Here's a strategy for you: just say no to family who invites themselves

[PurpleTurtle]

I heartily agree! Last time we went (June 2008) was the first time we went alone, and it was WONDERFUL. I came back SO rested and my mind was completely reset. Now, my DMIL moved to FL since then, so she and her new DH will be with us for a few days this time. I hope we do well ;-)

 

[mousefanmichelle]

The problem with family going is that they think they are in control! 2 years ago I planned a trip with just my kids and I. My dsis invited herself and her son.

We drove from MI to FL and that was a heck of a drive lemmetellyou. My dsis couldn't drive she had a full blown panic attack on the highway... i drove 18 hours straight... ugh....

We stayed off site and she took over the master bedroom with her son leaving me - the one who planned the trip - to the sofa couch. After the fireworks at the MK my dson wanted to do some shopping on Main Street and my dsis all but ran to beat the crowds out of the park. My son was so mad at her for the rest of the trip - cuz we only had that 1 day at the park. Eyeyeyey.... This next trip in April - I am telling no one about cuz no one is not going to crash my trip!!!!

Good luck - just try to get away for a little while if you can!!!

 

[TheRustyScupper]

Have you tried leaving earlier and going to a different park than them?

 

[kressfamily]

When we have others tagging along. I just plan the heck out of the trip and give them a written agenda and food ressie times. I tell them this is what our family is doing you are welcome to join us for any or all of it.

 

[KimK2006]

These posts make me feel lucky! When my parents go with us, they are happy to be invited, pay their own way (and sometimes buy our dinner), follow whatever plan we work out, etc. They are just happy to be there enjoying their grandkids. These horror stories would make me DREAD going to WDW!

 

[Iluvmickeymouse!]

I am sorry it is not working out for you. We just did a ten day trip with my Dsis, Dbil and two nephews in early Dec. Other than a few "I want my mommy" crying moments from my 4 yr old nephew, we had a great time. In fact there has been discussion about going back in three years..them, us, his parents (dbil's) and my mom. We are looking forward to it!!! I know, we're wierd!!! lol I hope your day at AK went well. Maybe you can sneak off by yourselves somewhere tonight. Good Luck!

 

[ICan'tWait]

The major problem with my Mom is that she just wouldn't understand Disney's policies on room occupancy. She went to the beach last year and crammed 9 people into a single hotel room. (I wasn't there, thank heavens!) For her, everything is the more the merrier, and she doesn't seem to realize that if you have more people you have more opinions and it becomes more difficult to make everyone happy, not impossible, but difficult.

Yep, that's my MIL to a T. Even with car trips.... "Why would we take two cars?" when we can all "cram" into a minivan....

 

[medicjch]

You all are scaring me! We had BIL and SIL at our house last weekend and were talking about our upcoming trip, they are thinking about joining us! The good part is that we all get along pretty well and their kids are well behaved. If they do end up going I will tell them "here is our plan, if you want to folllow along....great." My family will have a good time regardless.

 

[Virtucomp]

I cannot imagine inviting myself in on someone else's vacation. Once a long time ago my sister was going at the same time as my wife and I. They were driving we were flying. She asked me one day if we minded driving down with them since she did not want to drive the camper. It saved us a lot of money and helped them with the driving.

Once we were there everyone did their own thing, together some days and apart others. Neither family expected the other to do their plans.

If you're spending all the money to go on your vacation you should feel no obligation to walk around and do their events and plans. Just find our what parks they want to go to for the day and them pick another. Do your thing since it's your money.

 

[Mel6197]

We used to try to do the family things, We had 26 go one year. And we have done it for at least 3 trips, and as the trips go on more and more people get put on the BANNED list.
First was a Sister who was a Crazy nut.
Next was a Aunt who decided to take her grandkids with us, and then she wanted to hang out with her sister (my mom) and leave the grandkids for me to watch BANNED!!
Some Fla family that likes to come for the day, but take hours BANNED
the list goes on and on.
Right now for this year its me and my family and my other sister and her family (the main 8 of us have been going for 8 years now, and it works great with us.

Everyone else in the family is BANNED, I need my disney trip to be not stressful and family = stress

 

[bas71873]

These posts make me feel lucky! When my parents go with us, they are happy to be invited, pay their own way (and sometimes buy our dinner), follow whatever plan we work out, etc. They are just happy to be there enjoying their grandkids. These horror stories would make me DREAD going to WDW!

This is EXACTLY how MY parents are. They just go with the flow and if they want time alone, the go do their own thing and if DH and I want some adult time, they are happy to take DD. Now my in-laws are another issue completely and I know I'm going to be hearing about it when they hear we are going back in October. So far I haven't said anything because I haven't booked anything yet (waiting to have my taxes done first ) and I am going to really try to keep my mouth shut, but either way, if they find out before or after the trip, the guilt trip about not inviting them (which always comes with my annoying nephew) will last for MONTHS!

 

[KimK2006]

This is EXACTLY how MY parents are. They just go with the flow and if they want time alone, the go do their own thing and if DH and I want some adult time, they are happy to take DD. Now my in-laws are another issue completely and I know I'm going to be hearing about it when they hear we are going back in October. So far I haven't said anything because I haven't booked anything yet (waiting to have my taxes done first ) and I am going to really try to keep my mouth shut, but either way, if they find out before or after the trip, the guilt trip about not inviting them (which always comes with my annoying nephew) will last for MONTHS!

My in-laws live in The Villages, about an hour north of WDW. Out of our probably 15-20 trips, they have only once come and met us, and that was only for dinner...but I am good with that! I am sure my FIL would drive me crazy within an hour!

 

[vettechick99]

My SIL knows how much I love Disney and has asked us a few times to plan a joint trip. I flat out tell her that I don't vacation with other families at WDW because I did once and it didn't work out. Why is it so hard to just tell people no thanks, end of story?

 

[bas71873]

Why is it so hard to just tell people no thanks, end of story?

Because for whatever reason, my MIL has this great way of laying on a THICK guilt trip and then does so for months on end. It's subtle and probably not obvious to everyone, but I know what she's doing. I still hear about their not being invited on our 2008 trip. And I hear it EVERY summer when we go to the beach with my parents. I told EVERYONE no last summer when we did Universal Studios and just went as a family, the 3 of us, and she still throws the digs around....we would have loved to have come, "nephew" loves US/IOA and we would have brought him (it's the only way he vacations because his mother can't afford to do anything for him). I just can't handle being around them for extended periods of time....and DH feels the same way and it's HIS family.

 

[Rip]

Because for whatever reason, my MIL has this great way of laying on a THICK guilt trip and then does so for months on end. It's subtle and probably not obvious to everyone, but I know what she's doing. I still hear about their not being invited on our 2008 trip. And I hear it EVERY summer when we go to the beach with my parents. I told EVERYONE no last summer when we did Universal Studios and just went as a family, the 3 of us, and she still throws the digs around....we would have loved to have come, "nephew" loves US/IOA and we would have brought him (it's the only way he vacations because his mother can't afford to do anything for him). I just can't handle being around them for extended periods of time....and DH feels the same way and it's HIS family.

Ask her what's stopping her.

I feel for y'all, luckily I don't have to worry about anyone inviting themselves, they know I'd tell them no if I hadn't invited them myself.

 

[vettechick99]

Because for whatever reason, my MIL has this great way of laying on a THICK guilt trip and then does so for months on end. It's subtle and probably not obvious to everyone, but I know what she's doing. I still hear about their not being invited on our 2008 trip. And I hear it EVERY summer when we go to the beach with my parents. I told EVERYONE no last summer when we did Universal Studios and just went as a family, the 3 of us, and she still throws the digs around....we would have loved to have come, "nephew" loves US/IOA and we would have brought him (it's the only way he vacations because his mother can't afford to do anything for him). I just can't handle being around them for extended periods of time....and DH feels the same way and it's HIS family.

Ummm, nightmare!!!!

 

[MHSweb79]

My in-laws live in The Villages, about an hour north of WDW. Out of our probably 15-20 trips, they have only once come and met us, and that was only for dinner...but I am good with that! I am sure my FIL would drive me crazy within an hour!

We have an aunt in the Villages, and we always tell everyone, "don't tell Auntie we're going to Disney!" Because she gets extremely hurt if we don't rent a car and spend half of our vacation at her house, and we all know that's just NOT what a Disney trip is all about!

As for extended family at the parks, we have gone several times when friends and/ or families are there for overlapping days. We all agree to go our own way and meet up for meals, shows or sometimes half-days at the parks. That's because some of us are morning EMH people while others are night owls, some love thrill rides only and others like nothing better than to spend loop after loop on the People Mover (OK, that one's me...); you get the idea. That way nobody is holding anyone back and nobody has time to get on your nerves. The best way to handle tagalongs is to get the ground rules very clear in advance. If you can intimidate them with your commando plan into staying home, all the better.

As for the MIL who crams 20 people into a single hotel room, it's not a policy issue but a fire safety issue. Disney, and any other hotel for that matter, needs to know exactly who is in every room, every day. Do you really want to risk a life - maybe your own children? - to save a few bucks on a hotel room?

 

[Monny2AE]

What a great thread!
Our last 2 trips have been with my sister and her family and my parents. They aren't horrible to travel with and we did go on our own for some of hte parks but it's still less fun than if it were DH, me and my 2 kids alone. It's hard coordinating everything. Even worse last time was that our room at CBR was connected to my parents. Let's just say that DH was less than thrilled. My parents wanted the pass through door open so my kids could run through all the time.

We leave in a couple weeks and I am SOOOO looking forward to this trip being just my little family. I told DH we could go this Jan knowing no one would ask to tag along because my parents just came back from a cruise and my sister already booked a ski vacation OR we could risk going next year and having them want to tag along and having to hurt feelings by telling them no. It got to me Disney that much sooner!

May your next trip to the World be ALONE!!!!!

 

[KimK2006]

As for extended family at the parks, we have gone several times when friends and/ or families are there for overlapping days. We all agree to go our own way and meet up for meals, shows or sometimes half-days at the parks. That's because some of us are morning EMH people while others are night owls, some love thrill rides only and others like nothing better than to spend loop after loop on the People Mover (OK, that one's me...); you get the idea. That way nobody is holding anyone back and nobody has time to get on your nerves. The best way to handle tagalongs is to get the ground rules very clear in advance. If you can intimidate them with your commando plan into staying home, all the better.

My in-laws are great, but our COMMANDO style would not fit with them. You are right...if someone invites themselves on your trip and you can't tell them "no", let them know your plans. Tell them if they want to tour with you, that is what you are doing. If not, you can meet for lunch/dinner/snack. We have had several friends frusterated b/c they had family who they traveled with who wouldn't be ready by the agreed upon morning time. We make sure and tell family/friends we will be at the bus stop at a certain time. If you aren't there, call when you get to the park and we will tell you where we are. Unfortunately, we have probably already done the ride you are wanting to do first...

 

[bas71873]

Ummm, nightmare!!!!

You got it . They mean well, treat my DD like gold, help us out when/if we need it (they helped me out a lot this summer when we bought a foreclosure and had lots of painting, carpeting, etc. to do), but it comes at a price. They like, no love, to be NEEDED and DEPENDED on and my SIL is great with that. The support her financially and they had custody of her kid for 4 years, so they are all in her business and DH and I have decided that it drives them bananas that we take care of ourselves and they don't know all of our business; financial and otherwise. It's a control thing I think. But her guilt trips are brutal and I take it personally and have a tough time letting it go (which I need to get over)!