Has anyone lied to their kid's school about being sick for Disney?

[MockingBird2003]

First let me clarify that we do value education and don't pull our kids out of school for just any reason.

Last year I had to travel to Orlando for work and took my kid to Disney with us for a week. I was honest with the teacher ahead of time and was told not a problem have a great time.

Well then weeks later we get a letter saying we are in violation of attendance policy and could be prosecuted. The school district does not allow vacations and travel.

So now this year I have to go the same trip again and rather than being honest about it with the school I was just going to mark my kid sick. I feel so guilty though because I'm a terrible liar and I'm afraid the teacher will judge us and worse my child. However the whole family is really looking forward to this week and an extra day of family time and we really cherish the memories that we will make.

Any opinions?

 

[Einstein509]

We used to take ours out every year. For us the price gouging for airline travel, rental cars, etc. during holidays and spring break was just ridiculous so we found weeks where there was a day or two off from school anyway (teacher workdays, etc.).

The other option was to travel a little earlier or stay a little later than the actual days off, to again, avoid the price gouging.

We get the same message/warnings from the school district and we just ignore them. I seriously doubt they have the time/effort to prosecute a parent who takes their kid out of school for a week. With all that said, I say go for it.

If you feel that telling them your kid is sick to avoid the stigma is good, then do it, but then again comes the stigma of lying about it. So honestly, it's whatever you feel comfortable with.

 

[leannak]

They are your children. They do not belong to the school. They do not belong to the state. You are the parent.

That being said, you are their parent and you are responsible for teaching your children to be honorable. Please do not lie. And absolutely do not expect your children to help you lie. No week at Disney is worth the lifelong lesson you will impart upon them.

 

[EACarlson]

I just told this story in another thread, but it fits very well here also.

In my view, the school district lost all right to complain about me taking my kids out of school for something in March of 2020. On March 10th I got a letter from the district telling me how important it was for kids to have in school instruction and how much they missed even if they made up the work at home. Three days later they sent my 2nd grader and Pre-Ker home for the remainder of the school year. We had taken them out for a week to go WDW, had kept them home when they had the "Flu," a week after we got back, (it very well may have been COVID, but nobody knew anything about COVID then) and were planning on taking them to Dallas for a few days to see family.

Was actually just having this conversation with my wife last night. We are discussing her taking the kids to Dallas to visit family and see the eclipse in April. If the kids are not struggling and don't fall behind, then it shouldn't be a problem.

In almost all major cities the authorities are not prosecuting actual crimes with victims, no chance they are willing to risk the humiliation of prosecuting parents that take their kids out of school to go to Disney. The ridicule they would face online and in the media they won't want to subject themselves to.

 

[jo-jo]

I do not understand the if you take your child out, you may get prosecuted. Now if you did it once a month , skipping a few days, that’s different.

I would not say child is sick. It put the child in the middle. Teacher may say glad you’re better, what was wrong, etc.

When my kids were young, 35 years ago, there was a month long teachers strike. Because on this , the days around Christmas and new years were canceled. I went to the principal and said, my DH alwaya puts in for those two weeks off and it’s a very family time. I won’t be sending in the kids. The principal said “I don’t blame you”. The end.

 

[EACarlson]

Check your state laws. This is the relevant subsection in WI law: Any child excused in writing by his or her parent or guardian before the absence. The school board shall require a child excused under this paragraph to complete any course work missed during the absence. A child may not be excused for more than 10 days in a school year under this paragraph.

That is 10 school days pre planned. This does not count actual sick days or other emergencies.

 

[saraheliz]

Most schools have a form letter they *have* to send in specific instances (certain number of absences, unexcused absences, etc). FWIW all of our absences are unexcused unless they are on a school trip, have a doctor's note or a positive Covid test (and even with a positive Covid test, if you still feel like crap on day 6 it becomes unexcused). It's irrelevant until you get to day 9-10 per semester- I'm obviously not taking my kids to the doctor every time they have a tummy bug or bad cold that keeps them out for a day or two.

The only legitimate issue you may run into is the willingness of the school to let your kids make up the work. At our high school, "excused" absences have more leeway and time to make work up than unexcused.

I would not lie or ask your kids to lie. I would weigh the positives and negatives and make your decision as a family and go from there. Just know the older they get, the harder this will be. It is really hard for kids in high school, especially depending on their course load, to make up multiple days of absences. As long as their attendance isn't an issue otherwise, nobody is going to come after you.

 

[snowwite]

I’ve taken them out but never lied not would I have asked the kids to lie. They will be excited and it will be pretty hard to pretend they were sick.
We got the school work and made it up.
my daughter had a French teacher who said her assignment was to get the menus in Epcot France pavilion and translate them. She got bonus points for also getting a flag and some others stuff.
She did a report on Walt Disney as well.
My son was in elementary school so we just had to make up homework (which I absolutely think is not necessary) and take a missed quiz when we got back.

 

[lanejudy]

I absolutely would not lie about it. Number one -- what does that teach your kids? That you can lie if you don't like the consequences of telling the truth. That will backfire on you as the parent at some point, at which point you'll need to recognize that you taught them that behavior.

Number two -- if you lie about it, that means your kids will have to lie. Asking a child to not ever mention a vacation is simply asking for trouble or creates anxiety/stress for the kid. How long does the lie continue? It goes beyond the immediate return to school. Two months down the road and your kid offhand mentions something about seeing Mickey, and the teacher says "oh that sounds fun! how old were you?" and suddenly - uh oh, now the child is afraid to answer. Plus a "sick" excuse for x number of days may require a doctor's note.

Make the decision that is right for your family and own that decision. Accept the extra homework, AND accept the kid may receive a "0" on a quiz or two, especially as they get older. Missed school for vacation in early elementary school is a lot easier than middle school or high school.

 

[Suzabella]

I wouldn't lie about it. Be honest. What kid won't go back to school and talk about the great trip they just took? The lesson you teach by telling the truth is an important one.

The response we got from the teachers when we took our kids out for a trip was...can I go with you? As they grew up and moved on to higher grades, that option was off the table. They don't miss much in elementary school but in Jr. High and HS, it gets harder to catch up to what they learned in the class room and their grades were relevant to college admissions.

 

[sponica]

OP: I'm betting your school is funded by the state on a per pupil per day rate. States that are per pupil per day tend to have districts with stricter attendance policies because if kids are out, they don't get paid.

I wouldn't lie but I do think you need to look into what the handbook states and what the references to the pertinent part of the state codes around education funding are.

Now if your state funds based on average attendance at one point in time, then you might have some leeway to argue?

Honestly schools are so regionally different in administration, what works in my district won't work in yours. Heck, it won't even necessarily work in the town neighboring mine we're so home rule...

 

[Ursula J]

I’ve taken them out but never lied not would I have asked the kids to lie. They will be excited and it will be pretty hard to pretend they were sick.
We got the school work and made it up.
my daughter had a French teacher who said her assignment was to get the menus in Epcot France pavilion and translate them. She got bonus points for also getting a flag and some others stuff.
She did a report on Walt Disney as well.
My son was in elementary school so we just had to make up homework (which I absolutely think is not necessary) and take a missed quiz when we got back.

The French assignment? This is the way things used to be (sorry to be that gal lol). Teachers were able to adapt to create learning experiences. I remember being pulled out of school to go Hawaii for a week to spend time with family that had moved there when I was too young to remember. I came home and did a presentation to my 5th grade class on Hawaiian islander foods and crafts. When I went to Florida, I made a travel brochure for the spots I visited.
Teachers now (I'm a community college prof, and I count myself as a teacher) usually have so little room for flexibility and creativity. It's a horrible time to be a teacher. Schools are obsessed with test scores and attendance data. Data = funding. Data above all. Ok, rant over.
Go in prepared to tell the school that your child will be missing school for x days and it's a family matter. Since when do they get to monitor your location? And it's not a lie! It's a family matter.
No one regrets taking time with their kids; no one grows up and thinks "If only I hadn't missed that week of 7th grade..."
My daughter is missing a week of 11th grade. We told them over a year ago and said "18 months should be sufficient notice to avoid disruption." Teachers were happy for her (and jealous!), admin was grumpy but unable to do anything.

 

[DL1WDW2]

I recall the really strict rules for a family wanting to take a school age child at the very beginning of school year And this child received government assistance … I think they are really strict about certain rules
. Sorry I don’t remember any of the details, etc. but something to be aware of .

 

[ElenaRN]

We take our kids out every year for vacation. We never lie and say they are sick. We say they will be away from this date to this date and will make up all work. Anyway, unless its a surprise to the kids, I'm sure they have already told everyone they are going to Disney.
The school doesn't allow assignments to be given ahead of time. When they were younger we could usually just do the next pages in each subjects workbooks, but that's gotten harder as they've gotten older and they don't have workbooks anymore. So usually its a ton of work to make up upon return.

But I agree with a PP. Back in 2021, when school was "back" after quarantine, the school wanted them to stay home for any little sniffle, or runny nose. Forget it if you could have possibly come into contact with someone who could possibly have had covid. They would miss a week and not ever test positive. Not saying I didn't understand the reasoning for those strict policies. Just saying it made me view missing school differently.

 

[SteveH]

Don't lie, own it. Just tell the teachers your kids will be away from x date to x date.

Your kids are 100% yours not owned by the school or the State. If you want to get snarky remind them how your kids adapted during Covid, they can learn to adapt now too.

If your kids are doing well i school take the trip, enjoy life. If your kids are not, then get them in gear and get grades up before they go. If you can make up some assignments, great. Don't expect your teacher to do additional work though, not fair to them. But as a parent make parts of the trip educational and life learning experiences. If you get a threaten letter toss it in the garbage, because that's all it is.

 

[HopperFan]

Every district and every state attendance and funding rules vary.

Our state vacation is an unexcused absence and at 5 days you can be reported for truancy. For schools who are financially penalized for unexcused absences they might be less likely to work with you costing them money. Some schools unexcused is a hard 0 on all assignments with no opportunity to make it up. Teachers mostly have no control on the outcome so likely admins need to be involved.

All boils down to how your local school handles your state's rules. It really doesn't matter what anyone's opinion here is, doesn't matter what happened three years ago, no one's business how you parent. What matters is what your district rules are, and if and how you are prepared to deal with the rules and consequences.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

During the summer, the HS principal sends out emails. He kept saying that a new, stricter attendance policy was coming. My daughters HS attendance policy has always been strict in my opinion but they have managed to make it even more strict. But this doesn't come from the HS level, it's the county/state level. Policy for us is if there are 10 unexcused absences, you'll be directed to the school social worker. She will work with parents and students to "get you back on track." If this doesn't work or problem still exists, it goes to the court. If my daughter misses 3 or more days of school due to illness, a doctor's note is required. If I bring her to school late or take her out early for a doctor's appointment, a doctor's note is required. If note not given, all unexcused absences. One of the new rules is if my daughter is out of school for the day, sickness/family emergency....something that will be an excused absence, she must contact all her teachers that she is out and ask what did she miss and make it up. A friend of mine took her 2 boys (pre K and second grade) out of school a couple of days early before Thanksgiving because of long road trip. She received a letter from the school and she had to show up at the school board. In saying all this I'd just say to make sure your school's (county/state) policy. We haven't taken our daughter out of school for vacations. But especially now in HS, just not happening. Even my daughter has said "no vacations when I'm in school." She's afraid of missing too much, making up what she missed and catching up. And she's a straight A student.

 

[snowwite]

The French assignment? This is the way things used to be (sorry to be that gal lol). Teachers were able to adapt to create learning experiences. I remember being pulled out of school to go Hawaii for a week to spend time with family that had moved there when I was too young to remember. I came home and did a presentation to my 5th grade class on Hawaiian islander foods and crafts. When I went to Florida, I made a travel brochure for the spots I visited.
Teachers now (I'm a community college prof, and I count myself as a teacher) usually have so little room for flexibility and creativity. It's a horrible time to be a teacher. Schools are obsessed with test scores and attendance data. Data = funding. Data above all. Ok, rant over.
Go in prepared to tell the school that your child will be missing school for x days and it's a family matter. Since when do they get to monitor your location? And it's not a lie! It's a family matter.
No one regrets taking time with their kids; no one grows up and thinks "If only I hadn't missed that week of 7th grade..."
My daughter is missing a week of 11th grade. We told them over a year ago and said "18 months should be sufficient notice to avoid disruption." Teachers were happy for her (and jealous!), admin was grumpy but unable to do anything.

My kids are now 31 and 34 so it’s definitely how things used to be but I was hoping it had not changed all that much. Ugh. Data and standardized tests are not teaching. The best teachers I had and that my kids had were those brilliant, creative souls. My son has a learning disability and he had a teacher who discovered his love of computers. She taught him how to use power point well before I learned it and allowed him to create presentations rather than traditional reports. Now we are just making every square peg fit into the same round hole. Your frustration tells me you are one of the good ones!

 

[Dakota731]

This question reminds me of years ago when my kids and I went with my friend and her kids to a local amusement park. My friend wanted to save the adult fee for her son so she lied about his age. Well being the honest little boy he was he piped up and said “no I’m not Mom, you know I’m nine”. The cashier was not amused, and my friend was embarrassed and had to pay the adult price for her son. That day just reinforced my belief that if we teach our kids to lie for our benefit, then they will most certainly lie for theirs later in life.

 

[Lumpy1106]

Agree with @EACarlson above. I do not care 2 wits about the school funding. They sent all the kids home for 2 years and just jimmied the rules during that time so that they could still get their funding. I pulled DD out 2 separate weeks to tour colleges and her younger sister took last Friday off so we could take an educational trip to the State Capitol and some museums in Sacramento. I did not ask, but I did tell them in advance.

ONE WARNING!
Just like the awful on-line learning, the homework does not take a pause. Your kids will still have to complete the work, study for tests, complete assignments etc, just like if they were sitting in class. Be prepared to help them keep up.

Otherwise...
HAVE FUN!