First time going without second parent

[kohlby]

We've taken our kids to Disney several times - we go about every 2-3 years. It looks like my husband won't be able to go for most of our next trip. My kids are past the stroller age though I have one with sensory issues and another with some anxiety issues so it's not without challenges despite not being little kids. Any tips for touring with kids with just one parent? They're all at least 48" and the eldest is 13 so he can help out. We will be staying at POR for that part of our trip. (Husband will be at work during the day and hopefully will be able to meet up with us some. It's a new job so I have no clue what his schedule will be like).

 

[powellrj]

If you are worried, could you stay at the hotel with the kids at the pool and wait until your husband could join you?

 

[kohlby]

If you are worried, could you stay at the hotel with the kids at the pool and wait until your husband could join you?

No. He'll be at work all day. I'm hoping he can join us in the evenings. Also - it's not so much that I'm worried as I've never done it before without him. So, hoping to get some tips from others. Or reassurance that it's no big deal. (Plus, the pool could actually be worse as one child has sensory issues and can't swim and another thinks she can swim a lot better than she can and thinks it's fun to push herself as she goes under).

 

[roseaster]

How old are they, and how many?

I've traveled with 5 alone and 2 were still in diapers.

 

[kohlby]

How old are they, and how many?

I've traveled with 5 alone and 2 were still in diapers.

7, 10, and 13 but the 7 year old is a very timid child and has sensory issues. He's run off before because something has freaked him out. We do have noise-reducing headphones that I will bring. The 10 year old has some anxiety issues. Our last Disney trip was two years ago and we were "that" family due to her a few times. It was good that I could tend to her while husband kept an eye on the youngest. So, though they're not little kids, it's not without challenges. I still won't take them to the zoo without my husband as it's simply no fun. But - they're much more interested in going to Disney than the zoo so that should help.

 

[Deb & Bill]

Why not just wait until your husband can join the family?

 

[jevs]

As a sole parent I travel (from Australia) with my kids all of the time. Mine are now 13, 10, 10 but we started doing overseas trips when the youngest were 7. Probably the best tip I was given when I was planning the first trip was to make it clear it was a family trip and everyone gets a choice in what we do. The second tip is to have some downtime everyday - letting off steam at a park, beach, or in the pool.

Don't be worried about being the only adult at Disney as people will help if needed, my boys were spending a long time in the bathroom once and a woman noticed me standing looking concerned so sent her husband in to find out what the hold up was. Gotta love the Disney good vibes

 

[henry72]

What helps my son who has some anxiety issues is to have a job. He loves maps so his job is to find the best way to go. Plus knowing what we are doing in advance helps out a lot. Even if we have been before, I like to remind him about the rides and that he liked it. (Works best for Splash, SM, BTMRR and stuff like that.) And I agree with the PP about letting them realize this is a group endeavor and that they may need to do some activities for their siblings but they will all get a chance at picking what they like.

My only other tip is to not worry to much and enjoy the trip! I would so go with out DH in a heartbeat.

 

[roseaster]

7, 10, and 13 but the 7 year old is a very timid child and has sensory issues. He's run off before because something has freaked him out. We do have noise-reducing headphones that I will bring. The 10 year old has some anxiety issues. Our last Disney trip was two years ago and we were "that" family due to her a few times. It was good that I could tend to her while husband kept an eye on the youngest. So, though they're not little kids, it's not without challenges. I still won't take them to the zoo without my husband as it's simply no fun. But - they're much more interested in going to Disney than the zoo so that should help.

Will the 7 year old tolerate a stroller? I know kids with sensory issues sometimes do better if they can "remove" themselves from the stimulation.

Normally, I would say use the buddy system. I would, usually pair an older one with a younger one, but I'm not sure if there are 2 kids that are going to be prone to behavioral issues if I would expect that level of responsibility from a 13 year old.

I would do a lot of online research, watch You Tube videos of rides and shows so that they know what to expect.

Maybe set some sort of goal or reward? Something simple like an ice cream or a late night dip in the pool, or some sort of treat if they can "keep it together" in the park?

I also know that at times my oldest 2 shouldered a lot of responsibility and were huge helps. I made sure that I very quietly "thanked" them for being such a big help. In this case I bought them Dooney Disney purses and put a small note in them thanking them for being so mature and helpful.

Make sure if you oldest is a big help that he knows it.

 

[kohlby]

Why not just wait until your husband can join the family?

He will be at work all day. I have no idea what time he will be able to join us - or if my younger two will be done and need to relax in the room by then. We planned this trip before he got this job. The tickets are group tickets tied to an educational program for a very specific date range, so we can't hang on to these tickets until he can take a vacation. Luckily, the job he got is in Orlando so we can go forward with our vacation. We are going to be moving after our vacation once our house is in order. Our kids have never moved and aren't happy about all the change about to take place. It's very important that we don't take away the vacation they had been looking forward to.

 

[kohlby]

Jevs - it's reassuring that you do it from Austraila!

Roseaster - the stroller helped a lot on our last trip when he was 5. We did Universal when he was 6 for two trips (10 days total) and he did fine without the stroller. I figure it will be easier on me not to have to worry about folding our bulky stroller and parking it. (Or retrieving it. I've found parking it is a lot easier than retrieving it). The 13 year old is very responsible usually. But, the last time I told him to watch his little brother while I took his sister to the bathroom, the 7 year old went missing. (He got scared and ran and hid. Luckily, it was in a small museum). Bribery can help the 7 year old at times, so that's in my plans. It cannot help the 10 year old though. I'll try giving her a job though. She might like the map job. She's on medication now and wasn't the last trip so hopefully it will be easier than last time. (Plus she's gone through four therapists since then and one may have even helped her some).

I wish I could count on others to be helpful. There were some people who tried to help. But the rude looks and even direct negative comments I was given due to my children struggling were plentiful.

 

[jevs]

Jevs - it's reassuring that you do it from Austraila!

Roseaster - the stroller helped a lot on our last trip when he was 5. We did Universal when he was 6 for two trips (10 days total) and he did fine without the stroller. I figure it will be easier on me not to have to worry about folding our bulky stroller and parking it. (Or retrieving it. I've found parking it is a lot easier than retrieving it). The 13 year old is very responsible usually. But, the last time I told him to watch his little brother while I took his sister to the bathroom, the 7 year old went missing. (He got scared and ran and hid. Luckily, it was in a small museum). Bribery can help the 7 year old at times, so that's in my plans. It cannot help the 10 year old though. I'll try giving her a job though. She might like the map job. She's on medication now and wasn't the last trip so hopefully it will be easier than last time. (Plus she's gone through four therapists since then and one may have even helped her some).

I wish I could count on others to be helpful. There were some people who tried to help. But the rude looks and even direct negative comments I was given due to my children struggling were plentiful.

Yeah unfortunately the perfect parents tend to make the most impact when you're struggling but I assure you for every one negative parent there are ten that understand

On our first trip I was nervous and very reluctant, I remember being on the flight coming over thinking WTH am I doing LOL. We had an amazing trip - not without a few hiccups as is expected and I came back positive and very empowered. I hope your trip turns out the same

 

[happymommy]

I started taking my kids without my DH when they were 4 and 6, and honestly, it was a lot of fun! Since then, he's been on roughly half of our trips to WDW.

I also flew alone with them when they were 3 months old and 2 years old, among other times.

My son has ADHD and was a handful, but a stroller can definitely help! I'd say go and bring a stroller!

 

[kwdw]

I think the best advice I can offer is to not plan too much in one day. Let the oldest one know that there's a level of responsibility expected from them. Stick to one park per day - and don't rush yourselves - plan reasonable times for you to get things done. I'd plan a TS lunch (non-character) - to give the whole group time to just stop and be a bit.

I wouldn't worry about being judged if you get a melt-down. It happens all the time at Disney. Most parents don't want help from a stranger - so generally people won't offer it because it's usually rejected or viewed suspiciously. So - if you really want/need it - you may need to ask for it. But those crap looks - just ignore them. They don't know your circumstances.

 

[100AcreWood]

I have three kids and my youngest has sensory issues as well. I would put the 13 year old in charge of watching the 10 year old leaving you to focus on the 7 year old (just to make sure the 10 year doesn't get lost). You could even take sensory breaks with the 7 year old on a bench while the two older kids go on a ride. I remember some trips I would sit on a bench and just let him play on the iPhone for 30 minutes. I'm sure I got some great stares from other people but it's what needed to be done at that moment.

You can do it! I think having the two older ones will make it totally doable.

 

[roseaster]

Jevs - it's reassuring that you do it from Austraila!

Roseaster - the stroller helped a lot on our last trip when he was 5. We did Universal when he was 6 for two trips (10 days total) and he did fine without the stroller. I figure it will be easier on me not to have to worry about folding our bulky stroller and parking it. (Or retrieving it. I've found parking it is a lot easier than retrieving it). The 13 year old is very responsible usually. But, the last time I told him to watch his little brother while I took his sister to the bathroom, the 7 year old went missing. (He got scared and ran and hid. Luckily, it was in a small museum). Bribery can help the 7 year old at times, so that's in my plans. It cannot help the 10 year old though. I'll try giving her a job though. She might like the map job. She's on medication now and wasn't the last trip so hopefully it will be easier than last time. (Plus she's gone through four therapists since then and one may have even helped her some).

I wish I could count on others to be helpful. There were some people who tried to help. But the rude looks and even direct negative comments I was given due to my children struggling were plentiful.

Ok. If the 7 year old responds to bribery, that might help LOL. I would also set a very firm rule with the 7 year old in that he must be holding your hand or the 13 year old's hand at all times when not on a ride or in a show.

I totally get you about the strollers. I am one of the few here on this board who want to dump stroller use ASAP. I've always found them more of a hindrance than a help.

I think giving the 10 year old a job is a good idea. Let her handle the map, and/or the WDW app. Let her check wait times and such. Maybe it will distract her.

I'm not terribly helpful as, even though I have a lot of kids, I don't have any with any type of sensory or anxiety issues. I just try to keep them corralled. It's like herding cats.

When they were younger I found matching or same colored t-shirts a help. Easier to find 5 purple shirts at once. (My 6th is still a baby) We also "counted off" before we moved on to another attraction.

We also had an all-in rule when they were little (the 1st 5 are 10-18 now) in that where one went, they all went. One person needed to go to the bathroom, everyone went.

I would still do a lot of planning. Buy one of the Disney for kids books for the 10 year old. Let her look at videos of the parks and the attractions so that she is prepared for what to expect. Is she able to verbalize when she is becoming more anxious? Maybe having a way to let you know when she is becoming overwhelmed so that you can take a break?

Go slow. Plan to take breaks and down time. Try to find quieter places to sit and have a snack. Try to find places to have meals that may not be crazy busy or loud so that you can relax and regroup. Follow their cues. If they need to sleep in don't be commando about getting to rope drop. If they are tired or overwhelmed, be ready to call it a day, or head back to the room for a nap.

I found that when my kids were getting to be a bit much we did some of the slower, quieter things. TTA, a monorail ride, Hall of Presidents Tom Sawyer's Island, the train, Living with the Land, the boat ride in Mexico.

 

[DisneyWishes14]

I travel alone with DS8 a lot, but it's just him and me, which is nothing like traveling with 3 children. My DS also has anxiety and sensory issues as well as some other diagnoses. I try to keep our schedule as loose as possible and we typically only spend a half day in a park and only hit 3 or 4 attractions. His favorite park is EP because he would much rather spend time in the aquarium or doing the games at the end of Spaceship Earth than actually riding a ride. We also get a DAS for him, which you may want to consider. If you go to the DISabilities forum on these boards, you will get a lot of info on the DAS. My advice would be to take it easy, be flexible and be willing to bail the park and go back to the resort to relax if need be. Perhaps even consider alternate activities if the parks get too much. Mini-golf, walking around the Boardwalk, etc.

 

[happymommy]

I agree about the DAS! Years ago, we got it for our son. Now my DD is in a wheelchair at Disney, and yes I still go without my husband. And I get one for her. She does slow me and us down, but I wouldn't trade it for the world!

I do think a stroller is essential. I didn't know why I needed one for my daughter as she got older, but now I do (she has EDS, a genetic syndrome).

I don't see how this is an issue really. I met a super lovely mom my age with a daughter 2 years younger than mine who has EDS and a younger girl with Retts (wheelchair bound mostly) and she didn't have any help. Heck, you can do this! Don't let anything keep you in a hotel room! That would be silly!

 

[Sagginit]

My parents divorced when I was 8 and my first two trips to WDW were just my father, brother, and me. Overall they had to stop splitting into one parent/one child. This meant they had to plan things out as when things were not it could lead to lots of bickering or tantrums. I would think ahead of time of what rides to include, shows, and anything you need to avoid to appease one of the children. This also could help you get the buy in of all your children that this is something that is more like team work, everyone is picking the rides/shows and then you are going to try to achieve everything you mapped out. Also plan for what you want to do if a melt down happens. Find a quiet bench and wait it out, leave the park, let your oldest child take the other child on a ride or two while you wait it out with the child having the melt down? Think about what will change in your touring style and explain this ahead of time so no one is disappointed.

I agree with the buddy system as well. At least if you get separated you will be in pairs vs a child alone. I also would for that reason have a solid plan of what to do if you do split up for any reason. I went to DL with my husband last fall and half the time we split to go to the restrooms I had a hard time finding him as there are a million other people waiting to meet up in the same spot. Think about times/places you could lose a child and again have a plan. Go to less crowded restrooms if possible and skip parades if too crowded etc.

Also as others said look into what resources are available to help you. If one child doesn't want to go on a ride for instance, can the child wait at the exit for a few minutes by themselves, how can FP+ help you cut down on wait times to help with your two younger children managing the day etc

 

[milza26]

You can do this! Your kids are a good age even with their quirks. I took my DS 11 for our first solo trip when he was 9. He has Anxiety and Asperger's and found staying at POFQ was amazing. It was helpful to stay at a resort that we were familiar with after staying once with grandmom and watching tons of youtube videos. We knew what to expect from rides and avoided the scary ones. My advice is take tons of breaks, eat breakfast, and drink water. Things were worse when him or I were tried or hungry. Enjoy the time with your kids and remember you can do this! Plus it might be easier because you are the sole point of authority.