need some help and a shoulder to lean on

[seadd67]

I write this with questions,and no real answers, that I really want to hear? lol,
Ya it confused me to. This Is the frist time I wrote here in here,or been on the borads since our MNSSHP trip, back in September. It was me my ds and his DGF. this was the 7th trip with my ds(now 18yo),and the frist onewith his DGF.
This was going to be the best of all the trips!,It really turn out to be the mostdifficult and I guess the most Inlighting. We started out at frist, finding out that
she(DGF) does not like Disney,and the people that go to WDW very much and then she does not like to get out In the crowds. Ok i relized this was going to be a long trip.
Then to find out she does not really like to eat in restraunts and at that really around people eather other then my son. She went out of her way to express this. I also found out my DS has
decided that his choice was to follow her desires,likes and dislikes.
He Chose not to do the reg things we do at WDW and the restraunts we usually goto,matter of fact they only went to one adr the whole trip.
I ended up going to the rest. He Infourmed me that he wanted to stop going,
asked me to cancel all of our up comeing trips to wdw,dl and other locations,
she does not really like
to fly she told him.
Now I write this beliveing that I am not the frist or the last to see there child leave the
nest. But our anual trips to WDW look to come to a end on a sour note.
I new the
day would come when I would have to decide to travel with or with out him.
I decided after
that trip there would be no more,it would crush me to see my self go back with out
my DS.
I make it sound like his DGF ruin the trip,thats not the case for the most part
the trip was still wonderfull,i still got to spend the trip with the most Imporatin
person in the world,and for that It was wonderfull. I just had to accept that
he is just moveing on with his life with the person he cares the very much for.
She cares alot for him to and that i am greatfull for,they get along great.

So after all of this I wanted to ask how do you go back to WDW as a single
parent? is it still the same do you still find as much joy?. I am trying to go back
In April and I like to get any Ideas and comphert stories. Sorry for
the rambling??

 

[newdeal]

Dont worry your son will eventually get sick of this girl and will want to go to disney again. He is just at the age where he wants to get laid and so is willing to do anything for any girl who is willing lol

 

[goofy4tink]

My dd just turned 18. But, she does love WDW and all things Disney. But, if she didn't, it wouldn't stop me from going on my own and having a good time. There are probably others that share your love of WDW that would be happy to travel with you. Or, plan to meet up with other DISers when you go on your own.
I have been going to WDW on my own for years. My dd can't travel with me due to school obligations. So, I go on my own. It's not the end of the world. Kids grow up and go their own way. It's hard when they decide to stop going to WDW when they once enjoyed it, but that's the way the world works I guess.

 

[lilvball78]

being 18 is a hard time. for me it was only a few years ago, you're thinking about your future and your life, and your son is fortunate enough to have a gf to share it with. i know that you see these trips as special, and they are, and right now your son might be taking them for granted, especially because he could bring his gf. but i'm sure in a few months, weeks, years? he's going to realize how much he misses that special time with you. and as for going back as a single parent- do what makes you happy, you sound like you deserve it!

 

[Nissi]

Wow - wasn't expecting that kind of answer....umm...I'm glad you can only speak for your own kid, newdeal.

 

[glammadiva]

This girl is not going to last. If she really cared for him the attitude would be different. Check out the solos and adult boards. I love my solo trips!!!!! I meet such great people!! But, I bet when the bloom is off the rose, he will be back to his Disney loving self!

 

[t_catt11]

Wow - wasn't expecting that kind of answer....umm...I'm glad you can only speak for your own kid, newdeal.

Crude... but very accurate. 18 year old kid copying anything his girlfriend wants to do, giving up things he's always enjoyed?

Typical. He'll grow out of it. Will probably take a few years, though.

 

[A Mickeyfan]

sorry DS's GF doesn't like crowds etc.... but how does this belong on this forum? There is not one single comment about the theme parks, attractions Maybe this belongs on the Trips report or even Community Forums... don't mean to flame you but for sure not on this forum... this is for here...

 

[pjhootch]

Well since a moderator replied to the OP I don't think it is so far off topic. This dad is trying to get feedback from folks about going to the parks without his kid for the first time. No more off-topic than the people that ask how to surprise their children or convince their husband to come on a trip. Give the guy a break.

OP- 18 year olds do this kind of thing all the time. Don't let it get under your skin. Immature kids frequently fall into the trap of adopting their girlfriend/boyfriend's likes and dislikes and it takes them a while to find themselves again.

Give him some time and see how he feels about going again with you in a year or so. You just never know. I think 18 year olds are more difficult than 2 year olds sometimes.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

Hopefully your son will decide this girl isn't for him. She sounds pretty high maintenance. At 18, he's still feeling his way around and lots can change quickly.

You should go ahead and go alone. My family isn't into Disney much anymore and I've done several solo trips by myself.

The first felt a bit strange for the first couple of days but after that I realized how much fun I was having alone and loved it.

Now I've got 4 solo trips under my belt and am looking forward to another. I love eating where I want, riding the attractions that I enjoy (HM 7 times in a row once. That was so fun!) and being able to get up and actually make rope drop.

I've met some of the nicest people while chatting in line or waiting in a lobby for an ADR or a bus.

So don't be afraid to go alone. You may find you love it too!

 

[chartle]

Wow - wasn't expecting that kind of answer....umm...I'm glad you can only speak for your own kid, newdeal.

Crude... but very accurate. 18 year old kid copying anything his girlfriend wants to do, giving up things he's always enjoyed?

Typical. He'll grow out of it. Will probably take a few years, though.

OK I finally figured out to who, you (Nissi) were responding to, but coming from a former 18 year old boy with two not so former 18 year old sons (no daughters), x2.

 

[MikeSF]

Boys/men go through phases of likes and dislikes... oh hey so do girls!

This may or may not be the girls doing, he might not ever come back to the Mouse.

As to the DGF on vacation, bad move bringing her in the first place, even if she was a super fanatic (unless she paid her own way). Was there any indication she wanted to go at all? Obviously she agreed to it, maybe she just didn't think it would be the way it was.

 

[A Mickeyfan]

Well since a moderator replied to the OP I don't think it is so far off topic. This dad is trying to get feedback from folks about going to the parks without his kid for the first time. No more off-topic than the people that ask how to surprise their children or convince their husband to come on a trip. Give the guy a break.

OP- 18 year olds do this kind of thing all the time. Don't let it get under your skin. Immature kids frequently fall into the trap of adopting their girlfriend/boyfriend's likes and dislikes and it takes them a while to find themselves again.

Give him some time and see how he feels about going again with you in a year or so. You just never know. I think 18 year olds are more difficult than 2 year olds sometimes.

wasn't a mod on this forum... and I didn't see anything about feed back about parks.. it was about the trip itself.. I am sorry but I didn't see any of the parks mentioned once... or did I miss it..
This type of thread gets better "feedback" on the Community forums.. that was why I stated maybe it should go there.. they are looking for feedback on the DS's DGF and her going with them on their trip.. nothing about what they did in the park, what attractions etc.. it was all about the attitude the girl had, her not liking Disney, not liking crowds etc.. this is a Community conversation.. not a theme park one... I don't get why people feel it is ok to post what ever they want on this forum.. Is it because it is the first on the list?

 

[summerlady]

One word: eighteen. Chances are that if you and your DS enjoyed your trips together to WDW in the past, he will again in the future. In the meantime, let him grow up and don't let that stop you from having fun at WDW yourself, either solo or with another adult who loves it as you do.

 

[picktails]

Wow Nissi, really? Guess you don't have an 18 yo son...
Ours is away at college, new girlfriend, and VERY happy, we know what that means
Get real!

 

[Hannathy]

Although this wasn't the best trip for you it may be the best trip you could ever have taken with your son for what it allowed him to see.

I agree with the other posters he is 18 and enjoying the kind of relationship he only dreamed of before and doesn't want to do anything to disturb those benefits. And right now Disney doesn't compare to what she has to offer him. Just sit back and let the benefits she offers get routine and he will start analyzing what he has to give up for this relationship to continue and he will probably re-think how he wants to proceed. As he starts having to give up more and more things he likes to do for something that isn't that new or forbidden anymore I would bet he doesn't think it is worth it.

 

[Nissi]

Wow Nissi, really? Guess you don't have an 18 yo son...
Ours is away at college, new girlfriend, and VERY happy, we know what that means
Get real!

You're right...I don't. My son is 19 now and thankfully a gentleman around girls. He's smart, funny and handsome and could date whatever girl he wanted to, but has only had one girlfriend. He doesn't jump from girl to girl hoping to "get laid" as the PP so tactfully explained it. I'm as real as they get, sweetheart, and I'm very proud that my son would like to save his manliness for his wedding night...a rare find this day and age. Call me old-fashioned, but he will make an awesome husband one day in a relationship that actually means something. And he'll be better off not having had so much "fun" in college.

 

[Goofy's_Gal]

I too am a single, Disney loving parent. When my son was 16, we took our last DL trip together. He didn't have a DGF along, but it was a miserable time. He clearly is not in love with Disney as much as I am. After that trip, I had to realize that our Disney days were over. So..what did I do? I adopted a baby girl who is now 3. In the past 3 years, we have taken 4 DL trips, 2 WDW trips, and our first Disney cruise is next month (along with 4 days in the parks). I can't even imagine taking a non-Disney vacation I hope she never outgrows going with me, but if that day comes, I hope to have grandchildren to take HER place.

There is no way I would ever NOT go to Disney unless I was physically unable to. Going solo wouldn't bother me a bit...it even sounds quite interesting to be able to see/do exactly what I want. Next year, when my dd is 4, I will plan another WDW trip, probably with just her and I (I usually go with extended family)...if she is not yet tall enough to go on the good rides (she is just 36" right now), I WILL be putting her in one of the resort supervised centers and heading out solo.

So, OP...don't give up Disney - find a friend and make new memories (but cherish the old ones too )

 

[seadd67]

Thank you so much everyone,even the Mod LOl. I posted there because I have read simllar one here before, so sorry If place it in the wrong place. Thanks for the encourgement, . My DS Is the greatet really,it was just disspointing to come to the end of our father and ds trips. I will diffnetly look to going on my own and will diffnetly look to the solo fourm again thanks to everyone

 

[fla4fun]

The first solo trip after being used to going with family might feel a little odd at first. But once you get used to going solo, you will probably prefer it.

I go solo most of the time because I get a lot more vacation time than my friends and family do. I like being able to be spontaneous - I can go where I want, eat what I want, sleep in or get up early, or stay out all night, without having to consider what my traveling companions want to do. Sometimes I go to the bus stop at the resort and just get on whatever bus comes in first. When you go solo, you can always find someone to talk to if you want. I find CM's are very happy to strike up conversations. WDW is also one of the few places where I don't feek awkward dining in the TS restaurants alone. There are so many people there solo that the CM's are totally used to it, and the servers will either talk or let you be - whatever you want. There are no stress, no worries, no problems when you take a solo trip.

Maybe the GF is just not comfortable in public places. Not everyone is. Just because a person is private or prefers to interact with their own small social circle doesn't mean they are a bad person. When I was that age, I wasn't very comfortable in social situations. I think that's something that comes with maturity. Some 18 year olds are mature, some are still working on it. Since the OP said she didn't ruin the vacation, I'm sure she's probably a nice person - she just sounded a bit shy to me. Although most of us who love WDW loved it from day one, a person can learn to appreciate and enjoy WDW even if they don't love it. If the son stays with her, I hope that is the case for her.