Saturday, May 26th - Duck a la' Bagel and Cheese Glorious Cheese!
So we made a stop at a local Publix on Friday morning and let me tell you... Stereotype Central and highly entertaining. I could write a trip report just about the grocery store, but I won't.
We picked up some bottled water, Pelligrino, Cranberry juice, milk, mini-bagels, pre-packaged cantaloupe and honeydew melon, and a group of green bananas that refused to ripen no matter what we did with them during the week.
Put 'em in a paper bag for a day: still green.
Leave 'em on the sink while we're showering in the hope that the steam and warmth will do something: still green...and definitely damp.
Set 'em outside on the patio for a bit while we nap: still green; and now they're an exotic pleasure destination for adventurous love bugs.
Chuck 'em in the trash and vow never to buy bananas in Florida again: still eff-ing green.
I'm not kidding...by Thursday these stupid bananas were still as hard and green as they were when we bought them a week earlier; I don't get it. What gives with the Incredible Hulk Bananas in Florida???
Ok, granted I'm a little behind, but I'm trying to catch up honest. Besides, I have valuable information to impart from a native Floridian to a Mid-Westerner.
1. We are very protective of our Publix(es?) (Publixi? anyway...). Now that I'm in Scotland I LONG for the days of massive, beautifully laid-out aisles and aisles of Publix-brand goodness at a significant discount to name-brands. (To this day the only cottage cheese I feel is worth eating is the Publix-brand. It has spoiled me for life. Swear.) The one you went to is the Xentury City Publix on the corner of 192 (what we locals call the West Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway) and International Drive (I know that sounds weird because most people think of International Drive being way up by Universal, and it is, but it keeps going a long way and is even split at one point... this is confusing, but just trust me
). I agree, it's more than a little worse for wear and being that it's on 192 (where such fine resort establishments as the Viking Hotel, I kid you not, are located it's no wonder that you would have seen a *ahem* interesting assortment of folk). But, it's the closest one to the off-ramp your driver would have taken and so makes the most sense in that... sense. (Dang, I hate using the same word in a sentence twice. Negitive points for me.) Next time, if you're feeling like you need to get away from the riff-raff, ask to go to the Regency Village store (8145 Vineland Ave Orlando, FL 32821). It's very new and very pretty. And on some days they play 80's music. I don't know why this happened, but on my weekly shopping run it always made me happy.
Right, enough of that, on to:
2. Those green bananas probably weren't bananas but plantains.
"Plantains are a member of the banana family. They are a starchy, low in sugar variety that is cooked before serving as it is unsuitable raw. It is used in many savory dishes somewhat like a potato would be used and is very popular in Western Africa and the Caribbean countries. It is usually fried or baked. Many people confuse plantains with bananas, some of the differences are noted above. Although they look a lot like green bananas and are a close relative, plantains are very different. They are starchy, not sweet, and they are used as a vegetable in many recipes, especially in Latin America and Africa. Plantains are sold in the fresh produce section of the supermarket, they usually resemble green bananas; ripe plantains may be black in color." We Floridians love our Latino-Caribbean food and so plantains are a mainstay in most good grocery stores, but if you'd never seen them you'd never know the difference. Now, if you'd had a deep frier you could have made yourself some fried plantains
but as it was, you were better off throwing them out.
... I really hope this was helpful and not snarky or know-it-all-ish. Truth be told, I'm just super homesick at the moment so being able to go all uber-Florida nerd felt pretty good. So if you found this at all insulting or annoying I do apologize. I'm just missing home.
I will now return to the rest of your, no doubt, highly amusing report. And thank you again for sharing.