I need a sounding board... Re: graduation

[Gina]

Finally, I can see light at the end of the tunnel. Back in '05, I got the oh-so-brilliant idea to finish the degree I had (barely) started in '83. Lots of fun to try and do as a single parent. LOL I wanted to quit soooo many times... But I stuck with it, and this fall is my final semester.

I go to West Texas A&M University, via their special online interface. It's about 11 hours away, at least. I keep waffling about wanting to be a part of the whole graduation thing... Logistically, it would be way hard. Finals are December 4th-10th, and graduation is the 11th. (!!) That's a Friday, which is also weird to me.

I'm sure I could finish my finals early in the finals period -- I do every year for Disney trips -- and then just fly to Amarillo. My folks could drive, but they have this teensy little convertible, which means my son would have to fly too. That would be about $400 right there for the both of us, even with $79 fares. Plus hotel, food, gown, cap, etc.

But it's only barely April, and I'm sure I could save up between now and then. It's the whole graduation thing itself I'm not sure about. I'm so afraid of being the only 40-something in a sea of bright shiny 20 year olds. And let's face it, those gowns look good on no one. Especially 5ft tall, pooh-shaped 42 year olds. I'll look like a bowling ball with a head. And what if I trip or something going across the stage??

But then, I don't want all this work for the past 4 years to be anti-climactic, either. I feel like walking would be an exclamation point on the experience. Plus, the main reason I did all this was to set a good example for my son. I want him to see the culmination of all the work he has watched me do and listen to me gripe about all this time.

Ugh, anyone have any thoughts? Would you feel weird walking if you were me? I know I'll never see these people again and shouldn't care if I fit in or not, but I do. I just can't make up my mind what to do. And I know it's far away, but if I'm going to do it then I need to put in for vacation time soon, and secure hotel rooms, etc. There are like 2 hotels in Canyon, lol.

I'm open to any thoughts! Thanks for listening!!

-gina-

 

[Lady_Gracey999]

First of all congratulations on your accomplishment! Second, at the university I graduated from there were many many "non-traditional" students graduating and I never thought one thing about it. Walk that stage with pride! You've earned it!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I would not give a lick as to what I looked like in the gown or if I stumbled across the stage. You completed your degree and you should be proud! You would see me smiling from space! Who cares? Go and have a great time and enjoy the celebration for what you have accomplished!
Congrats!

 

[mickeyboat]

I would not give a lick as to what I looked like in the gown or if I stumbled across the stage. You completed your degree and you should be proud! You would see me smiling from space! Who cares? Go and have a great time and enjoy the celebration for what you have accomplished!
Congrats!

MTE!

 

[Binnie]

I walked for one graduation and skipped the other. I would say that unless you REALLY want to walk, it would likely feel a little anticlimactic. The speakers usually aren't that interesting and there's a TON of waiting. (I'm an impatient sort, so my class of 600 was a little more than I could bear!)

That said, if you really want to walk, you absolutely should, and it doesn't matter if you're much older than the rest of your class, or that you're Pooh shaped, or anything else. You earned the right, and if you want it, take it!

Logistics be darned. Just decide if you want to walk, and go with it!

Congratulations on finishing your degree. It's a mjaor accomplishment, and you should be really proud of yourself!

 

[Cindy B]

Only you can decide what you want to do. However, I will tell you my story.

Like you, I was an adult student. I was also a first generation college family. I was 37 when I graduated last May for my Bachelor's degree. Looking back, I should have not gone.


It was pouring the day of the ceremony so all outside ceremonies (w/o tickets) was cancelled. I didn't even have enough tickets for my own parents to see the first generation to receive my diploma. I sat in a hot, sweaty gym while my DH and kids sat up high in a uncomfortable bleacher. I didn't get a chance to sit with anyone I knew.
It was pretty unclimatic and I could have honestly stayed home. They say your name and you walk up and shake hands with people you don't really know.

I didn't go to my Associates graduation because I knew that I was going to have a Bachelor's graduation.

You could make up your own local graduation... have someone in your family present you a diploma cover and have your own backyard ceremony. Does the school simulcast it as a podcast or something like that? You can stream it and have your own party at home.


FWIW, my DH is graduating this May. He wasn't sure if he was going to go until he got nominated as the commencement speaker. He is now further in the process and he looks like he is going to be the commencement speaker. He has one more interview with the panel and he was assigned a vocal coach. It isn't confirmed yet but if he is the commencement speaker he is definetely going.

BTW, DH is 46 years old.

I certainly did not feel like the old lady there, but I knew some of the people. Remember that you won't physically know anyone.

 

[3jsmommy]

GO GO GO!!!
It will be such a great experience for your son to see you recieve that diploma. You had it a lot harder than most of those 22 year olds did so celebrate girl!!!!
PS~ You are not going to fall! Most of the people I graduated with were so hung over at graduation they couldn't see straight & all of them remained upright!

 

[Handbag Lady]

Do it!


Nothing feels as good as walking that stage and shouting WHOOO-YAWW!! when you hear your name.

You deserve this small joy.

 

[ROIE01581]

When I got my MBA I went back to my College to do it. It was 7 years since I graduated the first time. Well I also knew a few people who where getting their BA at the same time. As well as some of the same teachers where still teaching. Well When they called the MBA's to the stage and called my name the entire undergraduate class stood and yelled.

The school President said.. you must be a very popular person. My dad wanted to know what I did for that reaction.

It was a very long day, but I am glad i went..

 

[meliss8599]

Honey, walk that stage with pride!!!!!!!!!!! It will rank up there as one of the most amazing moments in your life. You worked SO hard for this, and you earned it.

Show your kids how much you value your education and how much pride receiving your degree brings you.

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU DID IT!

 

[WDWBarb]

Oh, go, go, GO GIRLFRIEND!!

Strut your accomplishment!! You've overcome all obstacles and you are graduating college!!

Get up there in your cap and gown and bask in the glory. It is SO worth it!!



I, too, was a single parent, non-traditional student. I wasn't the oldest in the class but I SURE wasn't the youngest. When I applied for my degree, the lady filling out my application asked my birthdate and then said very quietly, "You can whisper it to me if you want to."



And I was 29 at the time

But never fear... my graduation day was the absolute happiest day of my life. My DD was there to see my walk and get my diploma. My friends and family were there to celebrate. It was awesome, awesome, awesome.

Go, go, go!!

 

[HunnyPots]

Oh please! You should TOTALLY do it! You've earned this! And trust me, it will mean more to you than ANY of those fresh-faced kids up there. You know what it means to want something bad enough to actually work and sacrifice for it; their struggles are just beginning. And I'm sure your parents will be so proud. Give them a chance to see you walk across that stage and get that degree!

 

[disykat]

If it's important to YOU and you can afford it, do it. You deserve to celebrate your accomplishment.

That said, there's no way I would do it. The graduation ceremony in college was not a big deal to me at all. I graduated early and at mid-year. They had a smaller ceremony and it was mostly nontraditional students. I didn't even know there were that many people I didn't know at my school! The only reason it was tolerable was because I did know some people there and a bunch of my friends came. I'd much prefer to spend the money on a trip I would enjoy.

 

[finallygoingtoWDW]

Eh. I knew I graduated, I had my diploma. Honestly, it was no big thing at all to go to the ceremony. Quite boring actually. My DH actually never went to any, with no regrets. With his undergrad degree, he was already enrolled in the masters program, so he figured he'd just wait for that one. When he finished his Masters, he was already enrolled in the PhD program so he figured, he'd just wait for that one. Well he ended up dropping out of the PhD program so he never walked through a graduation. No big deal. It doesn't make his degrees any less real.

 

[jenlynn0808]

You earned it and you deserve to hear that applause! I walked for my Master's and a lot of people couldn't understand why I wanted to. IMO I had worked long and hard (did mine online through MSU) just like everyone else and I did it while having kids and a full time teaching job. I owed it to myself to walk. If you are even considering walking, then walk...if not you may regret not doing it later on. It is a once (sometimes twice ) in a lifetime experience!

 

[lovetoscrap]

Only you know if it is really worth it to you. If you decide not to, what about renting a cap and gown locally and having photos taken with it and your diploma and your family? As someone suggested, have a private graduation with those closest to you.

Congratulations on all your hard work!

 

[Gina]

You guys are so awesome... ...and have given me a lot to think about. I hadn't thought about not knowing a single soul there. Couple that with social anxiety that keeps me from pretty much even talking to people I don't know, and now I'm really re-thinking this. All that time standing around with young people I don't know... just waiting for them to call my name, so I can walk across the stage in front of 3 whole people who know me. I really hadn't thought about all that.

DS (13) told me tonight, "Mom, however you want to do it, we'll do it. If you don't want to go there to graduate, we'll have a huge party here!" Maybe I should just go that route. I would have *never* thought about seeing if it's going to be streamed live somehow! Thanks, Cindy!! I definitely have time to push for that, if it's not in the works.

DS and I are going on a graduation-celebration-cruise in February with his best friend and his best friend's mom (also my friend, also a single mom, and also named Gina, if you can believe that!) so I guess I don't really want to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on something that is just going to stress me out...

I still have time before I have to decide anything. I really really appreciate all your thoughts!!! It helps so much to see all sides laid out before you. Y'all seriously rock.

 

[Gina]

Only you know if it is really worth it to you. If you decide not to, what about renting a cap and gown locally and having photos taken with it and your diploma and your family? As someone suggested, have a private graduation with those closest to you.

Congratulations on all your hard work!

That's a great idea, too! Heck, I could use my old gown (was black too) but it was turned into a Harry Potter costume for DS several years ago. I love the pictures idea... I loathe cameras, but I know I would be glad later on that I did that.

Thanks for the idea!

 

[dismom2]

Congratulations! If it were me, I would try to go to the graduation. I think it will be the icing on the cake for you. And please don't even worry about what you might look like. Grads come in all shapes and sizes and ages. You will look and feel wonderful, I'm sure! Congrats again!!

 

[vettechick99]

I graduated when I was 22 and walked, and thought the whole thing was lame. Like PP's said, its long, boring, tedious, and not as climactic as you think. So I was leaning towards telling you to skip it.

But I like the idea that you are setting a good example for your son. You can make it a big deal, show him the campus, and celebrate education that weekend. I like the idea a lot!