Teen Anxiety

[Christine]

Just to throw this out there: My DD started using propranolol at age 19 for some anxiety issues that mainly gave her rapid heart rate and shakiness. The propranolol worked very well for that and works right away, non-addictive, etc. It's actually a great starting med for situation anxiety but may not work for everyone.

OP, just to echo others: some therapists do talk therapy and some do CBT. In CBT, they aren't much interested in the "why" of your anxiety but more of teaching you methods to cope with it. It never really worked for me but I may not have ever had a good CBT therapist. Talk therapy can also help to work through some thoughts you might be having that could be triggering the anxiety. Two different approaches.

I would encourage your daughter to keep pushing herself to do uncomfortable things. I know it's hard, but it will likely be a challenge for her most of her life and the more she gets used to it and her body learns to read these interactions as not-a-threat, the better.

 

[Poohforyou]

You say your daughter hasn't researched her condition or ways to manage it. I really find that statement from a parent to be odd. If she had a heart condition would you leave it to her to research it and decide on how to manage it?

Have you sat down with her and discussed what seems to help her and what are her triggers?

If her therapist isn't helping, time to look for a new one. You only have a few years before she's an adult and you no longer have a say in her medical care. Don't miss this opportunity to help her.

 

[bethy]

You say your daughter hasn't researched her condition or ways to manage it. I really find that statement from a parent to be odd. If she had a heart condition would you leave it to her to research it and decide on how to manage it?

Have you sat down with her and discussed what seems to help her and what are her triggers?

If her therapist isn't helping, time to look for a new one. You only have a few years before she's an adult and you no longer have a say in her medical care. Don't miss this opportunity to help her.

Also, the process of managing anxiety is a several years long journey just to get to a point where you feel sort of OK and that this is your new normal. Especially for a teen who is already in a period of life with intense changes and growth. Also, anxiety in and of itself can paralyze her from "doing research".

A therapist is not equipped to tackle the core issue of a medical case of anxiety. It is a medical condition and a medical doctor - or at least a Psychologist - needs to help her get stabilized so she can then get to a point where she is open to learning things like meditation and coping techniques.

Anxiety is a medical diagnosis.

 

[kimj88]

It is great that she is going to therapy and perhaps a different therapist would be a good first step.
I would also caution though to not be afraid to try other medications. They can make a huge difference in quality of life and ability to activate some of the coping skills.
47 years of anxiety myself, and now a 12 year with it as well so I am very familiar with it.

 

[Snap Crackle Pop]

I think it's really important that she gets a psychologist that she can talk to and that will actually give her ways to help her cope with her anxiety. If she says that her current ones aren't helping you really do need to find a new one, or ask what is happening during those sessions with her psychologist/therapist/psychiatrist because there could be a chance they are giving suggestions but she doesn't think they will work or is too anxious to try these coping mechanisms.
As someone with anxiety while I may know what may trigger my anxiety, there are times where there will not be a trigger and I'll just be extremely anxious for no reason, sometimes there is no reason to feel anxious or nothing happened it just came out of nowhere. But it's good to kind of know what may escalate it.

 

[HeatherC]

I'm sorry your daughter is suffering with anxiety. This may sound crazy, but I started getting anxiety in my late forties...during perimenopause. I never ever suffered from it before and I can tell you it is awful when it strikes. What has seemed to be working for me is taking a B Complex vitamin every single day. If I miss a couple days taking it, I can feel the anxious feelings start to creep back in. I read about it somewhere and mentioned it to my doctor. She said she had also read about it and suggested I give it a shot. For the past year, I have been taking my regular multivitamins, vitamin D and a B Stress Complex. I have noticed a huge difference.

The teen years, along with the menopause years are a time of big hormone fluctuations which could also have something to do with why anxiety hits.

Our bodies also just eliminate the extra B vitamins through our urine so it really can't hurt for her to try it for a couple months...if her doctor thinks it would be ok for her.

Best of luck!!

 

[maciec]

You say your daughter hasn't researched her condition or ways to manage it. I really find that statement from a parent to be odd. If she had a heart condition would you leave it to her to research it and decide on how to manage it?

Have you sat down with her and discussed what seems to help her and what are her triggers?

If her therapist isn't helping, time to look for a new one. You only have a few years before she's an adult and you no longer have a say in her medical care. Don't miss this opportunity to help her.

Not odd at all. She is very intelligent and researches everything. She researched depression when it was something that she thought she had.

She is very broad when she speaks about her triggers. We have been dealing with this for a year. I have researched and sent her links an bought her books that came very highly recommended by her therapist. I have spent a lot of time reading and forwarding her information to read and she doesn't do it. She threw the books that I got her away.

We are in the process of researching CBT's in our area.

 

[maciec]

I'm sorry your daughter is suffering with anxiety. This may sound crazy, but I started getting anxiety in my late forties...during perimenopause. I never ever suffered from it before and I can tell you it is awful when it strikes. What has seemed to be working for me is taking a B Complex vitamin every single day. If I miss a couple days taking it, I can feel the anxious feelings start to creep back in. I read about it somewhere and mentioned it to my doctor. She said she had also read about it and suggested I give it a shot. For the past year, I have been taking my regular multivitamins, vitamin D and a B Stress Complex. I have noticed a huge difference.

The teen years, along with the menopause years are a time of big hormone fluctuations which could also have something to do with why anxiety hits.

Our bodies also just eliminate the extra B vitamins through our urine so it really can't hurt for her to try it for a couple months...if her doctor thinks it would be ok for her.

Best of luck!!

Thank you so much for this information. I will read up on it! I will try anything that may help.

 

[scrapquitler]

Not odd at all. She is very intelligent and researches everything. She researched depression when it was something that she thought she had.

She is very broad when she speaks about her triggers. We have been dealing with this for a year. I have researched and sent her links an bought her books that came very highly recommended by her therapist. I have spent a lot of time reading and forwarding her information to read and she doesn't do it. She threw the books that I got her away.

We are in the process of researching CBT's in our area.

It's probably just overwhelming to her to think about it.

 

[chewysmom]

My 15 yr old and my 11 yr old both have anxiety. Their ped put them both on hydroxizine to start, bc we didn't want to start off with a daily SSRI. It has worked wonders for both of them. It is kind of like Benadryl in that it can definitely make them sleepy (which is perfect for dd whose anxiety is always worse at bedtime.)

We also started my dd on birth control. Not bc of sex but she also had some PMDD (much worse than pms) and acne that she was dealing with. It took a while for all of us to get over the idea of my 15 yr old being on birth control, but it has also worked wonders. We waited along time on the birth control bc dd really didn't want to have to have a pelvic, but her ped said no pelvic until she's 21, or a few years after she starts having sex.

I'm not familiar with the med your dd is on, so hydroxizine may be too tame, I'm not sure. Just thought I'd throw it out there. The hydroxizine is nice bc they only take it as they need it. It's not a med that you *have* to take every day. My ds no longer takes it in fact. He had a really rough spot, and it helped to get him through it.

But (((hugs))) bc it sucks watching your baby go through this crap.

 

[Poohforyou]

Not odd at all. She is very intelligent and researches everything. She researched depression when it was something that she thought she had.

She is very broad when she speaks about her triggers. We have been dealing with this for a year. I have researched and sent her links an bought her books that came very highly recommended by her therapist. I have spent a lot of time reading and forwarding her information to read and she doesn't do it. She threw the books that I got her away.

We are in the process of researching CBT's in our area.

I have a 16 yo dd so I get the teen years. I imagine your dd is overwhelmed by her issues at times and just wants to be like everyone else. Like I said, I would treat this like any other medical condition. I'd certainly make my child a part of the decision process concerning treatment but I wouldn't be expecting her to read books and articles (unless she wanted to). Heck, my kid has such a heavy course load at school she barely has time for pleasure reading. You might want to rethink how your handling this.

 

[Rhie]

Make sure she is seeing a CBT (cognitive based therapy) therapist. There are many therapists who focus on medication only and don't try to help in other ways, and CBT helps with mindfulness/focus!

Agreed! And make sure they are doing it right. Like any other tool, how effective it is depends on the skill of the person using it. And, if she needs medication that's fine too. Think of it as insulin or any other medication. And, just like a good diet plus insulin makes diabetes easier to manage, a good skilled therapist plus medication will make Anxiety easier to manage.

Finding the right fit for therapy is often a very difficult thing. If you have friends who can recommend a good therapist that might be a good start. Or maybe someone here has some ideas. If you can't find someone to help you, then I'd say look up Psychology Today's list in your area. They sort by specialty. And be prepared to try at least a half a dozen before you find the right one.

Definitely second those who say a job is too much for her right now. The best thing to do is take the summer to find her a good therapist, and help her become stable so that she can excel in school in the fall. I don't know what her schooling situation is, but I can tell you that no matter what it is anxiety can make it impossible to succeed. And she needs the time now to figure out how to manage her disorder, not pile more anxiety on top of it. And I am sorry about her boss. Unfortunately, mental health issues have a big stigma and many bosses don't know or don't care to know how to manage it in an employee. Oh, and for school and work for future reference Anxiety is covered under the ADA so she can get accommodations for schooling and jobs.

I''m not a clinician or anything but I have had Anxiety since I was a teenager. It was just diagnosed and treated properly this year. This was largely because my parents couldn't understand that it is as real as a broken leg, and just as limiting. So right there you are doing a big thing right: believing your daughter about her experiences and trying to help her.

Also, I just read this article today and I think it might be helpful. This site also has a lot of information about mental health. Perhaps go through it with your daughter and see if she identifies with any of it. It might be easier for her to point to something and say "yes this" than try to explain it herself.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/annaborges...af&utm_source=BuzzFeed Newsletters#.rspAnqoN9

 

[mickeyboat]

I have no experience with major anxiety, but I have a friend whose teen daughter has been dealing with it for several years. She sees a therapist, has tried several medications, but has also found yoga helps.

Good luck to you. It is so hard to see our children struggling.

 

[maciec]

I have a 16 yo dd so I get the teen years. I imagine your dd is overwhelmed by her issues at times and just wants to be like everyone else. Like I said, I would treat this like any other medical condition. I'd certainly make my child a part of the decision process concerning treatment but I wouldn't be expecting her to read books and articles (unless she wanted to). Heck, my kid has such a heavy course load at school she barely has time for pleasure reading. You might want to rethink how your handling this.

You're kidding me right? I would never tell someone to "rethink how I was handling this". You have no idea what we have been through and have only been given a brief, very brief, synopsis of what she and we have been going through. I think that's pretty ignorant.

I appreciate all of the kind responses. Some of you have given us a lot of good information for us to follow up on. We don't have a lot of resources in our area like big cities do unfortunately and the wait lists are tremendous if the doctors are even accepting new patients. With the help of her current therapist we are working on a new course of direction. We meet on Wednesday.

 

[Poohforyou]

You're kidding me right? I would never tell someone to "rethink how I was handling this". You have no idea what we have been through and have only been given a brief, very brief, synopsis of what she and we have been going through. I think that's pretty ignorant.

I appreciate all of the kind responses. Some of you have given us a lot of good information for us to follow up on. We don't have a lot of resources in our area like big cities do unfortunately and the wait lists are tremendous if the doctors are even accepting new patients. With the help of her current therapist we are working on a new course of direction. We meet on Wednesday.

When someone posts on a board that she has an issue and what she's doing isn't working suggesting the person might want to rethink how she's handling the situation isn't a ridiculous idea.

You send things to your dd to read about her medical condition and get aggravated that she isn't reading them. Rethinking what your doing and how you can get her more engaged might be very beneficial.

It was just a suggestion. If you don't like it, ignore and move on.

 

[maciec]

Being critical of me when you don't know the situation isn't helpful if you thought it was. Do you have a child with anxiety or a professional in the field? That's who I was looking forward to hearing from. People that have experienced going through anxiety or have a child with anxiety. If you are not one those people you are not helpful and should not be commenting on a thread in which you have no experience with.

And for your information we are frustrated with her because she comes off as not wanting to do anything to help herself. So we are involved in our daughters life and doing our part as parents to research information to help her. We want to share that information with her. At 15 she absolutely knows how to read and I guess we are wrong to expect her to want to help herself along with her parents and therapist wanting to help her. If we didn't do these things then we would be criticized for not being involved.

 

[whitney250]

I have dealt with anxiety since childhood, and have tried many ways to deal with it, but it's an extremely difficult thing to deal with. One thing I have found that helps when I am on the verge of having an anxiety attack is to focus on a sight, a sound, a smell, a taste and touch. This might really help her when she feels that she is becoming overwhelmed. I hope your daughter finds something hat works for her... It's definitely a difficult thing to live with.

 

[Poohforyou]

Being critical of me when you don't know the situation isn't helpful if you thought it was. Do you have a child with anxiety or a professional in the field? That's who I was looking forward to hearing from. People that have experienced going through anxiety or have a child with anxiety. If you are not one those people you are not helpful and should not be commenting on a thread in which you have no experience with.

And for your information we are frustrated with her because she comes off as not wanting to do anything to help herself. So we are involved in our daughters life and doing our part as parents to research information to help her. We want to share that information with her. At 15 she absolutely knows how to read and I guess we are wrong to expect her to want to help herself along with her parents and therapist wanting to help her. If we didn't do these things then we would be criticized for not being involved.

I have a 16 year old daughter who's had medical issues, not anxiety but a medical issue is a medical issue. I wasn't giving advice on treating her specific medical condition but rather on treating a teenage girl with a medical condition. Sending her articles and buying her books isn't working to engage her in dealing with this. Perhaps it's time to try something different.

 

[maciec]

I have dealt with anxiety since childhood, and have tried many ways to deal with it, but it's an extremely difficult thing to deal with. One thing I have found that helps when I am on the verge of having an anxiety attack is to focus on a sight, a sound, a smell, a taste and touch. This might really help her when she feels that she is becoming overwhelmed. I hope your daughter finds something hat works for her... It's definitely a difficult thing to live with.

View attachment 173342

That's really interesting! I am going to show this to her. Thank you!

 

[whitney250]

That's really interesting! I am going to show this to her. Thank you!

You're welcome! I hope it helps!