Transgenders and bathrooms....

[mnrose]

I was the victim of a pervert when I was 11. He was related to me, not a stranger. This is true the VAST majority of the time. It's someone known to the victim. Not a stranger in the bathroom.

 

[msjprincess]

THIS is the reason that I now carry pepper spray and I am not afraid to spray a guy using the women's bathroom while screaming for help

Alrighty then

 

[DisneyOma]

Honestly, I'm not all that well versed on the transgender thing as it isn't intersecting with my life yet but....

When transgenders are permitted into the bathroom of the gender with which they identify, what's to stop some pervy guy/gal from just saying they identify with a certain gender just to go into the bathroom and "be pervy" (whatever perverts might do in the bathroom to be perverts)?

Or is there really nothing a pervert could do in a bathroom that other patrons of the bathroom might find perverse? I haven't given it a whole lot of thought.

FTR, I do realize that biological gals could be just as perverted in the women's bathroom (same for guys and men's bathroom) but I would think that would be much more rare.

This might be a giant can of worms but I want to know other's opinions on this.

I'd prefer the 'perverts' do their perverted things in the stall of the bathroom, (by themselves) rather than the aisle in the store. Unless you mean a sexual attack - and that would make the person a rapist, or somesuch, not a pervert.

The fallacy of the transgender hysteria is shown by the idiots who insist that they will walk into Target and, being a man, dressed as a man, identifying as a man, insist on using the women's bathroom. Transgenders, no matter what stage of transition they are in, typically dress in the clothing/style of the gender they identify with, are transitioning into. So a male identifying as female will look and dress more feminine, and depending on how far the transition has gone, may not be masculine looking at all. No one is going to pull out their waistband and look down into their panties to see what they've got down there.

THIS is the reason that I now carry pepper spray and I am not afraid to spray a guy using the women's bathroom while screaming for help

Carrying pepper spray is illegal in some states, isn't it?

 

[ravenclawtrekkie]

I'm a cisgender woman and I use men's bathrooms when they've got no line and the ladies' room has 10 people waiting. I can't think of a single time anyone cared.

 

[bcla]

Honestly, nothing. But, there currently isn't anything to prevent that. Somebody who really wants to try to spy on others in restrooms could do so regardless of gender, sex, gender presentation, or anything else regardless of the law. That person would no doubt stand out trying to spy upon people and be called out or get in trouble for doing so. Generally, it would be obvious if somebody was doing something that they oughtn't be in a restroom. Neither that person's gender or genitals really have anything to do with that.

Ultimately, none of the concerns you talk about have anything to do with the issue at all. There are zero reported cases of anybody pretending to be transgender and harassing, assaulting, or in any other way negatively affecting anybody else in the restroom. This is not and never has been an issue.

I don't get where there's really an issue that needs to be addressed by a law written the way NC's law was done. I really don't get what it's supposed to achieve. Heck - a male to female trans using a men's room is now more likely to be assaulted. A female to male trans using the women's room is going to create issues too.

On top of that, it would make it illegal for someone to use the facilities corresponding to a post-op sex-change. That's just ludicrous. I'm not sure if an amended birth certificate would change anything. OK - I looked it up and apparently NC does allow for that, but what to do until the paperwork is final?

 

[diznygirl]

I really don't know what to say.

"Well Bless your heart!" always works in a pinch.




Meanwhile, adding another narrow-minded bigot to my Ignore list.

 

[Hrhpd]

THIS is the reason that I now carry pepper spray and I am not afraid to spray a guy using the women's bathroom while screaming for help

You going to scream and pepper spray this guy if he is washing his hands next to you?

 

[Missy1961]

"Well Bless your heart!" always works in a pinch.




Meanwhile, adding another narrow-minded bigot to my Ignore list.

True. But I've never managed to say that properly.

 

[firecracker725]

True. But I've never managed to say that properly.

This southern girl think it's properly said only if absolutely soaked and dripping with sarcasm.

 

[L&Lfan]

I'm a conservative person but I'm an in and out guy when it comes to public restrooms. As long as the stalls have doors I don't care WHO'S in there with me.

 

[mnrose]

You going to scream and pepper spray this guy if he is washing his hands next to you?

Under the silly NC law, this guy would be REQUIRED to use the women's room. Yes, that's going to go over REAL well. LOL.

 

[Mirielle]

You going to scream and pepper spray this guy if he is washing his hands next to you?

No way! I'm going to offer to get his paper towels for him.

 

[Star Wars Girl]

I'll just say this:

In the states with these laws, are they really going to station a bathroom monitor checking everyone out to make sure that they're going in the correct bathroom? No? Then really, how enforceable is this? The answer being not very enforceable at all.

Also, I was in Epcot one day, and there was a man in one of the ladies rooms at World Showcase. Not dressed up as a woman or anything, just a man, standing there. Needless to say, I found another bathroom, but still, I am far more concerned about this than transgender individuals using the bathroom of their choice.

 

[VulcanGirl]

This is absolutely true, I'm certain it's much more difficult for trans people who are unable to "pass" as their gender. There are also many people who are not trans who still don't completely conform to gender norms. These types of laws are just making things more difficult for everyone because now everyone will be more highly scrutinized and possibly humiliated every time they attempt to use a restroom.

I have personally known several biological women who have had issues using the women's restroom (even before these laws began to come about). One straight older friend who simply "appears masculine" has had many confrontations with people in different places. Another good friend was "gender policed" in an airport bathroom a few months ago by an airport security employee. They were physically trying to block her from entering the restroom and repeatedly telling her it was the WOMEN'S restroom. (To me, she looks completely feminine so I have no idea what the person's issue was.)

I'm just waiting to hear the outrage from some of the supporters of these laws when their wives and daughters start getting harassed for not looking "feminine enough".

Indeed. I was traveling yesterday and made a game of how many times airport personnel called me "sir" or "ma'am". I got "sir" three times, "ma'am" three times, and "sir" followed by an apology and a "ma'am" after I responded and my voice apparently convinced the person talking to me that I was actually a woman once. Now, do tell me, which restroom should I use?

 

[punkin]

I'm a cisgender woman and I use men's bathrooms when they've got no line and the ladies' room has 10 people waiting. I can't think of a single time anyone cared.

Just did this with my DD yesterday at a restaurant. There were 2 single toilet rooms. I didnt care if the one I used also had a urinal. I just didn't want to wait in the line for the women's room. Good thing I'm not in North Carolina. Lol.

 

[VulcanGirl]

THIS is the reason that I now carry pepper spray and I am not afraid to spray a guy using the women's bathroom while screaming for help

What a coincidence. A good friend of mine carries pepper spray as well. Of course, she carries it because she's aware of the heightened dangers faced by the trans population and that in recent years there have been the highest number of murders of transwomen on record, so she wants to be prepared to hopefully protect herself from such violence if need be. Of course, she'd only use it if she was actually being assaulted.

Meanwhile, your post implies that you would attack somebody with pepper spray simply because you judged them to be in the 'wrong' restroom. I suppose you're one of those people my friend would need to protect herself from. I guess I better be careful around you as well. I have a ****** (just because you were probably wondering; you do seem to care so much about that), but I am often taken for a man. How would you determine who's in the 'wrong' restroom anyways?

 

[Dznypal]

We were in a restaurant a few years ago there were a group of guys. You could diffently they were guys. Dressed in women's clothes. Make up and all. I noticed they all went into the women's bathroom. I'm sorry to say I found this very unsettling. What places to do now is have more companion bathrooms that way no one has to worry about anything

 

[anneboleyn]

Agree with many who posted above...nothing has changed and pervs will be pervs.


I do find it interesting that now with the bathroom issue everybody is suddenly concerned for women and children. Why is this concern just coming now? Why haven't these people stood up against rape culture when scandals of football players and coaches come out? Priests and politicians? Where have the boycotts been? Why is the message then all about what the girl did or why ruin these good men's lives? We hate to see our "heroes" fall, but the concern for womens' safety now seems a bit hollow and frankly as an excuse to further marginalize an already marginalized group.

I wish there was a "standing ovation" button next to the "like" button for this comment!

 

[VulcanGirl]

We were in a restaurant a few years ago there were a group of guys. You could diffently they were guys. Dressed in women's clothes. Make up and all. I noticed they all went into the women's bathroom. I'm sorry to say I found this very unsettling. What places to do now is have more companion bathrooms that way no one has to worry about anything

May I ask, how could you tell they were "guys", as you put it? We are taught that society that we can determine somebody's gender by their physical appearance and/or gender expression, but that's not actually the case. Unless each of these folks told you
"Hey, I'm a guy." you didn't actually know what their genders were. And, frankly, the fact that they were dressed in clothing that is traditionally coded feminine and used the women's restroom, it is more likely that they were women than men. Since gender expression is something and individual can determine and physical appearance is something that people have less control over, the former is often a better indicator of gender than the latter. Though, I of course do not mean to dismiss the validity of gender non-conforming folks. One's clothing, hair style, etc. by no means have to conform to traditional gender stereotypes.

 

[minnie mum]

THIS is the reason that I now carry pepper spray and I am not afraid to spray a guy using the women's bathroom while screaming for help

Based on some of your posts, this doesn't surprise me. I'd also recommend that you keep a good attorney on speed dial.