How do you do haircuts for a reluctant kid?

[LavenderPeach]

You know, my daughter went through years and years of feeding therapy. I thought she'd always be a skinny thing. But....she's now actually a little chubby. She still cannot eat some things well (meat, crusty breads, etc.) but does very well now. Feeding therapy was a very fun thing for her. It was a game. She still calls the Easter Seals building Sue's house. Sue was her feeding therapist. Anyway, she still has a good relationship with food. She also was able to nurse, a rare thing for a micropreemie like her.

Oh, that's encouraging to hear about how well your DD is doing after feeding therapy! DS never nursed or really took a bottle because he was working too hard to breathe. They said it's like trying to drink through a straw while taking a breath every second. He was starting to like eating some foods but now he seems to just be tolerating it. The problem we're having now is that is stomach is really, really slow to digest so even after 4 hours he still sometimes has some food in his stomach. And if he's not hungry, then where's the motivation to eat? They just increased the amount of formula he gets so that's why it's harder for him to digest it all. He's not too scrawny but he definitely can use more calories so we're trying to find a balance between giving him as many calories as possible and not giving him so much food that he can't digest it in time for his next meal. It's very frustrating to say the least. In fact, I've been thinking over the weekend that I really need to talk to the therapist and GI nurse practicioner again about all this.

Do you mind if I ask where your DD got feeding therapy? We looked into going to an intensive program in Virginia but right now are going to out patient therapy at Children's Hospital Orange County (10 min from disneyland!).

 

[seashoreCM]

This will be challenging but for a "disabled" kid I suggest you do it this way if you do it at home.

1. Do not make the kid take off or put on any clothing articles. (But let him change clothes later if he feels itchy)

2. Do not vacuum up the clippings until your kid has moved away from the area on his own.

3. Do not use a clipper or scissors that you have not used recently on yourself to prove that it does not pull hair.

4. Practice bringing the scissors or clippers near him without cutting anything, to get him more accustomed to seeing and hearing those devices.

Family hints: http://www.cockam.com/family.htm

 

[SmallWorld71]

Let me preface this by saying that DS10 is not autistic. He is however, very shy (although this has gotten MUCH better!) Anyhow, when he was younger, social situations were very stressful to him to the point where he could work himself into a panic attack, state of meltdown etc...

Anyway, we were fortunate that when he was 2, we found a local barber who was good and VERY FAST. I explained the situation to him and only he (not any of the other barbers) would cut his hair. We also had to leave off the apron because that freaked him out. Anyway, this guy was so fast that DS didn't even have time to eat his lollipop before the barber was done. Although it was still scary for him, it was over so quickly! Even after we moved, I drove the 35 min. just to use this barber. Eventually, DS got over his anxieties.

If all else fails, you could always let it grow. DNephew10 is on the spectrum. His hair is down to his waist and he loves it!

Good luck!

 

[sharadoc]

We actually worked with DS's school occupational therapist on this. They incorporated getting a haircut into his IEP, and took him to the salon. Slowly taught him about the cape, the chair and the scissors. Sometimes we have to skip one of them - he has even stood rather than sit in the chair, but we are lucky we have a stylist who is willing to work with him.

We still occasionally have problems, but what we do is talk about it beforehand and incorporate a reward AFTER he is successful. Usually works like a charm.

Another autistic boy who gets his hair cut at the same place is apparently bribed with a milkshake. Keeps him focused on something else.

 

[Tissa]

My ds would scream when we tried to cut his hair like it hurt. So we would just do a little at a time while he slept. He is 11 now and lets my mom cut it with scissors as long as he gets a few Oreo cookies. Whatever works. He still screams when the Dr tries to do anything to him.

 

[brergnat]

Both my sons hate haircuts. I do them myself after ONE very failed experience at a "kids cuts" place with each of them. One son has Autism, the other has a severe speech/language delay.

I have three words for you: clippers, buzz cut.

Be grateful you have a boy. Buy a GOOD set of clippers (I have Oster brand ones, since I also do DH's haircuts weekly...he's a Marine). The good ones don't pull or snag, they are quiet, and they are FAST.

Use the 1/2" attachment comb.

Strip your child naked (much easier to do a fast cleanup, and a bath afterwards is critical to clean off the hair and avoid "itchies"). Put him in the tub with a favorite tub toy--no water obviously. Offer a reward for the END of the haircut. We use M&M's, but you can use something else non food related.

Turn on the clippers and just sweep over the hair, going against the growth of hair, all around. When you have to do the back of the neck and around the ears, switch first to the 1/4" comb, then to the "blending" comb. Voila. Perfect haircut. Gather up the hair with your hands, or a paper towel and throw it in the trash. Rinse the rest down the drain, and then give your child a good bath and shampoo. This whole process should take less than 10 min.

My older son used to cry the whole time. He has "graduated" to sort of just cringing when I get to his ears and neck area. He also doesn't like when he feels the hair fall on his body, so I am careful to brush it off him. He doesn't like stepping on it in the tub either, so I have to take a lot of breaks to sweep it up and throw it out. He is 5 and autistic.

My younger son basically throws a HUGE fit when I tell him it's haircut time. But, he gets into the tub, holds onto the handrail in there, and actually stands still and follows my directions now (turn this way, look here, etc.) He used to fight me, but I'd just put his hand down and say "no" and I'd keep going. The thing is, with the combs on, the clippers won't hurt them, so at first, it just requires some patience and the ability to tolerate a lot of crying, but it's do-able. I sing to him while I'm doing it, and tell him how handsome he looks, and he seems to calm down when I do that. He is three years old. When he's all done, he really enjoys watching me throw away ALL the hair ("bye bye hair") and he loves getting a bath in the middle of the day. That's the fun part for him! Then, he gets him M&M's.

Consistency is the key, as with everything else we do with our kids. We do haircuts about every 2 months. Yeah, they hate it, but it's necessary. I put it in the same category as going to the doctor. They don't like that either, but it has to be done! I will not let them go around looking like punks with unruly hair, just because "they don't like it". They are 3 and 5. I like boys to have clean cut hair. Period. Over time, my oldest has come to tolerate it, and he even ASKS me now for haircuts when his hair gets too long.

 

[LauraVV]

Oh, that's encouraging to hear about how well your DD is doing after feeding therapy! DS never nursed or really took a bottle because he was working too hard to breathe. .

My daughter was vented for nine weeks at brith so we get the feeding issues. Even so, with intensive therapy, she nursed. Medications can make a world of difference with the gastric motility.

 

[BeckyScott]

We also found a hairdresser who cuts really fast.

And we do a straight buzz cut, I believe it's a #3 guard. No cutesy stuff, just buzz, quick around the ears and don't mess much with the back. The shorter you take it, the longer you can go until the next cut.

We used to always have oldest DS go first, so youngest could watch. Youngest DS also has a *thing* about watering all the plants while we're there. That is his mission and he takes it very seriously. He takes off with our hairdresser's spritz bottle and goes around misting all the plants. She says it's the only time they get watered. But it keeps him happy.

He doesn't like the bib, so we just go without and take off his shirt when we're done and then stick him in the shower when we get home.

We try to schedule the appointments late in the day when the salon isn't busy so if he melts down at least it won't cause a scene. (this is a proper upscale salon with the prerequisite Little Old Lady client base, as opposed to a kid's salon) Most of the time she adds us in as last appointment and stays late. But we did really luck out. Our hairdresser does several special needs kids and DS isn't the "worst" of 'em she says, but she has the hang of getting it done quick and dealing with it when he don't want to sit still or use the bib or wants to leave glasses on or insists on eating McDonald's fries during the haircut, stuff like that. She just does it.

It might be helpful to find someone who not only works with kids anyway, but who you can explain that you know what they're up against and it's okay if they mess up. I think sometimes it's kinda freaky, you know, they're dealing all day with people who are real picky and they get worried you'll be mad if it doesn't turn out just perfect. I've found that speed is more important than perfection. Our hairdresser hasn't ever put a bald spot on one of my kids yet, but it's not for lack of trying on their part.

The only other option I can think of is to befriend someone enough that they'll make a house call.

 

[LavenderPeach]

Thanks everyone for all the new suggestions! I agree that fast seems like the best way to go.

My daughter was vented for nine weeks at brith so we get the feeding issues. Even so, with intensive therapy, she nursed. Medications can make a world of difference with the gastric motility.

Laura, what medications do you have experience with for the gastric motility? We haven't found anything that works. DS has tried Reglan several times in the past and it made him throw up plus I don't like the possible nuerological side effects it can have. We tried tiny doses of erythromycin which is supposed to help the stomach move and it didn't seem to do anything. Do you know of any other meds that can help? This motility issue is really getting in the way of his feeding therapy. We've had to decrease his food to make sure that he's hungry and therefore (sort of) motivated to eat but he really could use as many calories as he can get so it's a delicate balance.