Sharing death notices on facebook??

[Sabrefan]

Is this a new thing or something? My DH's grandmother passed away Sunday, today my mother posted her death notice from the newspaper on my aunts facebook page, on her wall! I was really taken back by this. Is this normal? Am I just being sensitive? My aunt knew DHs grandmother before DH and I even existed and I had called her yesterday to let her know that she had passed. My mom knows fb better than I do so I dont believe for one minute she meant to send a private message. Should I ask her to take it down? I dont know how my DH will feel about seeing his grandmothers death notice plastered on someones fb page. Maybe I'm just over reacting here? I dont know.

 

[ckay87]

It's in the newspaper (I assume), why not among friends on Facebook? I use FB as a communication tool. This is information that should be communicated.

If I die...by all means, let people know. I can't see how it would matter, but maybe I'm not sensitive enough.

 

[Sabrefan]

Yeah I guess it kind of is no different, I just thought in a private message would have been in better taste?

PS now that you mention it, there is a SHARE option for facebook on the actual death notice from the newspapers website.

 

[ckay87]

Yeah I guess it kind of is no different, I just thought in a private message would have been in better taste?

PS now that you mention it, there is a SHARE option for facebook on the actual death notice from the newspapers website.

I think death notices are nice little writeups about a person's life. Most likely the last public recognition that person gets. They contain accomplishments and other stuff that the deceased is proud of. They aren't a gory account of their death but a little celebration of their life and actually, IMO, a nice thing to do for a person. So sorry for your family's loss.

 

[KristaTX]

First, I am sorry for the loss of your grandmother-in-law .

Facebook is an excellent vehicle for speading the word about the passing of someone who other friends on Facebook may have known or been familiar with. Or posting about it can be to let other people know that a mutual friend is going through something sad such as a death in the family, which is not really a big secret/private/embarrassing thing. The death of a parent/grandparent falls into that "news" category to me. But announcing that someone died of something that could be considered very private (e.g. suicide, HIV) would be inappropriate, though. Then it has turned into gossip.

It would be a little odd if your mother didn't know your husband's grandmother (which I can't tell from your post). But without knowing her, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she was just trying to let other people know of the sad news since others may also have known her, or just posted it to let mutual friends/family members know that your husband was going through something sad.

 

[Kellydelly]

I think it's totally appropriate to post the obituary/notice on facebook. It does suck to find out that way, if you thought you were someone that deserved a phone call before the obituary goes "live."

 

[KristaTX]

I just posted, but I want to clarify that I don't think that announcing the death to people who held the grandmother near and dear to their hearts (close relatives) is a good way to initially tell them. That should be done in person or on the telephone.

 

[DopeyDame]

I definitely don't see anything wrong or weird about it at all (assuming it wasn't gory or mean, as someone above mentioned). I see obits linked on facebook occasionally, and actually think it's a wonderful use of the medium. When my uncle died all of his kids and neices linked to his obits and commented with nice memories of him. It was a wonderful way for us all to celebrate his life while we were scattered around the country.

What about the situation did you find insensitive?

 

[Sabrefan]

I definitely don't see anything wrong or weird about it at all (assuming it wasn't gory or mean, as someone above mentioned). I see obits linked on facebook occasionally, and actually think it's a wonderful use of the medium. When my uncle died all of his kids and neices linked to his obits and commented with nice memories of him. It was a wonderful way for us all to celebrate his life while we were scattered around the country.

What about the situation did you find insensitive?

I guess just that I wasn't expecting to see her death notice on my newsfeed when I signed on today, and kind of hurt when I saw it displayed like that, my husband hasn't seen it yet, and I dont know how he'd feel about it although he tends to be less sensitive than I am so he might not mind.

To a PP, my mom knew his grandmother from our girls birthday parties and stuff but not outside of that, where as my aunt knew them from her place of work - we actually didn't know there was a connection until they saw each other at my baby shower 11 years ago. Definitely a small world

 

[Janepod]

I think it's great. I have seen them for people I casually knew in high school and college and I've been grateful for the information. In one case, it turned out a friend from college (who I haven't seen in 20 years) was the cousin of a coworker. Interesting and a great use of FB.

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[shortbun]

Strange to share a death notice on Facebook. I agree that a private message or messages would have been better.
A woman I know was talking to God on Facebook the other day. I was so tempted to tell her that God does not have a Facebook page.

 

[sam_gordon]

Strange to share a death notice on Facebook. I agree that a private message or messages would have been better.
A woman I know was talking to God on Facebook the other day. I was so tempted to tell her that God does not have a Facebook page.

Maybe he does, but just doesn't accept "friend" requests.

 

[Buckalew11]

Totally different but I read about my 3rd grade teacher passing away on FB. It was nice to read about her life & I was glad to see the link.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[elaine amj]

I've seen many notices on FB. It's a lovely way to allow people to know of something you are dealing with and for people to pass on their condolences, etc. A friend's father just passed away - she actually notified us all on FB about an hour after it happened. People were able to gather round her virtually (and IRL).

What I find odd is obits in the paper. I just find it all a little weird telling 50,000 strangers about your loved ones' death. But, it's the way to do things and it's nice to be able to let folks you may not have had a chance to notify in person - distant family, out of touch friends and acquaintances....(isn't that what FB does as well?) I would suggest considering a post on FB rather like an announcement in the paer - if one is OK, why isn't the other?

 

[powellrj]

I have found out many deaths from facebook. They aren't people I am close to, but classmates and the parents of classmates and teachers. I think its a great way to let others know.

 

[tar heel]

Facebook is a great way to let friends know that someone close to you has died. I wrote my parents' obituaries, which were not just dates and survivors, and posted both on Facebook. They weren't from the Facebook generation, so it was my friends, not theirs, seeing them.

 

[pakaramom]

My brother passed away last week. I was a little shocked about how fast the news spread, but then people started posting pictures on his facebook page and telling such wonderful stories that I had never heard! I didn't plan on posting the obituary, but after some thought I posted it on his page plus mine, my sisters, brothers and brother-in-laws. We were still feeling a little raw and didn't want to call all our friends and his friends that would have wanted to come to the funeral or call on us after.

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[aprilgail2]

It's in the newspaper (I assume), why not among friends on Facebook? I use FB as a communication tool. This is information that should be communicated.

If I die...by all means, let people know. I can't see how it would matter, but maybe I'm not sensitive enough.

I think it's great. I have seen them for people I casually knew in high school and college and I've been grateful for the information. In one case, it turned out a friend from college (who I haven't seen in 20 years) was the cousin of a coworker. Interesting and a great use of FB.

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[KristaTX]

My brother passed away last week.

I'm sorry about your brother .

 

[Laura66]

My brother passed away last week. I was a little shocked about how fast the news spread, but then people started posting pictures on his facebook page and telling such wonderful stories that I had never heard! I didn't plan on posting the obituary, but after some thought I posted it on his page plus mine, my sisters, brothers and brother-in-laws. We were still feeling a little raw and didn't want to call all our friends and his friends that would have wanted to come to the funeral or call on us after.

I'm sorry for your loss.

My brother passed away last week too - so I know how you feel . He was one of the brightest Lights in my life.
I posted the news of his passing and the overwhelming support and condolences has been very comforting.