I had a truly terrifying experience-THE TRUTH Pg19

[Buckalew11]

Im doing that as well. If you do not keep your appointments with the psychologist than the psychiatrist will not prescribe you meds and they'll close your case. I was prescribed the meds for the first 30 days and I will see the psychologist on the 23rd. I dont have alot of faith in the psychologist . I've seen a couple as a teen and they didn't help at all. I just want to sort out my thoughts and get my life back. I used to work full time and i'd walk to work 2 miles each way every day and I stood on my feet all day and it was not a problem. I was so in shape and I had friends and was happy. I just want to be that person again. My friends disappeared. They got tired of me . I was the ultimate debbie downer. I don't even blame them .

Reread your post again. You are living in the past. Guess what? You are no longer there. You are no longer thin, in shape, employed, or happy.

Remembering that time and wishing it would just "happen" will not make it happen. You have to "make" it happen. You need to try to work with your counselor and seriously listen to the suggestions he/she gives you. Wishing will not work, just as trips to WDW will not work.

I think you'll have to make new friends and you will not make them when you are miserable. No one wants to be around a miserable person, a complainer, a liar, or someone who blames their life NOW on everything and everyone else. They just don't need those kinds of friends. You need to work on being the kind of person someone will want to be friends with. And this is something you will have to wake up and do EVERY SINGLE MORNING until it becomes second nature again. Second nature for you right now is being miserable, wallowing in your self pity, and blaming others for your unhappiness.

EVERY SINGLE DAY this will take effort when you pop those pretty eyes of yours open. And if you can't do this yourself, then you ask from help from a higher power and you stay connected to that higher power all through your day.

You can be happy again--maybe happier than you have ever been. Slapping your BF around sure wasn't a happy time. Making up internet stories isn't a happy thing. So take your meds, go to your therapist and pray a lot--for yourself, your kids, your momma and their father. And move forward and stop living looking in the rearview mirror. Those days are gone...you have a bright future ahead of you.

 

[RitaE]

Oh for goodness sake Buckalew. Of course she's living in the past. Somebody just dug up a post from a year ago that is exactly the same as the posts she's been making here.

If that isn't living in the past, I don't know what is.

Quit being so nice and helpful. You do too much of that.

 

[Buckalew11]

Oh for goodness sake Buckalew. Of course she's living in the past. Somebody just dug up a post from a year ago that is exactly the same as the posts she's been making here.

If that isn't living in the past, I don't know what is.

Quit being so nice and helpful. You do too much of that.

Let me share this with you. You know she is living in the past. I know she is living in the past but I do not think SHE knows she is living in the past. I think she just wishes the past was her present and it is not and cannot be. Sometimes we must state the obvious.

As someone who knows someone who committed suicide because of anonymous people's comments on the internet, I can't allow myself to just call this what it is and not encourage her to regain her life. Swan4me's link with photos of real people will not allow me to do that. Those kids are real, her momma is real and she, though pretty broken right now, is real and I'll not be accountable for not encouraging someone in this journey we call life.

While I do not want to be taken for a fool on the internet, I also do not want to contribute to someone's falling deeper into trouble either. While all the lies and stories anger me, I also believe this is a young woman who needs a lot of encouragement. What she choose to do with that encouragement is up to her.

 

[HersheyKisses]

Expect for physically abusing him. You said in the other thread that you used to try to beat the crap out of him.

Or have you already forgotten that you told us that?

The victims in this are your children - not you.

Yeah I used to beat the crap out of him but honestly that was so long ago and that does not justify him not parenting his kids. I dont think our past relationship have anything to do with him not being there for his kids.

 

[luvsJack]

Yeah I used to beat the crap out of him but honestly that was so long ago and that does not justify him not parenting his kids. I dont think our past relationship have anything to do with him not being there for his kids.

Whoa! You were abusive to your husband and you don't think that has any bearing on what is happening now? Really?

Did it ever occur to you that he stays away BECAUSE of the kids? That maybe he knows that their seeing you beating him isn't the best thing for them? I mean its not the way I would think and I would take my kids from you in a heartbeat, but he may see it different.

It doesn't justify his being an absent parent, but nothing justifies abuse either. Not even "it was long ago".

You are not a victim. And if you were abusive to a spouse you need to really get some help to make sure this abuse doesn't come out on your kids. Like Crashbb said, your children are the victims here.

 

[DawnM]

I think you are remembering things a bit askew if you think everything was happy during that time. You are saying you were happy because you took meds first of all, but then you say you were a downer so all your friends left. So, did you go off the meds and then become a downer? If so, then there is your answer, go on your meds!

Dawn

Im doing that as well. If you do not keep your appointments with the psychologist than the psychiatrist will not prescribe you meds and they'll close your case. I was prescribed the meds for the first 30 days and I will see the psychologist on the 23rd. I dont have alot of faith in the psychologist . I've seen a couple as a teen and they didn't help at all. I just want to sort out my thoughts and get my life back. I used to work full time and i'd walk to work 2 miles each way every day and I stood on my feet all day and it was not a problem. I was so in shape and I had friends and was happy. I just want to be that person again. My friends disappeared. They got tired of me . I was the ultimate debbie downer. I don't even blame them .

 

[happygirl]

Whoa! You were abusive to your husband and you don't think that has any bearing on what is happening now? Really?

Did it ever occur to you that he stays away BECAUSE of the kids? That maybe he knows that their seeing you beating him isn't the best thing for them? I mean its not the way I would think and I would take my kids from you in a heartbeat, but he may see it different.

It doesn't justify his being an absent parent, but nothing justifies abuse either. Not even "it was long ago".

You are not a victim. And if you were abusive to a spouse you need to really get some help to make sure this abuse doesn't come out on your kids. Like Crashbb said, your children are the victims here.

 

[HersheyKisses]

I dont want to live in my past but I feel stuck and I dont think anything in my life will ever change.I just escape by taking and planning vacations constantly . It's pretty childish but it's the only thing I have to look forward to in my life.It helps past the time.

 

[happygirl]

I dont want to live in my past but I feel stuck and I dont think anything in my life will ever change.I just escape by taking and planning vacations constantly . It's pretty childish but it's the only thing I have to look forward to in my life.It helps past the time.

What do your co-workers think, they might be good people to talk to about all of this.

 

[LuLuO]

Yeah I used to beat the crap out of him but honestly that was so long ago and that does not justify him not parenting his kids. I dont think our past relationship have anything to do with him not being there for his kids.

HersheyKisses, please get help. Take the meds your doctor prescribed and please find a talk counselor who can help you. Stick with it. If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for your children. Kids are smart. They see everything and they hear everything. You may not believe that this stuff impacts them, but believe me, it does.

 

[Buckalew11]

I dont want to live in my past but I feel stuck and I dont think anything in my life will ever change.I just escape by taking and planning vacations constantly . It's pretty childish but it's the only thing I have to look forward to in my life.It helps past the time.

Where does the $$$$ come from for these constant vacations?

 

[happygirl]

Where does the $$$$ come from for these constant vacations?

I thought she worked? Does the ex pay child support I wonder

 

[phorsenuf]

Maybe you should look into a part time job or some activity to get you out of the house on a regular basis. Sitting and stewing isn't going to you or your kids any good. Go make friends, do something with yourself. It'll help with your self-esteem.

 

[focusondisney]

What do your co-workers think, they might be good people to talk to about all of this.

She doesn't work. She is a SAHM. Apparently a SAHM with no means of support who can afford multiple trips to WDW per year. And not on public assistance according to her.

 

[HersheyKisses]

I think you are remembering things a bit askew if you think everything was happy during that time. You are saying you were happy because you took meds first of all, but then you say you were a downer so all your friends left. So, did you go off the meds and then become a downer? If so, then there is your answer, go on your meds!

Dawn

I was not on any meds back than . I was in a happy place at that point . I didn't have kids . I was in a relationship with a much older man who was my everything at the time . I looked....AMAZING back than. I really took care of myself . I'd kill to look like that again . I try but my diets always fail

 

[happygirl]

She doesn't work. She is a SAHM. Apparently a SAHM with no means of support who can afford multiple trips to WDW per year. And not on public assistance according to her.

Oh, I didn't know that. She must be on really good terms with the money fairy then lol

 

[HersheyKisses]

I thought she worked? Does the ex pay child support I wonder

Yes my ex pays child support. He's never missed a payment.

 

[crashbb]

I was not on any meds back than . I was in a happy place at that point . I didn't have kids . I was in a relationship with a much older man who was my everything at the time . I looked....AMAZING back than. I really took care of myself . I'd kill to look like that again . I try but my diets always fail

So, your "happy place" includes beating the crap out of your partner?

 

[Buckalew11]

I thought she worked? Does the ex pay child support I wonder

I think she used to work. I do not think she works now--which is why she posts, watches TV and naps. I think she has stated that he does not pay child support or visit the kids. OH, whoops, I thought he did not help her financially. Well, good for him.

A single mom in her shape probably wouldn't be making the extra dough to spend on a WDW vacation while taking care of the needs to two young children too.

 

[focusondisney]

She must be on really good terms with the money fairy then lol

Yep. Wish I was!