down to the child. On more than one occasion I have heard parents tell their children, we don't have to follow the rules, we are on vacation. These are the parents who shove my child out of the way, then look at me and say-it's his birthday, first visit or whatever. My favorite was the family who was staying at GF. The children tried to shove their way through the line to the front. When the children were stopped (by others who were standing in line), the parents yelled out "it's ok we are staying at the GF so we don't have to wait in line".

For some reason people feel entitled to things. One trip at opening a cast member was handing out stickers to some children and there was a line. My DD joined the line and just as she was at the front a lady pushed past her and held out her hand not even looking at the cast member. he put a sticker in her hand, she glanced at it then looked away and wiggled her fingers to ask for more! He gave her another one and she walked off never even looking at him never mind saying thank you I was horrified. My DD said he please and thankyous and then said wasn't that lady very rude. People think they are entitled to extras like that and don't see them as little bonuses that someone is kind enough to give out. I wonder of her children had seen her "asking" so politely for stickers.