Is it okay to skip the graveside/repass?

[shinysparklybubbles]

My friend's gmom died (not too close to the friend any more but I loved her gmom) and the services are today. Viewing from 10-11 and then funeral then graveside followed by the repast. The graveside and repass are about 45 mins away and would be asking a lot of my babysitter to watch my son for that long. Is it okay to skip the graveside and repass?

 

[krcit]

Absolutely! I tend to think the burial is for family/close friends, imo.

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

I would think if you at least went to one, it is a show of respect on your part and no one should have anything to say. If you go to the viewing, explain that your baby sitter can't stay long. Showing up to something I feel is better than not showing up at all.

 

[Scurvy]

Yes, it's fine. I agree with a previous poster that I associate the graveside parts with being more for close family and friends. Not that there's anything wrong with other people also going to the graveside, but I don't think there's any expectation that everyone who goes to the funeral will go to that part as well. In my experience lots of people will only go to the visitation/viewing, many others will go to both the visitation and funeral, and not as many will go to both of those plus the graveside part.

 

[Nancyg56]

It is absolutely okay. People do not count how much you do but that you thought enough about them to do what you could. Honestly, your friend will appreciate that you cared enough to come to the wake but will probably not notice how long you stayed.

 

[Hannathy]

Absolutely! Going to the cemetery is usually only family and close friends. I couldn't count anymore the number of viewings I have attended but didn't go to the actual funeral or cemetery.

Most people I know just go to the viewing.

 

[Diegosmom]

repass? I have never heard this. Is this like the "party/gathering" afterwards? It so I have been to some where people brought there children too. When my uncle died I felt my 3 year old was too young to attend. So I had someone watch him during the funeral (no burial, he was being cremated) but then I picked up my son and brought him to the gathering after.

But I agree skipping the burial is totally fine.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I never go to the funeral unless I am immediate family. We just go to the visitation otherwise. I have no idea what a repass is though. Is that like the luncheon following the funeral services?

 

[Stitchfans]

I would think if you at least went to one, it is a show of respect on your part and no one should have anything to say. If you go to the viewing, explain that your baby sitter can't stay long. Showing up to something I feel is better than not showing up at all.

I agree. I have gone to many co worker's families wakes out of respect of my co worker. Never considered going to anything else. I only go to the funeral of those who are very close to me personally.

 

[sweetdana]

100% Agree with others, show up and show your support, and skip it.

 

[hambirg]

I agree. I think it is perfectly acceptable to just go to the viewing and memorial and have done so myself. I know when my Dad died, the church was packed for the memorial. He was a long time high school teacher and I was touched by how many of his former students and colleagues were there. But there was only about 1/4 of the people for the graveside service. . .just family and close friends that came from out of town.

I'm also of the opinion that these services are for the living. Personally, I'm someone who has a strong need to go to the viewing. I know many people avoid that and that's ok. The funeral part is the service most people attend because it is where the deceased is memorialized. Makes sense. And the graveside is usually just family and close friends. It's also the part I normally avoid if I can. I just personally don't care for that part. So, I think you do what works for you and what you are most comfortable with.

 

[antmaril]

It is perfectly acceptable to attend the funeral and skip the cemetery and luncheon following. In fact, I think it is quite common.

 

[C.Ann]

Yes - it's perfectly acceptable - and as someone else mentioned, quite common.. Nothing to worry about..

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

Repass is the technical term for "the after party"

 

[NotUrsula]

Um, in that case I think that the word you are really looking for is "repast".

 

[Aisling]

Um, in that case I think that the word you are really looking for is "repast".

LOL yeah I was confused for a moment. (That's ok, OP)


I, too, skip the burial and repast unless it's close friend or family.

 

[scrapquitler]

Absolutely! I tend to think the burial is for family/close friends, imo.

As long as you go to some part of it, you've paid your respects. I usually opt to go only to the viewing unless it is a family member. I always kind of feel like the burial is more for family.