Teen Anxiety

[StitchesGr8Fan]

I have dealt with anxiety since childhood, and have tried many ways to deal with it, but it's an extremely difficult thing to deal with. One thing I have found that helps when I am on the verge of having an anxiety attack is to focus on a sight, a sound, a smell, a taste and touch. This might really help her when she feels that she is becoming overwhelmed. I hope your daughter finds something hat works for her... It's definitely a difficult thing to live with.

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I too have suffered from anxiety for most of my life, and I've found that "grounding" myself to one of my senses (usually touch) helps. When I get anxiety I feel like I can't swallow and putting a hand on something solid gets me past that moment of panic.

OP, please consider an additional medication for your daughter. A quick recuse medication is helpful, but doesn't prevent anxiety. Your daughter may have a chemical imbalance in her brain that all the therapy and diet changes in the world can't fix. She can't help it, it's the way she was born. If she had diabetes or epilepsy you wouldn't expect her to not to medication to prevent an episode. For some people anxiety is no different. And it is hell trying to fight your brain to be "normal" day after day.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I have a 15yo daughter who suffers from anxiety. She has been going through therapy for the past year, but still doesn't seem to know how to cope. I ask her if she has asked either of her therapists on how to deal with anxiety and she said she did, but they don't really offer her any suggestions. I find that a little odd and I will be talking with her therapist. She was on Propanalol to see if that would help and she said it hasn't.

So what sparked this big talk with her today is that she just got her first job prior to Easter. She was hostessing and they trained her to do food expo/running. She hasn't been getting many hours which we found strange because we live in a resort town and these places are pumping with business. She tells us that she hates hostessing because she has to talk to people and that's really hard with her anxiety. She has scoliosis so carrying the big trays hurts her back and she told her manager. She was talking with one of the other hostesses and told her about her anxiety and not liking talking to people (we think this girl told the manager). Anyway, they told her that because of all of this they can only schedule her 1 day a week.

Needless to say she doesn't want to go anywhere else because of the anxiety of asking if they are even hiring let alone starting somewhere new. She blames all of this on her anxiety. Her father is just dumbfounded and doesn't know what to do or how to parent her. He is incredibly frustrated. I am frustrated too because not once has she researched coping mechanisms for her anxiety or how to help ease the pain of her scoliosis.

Anyway, I need some help. The threads on here are a couple of years old so I was hoping that there was newer meds, or a great site that I can direct her to for coping. I am just at a loss.

I am jumping in here to give you my 2 cents. I can offer plenty of advice, BTDT.

Firstly, the propanalol. Get her off that med safely. It is a beta blocker which affects the heart. NOT a good choice for an anxiety med.

Who prescribed the med? I absolutely recommend a psychiatrist for med regulation. IF her psychiatrist was the person that prescribed the propanalol, change psychiatrists.

Next, addressing the scoliosis, get her some physical therapy. She can do PT and exercise to help her.

Counseling. First, she has to be open to getting better. That is a key thing to changing.

Secondly, your dd is 15. You can request a private meeting with the counselor. I would have a "sit down" with this counselor and then determine your next step, either working with this counselor or getting a new one.

In fact, you need to take a more active role in what is going on with your dd and the counselor. I would have co sessions with your dd & counselor.

I have 2 dd's and for the most part when they were minors I was a part of their therapies, either sitting in a session or sitting down with dd and therapist to go over what is going on.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, I very much second a good portion of the advice here.
While it may be more common for young teens to work where you are located (it is def. not common here) That doesn't mean that it is good or right for many teens. You might need to look into counselors/psychiatrists that will be better at helping and treating your daughter. I have heard of good results for moderate anxiety with a low dose of Zoloft.

This must be so hard for you!
I think most of us can understand and offer support and 'hugs'!

I do think that with a different outlook, approach, and professionals, things can and will improve greatly!

PS: I have some issues with an uneven hip and curvature of the spine.
If this is enough, at her age, to be limiting her abilities and cause her discomfort, then make sure that she is seeing a physical therapist and/or good chiropractor. It is never too early to begin serious treatment for these spinal issues. And, unfortunately, in some cases, treatment can be an ongoing life-long endeavor.

My teen son also has similar issues.

I finally found a good chiropracter, which can be difficult! My son and I drive over 30 minutes to see him every few weeks.

 

[wilkeliza]

For her anxiety has she had a full blood panel that looks at hormones? Some anxiety is caused by an imbalance and can be better helped when working to correct that. Have her thyroid and andriods checked out. Some also say a check of healthy gut bacteria as well.

I have anxiety but mine isn't an imbalance or anything so medicine will do nothing but mask the anxiety. I also have been known to have panic attacks. One thing that helped me greatly was determining what caused me to have anxiety and panic attacks. To be honest the panic attacks were easier. I've been controlling those pretty well for 6ish years now. Anxiety was much harder. I need to be in control and that's hard. I can't control train delays, crowds at theme parks or baseball games, stock at stores, etc. Some days those things don't bother me and others it can ruim my entire day and sprial me close to a full blown anxiety break down. Now I plan what I can and breathe and ground myself for the others. My grounding is a process of telling myself why those things don't matter. I have to look at the bigger picture instead of the smaller. The hardest for me is doctors. They always cause me anxiety. Lately doctors have been a lot of breathing and always getting a 2nd opinion.

The first tackle will be getting your daughter to get to the root of her anxiety. It is hard to start to learn how to deal with it if you don't know what you are up against.

 

[Rhie]

B

And for your information we are frustrated with her because she comes off as not wanting to do anything to help herself. .

Of course seh does! That's what anxiety DOES. It makes it physically impossible to actually help herself. So, she needs a lot of patience - NOT frustration or telling her to do it herself - and a lot of support. She probably doesn't want to talk to you because you keep telling her to do things. What that does in an anxious mind is create an even bigger nasty feedback loop. We already are absolutely CONVINCED that we letting ourselves and everyone down. When someone (even well meaning) comes along to say "oh do this why aren't you doing this why can'y you do this" it just makes even worse. What you need to do is literally sit down with her, and go over information. Try that article I linked above. Send it to her, and have her read it. Do you know if she communicates better in voice or in writing? I find that when Anxiety is acting up I can text but not talk. Maybe have her write an email, or text you with her thoughts on that. And above all, BELIEVE HER. If she says she can't do something because of anxiety she really can't do it. Hear that as her saying "I have broken two legs and both arms so I can't do anything" because it IS that severe.

She doesn't need fancy anything. She needs basic compassion from you and others in her support system, a good compassionate GP, and a good therapist. She needs you to fight with her and sometimes for her since its extremely difficult for her to do that herself. When I went to my first appontment, my friend had to literally grab me by the hand and shove me inside the therapy office, and then walk me back. She will meet with a LOT of people including doctors who don't get it. Don't believe them. Believe HER.

And, to be a bit blunt here, you have to have no ego here. That means when you get advice that may sound rude, don't get defensive. If someone says rethink something, rethink it. If your daughter yells and pushes you away, say okay and be patient. Your feelings really aren't the center here. Your daughter's are. And that may mean counseling for you and your husband, as well. Also, see a doctor about mental health issues as Anxiety is genetic which means she probably got it from one of you.