Airline Travel, Especially When Special Needs Children May Be Involved

[KirstenB]

It's interesting, there are at least three threads on this incident on different DIS boards and they are all so different. I personally find the one on the Community Board to be rather disgusting - the physical attributes and personal habits of the family has no bearing on the issue. For the most part, this thread and the one on the discussion board have remained factual and directed at the issue.

A question for parents who travel with children on the spectrum - if your child is having a meltdown, what do you want others to do? Ignore you/your child? Try distraction (you know how with a baby you might start playing peek-a-boo)? I've always gone with "pretend I don't notice so as not to make it seem like a big deal", but maybe ignoring something obvious is upsetting to parents/children.

Speaking only for myself, a sincere "can I help in any way?" with a sympathetic expression would go a long way. Even if the parent doesn't need your help, it's nice to know you're not alone, and people don't think you're a bad parent. Distraction might work with some kids, but other kids would find the interaction with a stranger overwhelming.

 

[bavaria]

Here would be some advice from someone who flies weekly

• knowledge is power; learn as much as you can in advance by visiting the www.tsa.gov website and asking questions here
• educate your kids as much as you can on their level. There are great picture and story books about flying, as well as videos online. Even something as simple as the United one from the 1960's in which Bobby and Suzie take their first flight can show what to expect
• don't stress - if you stress, it shows and your kids will pick up on it

And this may surprise you - frequent travellers here seem to have a bad reputation, but I can assure you that nine times out of ten I won't notice you or your kids, unless you are truly disruptive or doing something very unsafe. (I do consider letting your toddler pound on the exit door while in flight and play with the handle to the door unsafe, by the way!) I usually have on my iPod and eyeshade and am trying to sleep, so if your child is being a little noisy, chances are I won't notice. I've had more annoying adults than kids on my flights.

Now, if you are in longhaul business class and decide to perform a 20 minute strip tease for your nine month old baby, complete with your own musical accompaniament, while the rest of the mini cabin is trying to sleep, that is another story. If you then follow that up by an hour of squeaking the squeaky toys, and then change a solid waste diaper on the seat, you may see me have a quiet word with the purser. (Yes, that was all done by one mother while the baby sat quietly and didn't utter a sound the entire 11 hours!)

 

[Val]

Dr. Higbee passed away many years ago....he was a special education professor at Western Washington University, and his son had developmental disabilities. He was very, very involved in Council for Exceptional Children. He was the most inspiring, tough and kind mentor I ever had the priviledge of having. He did advocate the use of a book by Dr. Leo Buscaglia-

The Disabled & Their Parents: A Counseling Challenge (Paperback)
by Leo F. Buscaglia (Author)

It is still available on Amazon.com. It is a wonderful guide for setting limits, expecting the best, and getting the best out of all humans. While a very, very humanistic (read touchy feely!)....this book provided an overarching theme for a behaviorally based professor. Dr. Higbee combined the data based research of a good ABA program with the basic premise of "except the best from everyone" attitude.

All of us need limits and boundaries for our behavior. I think that is the saddest part of this thread- we all want to criticize, but no one is willing to help set the boundaries or help enforce them in a loving, compassionate way. It is easier to condem rather than help.

I find that making eye contact with the parent, offering a warm smile, a "know what I think when I see your child misbehaving?- i am thinking thank goodness it is not MY kid this time!.....what can I do to offer you a hand here?" goes a long way. Kind of a been there, done that, commeraderie approach....no criticism, just offering of a hand. Generally, it works!

 

[merryweather20]

Hearing this sort of story makes me terrified to travel. Unless the children or their mother hit or threatened the FA or other employees why would they ring the police? Why on earth was Southwest so sure that they would not behave on the connecting flight? I travelled with my baby cousin to Cuba he cried all the way there, but not on the way back. This was 2 years ago thank goodness, according to a similar story I read several months ago we might have been kicked off our flight before take-off. Babies cry, and some children misbehave, its common and run of the mill.

I have trouble imagining anything that the children could possibly be doing that would be such a safety hazzard. Several people mentioned the seat-belt sign, but if their flight was anything like the ones I've been on in the last several years there would have been several people walking the aisle during the flight, as well as people in line for the bathroom, so not being belted shouldn't result in an automatic ejection. Pounding on the exit door is out (as suggested by Bavaria) since children are never seated in that row for safety reasons. Even in the worst scenario I can imagine SW's behaviour does not add up.

 

[SueM in MN]

First, thanks to all who have written hints.
Someone in one of the other threads suggested using Benadryl and my hint is to try anything like that ahead of time. In some people, those medications have the opposite effect. Instead of working as a mild sedative, they work as a stimulant.
Not something to find out when you are in the air.

Something we have done - have some brand new coloring books (or whatever your child likes). A steady source of snacks was mentioned already - we have as many different types as we can, just in case DD decides she doesn't like her usual.

Sometimes it isn't the Mom's fault, but in this case it may have been. I just don't understand why they weren't given another flight. If someone is too intoxicated they allow them time to sober up. Why don't they allow children time to quiet down?

The only thing I know about that is in the airlines' written statement, they said they would not allow the family to go on to the connecting flight "at that time".
There is no explanation, so I don't know if that means they might have left them on another flight.

 

[bavaria]

Hearing this sort of story makes me terrified to travel. Unless the children or their mother hit or threatened the FA or other employees why would they ring the police? Why on earth was Southwest so sure that they would not behave on the connecting flight? I travelled with my baby cousin to Cuba he cried all the way there, but not on the way back. This was 2 years ago thank goodness, according to a similar story I read several months ago we might have been kicked off our flight before take-off. Babies cry, and some children misbehave, its common and run of the mill.

I have trouble imagining anything that the children could possibly be doing that would be such a safety hazzard. Several people mentioned the seat-belt sign, but if their flight was anything like the ones I've been on in the last several years there would have been several people walking the aisle during the flight, as well as people in line for the bathroom, so not being belted shouldn't result in an automatic ejection. Pounding on the exit door is out (as suggested by Bavaria) since children are never seated in that row for safety reasons. Even in the worst scenario I can imagine SW's behaviour does not add up.

Honestly, I think that you are worrying too much. Things DO happen, but I fly every week and have seen it all. The child pounding on the exit door wasn't seated there - I was, and I was going to be the passenger sucked out if it opened, so I was certainly concerned. That was the same toddler who ran up and down the aisles for six hours and caused an aborted landing when his parents allowed him to jump out of his seat during landing.

That is the exception to the norm of flying. For me flying is like some of you taking the bus or train to work every day. Most flights are uneventful, but the eventful ones are usually VERY eventful.

Keep in mind that airlines do not prevent people from flying for minor reasons. A crying child is not a reason to remove someone from an aircraft, but a parent who refuses to try and comply with regulations is. The media tends to show only part of the story. There was a story about an unrestrained toddler who was removed from the aircraft before takeoff a few years ago - I don't know if you are referring to this one, but yes, I do support the airline. A few weeks after that I had the aborted landing and posted it to show why I would support such a decision.

As to the seatbelt sign - it is very important for your safety. Every week I see passengers getting up during take off and landing, or during turbulence. Several flights this year have been diverted due to injuries sustained by unrestrained passengers during turbulence. A friend's mother was knocked unconcious during a flight in Asia - she was on her way to the lav, the aircraft hit turbulence, and she quite literally bounced off the ceiling.

Those rules are there to protect people, and if people don't comply, they could have disastrous results.

 

[Belle1962]

updated news articles


FYI; report with a quote from another passenger:

http://www.abc15.com/news/local/stor...2-ff2890c873ee

A Seattle family said they were left stranded at Sky Harbor Airport over the holiday weekend when Southwest Airlines refused to allow them to board a connecting flight because their children were disruptive.

Wendy Slaughter and her sister were heading with four children from Detroit to Seattle on July 4th. They were to change planes in Phoenix.

Slaughter told KIRO-TV in Seattle she was left stranded with no money and no way to get anywhere because her kids were too disruptive.

According to the KIRO report, one of Slaughter’s children is autistic, another has cerebral palsy.

Slaughter admits her kids were restless, but Southwest is being unreasonable.

Pat McElroy disagrees. As a passenger on the flight with the Slaughter family, he told KIRO, “It was the flight from hell. I never experienced anything like it in all my years of flying.”

McElroy said the children kept moving around when the seatbelt sign was on. He also said the kids were shouting, going up and down the aisle being disruptive.

In a statement to KIRO, Southwest Airline said “Southwest Airlines is responsible for the safety of all our passengers, even the passengers whose behavior appears to jeopardize that safety.”

The statement goes on to say that Southwest needed to address the situation before it escalated out of control.

Slaughter’s sister Jennifer Woodward said the kids were just being kids and they were sitting in the back of the plane so they wouldn’t cause problems.

Slaughter told KIRO that police in Phoenix gave her money to eat at McDonald’s and arranged for the family to stay in a motel.

A spokesperson for Phoenix Police said airport officers were contacted by Southwest Airlines to meet a flight coming in from Detroit with disruptive passengers on the flight.

Police escorted the Slaughter family to an office, where officers filed out a Federal Aviation Violation form.

Phoenix Police said it is a civil matter, not a criminal investigation and the Department will not investigate any further.

Slaughter said a relative paid $2,000 for the family to fly another airline Saturday morning. Slaughter believes she should be reimbursed for the cost of those tickets.

Southwest told KIRO it did refund the tickets on its flights.


And they are getting refunds on their ONE WAY tickets:
http://www.azcentral.com/news/articl...tairlines.html
Southwest Airlines has agreed to refund the tickets of a woman and her family who were kicked off their connecting flight to Seattle at Sky Harbor International Airport.

Airline officials contacted the family Monday, saying they would refund the entire cost of their six one-way tickets from Detroit to Seattle via Phoenix, according to Southwest Airlines spokeswoman Christi Day.

Wendy Slaughter told Seattle television KIRO Channel 7 she was traveling with her four children and pregnant sister Friday when they were detained by police at their gate. They were told they were too disruptive to get on their connecting flight to Seattle, leaving them stranded with no money or accommodations.
Slaughter said her children, two of whom suffer from autism and cerebral palsy, were "out of control, restless and excited, but they are kids," according to KIRO.

The children's grandmother had to pay $2,000 to book a last-minute flight on Alaska Airlines for the six of them, according to KIRO-7.

Southwest Airlines said rules prevented them from paying for the Alaska Airlines tickets.




That other thread has gotten NASTY.

UPDATED to add articles. For some reason those links aren't working.

I never listen to the Bendryl or doping your kids people. If you believe this may be necessary check with your doctor. He is more familiar with your children and may either endorse the idea, or give you something else. Now, on our last flight home, I had an ear infection so the doctor told ME to take sudafed about 30 minutes before the flight (even with high BP). However-- we were delayed 4+ hours on the ground and then another 45 minutes on the plane, so I had to take a second dose.

 

[merryweather20]

Honestly, I think that you are worrying too much. Things DO happen, but I fly every week and have seen it all. The child pounding on the exit door wasn't seated there - I was, and I was going to be the passenger sucked out if it opened, so I was certainly concerned. That was the same toddler who ran up and down the aisles for six hours and caused an aborted landing when his parents allowed him to jump out of his seat during landing.

That is the exception to the norm of flying. For me flying is like some of you taking the bus or train to work every day. Most flights are uneventful, but the eventful ones are usually VERY eventful.

Keep in mind that airlines do not prevent people from flying for minor reasons. A crying child is not a reason to remove someone from an aircraft, but a parent who refuses to try and comply with regulations is. The media tends to show only part of the story. There was a story about an unrestrained toddler who was removed from the aircraft before takeoff a few years ago - I don't know if you are referring to this one, but yes, I do support the airline. A few weeks after that I had the aborted landing and posted it to show why I would support such a decision.

As to the seatbelt sign - it is very important for your safety. Every week I see passengers getting up during take off and landing, or during turbulence. Several flights this year have been diverted due to injuries sustained by unrestrained passengers during turbulence. A friend's mother was knocked unconcious during a flight in Asia - she was on her way to the lav, the aircraft hit turbulence, and she quite literally bounced off the ceiling.

Those rules are there to protect people, and if people don't comply, they could have disastrous results.

Seatbelts are certainly very important, but since they are so lax in enforcing them, allowing wanderers in the aisle and an extended line to the lavatory etc. in and of itself it simply doesn't constitute calling the police. In the situation you described I would have expected the parents to be sat down with an airline official to discuss how they would restrain the child on the connecting flight (only because the situation persisted until landing, preferably it would be dealt with before then). If they weren't receptive only then would their tickets be pulled, and the police would never be called.

This was the story that had me concerned (It was a year ago apparently I can't keep track of time)
http://www.wsbtv.com/news/13664685/detail.html

Even if the mom is exagerrating the baby is only 1 1/2 how disruptive can that be, crying and baby-talk should be expected.

These sorts of things have most definitely kept me from buying plane tickets in the last 6 months and I don't even have my own kids.

 

[bavaria]

I don't know if you have ever been through an aborted landing, but sitting down with an airline official is usually not the way it is handled when a passenger creates the situation, especially after six hours of disruption. I was in row 1 and believe me, I saw and heard the pilot and the gate agent once the plane was at the gate. I was also involved in discussion with the crew and the station manager as I was the closest passenger to the ongoing incidents.

The family in today's situation was extremely fortunate that their flight did not have a worse outcome, as unrestrained children (and adults) can sustain serious injuries. The FAA mandates the seatbelt rule, and airlines take it very seriously, for good reason. There have been fatalities in past due to turbulence.

In respect for the moderator's requests on page 1 of this thread, however, may I suggest that discussions about the handling of the situation continue on the Transportation Board, leaving this thread (as Sue requested) to be a more productive one providing information on how to best manage flying.

 

[SueM in MN]

Speaking only for myself, a sincere "can I help in any way?" with a sympathetic expression would go a long way. Even if the parent doesn't need your help, it's nice to know you're not alone, and people don't think you're a bad parent. Distraction might work with some kids, but other kids would find the interaction with a stranger overwhelming.

I think "short and simple" like that is best (at least in my experience).
My DD does not have autism, but we have issues with meltdowns and we've also had people offer help like that when she has had seizures.
Short is nice because if the parent is busy dealing with the child, they don't have time for much.
The question also gives the opportunity for the parent to say what they need or to say thanks, but we don't need any help.

Hearing this sort of story makes me terrified to travel. Unless the children or their mother hit or threatened the FA or other employees why would they ring the police? Why on earth was Southwest so sure that they would not behave on the connecting flight? I travelled with my baby cousin to Cuba he cried all the way there, but not on the way back. This was 2 years ago thank goodness, according to a similar story I read several months ago we might have been kicked off our flight before take-off. Babies cry, and some children misbehave, its common and run of the mill.

I have trouble imagining anything that the children could possibly be doing that would be such a safety hazzard. Several people mentioned the seat-belt sign, but if their flight was anything like the ones I've been on in the last several years there would have been several people walking the aisle during the flight, as well as people in line for the bathroom, so not being belted shouldn't result in an automatic ejection. Pounding on the exit door is out (as suggested by Bavaria) since children are never seated in that row for safety reasons. Even in the worst scenario I can imagine SW's behaviour does not add up.

We don't know what happened or when.
A child getting out of the seat and running around might be annoying during the middle of the flight, but if it's during take-off or landing (really any time the Flight Attendants are sitting) it is potentially dangerous.

One flight I was on, there was a lap baby 2 rows ahead of us. I know the FA had talked to them right after the safety announcements and shown the mom how to hold the baby during take-off. The baby started crying after we had made the final turn to our runway, but before we started taxiing. The mom let him stand up on her legs and was bouncing him up and down. The FA (who was seated and strapped in) yelled at the mom to sit him down, but the mom didn't right away. I've never seen a FA get up once they were strapped in, but that one ran to the mom, said "he needs to be seated right now." THen she ran back to her seat and strapped herself in. When the child started crying again, the mom was going to let him up again, but made him sit when the FA yelled again.
As the plane left the runway, there was a little bump and the overhead bin right above the mom's seat opened. The mom looked up with a white face and the FA said "Things like that are one reason everyone has to sit." If the baby had still been standing, the door would have hit him.
I don't think the mom realized what she was doing was potentially dangerous. She was just thinking of what might calm her child.
People really need to think ahead of time to what else might calm their child if they can't do what they normally do.

 

[DisneyWheeler]

I'd have to admit that when I was younger as a special-needs child, I would throw fits on an airplane to which my mom would get the pity looks from fellow passengers when she was trying to control me during my tantrums. Especially on long flights. One passenger at one time, offered to hold me on her lap while my mom could take a much-needed break while still having me close by.

I've flown quite a lot with my mom since then because of seeing doctors in other states, or traveling on vacation. She's found that a Walkman with my favorite tapes along with a good book to read, and an activity book were all that I needed to keep me occupied on an airplane. Especially on a long flight. When we went to Alabama recently, she brought along her laptop computer so that I could play the games she has on it. Our trip to Alabama was the longest trip I had ever experienced in my life.

Especially when we went from Portland to Eugene, after landing in Portland from Chicago, via Birmingham, AL. That was the first time I had ever taken a plane from Portland to Eugene, when we usually just fly out of either airport, and then make the hour and a half (if it's from Portland) or half-hour drive from Eugene, to home.

I can truely say that playing games on my mom's laptop computer was a lifesaver for me on that trip. Especially when I didn't bring any carry-on bag that has my Walkman with tapes, and some books with me when I would usually bring it on a plane with me. This was because of having to help my mom with folding my walker when we'd board the plane, and my back problems.

Samantha

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

This may not be a popular opinion, but I am going to say it anyway:If you do no think you can control you child on a flight, you need to find another mode of transportation. I want to go into Sp. Ed and certainly advocate for the rights of individuals with disabilities, but there is a fine line between the needs of one and the needs of many. I know if I were on a six hour flight with a screaming child, disability or not I would be very frazzled. The bigger issue is the walking around. Your child must stay strapped in during turbulence, landing, and take-off. If not, the consequences can be deadly, as others have mentioned. Other posters have talked about aborted landings because people were out of their seat. That not only endangers your child, but the entire aircraft.You need to look at your particular child and decide if you can reasonably control them on a plane so that they are safe. If you do not know if you can keep them belted when you must do so, then a steel tube 30,000 feet in the air is not the place to experiment. Flying is not a right, it's a privilidge.I am phobic of airplanes. The last time I flew I started crying in the middle of the airport because I knew we were going to crash. I was fine on the plane, but still fairly stressed during the rather turbulent flight (although I did not make a scene on the plane.) I discovered it was not worth the stress of flying. I can't handle it well, so I don't do it. Is it an absolute pain sometimes? Yes. I have missed out on things because I will drive or take Amtrak instead of fly, but that is what I have to do for my own safety.

 

[bookwormde]

Well I guess I stirred things up a little but hopeful some useful information came out of it.

My starting post was based on the perception that no one was considering the situation and rights of the disabled children.

For those who know me I focus on specific technical considerations, in this case regulatory requirements for FAA 14-382, exploring it with limited information and offering likely possibly for the unknown.

I was amazed at the level of misdirection and personal comments that came. I guess I know not to try technical discussions on the more public boards. I did comment on a few of what I saw as the more offensive comments but as you know I am very sensitive about disability issues.

It really did show me how little perception there is of the narrower disability issue.

And yes I will be talking to SW tomorrow to make sure they are following the regulations.

bookwormde

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way, but I really don't understand why you feel the need to get involved. This does not sound (to me) like it is about disability at all. According to other passengers the kids were out of their seat multiple times when the seatbelt sign is lit. The media reported the disaibility to make it sensational, but at least the way I read it, this was a safety/non compliance issue plain and simple. The fact that the one child had autism and another had CP (which very rarely is associated with behavioral problems) does not negate the fact that their behavior was dangerous and violates FAA regulations. So I am at a loss for why somebody not even involved would feel the need to call SWA about their handling of guests with disabilities.

 

[SueM in MN]

I would rather not have this thread get into discussion of the specific case again.
I will say 3 things though to end the discussion on that subject:

• safety trumps disability. For example, there is a right for people with disabilities to bring their service animals with them almost everywhere, but they can be asked to remove their animal from a business if the animal is out of control and the handler does not take effective action to control it (the example given is a repeatedly barking dog in a movie) -or- the animal poses a direct threat to the health or safety of others. So, there is not an absolute right in that case for accommodation.
• from the published reports, we have no way of knowing whether the flight attendants in fact knew that there were any disabilities involved. (the videos are short, but show 4 kids who do not appear visibly disabled) We also do not know from the reports what the FAs did or did not do related to the situation (other than the aunt and the mother stating they were asked to quiet the children twice).
• from the published reports (including the mother and aunt's own words), all the children were out of control. So, even if there were any disabilities involved in the behavior, that child is still part of a group of children with no disabilities who were "out of control". So, even if none of them had any disabilities, the end result for the behavior would have probably been the same.

I am going to move this to the disABILITIES Community Board at this point. It will be closed if it gets back to debating the case.

 

[Lewisc]

We have a mother, sister and two kids. Mother and sister should have been in aisle seats, with a kid in the window and middle seat. The mother and aunt should have been able to prevent the kids from leaving their seats.

I don't think this is necessarily disability related. If a parent can't keep their kids in their seats they can't fly. The reason the kids won't stay in their seats is irrelevant. It may be more difficult to keep an autisitc child in the seat but that doesn't change the fact that passengers have to be in their seats, belted, when instructed to do so by the flight crew.

The mother said the kids were "out of control". Another passenger said they kids weren't in their seats when the fasten seat belt sign was illuminated.

 

[carrie6466]

A question for parents who travel with children on the spectrum - if your child is having a meltdown, what do you want others to do? Ignore you/your child? Try distraction (you know how with a baby you might start playing peek-a-boo)? I've always gone with "pretend I don't notice so as not to make it seem like a big deal", but maybe ignoring something obvious is upsetting to parents/children.

The distraction wouldn't work for us at all, because my dd 5 is afraid of strangers and has been know to go from just fine to hysterical just because someone she didn't know tried to engage her in conversation. We are working on that and she is getting better with it, as long as she is the conversation initiator

Speaking only for myself, a sincere "can I help in any way?" with a sympathetic expression would go a long way. Even if the parent doesn't need your help, it's nice to know you're not alone, and people don't think you're a bad parent. Distraction might work with some kids, but other kids would find the interaction with a stranger overwhelming.

I have to agree with this. Sometimes it does just help to know someone actually cares and isn't just grumbling as they stare.

I, too, am one who has taken dd out of numerous stores, restaurants, etc. I don't like to disturb other people. My dd isn't their problem. She is good on plane though. We give her the noise-cancelling headphones, bring lots of snacks, and some new little 'distractions' (dollar store toys, coloring books she's never seen) and she's usually fine. I think I'm more uncomfortable flying than she is LOL

 

[jodifla]

What greatly disturbs me about these threads is the folks who think it's all about discipline, or that parents of special needs kids have a crystal ball and can predict when/where they will have a problem. (Many parents of younger kids are just figuring out WHAT their kids needs are, and/or they may have traveled MULTIPLE times without ANY problems.)

What is also totally galling is the asumption that because you've seen a family traveling, you can make a judgment call that the kid is a "brat" or the parents are terrible parents.

But if we sifted through the moments of every family on this thread, heck on the DIS boards, we're going to find moments where YOU weren't a perfect parent, and YOUR KIDS were acting out of control.

We're seeing more and more of this really aggressive action toward kids with disabilities and families as FAs have been given Godlike authority on planes.

This is not to excuse poor behavior on planes by anybody. As a parent, I've held my toddler's feet for 2 hours so he didn't kick the seat in front of him. But I might of let him play with the tray back (putting it up and down) a few too many times for another passenger's comfort.

But this default position of throwing particularly autistic children off planes smacks of something that's gone wrong with how FAs are trained.

The RIGHT thing to do is to offer to help the parent if you can. Perhaps you can't, but offering assistance it the Good Samaritan thing to do.

 

[In a hurry]

I would rather not have this thread get into discussion of the specific case again.
I will say 3 things though to end the discussion on that subject:

• safety trumps disability. For example, there is a right for people with disabilities to bring their service animals with them almost everywhere, but they can be asked to remove their animal from a business if the animal is out of control and the handler does not take effective action to control it (the example given is a repeatedly barking dog in a movie) -or- the animal poses a direct threat to the health or safety of others. So, there is not an absolute right in that case for accommodation.
• from the published reports, we have no way of knowing whether the flight attendants in fact knew that there were any disabilities involved. (the videos are short, but show 4 kids who do not appear visibly disabled) We also do not know from the reports what the FAs did or did not do related to the situation (other than the aunt and the mother stating they were asked to quiet the children twice).
• from the published reports (including the mother and aunt's own words), all the children were out of control. So, even if there were any disabilities involved in the behavior, that child is still part of a group of children with no disabilities who were "out of control". So, even if none of them had any disabilities, the end result for the behavior would have probably been the same.

I am going to move this to the disABILITIES Community Board at this point. It will be closed if it gets back to debating the case.

Sue, I don't think you've ever posted anything that I disagreed with. Thanks.

Jodifla, I think it has nothing to do with the diagnosis, and everything to do with the behaviors which are dangerous, and rude.

 

[Alesia]

What greatly disturbs me about these threads is the folks who think it's all about discipline, or that parents of special needs kids have a crystal ball and can predict when/where they will have a problem. (Many parents of younger kids are just figuring out WHAT their kids needs are, and/or they may have traveled MULTIPLE times without ANY problems.)

What is also totally galling is the asumption that because you've seen a family traveling, you can make a judgment call that the kid is a "brat" or the parents are terrible parents.

But if we sifted through the moments of every family on this thread, heck on the DIS boards, we're going to find moments where YOU weren't a perfect parent, and YOUR KIDS were acting out of control.

We're seeing more and more of this really aggressive action toward kids with disabilities and families as FAs have been given Godlike authority on planes.

This is not to excuse poor behavior on planes by anybody. As a parent, I've held my toddler's feet for 2 hours so he didn't kick the seat in front of him. But I might of let him play with the tray back (putting it up and down) a few too many times for another passenger's comfort.

But this default position of throwing particularly autistic children off planes smacks of something that's gone wrong with how FAs are trained.

The RIGHT thing to do is to offer to help the parent if you can. Perhaps you can't, but offering assistance it the Good Samaritan thing to do.

The family wasn't thrown off the plane because their son was autistic. They were thrown off the plane because, in their own mother's words, "they were out of control." All 4 of them, apparently.

I have a difficult time understanding how being appalled that 3 adults can't keep 4 children under some semblance of control translates to being mean to kids with autisim.