10 Reasons You're still broke

[havaneselover]

Wow! Well I tend to not say much on this forums but this one really offended me! I have children and I was not married to their father. I am by no means poor simply because I wasn't married and had children out of wedlock. That is such an old fashioned notion. I support myself and my children just fine. Please understand that just because someone lives a different lifestyle than you by no means automatically subjects them to life of poverty.

I'm a single mom too (although I was married when I had both of my children). How is this offensive? It's based on very strong statistics.

 

[njmom47]

We live in NJ.
Oh yeah, and we have 3 kids.

 

[disfamof7]

I'm a single mom too (although I was married when I had both of my children). How is this offensive? It's based on very strong statistics.

There may be people who fall into that stereotype but to assume anyone who does have children out of wedlock and isn't married is going to be poor is a blanket assumption that is offensive. We live in a day in age where numerous women are choosing to have children without being married because it is a conscience choice they decide to make. Education is probably the number one factor determining your income level, not your family structure.

 

[Cowboysrule]

There may be people who fall into that stereotype but to assume anyone who does have children out of wedlock and isn't married is going to be poor is a blanket assumption that is offensive. We live in a day in age where numerous women are choosing to have children without being married because it is a conscience choice they decide to make. Education is probably the number one factor determining your income level, not your family structure.

That is offensive. We just settled my father in law's estate. He had a sith grade education and his estate was over 10 million.

 

[disfamof7]

That is offensive. We just settled my father in law's estate. He had a sith grade education and his estate was over 10 million.

And everyone will always find something offensive. Education, regardless of how much you are offended or want to argue is one of the largest determining factors in how much a person is going to make in a lifetime. There are always exceptions, which clearly your father in law was but this is not the normal situation. If you read my previous post, I stated education is PROBABLY the biggest factor! Did you read the article this thread is about? The first one mentioned is education!

 

[Cowboysrule]

I'm a single mom too (although I was married when I had both of my children). How is this offensive? It's based on very strong statistics.

Some of the statistics.

Children born into single-parent homes are roughly five times more likely to be poor than their peers with married parents and 80 percent of all long-term poverty occurs in single-parent homes.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Why do people get so offended?

Statistics prove that most people who do not have an education end up poor. Someone having a 6th grade education and dying with a 10 million estate is not the norm.

I'm also a single mom but was married when I had my children and I didn't take offense to the comment.

Most girls that I knew had kids young and were/are single moms ended up very poor. And the ones who married their child's father after the fact ended up even worse.

 

[havaneselover]

There may be people who fall into that stereotype but to assume anyone who does have children out of wedlock and isn't married is going to be poor is a blanket assumption that is offensive. We live in a day in age where numerous women are choosing to have children without being married because it is a conscience choice they decide to make. Education is probably the number one factor determining your income level, not your family structure.

Ugh. No one claimed that 100% of single moms will be poor. Growth in single family homes has caused an increase in poverty and income inequality. Anyone who has taken a college level statistics class can confirm this.

I refuse to get into the morality of choosing to have children without being married. I'm certain that will offend you : )

 

[eliza61]

There may be people who fall into that stereotype but to assume anyone who does have children out of wedlock and isn't married is going to be poor is a blanket assumption that is offensive. We live in a day in age where numerous women are choosing to have children without being married because it is a conscience choice they decide to make. Education is probably the number one factor determining your income level, not your family structure.

But she's got a point, now I don't know if the studies are flawed or not but statistically she is correct. Education and poverty are connected. Single household are five times as likely as married ones yo live in poverty. Single woman earn about 1/3 of what their married counterparts do. These are 2012 figures. Now you are right, not all single household are living in poverty but it's definitely something that I advise my children to avoid. Financially speaking and only that, children in a 2 parent family having a better chance of escaping poverty. Hey, Im a African American women and the statistics for my community are worse. I don't get offended, on the contrary, I mentor young sistahs on NOT getting pregnant before getting their college degree and marriage.

Many of them are already living below poverty conditions that are extremely hard to break out of, there best chance of breaking that cycle is through education and no babies.

 

[ellochka]

Some of the statistics.

Children born into single-parent homes are roughly five times more likely to be poor than their peers with married parents and 80 percent of all long-term poverty occurs in single-parent homes.

Actually, as a researcher let me twist that one for you. This particular myth of poverty and being single confuses causality. What you are saying is equivalent to people who go to hospital have a high chance of winding up dead, so one should never go to a hospital.

It's not that single people are more likely to be poor. It's that poor people are more likely to be single. Poor women are more likely to know fewer marriageable men. Poor women are more likely to choose to have a child while single - because they have very few opportunities to accomplish themselves otherwise. Even if a poor woman gets married, she is much more likely to get divorced, often, with horrible financial consequences.

The same thing with education - women with bachelor's degree (which is the driver here) are much more likely to get married and stay married than someone without a degree. She is also more likely to earn more, and thus her children, whatever her status when she has them, would not wind up poor.

 

[eliza61]

Actually, as a researcher let me twist that one for you. This particular myth of poverty and being single confuses causality. What you are saying is equivalent to people who go to hospital have a high chance of winding up dead, so one should never go to a hospital. It's not that single people are more likely to be poor. It's that poor people are more likely to be single. Poor women are more likely to know fewer marriageable men. Poor women are more likely to choose to have a child while single - because they have very few opportunities to accomplish themselves otherwise. Even if a poor woman gets married, she is much more likely to get divorced, often, with horrible financial consequences. The same thing with education - women with bachelor's degree (which is the driver here) are much more likely to get married and stay married than someone without a degree. She is also more likely to earn more, and thus her children, whatever her status when she has them, would not wind up poor.

But what does single have to do with babies. So if you live in the hood and you know the chances of meeting about with some one you would marry are slim, why would you have a baby by this dude? I hear it all the time with young sistahs that have 3,4,5 babies by different brothers who are long gone. So you call kicking out a kid who has almost a 100% chance of continuing the cycle an accomplishment . Sorry thats the type of mentality we are trying to break them out of. How about this. Stay in school, don't get pregnant, increase your opportunity to better yourself THEN concentrate on getting a man. Lol and yes, if I knew that going to the hospital meant an 80% chance of me dying! guess who would never be stepping into a hospital In Camden and North philly if you are black, teenage mother you have almost an 82% chance of dying in poverty. And this is ok?

Listen, I fully applaud every single mom that is holding it down but I do think we have to acknowledge the very real negative sides to it. For every one successful single mom, there are 6 other sinking. Those are not good odds..

 

[ellochka]

But what does single have to do with babies. So if you live in the hood and you know the chances of meeting about with some one you would marry are slim, why would you have a baby by this dude? I hear it all the time with young sistahs that have 3,4,5 babies by different brothers who are long gone. So you call kicking out a kid who has almost a 100% chance of continuing the cycle an accomplishment . Sorry thats the type of mentality we are trying to break them out of. How about this. Stay in school, don't get pregnant, increase your opportunity to better yourself THEN concentrate on getting a man. Lol and yes, if I knew that going to the hospital meant an 80% chance of me dying! guess who would never be stepping into a hospital In Camden and North philly if you are black, teenage mother you have almost an 82% chance of dying in poverty. And this is ok?

Listen, I fully applaud every single mom that is holding it down but I do think we have to acknowledge the very real negative sides to it. For every one successful single mom, there are 6 other sinking. Those are not good odds..

Well, imagine a woman with very little chances of marrying, little chances of having a career, no education, no way to escape. How do you think she feels like? Happy? Does she feel she is loved?

Now, answer this final question - will her baby love her?

The problem is not that a poor teenage black mother has an 82% chance of dying in poverty. The problem that a poor black teenager has nearly 80% chance of dying in poverty, whether she has a baby or not. Studies show that whose who opted not to have children are not much better off. And if you have a baby, you will be respected in the community, you will feel like you are accomplishing something (well, maybe not much), and you will have someone who loves you, maybe for a time.

See, it makes sense, at least, for them.

 

[eliza61]

Well, imagine a woman with very little chances of marrying, little chances of having a career, no education, no way to escape. How do you think she feels like? Happy? Does she feel she is loved? Now, answer this final question - will her baby love her? The problem is not that a poor teenage black mother has an 82% chance of dying in poverty. The problem that a poor black teenager has nearly 80% chance of dying in poverty, whether she has a baby or not. Studies show that whose who opted not to have children are not much better off. And if you have a baby, you will be respected in the community, you will feel like you are accomplishing something (well, maybe not much), and you will have someone who loves you, maybe for a time. See, it makes sense, at least, for them.

Oh definitely, I'm not trying to argue the mindset,, what my organization tries to do is CHANGE that mind set!!
We try to show them the possibilities. Tell them the BEST chance to change their destiny and beat the odds is by delaying having kids, by staying in school, by getting married, etc etc

 

[DawnM]

A gajillion? (how many is that actually?)

She does do some things, but I don't think it is as many as you think. She does exactly what she wants, when she wants. She doesn't ever HAVE to do it. She does it for publicity and fame.

And yet- Paris actually busts her butt with a gajillion jobs. She does promotion where she gets paid to go to clubs, she models, she records "music", she films TV shows, she has perfume lines, handbag lines, clothing lines, shoe collections, watches- as much as it seems like she is famous for being famous, that woman WORKS.

So, sure, she could probably just be a couch potato with her Dad's money- but I think the article was pointing out that most rich people don't waste their free time. They monetize it.

 

[ellochka]

Oh definitely, I'm not trying to argue the mindset,, what my organization tries to do is CHANGE that mind set!!
We try to show them the possibilities. Tell them the BEST chance to change their destiny and beat the odds is by delaying having kids, by staying in school, by getting married, etc etc

It's awesome that you are doing it. Education is the likely best way to go about it. Once the young women feel like they can make something of themselves through career, it's going to be a strong positive motivation. Best of luck!

 

[trainingupmy4princes]

And the article leaves out two of the most proven factors that determine if someone is going to be poor or not - don't get pregnant out of wedlock and marry the father of your children.

I think the most important thing ( which is also what I teach my kids) is knowing the difference between needs and wants. A huge cable bill or the latest new electronic toy as I tell my DH is a want. We have cable with no extra movie channels etc. I do see a lot of families who actually do their kids a disservice by playing keep up with the classmates. This sets them up to be financially irresponsible then they're older. My kids share a family computer and if they want a personal laptop, well they have to earn the money for it.

We are working on the Dave Ramsey program to hopefully get in a better position as we do have some cc debt from a few years ago when the business my DH owns took a dip.

 

[3CW]

I had one deploy and the e/r staff was amazed that I hadn't either broken an arm or my nose. told dh and I that if there's time to react the first impulse people have is to raise their arm up in front of their face-so the bag hits the arm and breaks it as it's hitting and breaking the nose. I did end up with bruising up and down both arms and my chest (no injuries from the actual accident though).

I had one deploy and it broke my thumb because I was gripping the wheel right over where the panel popped out. My only injury from that crash. But given the way the vehicle looked afterward (front end was totally pancaked), I feel like that airbag probably did me more good than harm!

 

[trainingupmy4princes]

Well, imagine a woman with very little chances of marrying, little chances of having a career, no education, no way to escape. How do you think she feels like? Happy? Does she feel she is loved?

Now, answer this final question - will her baby love her?

The problem is not that a poor teenage black mother has an 82% chance of dying in poverty. The problem that a poor black teenager has nearly 80% chance of dying in poverty, whether she has a baby or not. Studies show that whose who opted not to have children are not much better off. And if you have a baby, you will be respected in the community, you will feel like you are accomplishing something (well, maybe not much), and you will have someone who loves you, maybe for a time.

See, it makes sense, at least, for them.

I had my kids expecting I would nurture and love them and meet their needs, Expecting a child to meet an adult's emotional needs is downright wrong. Parenting require a selflessness that few teen are really ready to handle. And the ability to get pregnant when you have no way of supporting said baby is not an accomplishment.

 

[trainingupmy4princes]

Now, our biggest money drain is 2 of our boys are unique (on the spectrum)and as such have extra medical bills that heath insurance only covers part of and now our older 14 YO is going into a specialized therapy program once a week that is 3 hours away. So our gasoline bill is going up as well as the therapy bill. But, it's an investment so he can have a future. This is also why I stay a SAHM because sometimes I need to go to the school for them, as well as chauffeur all their dr appts.

 

[Dakota731]

Well I tend to not say much on this forums but this one really offended me! I have children and I was not married to their father. I am by no means poor simply because I wasn't married and had children out of wedlock. That is such an old fashioned notion. I support myself and my children just fine. Please understand that just because someone lives a different lifestyle than you by no means automatically subjects them to life of poverty. Reply With Quote

Some facts are tough to take but can't be ignored or the problem will never be solved. In certainly has nothing to do with my lifestyle opinions. I have seen it personally in my own family as well, and it's a hard path to travel for these young girls who often never get out of the hole. You may be an exception, but it's reality and can't be just left out of the equation because it offends a few people.

Working single mothers are disproportionately likely to be poor, and their ranks are growing, according to a new report from the Working Poor Families Project.

While families headed by a working mom make up less than a quarter of all working families, they make up nearly 40 percent of all low-income ones. And their numbers are on the rise: the share of working families headed by a woman that are low income increased from 54 percent in 2007 to 58 percent in 2012.