Need help writing an obituary. NEED HELP! Updated!! Do I need all those commas?? #14

[HelenePA]

My dad had a gf of 3 years who is insisting being included in his obituary how do I work her in?? My dad was widowed and was married to my mom for 27 years before she died in 2004 ... I already have her mentioned... but how do I word about him having a gf?? anyone have any ideas?? I have asked around with my family and friends but no one seems to have any idea's or what to say...

 

[Nancy]

beloved companion, cherished companion, cherished friend?

 

[mrsv98]

I have seen people listed as "special friend" or "companion of x years" at the end of the family list. So you could say "Preceded in death by "mom" of 27 years, survuved by HelenePA, sibling, sibling, brother, sister, and "GF" companion of three years."

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[HelenePA]

beloved companion, cherished companion, cherished friend?

Ooooh those are GOOD! Thank you!!

 

[CarolAnnC]

I have seen obits who mention "a close friend" or a "beloved friend" in them. Were they living together? Or perhaps engaged? I would speak to her quietly and with dignity. Remember, she is most likely grieving just as much as the family.

We never forget our mom or dad after they pass, but we have to remember the one left among the living must go on with life. Try to think of what your dad would want. Hugs to you and my deepest sympathies on your loss.

 

[lovemygoofy]

long time companion or just companion

or

Mr.X is preceded in death by his wife Mrs. X but is survived by daughter Jenny, son James, and longtime friend Jezzebelle

 

[HelenePA]

We are not using a funeral home so we just have been looking at other obits in the paper.. Here is what we have so far...

Charles "Charlie" 57, of (town) died suddenly late wed night, Born in M.C. Jan 28, He was the son of Charles and Helen (maiden) Last name both decesed. He was employed at (place) He was of the catholic faith. Surviving are a daughter Helene(town), a Son Rob (town), a Sister D (town) a brother R (town), a sister L (town) He is also survived by 3 grandchildren Abby, Allison, Aidan, Aunts, Uncles, Nieces and Nephews. He was preceded in death by Chirstine whom he was married to for 27 years, Arrangements at the convenience of the family...

He donated his body to science so there is no funeral, I'm trying to plan a dinner party for sometime in mid June right now but its hard because its a holiday weekend and NO place is open!!

Should I stick his gf in after the grandchildrens names??

Okay my son is unhappy if that isn't good someone give me ideas Thanks..

 

[Serena]

All good ideas.

and I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

We are not using a funeral home so we just have been looking at other obits in the paper.. Here is what we have so far...

Charles "Charlie" 57, of (town) died suddenly late wed night, Born in M.C. Jan 28, He was the son of Charles and Helen (maiden) Last name both decesed. He was employed at (place) He was of the catholic faith. Surviving are a daughter Helene(town), a Son Rob (town), a Sister D (town) a brother R (town), a sister L (town) He is also survived by 3 grandchildren Abby, Allison, Aidan, Aunts, Uncles, Nieces and Nephews. He was preceded in death by Chirstine whom he was married to for 27 years, Arrangements at the convenience of the family...

He donated his body to science so there is no funeral, I'm trying to plan a dinner party for sometime in mid June right now but its hard because its a holiday weekend and NO place is open!!

Should I stick his gf in after the grandchildrens names??

Okay my son is unhappy if that isn't good someone give me ideas Thanks..

I am sorry for your loss.

I would put her at the end of the list of daughter, son, sister, and brother, not after the grands, aunts, etc., especially if she was living with him or a part of his daily life.

 

[barkley]

the way i've seen obits done that i've found informative is when they list the surviving children with the child's name with their spouses names and the grandchildren that are of those parents so i can identify who has which kids.

it reads like this:
survived by son robert, dil denise and their children x,y,and z, son fred and dil nancy and their children z,y, and x, daughter stephanie(her married last name parenthicaly), sil george and their children y,z, and x, many beloved neices and nephews (only have to name those you feel are of special signifigance), and his __________________.


as to how to identify his girl friend-how did your dad refer to her when introducing her. did he say 'this is my girlfriend' or 'this is my friend'? if he just introduced her by name then i would refer to her as a companion. she should come after all other living and deceased family members.

one thing i would suggest is to choose wording you are comfortable with to indicate that no service will be taking place, that way people who read the obit but are'nt close enough to feel they can telephone will not be calling up funeral homes trying to find out where to send flowers. you can even indicate if your dad had a specific charity that 'the family requests that in lieu of flowers donations be made to x charity'. as for not having a formal funeral you can say 'a celebration of charlie's life will be held at a later date' (again it informs people who may have been inclined to attend a funeral that one is not being held).

 

[Disney Doll]

See suggestions in red below. If you like his girlfriend, why not ask her how she'd like to be refrred to???

We are not using a funeral home so we just have been looking at other obits in the paper.. Here is what we have so far...

Charles "Charlie" 57, of (town) died suddenly late wed night, Born in M.C. Jan 28, He was the son of Charles and Helen (maiden) Last name both deceased. He was also predeceased by his wife of 27 years Christine Maiden Name Last Name.He was employed at (place) He was of the catholic faith. Surviving are a daughter Helene(town), a Son Rob (town), a Sister D (town) a brother R (town), a sister L (town) He is also survived by 3 grandchildren Abby, Allison, Aidan, Aunts, Uncles, Nieces and Nephews and his devoted/cherished/beloved (you pick the adjective)companion Mary Smith.. A memorial will be planned at a later date.

He donated his body to science so there is no funeral, I'm trying to plan a dinner party for sometime in mid June right now but its hard because its a holiday weekend and NO place is open!!

Should I stick his gf in after the grandchildrens names??

Okay my son is unhappy if that isn't good someone give me ideas Thanks..

 

[DVCLiz]

We are not using a funeral home so we just have been looking at other obits in the paper.. Here is what we have so far...

Charles "Charlie" 57, of (town) died suddenly late wed night, Born in M.C. Jan 28, He was the son of Charles and Helen (maiden) Last name both decesed. He was employed at (place) He was of the catholic faith. Surviving are a daughter Helene(town), a Son Rob (town), a Sister D (town) a brother R (town), a sister L (town) He is also survived by 3 grandchildren Abby, Allison, Aidan, Aunts, Uncles, Nieces and Nephews. He was preceded in death by Chirstine whom he was married to for 27 years, Arrangements at the convenience of the family...

He donated his body to science so there is no funeral, I'm trying to plan a dinner party for sometime in mid June right now but its hard because its a holiday weekend and NO place is open!!

Should I stick his gf in after the grandchildrens names??

Okay my son is unhappy if that isn't good someone give me ideas Thanks..

I would say "He was preceded in death by Christine, to whom he was married...", not "whom he was married to".

Then I would say "...grandchildren Abby, Allison and Aidan, and his cherished friend (or whatever phrase you choose - they all sound equally nice and mean the same thing) GF." I would list blood relatives bedore the girlfriend.

I would leave out "aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews" if you are not going to bother to list their names individually.

 

[HelenePA]

Thank You all for helping me.. I would normally ask my family about this but I dont have any left. The other times we had to write one we had the funeral director do it for us... I know some people are probably like WOW she is asking people on a disney board to help write an obit.. but really I dont have anyone else to ask.. These are the times when I feel so alone. In the last 5 years I've lost 6-7 family members.... I'm sick of death... I really am...

 

[HelenePA]

Charles "Charlie" LN ,57, of WH,formerly of TR, died suddenly late Wednesday
night. Born in MC , Jan 28, 1951. Son of Charles and Helen (maiden) Last Name
both deceased. He was also predeceased in death by his wife of 27 years, Christine (maiden) Last name.
He was employed at IRM .He was of the catholic faith.
Surviving are a daughter Helene LN , town,a son Robert LN, town,
a sister DH , town, a brother RP, town,
a sister LD, Orgiwigsburg. He is also survived by 3 grandchildren Abby LN, Allison LN, Aidan Last Name,
and a cherished companion DC, Aunts, Uncles, Nieces and Nephews.
A memorial dinner party will be held in his honor June 21st 2pm at the TR Firehouse...

 

[suzannews]

Hugs to you Helene.

When my Mom passed in December, I had lots of family around but no one to ask either. I just looked in the paper and followed what others had written and changed what needed to be.

 

[froglady]

I've had to write two obituaries, so have a little experience.

Parents first, even if deceased. Son of John Edward Smith and Mary Jones Smith (deceased)

Predeceased by wife of 27 years, Linda James Smith. Survived by bother/sister (list full names) and children (put spouse's name in parentheses), Helene Smith Peters (Bill) and their children xxxxx, George Smith (Grace) Robert Smith (Jane) etc.

You don't have to list all of the grandchildren, my parents had 15, plus great grands, so only numbers were listed.
Then, as others have mentioned, list "also left to mourn is his cherished friend, Rose Willow." or something of that nature.

Neither of my parents had a viewing (they were both direct cremations, so only immediate family said good-bye prior to cremation) so I listed "A Private Funeral Service was held, and a Memorial Service will follow at a later date." I had already scheduled it, so I put the date and location in the obituary.

 

[froglady]

Charles "Charlie" LN ,57, of WH,formerly of TR, died suddenly late Wednesday
night. Born in MC , Jan 28, 1951. He was the son of Charles and Helen "maiden" Last Name
both deceased. He was also predeceased in death by his wife of 27 years, Christine "maiden" Last name.
He was employed at IRM .He was of the catholic faith.
Surviving are a daughter Helene LN ,(husband's name, if applies)town,a son Robert LN, (wife's name, if married) town,
a sister DH , town, a brother RP, town,
a sister LD, Orgiwigsburg. He is also survived by 3 grandchildren Abby LN, Allison LN, Aidan Last Name,
and a cherished companion DC, along with numerous Aunts, Uncles, Nieces and Nephews.

A memorial dinner party will be held in his honor June 21st 2pm at the TR Firehouse...

I added a couple of things that I think might help.

 

[HelenePA]

yeah I'm not married either is my brother... and yes all 3 (4) kids (mine!) are with the same person.. lets not get into that right now Trust me I yell about it all the time.

 

[froglady]

Sorry, didn't mean to pry! I just put my brothers long time live-ins (and mothers of their children) in parentheses next to their name, the same as the "wives" of the other sons.

I am also sorry for your loss. Your father was younger than I, and I know that my children would have difficulty dealing with it.

 

[HelenePA]

Sorry, didn't mean to pry! I just put my brothers long time live-ins (and mothers of their children) in parentheses next to their name, the same as the "wives" of the other sons.

I am also sorry for your loss. Your father was younger than I, and I know that my children would have difficulty dealing with it.

eh its pretty common knowledge that I'm not married... its not for lack of trying.. any time we plan a wedding I get pregnant or someone dies its an omen I tell you... My grandmother was supposed to go to disney with us last year and we were going to get married quickly down there... she died 2 months before we left.. my dad was going to go to disney with us.. again gonna try to get married quickly.. he dies... no one is invited to disney with us anymore!! Unless they have some kind of sick death wish