Help my Dh died.(Updated again post #218)

[chloe770]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I agree with pp you should wait until after the funeral to make any decisions about your trip. Embrace your family and friends and the right answer will come to you.

 

[mom23boys]

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.

 

[Katiebell]

I saw the title of this thread, and it just broke my heart. I am so, so, sorry to hear of your loss, and you and your family will be in my prayers.

I feel so much for your littlest one. My father died the month before I turned 6. I grew up in Los Angeles, and have wonderful memories of going to DL with him.

Talk to your girls, your folks, your MIL. Trust your heart -- the trip could be very good for everyone, positive and uplifting, or it may just be too soon, and you could call Disney and see what can be done to reschedule, maybe in a couple of months.

Take care of yourself and your kids, and please let us know how you are all doing.

 

[TinaLala]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathy goes out to your family at this time.

I would say go and make a special moment when you're at Disney to memorialize your loved one. Wouldn't he want you to go?

My fil was very ill and we decided to book a Disney trip for the family. Unfortunately he passed away before we got to go, but we all got together one night and had a special moment and talked about him and thought about him. It made it special for all of us.

If you don't go it might cause more of a sadness in the children then just the death. You could make a memory for them about your loved one using Disney and make it positive for them that he's passed.

 

[SueM in MN]

So sorry about your loss.

Whether you go now or postpone the trip, your first trip without DH is going to have some difficulties. My FIL died suddenly in June of 2006; when it came time for our Spring 2007 trip, no one was sure how things would go because we had gone with them for many years and WDW was a special place for our family. Going was difficult because it brought memories and "wouldn't Grandpa like this" thoughts from everyone. But, it was a very healing thing to do.

I agree with the others that you should wait a few days to decide. I realize you don't have too long before you were scheduled to go, but you need to at least have time to breathe before you can even think.

 

[Picabo]

I am So So sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to imagine what you must be going through. My heart goes out to you.

In regards to the Disney trip....honestly, I think I would still go. I think it would be important for the kids mostly, but also good for you. I know it would not be the SAME without your dear husband there with you, however I think it would show the kids that their lives still need to go on and it would give them some distraction from their tragic loss. Perhaps if there are days you don't feel up to touring the parks, some of the relatives would be able to take them off yourhands for the day while you get some down time to yourself?

You need to do what is best for you and your family and since I don't know you, it's hard to say. If it were just ME I'd probably not go. But I just imagine that thekids would be heartbroken to loose their Disney trip in addition to the huge loss they've already had. Perhaps Disney would be good for the souls?

Again, I'm sooo sorry and please know my thoughts/prayers are with you and your family!

melanie

 

[Disney1976]

I am very sorry for your loss.

 

[twoeeyy]

All of you DIS friends are thinking and praying for you during your time of loss and sorrow.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

[DisneydaveCT]

My and I were very saddened to read about your sudden loss.

We talked about how we would handle your question. Our advice is to go forward with the trip. It will help remind your daughters that despite losing someone they love very much, that the best way to honor his memory is to continue living.

Before I met my she had planned to take her two DD's to WDW while visiting her mother in FL. Unfortunately, right before the trip, her mother passed away unexpectedly. Even though they were experiencing a great loss, my decided to take her DD's to WDW without their grandmother present. She said it was a great opportunity for her family to begin healing.

Last year, my father past away just a few months before my parents 50th anniversary. At the time of his death, we had a trip planned to celebrate their 50th anniversary at Hilton Head. Outside of WDW, HH was one of my Dad's favorite vacation spots for golfing. After he died, my Mom said we should continue with the trip. It turned out to be a very special trip, full of memories that we will carry for the rest of our lives. And we could truly feel my Dad's presence during that trip.

In the end, we all deal with our grief differently. As you prepare for the week ahead, keep your daughters close. Together you will find the strength to decide how to being healing as a family and how to celebrate you DD's 6th birthday.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I'm so sorry. Love and prayers go out to you and your family.

I don't know what to tell you about your trip. Only you can know when you will be ready for a vacation. We all deal with grief differently and what ever your decision will be, it will be the right one for you.

 

[wall*e2008]

I am so sorry about your loss. I have no idea what I would do in your situation.

 

[triplet_mom_2001]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine your sense of shock. My suggestion would be to only make decisions that you have to. Take things one minute, one hour or one day at a time, but don't put pressure on yourself that you don't have to.

Lisa

 

[nannerbadnanner]

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for you and your children.

 

[DisneyMum4]

I have to say that my heart is breaking for you and your loss. I cna not imagine what you are going through. My DH is also my soulmate and we have been married almost 24 years. I talked with him and our children about what they would want to do should we have this same thing happen. We all agreed even though the trip may be hard that we would want the others to go as it will help the family heal and reconnect as a family. I am sure that you are faced with many months of healing and will experience many emotions. I hope that you are able to make the decision that is best for all of you.

I know that God will bring you through this. I will continue to lift you and your family up.

D'Anne

 

[DisOrBust]

Thank you all it helps. I am in the throws of funneral planning trying very hard not to have a "funeral in a box". I just didn't think it would be this hard. If I can do it I think I will take the girls by myself they are so wrecked right now seeing their father die in front of them. I am most worried about my youngest, she is shell shocked. Going from sobs to laughing to make mom feel better

 

[jtopp]

Prayers and condolences to you and your family

 

[wilderness01]

I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.

 

[weesignlanguage]

Just prayed for you...I hope you feel God's presence as you deal with your family situation...God bless and HUGS!

 

[ALittleDisneyFan]

I am so very sorry to hear this...

As far as your trip goes.. I was 13 when my Dad passed away and my mom took us to Disney roughly 3 months later. I won't lie, it was a very hard trip. We had taken previous trips with my Dad so there were a lot of memories. My mother broke down regularly - which was hard on my brother (9) and I...

Ultimately it will be your decision, just know that it will be a hard one.

Thinking of you and your children at this time.