47% of adults claim they don't have $400 for an emergency?

[RedAngie]

If the article is infuriating, I won't bother reading it.

So how much did this daughter's wedding cost? Enough to wipe out his entire 401k retirement savings? Something tells me he'd never survive more than a year in retirement even if he didn't squander it.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

If the article is infuriating, I won't bother reading it.

So how much did this daughter's wedding cost? Enough to wipe out his entire 401k retirement savings? Something tells me he'd never survive more than a year in retirement even if he didn't squander it.

Enough to make the New York Times

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/04/fashion/weddings/tanne-gabler-braden-beard.html?_r=0

 

[pocomom]

This is one of my biggest problems with people who are always claiming that the system has gotten them and why do good things happen to bad people. Here's the thing, to have money, you have to live within whatever money you make. You may think Dave Ramsey is crazy, but the man's cash system works....every time. I'm not saying that I'm debt free yet, I am not by any means, but I am saying that I got a full ride to a state school for college and so that's where I went. I also had a wedding for $6,000, because that's the money my parents had (and now I think I could have done it for $100 and taken the money and ran!! ). We try our best to live within our means, which means we have emergency money should we need it. You are correct, this is an infuriating article.

That is what I'm going to do for my kids - I have X amount of $ take it and run, spend a little and keep the rest, or blow it all on a big wedding -your choice. .. they are smart kids and I think will all take A or B.

 

[pocomom]

I have to say I wanted to vomit when he said he lived in East Hampton. "Like the poor people."
I grew up in East Hampton. My folks ran a service business. He knows nothing of the local people. They hustle , they get up at 4 am and THEY save their money. My folks retired at 40, very well-off.
Many of the summer people live like him. They pretend they have money, looking down on the locals who work their butts off and ACTUALLY have money.

As far as his kids "deserving" their schools. I'm pretty sure that shows his whole philosophy (and problem) right there.

 

[RedAngie]

Enough to make the New York Times

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/05/04/fashion/weddings/tanne-gabler-braden-beard.html?_r=0

So on top of everything else, he wastes $200 or whatever to have the wedding announcement published in the NYT? I know, his daughter deserved it.

 

[mnrose]

People who spend like that make me crazy. I'm a saver. From way back. Basically, I started saving as soon as I got my first real job out of college. And DH and I made the conscious decision to NEVER "live" the lifestyle the money I earned could offer us if we spent it all. I made a very substantial 6 figure salary when I worked, but we saved 25+% of it each and every year. We've always driven our cars until they drop, instead of a new on every 3-4 years (as I see MANY people doing), we bought and lived in smaller homes, we furnished those homes largely second hand (gasp...the horror), and on and on and on. I'll be damned if I will take all my savings and spend it on sending my children to some elite private college. I just won't. We've saved for a nice public university and that will simply (the horror) have to be "good enough." LOL.

And, when I read things like this, I get angry all over again about any suggestion that we means test Social Security (at some point in the future). This jerk is going to be able to collect Social Security, and he's been an absolute twit about spending his money. And, those of us who are careful and DON'T send our children to Ivy League schools and DON'T shower them with lavish weddings we can't afford are going to get less because we've spent less. Drives me bonkers.

It absolutely floors me to read about the average amount people my age have saved for retirement (I'm in my late 50's)...about 125K. While that "sounds" like a lot, it is NOTHING. At most that's going to give you only a few thousand bucks a year to add to any pension you might have and Social Security (if it even exists). Scary proposition. And, it doesn't improve a whole lot by age 65, when the average is 165,000. The really scary part is how low the median saving is (1/2 have less and 1/2 have more)....at age 65, it is 75K. Half of Americans age 65 have less than 75,000 saved for retirement. Wow. Mind blown.

 

[barkley]

We live in a society where people think they have to have everything right now....and of course the newest and best of all these things too. Little thought is given to "tomorrow"....everything is about now.

I remember my mother (born in the 20's) commenting back in the 70's about how so many of her friend's adult children had the mindset that they HAD to start out their adult lives (home ownership/furnishing/autos) in the same manner their parents were currently living-no matter the financial cost. she would say 'don't they realize it took 'all of us' years to work and saving to acquire what we have'?

now I'm around the same age she was then and I see the same thing but to a greater extent with some of the young and even older (30's/40's) adults I know-they not only want to start out that way but at an excessively higher level with more visual (for lack of a better word) 'proof' that they are at a better level than what they perceive their parents are at. during the recession we saw lots of costly 'toys' (boats, rv's, atvs...), leased cars and financed furniture getting hauled out of homes before the homes were lost to foreclosure-now we're starting to see the build up of these items in neighboring houses again. hope people can actually afford them this time around because history shows us that at some point or another pretty much everyone experiences financial downturns.

 

[WIcruizer]

I honestly wouldn't care at all about this if I didn't have to pay for their mistakes, but of course I will. I'm not going to call their decisions stupid, or get upset in any way with how other people spend their money. Maybe someone wants to blow every dollar they ever made sending their kids to expensive schools, then live only on SS. Fine, your choice.

Problem is, as I said, it doesn't end there. All these people who have no savings will, as usual, expect the responsible people in society to pay more to subsidize their bad decisions.

 

[LisaR]

He also talks about stagnate wages. And about "rough patches". There is nothing complex about not buying a luxury you can't afford. You don't clear out your 401K to throw a 4 hour party. You don't need a financial planner to tell you it is wrong to clear out grandma's savings account so your princess can go to Stanford.

He does the ol': "Yes I made bad choices, BUT...." and "Maybe we screwed up."

There is no "but". There is no "maybe".

And then, of course, the Victim Card.

"Many middle-class wage earners are victims of the economy, and, perhaps, of that great, glowing, irresistible American promise that has been drummed into our heads since birth: Just work hard and you can have it all."

And then goes on to talk about how he was sued (for not fulfilling a contract) and of course he should have been given an extension. Blah. Blah. Blah. Full of excuses.

He still is not seeing that he is 100% wrong.

Is that really the American promise?? Was anyone else told that? Work hard and you can have it all? Really?? I think he misunderstood.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

Problem is, as I said, it doesn't end there. All these people who have no savings will, as usual, expect the responsible people in society to pay more to subsidize their bad decisions.

And like Neal, I feel they will take their elderly parents down with them. You have no idea (or perhaps you do) the large amount of people out there in their 40's, 50's and 60's that STILL ask for money from their parents. These parents being the last generation that most likely scrimped and saved their entire lives.

Now they are turning over their hard earned money to their adult children, so those adult children can give it to their Starbucks drinking, manipedi getting, brand new car driving, $200 sunglasses wearing twenty-somethings.

Neal's daughter went to Emory for social work. Social work. It's an awesome field of study, but she could have went somewhere less expensive for that degree. Why would you deplete your parent's savings so their granddaughter could go to Emory?

 

[teller80]

What about the role his parents played in all of this? Would you, as a grandparent, deplete your retirement account(s) to send your grandchildren to college? Seems like the apple didn't fall too far from the tree in this case.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

Would you, as a grandparent, deplete your retirement account(s) to send your grandchildren to college?

Never in a million years.

But I often wonder why grandparents that have been frugal minded their entire lives are willing to do this? What kind of child did they raise that would even _ask_ them to do such a thing?

 

[Patch'sD]

I can see not having anything left. Wages have stagnated while everything else has increased. Food prices have gone up, Gas prices went up and came down and are now headed back again. State and Local Governments still spend and have also passed on the cost to make up the losses to their pension funds. Health care costs were promised to come down with the ACA have risen every year since 2010. Food prices have increased, yet the only jobs that are being created are low paying.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

I can see not having anything left. Wages have stagnated while everything else has increased. Food prices have gone up, Gas prices went up and came down and are now headed back again. State and Local Governments still spend and have also passed on the cost to make up the losses to their pension funds. Health care costs were promised to come down with the ACA have risen every year since 2010. Food prices have increased, yet the only jobs that are being created are low paying.

The author does not have a low paying job. The author lives beyond his means. By choice. As do many middle class Americans.

 

[WIcruizer]

And like Neal, I feel they will take their elderly parents down with them. You have no idea (or perhaps you do) the large amount of people out there in their 40's, 50's and 60's that STILL ask for money from their parents. These parents being the last generation that most likely scrimped and saved their entire lives.

I disagree. The grandparents have a choice in what they do with their money as well. If they take their parents down with them, that's their parents fault. Actually, my SIL in her late 50s wanted money from my DH's parents. They said sorry, no. (That's a long story too, but I'll spare you all.)

 

[teller80]

Never in a million years.

But I often wonder why grandparents that have been frugal minded their entire lives are willing to do this? What kind of child did they raise that would even _ask_ them to do such a thing?

I wonder if the conversation went like this: "Mom and dad, I can borrow the money from a bank but if I borrow from you you'll earn the interest - it's a win win!" Parents know he has a good job, assumes he's financially stable so they agree. I wonder what his siblings (if he has any) think.

 

[morgan98]

Articles like this make me shake my head. I am 46 and am very thankful for the start my parents gave me in life. We did not live extravagantly, but they did fund my college education. I can tell you I would have to be almost starving on the street to ask my parents for money. It is not because I do not think they would help me, but it is because I think they raised me to be self sufficient. I would never expect my parents to fund my lifestyle choices at this point in my life.

Does this guy have any pride or self respect?

 

[Patch'sD]

The author does not have a low paying job. The author lives beyond his means. By choice. As do many middle class Americans.

Define Middle Class Americans, what income level are you looking at. Do they live in a Metro Area where prices and taxes are higher than most of the US. Income level means squat based upon where you live.

 

[PollyannaMom]

...But I often wonder why grandparents that have been frugal minded their entire lives are willing to do this? What kind of child did they raise that would even _ask_ them to do such a thing?

Fear. Because everyone - granddaughter, parents, grandparents is afraid she won't get a good job if she doesn't go to the best school. (Though, in this case, I don't think that fear is justified. I'm guessing social workers are very needed!) But it's a general fear a lot of people have because we have so many college-educated folks un- or under-employed.

Again, though - I see it as an explanation, not an excuse. If you don't have the money, you've just got to get over the fear!

 

[QueenIsabella]

That article is really annoying. Not to mention, should have been edited for length! He cites all these statistics, then mentions his bad choices, but doesn't really seem to make the connection. It's easy to blame easy credit or the housing crash or whatever, but his family made some stupendously bad choices. I feel bad for his daughters--here's hoping they make enough money to support Mom and Dad in their declining years.